Office romance and love relationships at work are a ray of sunshine in the gloomy realm of working days. This situation can only be overshadowed by the mysterious future of the duration of the relationship and future career.
Following the rules of safe behavior will help minimize the negative consequences of a relationship at work between two colleagues. The specific nature of an office romance has a number of advantages and disadvantages.
Office romance is a complex psychology
An office romance is the complex psychology of the relationship between two colleagues. An affair with a work colleague hides a large number of unexpected surprises at the turns of life. This is what gives it such an unusual piquancy and intrigue.
The end of such a relationship cannot be predicted. This could be a long-awaited wedding celebration, or a final break. But first things first.
There are 3 options for developing service relationships:
- Mutual sympathy.
- Selfish gain.
- Material enrichment.
Pros and cons of relationships at work
It often happens that daily communication at work smoothly turns into mutual sympathy. Close relationships at work have a number of positive and negative aspects.
When starting to build such contact, you should understand that there will be a lot of gossip, incitement and discontent around you. Not every manager will accept the fact that there are some kind of relationships among his subordinates.
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Therefore, first you should evaluate everything and understand whether you are ready for such a relationship.
Pros:
- Always near.
- Reliable information.
- Control over actions.
- Ongoing support.
- Career growth.
- Having a like-minded person.
There are a lot of disadvantages to such relationships.
Having become familiar with the benefits of an office romance, at first it seems that you can plunge headlong into the pool. But we should not forget that “the coin has two sides” and such relationships have a sufficient number of disadvantages.
Cons of relationships:
- Constant gossip.
- The personal is mixed with work.
- Loss of respect.
- Decreased labor productivity.
- Damaged reputation.
An affair at work with a married woman provides additional inconvenience, also from the presence of a spouse. The same goes for a married man (read how to steal a married man here).
Relationships at work with colleagues, competent communication in everyday life, significantly deteriorate and respect for you is lost. Lack of confidence in the serious continuation of relations, much less their legalization.
In the event of a quarrel, productivity at work decreases significantly, and working together becomes unbearable. And if nothing serious came out of the relationship - a damaged reputation.
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If your feelings or selfish desires are much stronger than all these shortcomings, then you are ready to start and fight for the relationship. This is the work of two colleagues, both on a professional level and in personal experiences. Rules of behavior at work can help you cope with them.
Love affair at work
The morning started as usual: - alarm ringing, shower, feed the cat, take a smoothie to work, drink coffee. Everything went according to the scheme worked out over the years. Lately, nothing had changed in her life, everything was going according to a given algorithm. My husband drove me to work, a dry farewell. She blamed him for her monotonous life, a life in which there are no unexpected joys, no, but they exist but very, very rarely, he was calm, reasonable, and it infuriated her, life was passing away, and every day was the same as the previous one, there was no enthusiasm, fun, there was no happiness, although there was happiness, it was so quiet... Here she is at work, an office in which there was a life of its own with intrigue, gossip, flirting and love. Love, what could she say about love, because she always subordinated love to reason, she believed that the manifestation of feelings is weakness, showing how attached you are to a person is weakness, she did not want to be weak. She was already pretty tired of her job and would have quit long ago, but there was one circumstance - him. He was younger than her, not to say that he was handsome, but charismatic, tall, slender, he was a holiday man, next to him she was charged with positivity, joy for life, ideas. When she saw him, her heart fluttered like a schoolgirl’s, although she didn’t show it, she believed that it was love for him, she wanted to be with him, she wanted his kisses, hugs, to be a part of his life, but she understood that in reality this would never happen. it won’t, but he was her outlet, a fresh breeze in her musty life, and he, did he love her. They knew each other for a very long time, she remembered their first meeting well, he was very young, a graduate of the academy, his eyes burned with the desire to change the whole world, just like that, he had no desire to earn a lot of money, make a career, he lived one hundred percent in society, sometimes it seemed that he had nothing of his own, personal, he was ready to share everything and expected the same from the people around him, he fiercely believed in good and evil. She remembered how he once confessed his love to her, but that was so long ago... - as soon as he came to work, on the very first day he began to show her signs of attention, everything was in a humorous form, sweet compliments, gifts, she happily accepted his advances, they often lingered in the office after work, chatting about everything in the world, then he accompanied her home, everything was very innocent, sweet and gentle, then it seemed to her that it was just friendship, but, at least on her part, his feelings interested her little, and then.....then there was a lot of things that went on time and they somehow moved away from each other, he didn’t get what he wanted, she still had a husband, and now, each of them tried to make it clear that they were still not indifferent to each other, but at the same time, each had their own life. She was waiting for the first step from him, dreaming that at some awkward moment he would be very close, their lips would touch each other......or they would meet by chance in a cafe, she would be alone, he too, conversations, a walk.....but all these were dreams . She didn’t know what he was thinking about, or whether he was thinking about her. It was such a game, for her an attempt to escape from boredom, for