Anna, good afternoon!
This is how life works: everything flows, everything changes, including you, your feelings and your relationships. The psychology of relationships suggests that those qualities that we like in a person at the very beginning are often the ones that irritate us later. Why is that? After all, at first we like the fact that he is different from us, and then when we communicate a lot, it is this difference that begins to irritate. After all, there must be flexibility in communication, you have to give in, make compromises, put your point of view aside.
And I perfectly understand your confusion. But in order to understand what Anna is for you, you need to understand many internal motives. Of course, Anna, I want to ask you a lot of questions: Have you really stopped loving him? Or is it simply a new period of your relationship with this young man and this requires inner work from you, but you don’t know how to make the relationship better? Are you upset because the feeling has gone and an explanation is needed, but at the same time you don’t want to hurt the person or hurt him? After all, there was a lot of good in them and you mutually developed each other, warmed each other, smiled? Or is it more important to remain “good” and let it somehow resolve itself, but I won’t start the conversation first, so as not to seem ungrateful and callous?
There are many questions, and probably the most important one: “Anna, what exactly do you want?”
If you understand that you cannot treat him as before, then the adult solution is a conversation: sincere, frank, feminine.
The first thing to do is set the time for the conversation itself. “Sergey, we need to talk to you, when can we do this?”
Secondly, you need to define for yourself what will be a good result of your conversation with the young man. Perhaps this will be that you indicate your feelings and desire to maintain friendly relations with him. (Of course, you should be prepared for the fact that he may have his own plans and understandings. In any case, you need to respect his feelings).
Then you start the conversation with sincere gratitude to both him and your relationship. “Sergey, I am very grateful to meet you and everything that happened next to you.” Then identify your thoughts and feelings. “I want to be honest with you, I don’t feel the same way right now and I’m starting to get annoyed about it. I thought for a long time - I made the decision to break up, not because you are bad or I am bad, probably we both grew out of this relationship... On the other hand, I would be glad if we could maintain our relationship with you. Although I understand perfectly well that at first it will be difficult for both me and you. I don’t know how they behave in this situation, but it is precisely because you are valuable to me that I decided to tell you the truth.”
Anna, you need to realize that a breakup hurts. And very often we suffer not from our true feelings, but from what we feel in relation to what we feel. those. when we start to get angry because we no longer love, or feel powerless because our partner is annoying, or we reject our pain.
Well, if you nevertheless decide to develop this relationship further and look at your partner with different eyes, then another honest conversation will be necessary. A conversation about what works in a relationship and what doesn’t. And don’t forget the main question: “What do I want?” After all, you are the most important person in your life. Anna, good luck to you.
Marina Polyanskaya, psychologist, coach, trainer, Minsk
Polyanskaya Marina Vasilievna, psychologist in Minsk
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Happiness is fleeting, but life is long. Therefore, it can accommodate not one, but several heartfelt affections. As a result, the words “I stopped loving you” are uttered much more often than we would like, and require one hundred percent readiness in any circumstances. And to do this, it’s worth taking a closer look at the situation, not forgetting to look into the most secret corners of yourself.
What to do if you stop loving a guy?
Talk frankly with yourself. You need to figure out whether you love him or not. After all, the words that you convey to him later will definitely hurt, despite the carefully chosen wording. Therefore, first express everything to yourself and only then decide to move on.
Sort the words into sections. Before starting a conversation, you must be 100% sure of what you will say. Don’t invent anything as you go, but plan it in advance - every phrase, every comma, so that you can calmly reach the point of your unloved relationship.
Think about the place and specify the time. A conversation like this requires the right environment. Don’t start it at home – neither on yours nor on his territory. Don’t invite him to your secret place, so as not to escalate the situation. A suitable option is a calm, uncrowded cafeteria, where you can sit down and quietly discuss everything, and then immediately leave, allowing him to sit still with a cup of cooled coffee.
Gently prepare your partner. To do this, it is enough to speak directly about a serious conversation, and not frighten with mysterious hints. You can phrase it this way: “I have a serious conversation with you. When will be more convenient for you? Please set a suitable time."
Talk only about yourself. Remember: this is not a dialogue, but a statement of fact that you must tell your ex-lover. Nothing more, so do most of the talking yourself. If it doesn't work, listen to him.
Answer in detail. If a guy wants to know the reason for leaving, give a detailed answer, do not remain silent, shrugging your shoulders in surprise. It’s better to let him hear everything from you, and not from strangers. And try not to lie. Deception will instill doubts in him and cause complexes.
Give him the right to choose. If your ex gets up and turns around, don't delay any longer - let him go. He needs personal space to understand your difficult decision. And if he wants to have a conversation, ask him to ask questions without emotion or shouting. React with restraint.
Set new boundaries. That is, outline with him what is now possible and what is unacceptable. Consider next steps: for example, when to pick up things if you lived in the same apartment.
Why don't women notice?
When experiencing serious feelings, the stronger sex behaves exactly the same as women. A person in love is easy to notice and recognize. When love leaves, a man’s behavior changes immediately, no matter how hard he tries to hide it. People around do not notice this when it does not concern them and it does not affect them in any way. They are busy with themselves and their own affairs, and are able to feel something when something too extraordinary happens or they are told about it.
But a woman in love, as they say, is the last to know everything. She is so immersed in her own feelings, busy with household responsibilities, children when she has them, her career, and is generally convinced that since he chose her, his feelings are unchanged, especially when she does so much for their relationship that she does not notice anything until he does not decide to leave or remains in blissful ignorance, although he may have several mistresses.
She transfers her own feelings to the man, sometimes not noticing that his behavior has changed, he has become colder and inattentive. She may have suspicions in her heart that the man has fallen out of love, but she will try to convince herself that it seems to her and even if she asks, she is unlikely to hear the truth. Almost no one is ready to honestly admit that he fell in love with someone else or that his feelings disappeared or became less strong. It’s not pleasant to feel like a bad person who betrayed another and caused him pain.
A man tries to hide until the last moment that he has stopped loving a woman. Someone tries to explain what doesn't suit him in a relationship, but if he was ignored, pretending that it was all nonsense, he believes that nothing will change and continues to remain silent until it is too late. Others know what will follow: debriefing, hysteria, tears and accusations of all mortal sins; so they remain silent until the last, protecting themselves and hoping that everything will resolve itself.
What to do if you stop loving your husband?
First. First, firmly decide what it is: an age or family crisis, fatigue, poor health, problems at work, dissatisfaction with salary, resentment or something else. This is extremely important, since crises happen even in the most close-knit families. For example, after a year of living together, the birth of a child, or children leaving for independent life. In this case, you need to recognize the problem, and not wave your sword baldly.
Second. Think about it: is it worth getting a divorce? After all, leaving will be equated to escaping not only from your husband, but also from your family, problems, and yourself. It’s better to try to change the situation by starting with something small. For example, from your own hairstyle. Your spouse will change behind you, and then the family situation will change. Is it worth risking an established way of life, comfort and a loving husband for the sake of incomprehensible fleeting moods? After all, in the end you will come to the same thing again: a family (albeit a different one), a second half, whom it is not a fact that you will love each other.
Third. Take a closer look: maybe jealousy just woke up in you, and against its background there is indignation and everything else, including dislike? Then return your husband to resolve your own internal conflict. How? This is a separate topic for conversation, because there are many ways to bring a family together without harming your loved ones. But if because of this there is discord, scandals and humiliation in the house in front of the children, then, of course, it is preferable to separate. As quietly and peacefully as possible.
Fourth. Don’t judge yourself for not loving the person you voluntarily went down the aisle with. Such is life and things happen in it. Don’t consider yourself inferior compared to your friends, even if they have full-fledged families. It’s not a fact that something worse isn’t going on behind the walls of their apartments. You just managed to recognize the problem in time and stop it, but they didn’t. Therefore, it is still unknown who is really lucky.
We have been dating a guy for 2.5 years. A month ago he said that he stopped loving me. This news was unexpected for me, because I thought that everything was fine with us. I cried, didn’t know what to do, I loved him very much, I was in a lot of pain. He left, thought and returned. He said he was wrong. He said that something was missing that was there at the beginning of the relationship. After some time he said that he fell in love with me again. It seemed like everything was fine after that. We went home for 10 days (it had been planned for a long time). And then something wrong started: he says that he misses me, that he can’t, how he wants to see me. But I don’t miss you, I don’t miss you as much as before - we communicate normally, make plans, work, but I don’t count the days until the meeting as before. For the first time in three years, I was not happy when I left home; on the contrary, I cried that I was saying goodbye to my parents. We quarreled just before the meeting and quarreled so much (but I felt that I loved him), I didn’t respond to his messages the whole evening (this had never happened before), that the worst thing was that I didn’t want to answer. When we met, there was not the same trepidation as before. He talks about the wedding, about what he wants with me. And I don’t know if I want this now. It's as if something was missing. When I imagine him with someone else, I don’t feel unpleasant, I don’t care. Became sharper.
It seems that I have fallen out of love with the guy
Ada, hello! Apparently, the temporary break in relations had its effect. Each of you (your boyfriend and you) had time to be outside of the relationship. In general, this could not but affect both of you. When people doubt their feelings, taking such a time-out is very useful, because then the influence of the object itself goes away, and only you are left with your feelings. At m.ch. there were suspicions that he had stopped loving you. But he could not stand the separation. Perhaps he really loves you and has undergone some re-evaluation of your relationship, or perhaps he is afraid of loneliness. It is difficult, of course, to say for sure. But this forced time-out did not pass without a trace for you either. Now you are not so sure that you want to be with this martyr, you are not sure that you are ready to marry him. Maybe it’s not necessary? If you no longer care, it means that now you do not have strong enough feelings for him to connect your life with him. What if you take a time out now? And try to listen to yourself even more. I will be glad to help you. Write! Sincerely, Olga Akimova Skype tochka.opory24-akimova
It seems that I have fallen out of love with the guy
Hello Ada.
A month ago he said that he stopped loving me. This news was unexpected for me, because I thought that everything was fine with us. I cried, didn’t know what to do, I loved him very much, I was in a lot of pain. He left, thought and returned. He said he was wrong. He said that something was missing that was there at the beginning of the relationship. After some time he said that he fell in love with me again. It seemed like everything was fine after that.
It is possible that the reason for your cooling is somehow connected with the feelings that you experienced when you unexpectedly learned that m.ch.
stopped loving you. I can imagine that you had many different strong emotions. Perhaps in the way you experienced that period there were elements of disappointment, loss of a sense of security in the relationship, maybe even trust, fear of a repetition of sudden pain. These feelings are very painful and traumatic. It is possible that your reaction is an unconscious attempt to protect yourself from pain. It can help to analyze your relationship with your partner in order to understand what happened in your relationship, what did not satisfy him, and how it happened that it happened unexpectedly for you. Do you know how to talk to each other about what doesn’t suit you, what you both lack in the relationship? This can help restore lost trust and ease the fear of the same situation happening again. If you need help with this, please contact us for a consultation via Skype. Sincerely, psychologist, Lola Makarova.
It seems that I have fallen out of love with the guy
Hello Ada! Please tell me, did you talk to the guy about the reasons for his past decision, did you tell him about the feelings you experienced at that moment? How could you yourself describe the feeling you experienced when you found out that you were no longer in love? Are you offended by the guy for this incident? Perhaps your current reaction is the result of an offense that you have not yet been able to live and let go of. Or maybe not, maybe you really stopped loving this person, became disappointed in him and lost trust. However, relationships that last more than one year often reach a dead end, feelings cool down a little, there is no longer that excitement before a meeting, waiting for a call, the desire to constantly surprise and delight, to be nearby. Try one simple trick: imagine that you broke up and this person is no longer in your life, he won’t call, won’t hug, won’t wish you good night. You have your own life, without him, he has his own. answer yourself three questions: how do I feel now? What do I think about when I imagine this situation? what do I want to do at this moment? I’ll be glad to hear about your thoughts and feelings! And also various feelings and emotions (and even their absence) can be worked out in an individual online meeting. Regards, Anastasia
They say that even the most sincere love begins to fade by the end of the third year of a relationship. This is because during the first months of a relationship, pheromones are produced in our blood, which attract us to another person. After a year, the chemical effect is no longer so strong and if you and your boyfriend do not constantly add wood to the fire of your love, then it will gradually become weaker and weaker.
You can warm up feelings not only with positive emotions, but also with negative ones, which is why many couples, a year after meeting, go through a period of quarrels over trifles. Don't be surprised if after a few months of your relationship you feel cold towards your guy. Most likely, a turning point has come when you need to decide what to do: break up or give your feelings a chance to rehabilitate.
how quickly can a man stop loving a woman
Love is a wonderful feeling, but if now you are asking the question “how to stop loving a man ,” it means that all the wonderful things are ahead of you. And at this stage, you should stop falling into a romantic frenzy and, before it’s too late, save yourself from love. If you want to fall out of love with a man relatively painlessly and quickly, this article will put you in the right mood. Causes and Effects
Sometimes we fall in love with a man whose love is beyond our strength. The reasons could be, for example:
1. The man said goodbye to you forever, or you feel that he will do so very soon . If you can cope with unrequited love, you will have a chance to return his love (one of the ways to do this is described in the very middle of the article).
2. You feel, and this is confirmed by the facts, that only you truly love . And he just gets pleasure - he turns his cheek to you, it’s good!
3. Your loved one expects too much from you. For example, he gives an ultimatum: either me or your career. Either only “kitchen, church, children”, or expense-divorce. Tolerating rigid patriarchy is a thankless task. By obediently accepting the “terms of the deal,” you can ultimately not only kill his interest in yourself, but also, over time, ruin yourself as a person.
4. An overly jealous man is in some cases a threat to life and always a guaranteed hassle. If you don’t agree to live your best years as if under a burqa, unreasonable attacks of jealousy are a serious reason to think about it.
5. The main woman for him is not you, but his mother , whom you must constantly please, and whose opinion should be law for your couple. Relax and give up the “throne” to her - in this life no one owes anyone anything.
6. A man has a difficult character, or he has no character at all . In principle, both of them can easily cover all your love happiness with a copper basin. With a despot, you will have to “bend and adapt” for life; with a spineless one, you will have to take on the role of a “mother-heroine” and tirelessly offer your “son” a strong shoulder.
7. You and he give completely different meanings to the words “love and fidelity.” This will hurt you greatly.
In these and similar situations, it is really not easy to love, therefore, rather than going completely crazy, it is better to stop loving a man. Master a step-by-step system that not only helps you stop loving a man, but (lo and behold!) in some cases can even bring the man back .
Step 1: Face the truth
Our feelings are beyond our control - this is an excuse for those who like to suffer. Lovers of suffering, do not read further - it is unrealistic for you to stop loving a tormenting man. And to women who truly value themselves, I will continue to share my personal experience, which shows: if you understand where the smoke actually comes from, it is quite possible to extinguish the fire of love.
Romantic frenzy lulls the brain. But if you really want to stop loving a man, it’s time to awaken your dormant mind: face the truth - under the guise of “unhappy love” there is often hidden blatant self-deception. And the sooner you open up to the truth, the sooner you can stop loving the man who torments you. An honest answer to the questions below will cool your heart and straighten your brain.
1. Does your loved one often take the initiative?
2. How does he let you know that he is interested in continuing the relationship?
3. Who makes the appointment for whom and who arranges it?
4. Who kisses whom - who hugs whom?
5. Does he worry if you suddenly disappear from sight?
6. Is he looking for you or are you looking for him?
7. Is this relationship just for you?
Do you love you really, and does he love you virtually? This is not love - it all just seems. Are you ready to sacrifice your beauty and youth for the sake of a ghost man? To stop loving a ghost man means to finally love yourself!
Do you dream of a happy marriage and beloved children? What could happen to your love in a couple of years? Goodbye romance - hello snot and sore tummies, children's clinics, kindergartens, schools and registration at the stove! Do children strengthen feelings? Only on the condition that their daddy does not turn out to be a complete egoist who expects attention only to himself. Is your man a complete egoist? To stop loving an egoistic man means to finally love yourself!
What gifts did he give you? How overwhelmed was he with feelings for you? When a man is overwhelmed with feelings for a woman, then he will not count every penny and wait for sales to buy you some cheap nonsense. Then he will not give you a gift that will benefit himself, such as a food processor or a vacuum cleaner - a loving man would rather go to a jewelry store. Or are you satisfied with dry pragmatists and calculating cynics, who have only one thing in their heads: is this woman worth spending a lot on? To stop loving a stingy man means to fall in love with yourself!
Does he willingly undertake to solve your problems or do your problems remain only yours? Remember this: at first you just casually mentioned one of your little problems, then, deciding that he didn’t hear, you hinted 100 more times, then you said it directly... So what? He is busy? Does he have anything to do? Don’t wait in vain - he is busy only for you, you just met an indifferent man. To stop loving an indifferent man means to fall in love with yourself!
Step 2. Give free rein to your emotions
When you decide to stop loving a man, you may feel such pain... Don't try to ignore the pain. It’s inside and trying to forcefully drown it out is like sawing off a piece of living flesh from itself.
Pain can destroy us from the inside, but if we treat it correctly, it can also create. In agony you can not only die, but also, for example, give birth to a strong and beautiful child. Every time we end a relationship, every time we take stock, we have the opportunity to give birth to a new, more perfect ourselves. And if at the time of such “birth” pain is felt, then this is quite normal.
But the above does not mean that one should revel in pain. We must not revel in it, but on the contrary, throw out the pain. An ideal “target” for an outburst could be: a trusted friend, a favorite pillow, a blank sheet of paper. Let's look at the last method separately. Because with the help of this method it is possible not only to fall out of love, but also to return a man . This is true. I tried it, it worked for me and not only for me. So, if you really want to fall out of love or return:
Writing letters as a way to fall out of love
Whatever you want, but are embarrassed to tell him face to face, write in letters (but don’t send them right away!) Only everything is honest, as if you are talking with God himself, who knows everything and to whom it is impossible to lie. It can be in prose or it can be in verse. Tears will come out first, don’t hold them back, keep scribbling. Then it will become even more painful. Don’t fight the pain - tell yourself: this month I will allow myself to suffer, and the next month I will have fun. When you go to the doctor for a painful procedure, you prepare yourself: now I will suffer a little, and then I will enjoy my health!
One of my friends filled three thick notebooks with poetry. When a month later, her beloved came to his senses and returned to her, she calmly handed him these three notebooks, soaked with her tears, and coolly slammed the door in his face. After reading this, he ran after her for another two years.
Another could not get rid of an unrequited feeling for a person with whom the relationship ended a long time ago. I wrote him such a frank letter that I would never have shown him voluntarily. And she didn’t show it! He found her on Odnoklassniki and began asking for a meeting.
I used this method myself. I wrote everything I wanted, but couldn’t tell him to his face. I also wrote this: “I forgive, I bless, I release you to your highest good,” I re-read it every day for two weeks, until I was really saturated with it, and began to literally begin to see clearly: who is he for me?
When we met, I felt: everything was over, I don’t need him anymore. The relief was enormous. I can’t explain why this works, why a man, to whom you lose interest after writing these letters, then begins to call you and show his love in every possible way. I don't know exactly, but I can guess why. Because Pushkin also wrote, in my free translation: “The less (...) we love, the easier it is for them to like us.”
If you don’t feel like writing, or it seems to you that this method is not for you, you can draw (see the art therapy section) or splash out in a wild, crazy dance. Chaotic uncontrolled movements accompanied by detached music can easily replace your mournful record.
Step 3. Have a healthy cynicism
Sing Grigory Leps’ song at karaoke: “I don’t love you - I decided so!” (...) This is my main advantage” - a very instructive and vital song. In short, stop feeling sorry for yourself and gain healthy cynicism. You are not the first - you are not the last. This man is only an episode in your life, and the main character in it is you. Treat yourself, order yourself a ring with an engraving like King Solomon made: “This too shall pass.” Or just tell yourself the phrase that ends one of my poems: “Everything that is real is with me forever.”
Step 4. Discover hidden reserves.
Love is a pleasant thing, but too energy-intensive. When we are only able to think about one thing, we cannot develop in other directions. If we were always in euphoria, in an emotional paradise, there would be no need for progress. Why should Adam and Eve work on themselves if everything is fine with them? But when God lowered them to earth, and all the pleasures suddenly ended, sobriety and the desire to work did not take long to arrive.
Sublimate your freed energy into some useful activity.
Despair is the most springboard! One of my friends, after breaking up with her lover, made a brilliant career in sports, another “shot out” by writing a dissertation on the topic of unrequited love, the third succeeded in network marketing. By the way, as soon as they realized themselves in business, their personal life immediately improved. Take a break from men's hugs - feel independent and emancipated. This is only for a while! There are cases when, in order to open your hidden reserves, you cannot do without shock therapy. Take the chance to fall out of love with a man and get solid bonuses for it! I really liked the quote from one smart book: “Lord, help me understand: if I lose this, does that mean I definitely get something in return?”
Should I tell the guy?
Before you tell your guy that you don't love him anymore, think carefully. After all, after these words there will be no turning back: your relationship will most likely begin to fall apart, because no one wants to be with a person if the feelings are not mutual.
Perhaps you just felt like your love was starting to fade. In this case, you and your boyfriend need to experience some vivid emotions together. You can invite him to go somewhere together or add variety to your intimate life. Vivid emotions and new impressions often revive relationships, but not always for a long time.
That is, you will have to constantly come up with new ways to entertain yourself and your spouse so that your feelings do not cool down. Are you ready for this? If you don't value the relationship that much and the person starts to irritate you, it's unlikely that you will be able to cope with your dislike. In any case, do not make hasty decisions that you may regret. Give yourself time to think about the situation and try to love the guy again.
How to forget the person you love: “licking” the wounds
It happens that it is not fate. There is no way people can be together. And what can you do if your heart is breaking, aching from pain, but not physical. What can I fix in my brain so that this main organ forgets forever the one who is still almost the meaning of life? How to erase from your mind someone who seems to have taken it away forever... These questions are very difficult to find an answer to, but in this article we will try to find out how to forget the person you love.
Is it necessary to do this?
Suffering is good. They educate a person, give him an inner core, and form endurance. A reasonable person will learn lessons from such a situation that will help her adapt to life in the future. But if a person experiences torment, then it corrupts the soul, and the outcome of such an experience is difficult to predict. In such a situation, nothing is formed in the individual except resentment and bitterness, which later acquire global proportions due to a breakdown in character.
When answering the question of whether you should try to fall out of love, you should determine for yourself the “scale of defeat”: if this feeling hurts you greatly, then you can wait a little, and you won’t have to take any intentional actions - it will go away on its own. But if it poisons your entire existence and ruins your life, then immediately read the following paragraphs of the article.
Awareness of the problem
How to forget the person you love? The first step towards getting rid of this burden is to recognize the problem. Figure it out: is this love, or a mania imposed by complexes? True love, as psychologists say, does not cause pain: its object is always achievable, and relationships with it are harmonious. By this they cross out the descriptions of such a high feeling by brilliant authors, in whose works love was of universal proportions.
You must understand that getting rid of ordinary love is much easier than getting rid of manic feelings. Having realized what exactly you are experiencing, why and why you need it, solve 50% of the problem.
Real estimate
How to let go of the person you love? You need to understand that you are not a couple. Justify for yourself mentally or write down on a piece of paper what circumstances, character traits and any other conditions prevent your love from being realized the way you want. “By coming down to earth” with the help of a real look at the problem, love will be adequately positioned as a phenomenon, and you will recognize the conditions of its existence.
Substitution of emotions
How to forget the person you love with the help of distraction? Switch to other people, you don't have to love them. Be friends, hate, but digress. A strong feeling of love needs to be replaced with another strong feeling. Do what you've dreamed of all your life: jump with a parachute, travel around countries, make a career - whatever. Get a pet and love it, take care of it and watch it grow - this will definitely give you positive emotions and “switch” you from focusing on yourself.
Belief
In this part of the article we will figure out how to forget the person you love using persuasion. Lie to yourself. Say you don't love anyone. Then, after you believe the lie, make sure it is correct, and maybe you will like this position so much that you will actually stop loving. Some people like to play the role of an altar and a sufferer, so any unhappy love can turn out to be an elementary way of trying on a certain image, where the actor and the viewer are one person.
Disappointment
How to stop loving the person you love? Be disappointed in him. List all sorts of negative traits of his personality, think about how terrible and disgusting they are. Perhaps such an exercise will deprive the bright image of your love object, and feelings will gradually cool down.
Here are some methods you can try. However, the main thing in this matter is to wait time. Everything passes with him, memory is erased, emotions fade, leaving an imprint on the personality of the lover. Forgetting forever in the literal sense of the word is unlikely to happen unless amnesia occurs. But it will definitely work to perceive this sad experience not so sharply, because there is a new life ahead, and who knows if someone who is also very capable of love is waiting for you in it.
How to love a guy again
Have you decided to try not to rush things and try to awaken your feelings? Great, then start immediately to get your love back. The first thing you need to do is go back in time and remember why you fell in love with your boyfriend.
You can even go to the place of your first date and walk around there, bringing back memories. Maybe you just forgot how happy you were to meet you and how fascinated you were by his attention and by him? After your memories are stirred, you need to carefully analyze your current relationship. Think about what good they bring you and what causes negativity in you. If there is clearly more good, then you should not throw away these relationships. Try to look at the guy with different eyes, for example, imagine that you are strangers.
Talk to your friends and discuss your boyfriend with them. You will see that some of them are not averse to creating a couple with him, because for them he is an attractive and interesting young man. Finally, pretend that you still love the guy. That is, act as if the feelings have not cooled down. Keep going on dates with him, taking care of him and talking about love. Perhaps after a while everything will really return to normal, and your love will flare up with renewed vigor.
School of Black and White Psychology
Relationships are something that you need to protect and invest your energy, time and emotions into. True, strong love is ready to survive both fire and water, but to reach such a relationship you need to endure a lot and go hand in hand. Strengthening relationships requires a lot of effort, but many of us forget about it and relax. This leads to devaluation of the partner. It becomes a part of our life. At this stage, many men become cold towards their ladies. We have collected the most common problems and causes.
The main thing is to understand that a man will not cool down towards you suddenly and for just one reason. It is a continuous process of actions and consequences. When you hear from a man that something doesn’t suit him, pay attention to the problem even then. Do not consider this a special type of manipulation and frivolous comments. The worst thing will happen if you pay attention to your man’s words only when he loses interest in you. Don't live the romance that was written in your head by films and books of this genre. Be serious. That's life.
If you look at it, you can understand that for the most part men are straightforward and simple people, which cannot be said about women who constantly overthink things. There is not a bit of sexism here, it’s just that girls are more sensitive and reflect on events much more, sometimes in vain. It is on the basis of this “difference” that problems arise between the relationship between a man and a woman. The second, being more emotionally savvy, should understand a few points that will greatly simplify life for them and their significant other. Don't think that a man is more difficult because they don't talk about their feelings out loud. Try to learn to understand what a man wants to say, it’s not a complicated science at all. Below are the most common reasons why a man may stop loving his woman:
Annoyance Annoyance shows your dependence on a man. It manifests itself in the fact that you constantly write and call him when he is not around, you always want to know where and with whom he went, or better yet go with him. If you are ready to cancel all your important things in order to go with him somewhere where he didn’t even invite you, this is obsession. Don't expect anything like that in response. For a man, this will be an uncomfortable indicator of weakness on your part. He will quickly understand that you are an insecure person and that your whole life directly depends on him. Will he want to take on such responsibility? Most likely, no. A strong-willed woman should have her own life, plans, goals and, most importantly, independence. It's attractive. Drama Men hate nothing more than having their brains drilled into them. A girl is chosen for her character, sense of humor, and positivity. It is unlikely that anyone will fall in love with a hysterical woman who starts a scandal for no reason or no reason. Do not exaggerate with drama, do not invent non-existent problems, otherwise you yourself will become a problem for your young man. Try to talk calmly, and if a man says that you are going too far, lower the bar. If he still lies to you, it will still come to the surface. By constantly showing negative emotions, he will associate you with negativity. Men appreciate women for their sensitivity, but you shouldn’t go too far with it.
Show him that you appreciate him Men love compliments, but they rarely show it. This secrecy is explained by the fact that men are afraid of failure in love affairs. From childhood, it is ingrained in their heads that they must support their family, be in charge, and take care of their partner and children. They need a lot of strength to carry this responsibility on their shoulders. In no case do you make him feel guilty for your failures. Or do you want a man who will make you feel like a failure? Show him his importance to you, give him the basis for believing in himself. Failure to meet needs Because of their upbringing and the stereotypes that were put into it, many girls underestimate men’s feelings, which they also have. both sensual and physical needs are very important for men. If a woman does not satisfy them, then the relationship will be difficult. Everyone needs freedom. Fear of serious relationships among men is a very common occurrence. Having fun with friends and going to the bar are important to many guys. Leave him some personal time, which he can dispose of as he pleases.
Source: Trubadurov.net
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