him... why he needed it, she didn’t understand, maybe it was true love. The working day began, everything went as usual, letters, orders, orders, contracts, signing, approval, approval..., leaving the next office and in the corridor he was, his heart beat faster, blood rushed to his cheeks, she was glad to see him. In their last meeting, she was rude to him again; she generally really liked communicating with him in a tone of sarcasm. She waved to him, their eyes met and a smile played on their faces, they chatted about nothing, although their eyes told each other much more, everything was going fine and then, inappropriate sarcasm on her part, mockery addressed to him, the answer was a cold, cutting look... They called her, she left, she had to work, and he was distracted by other people, the work began in its usual rhythm, but somewhere deep in her soul she had anger at herself, regret about the words spoken, pain from his gaze and the feeling that something had collapsed, and at that moment she didn’t even care about their relationship, what would happen, most of all she was worried that she had offended a person close to her soul, so near and far, whom she sincerely wished happiness. He had girls, during this time there were both permanent and temporary, he was young and handsome in his own way, and strangely she had no jealousy at all, at these moments she loved him as a brother, perhaps as a son, whom she did not have , and indeed at one time she did not see him as a man, but something changed in him or her and she awoke passion for him, timid, shy, but passion. Perhaps she just wanted new sensations. At work, it was time for lunch, she had no appetite, there was a pain in her chest, she herself suffered from the insult she had inflicted on him. In general, she herself rarely called or wrote to him; she considered it a sign of weakness and did not want to impose herself; doubts about him always lived in her heart. Arriving at a cafe for lunch, eating something and talking about something with colleagues, she said that she had to run errands and went for a walk along the streets of the city, the feeling of guilt and the desire to call him tore her soul to shreds. She walked and walked and already had to go back to work, lunch time was coming to an end, she decided to buy herself a juice, went into the store, stood in line, started looking for a wallet in her bag, and then she heard his voice, he was standing in line in front of her , this is the moment now or later it will be too late. She caught up with him at the exit of the store, touched his hand, asked how he was doing and smiled sweetly at him, followed by a sweet but cold answer. Yes, he was offended, she thought, well, she needs to make amends and perhaps even apologize to him for the first time in her life. You know, she said, sometimes I say something completely different from what I think, and I shouldn’t have told you what I said at all, he was surprised by her words and even pretended that he didn’t understand what she was talking about, but she saw that it flattered him, he was pleased not by the fact of her clumsy apology, but by the fact that his feelings were important to her and she valued their peculiar relationship. He quickly changed the topic of conversation and they chatted about trifles and went to work; the office was waiting for them. They walked and talked about life, about the transience of time, about how they were once so young. He walked next to her, at that moment she so wanted to break that cold glass wall that was between them, she wanted to invade his personal space, to be even closer to him, to feel the smell of his skin, his warmth, but she was too proud and independent enough to take a step, but he seemed to be afraid to touch her, as if he was deliberately keeping his distance, although he calmly hugged other girls, with whom he practically did not know, patted her on the shoulder or took her hand. They came to the office and went to their respective floors and offices, she was pleased with herself and did not regret her apology at all, she realized that sometimes you need to be the first to take steps towards him. For the rest of the working day she thought about him, dreamed, built some kind of castles in the air and could not concentrate on work. A wave of love for him washed over her again, and she drowned in this wave, and with each current wave in her life, she had less and less strength left to resist his charm. They had to go on a business trip for work. She was glad to have the opportunity to spend more time next to him, perhaps even take a walk around a new city; she wanted to remember the old days, feel the flutter of her heart again, forget the everyday routine, be young and carefree again. The status of a married woman did not stop her, because she was not going to do anything reprehensible. They sat next to each other in the car, but behaved like ordinary colleagues between whom there was no light of feelings that were incomprehensible to both of them. We checked into the hotel, she got a double room on the third floor, he checked into the second. The hotel, contrary to her expectations, was not in the city, but on the distant outskirts, surrounded by a forest and a river. They were taken to work and back by car, there was no opportunity to go out for a walk around the city, all that was left was to sit in the room, watch TV and get bored. Evening came, she took a shower, put on pajamas, lay on the bed and wandered through the Internet. He didn’t write, didn’t call, and she couldn’t afford to take the first step, it would destroy her image of a cold, independent woman. Of course, she wanted his attention, to go for a walk with him in the forest, to accidentally snuggle up to him, but no, she was stupidly unshakable in her decision to let the man take the first steps. There was a knock on the door, she thought it was again the noisy company that lived in the next room - who? she asked, “a work colleague,” a voice behind the door answered. The blood rushed to her face, her heart began to flutter, she opened the door, he was standing there, smiling, one hand hidden behind his back - Hello - Hello, how are you? -Okay, can I come in? “Yes, of course, if my appearance in pajamas doesn’t bother you,” she smiled. “No, what are you talking about, there’s something intriguing and intimate in this, a light laugh, I’m coming to you with wine, do you drink red semi-sweet?” An awkward pause, meeting eyes, she smiled - Well, you know, drinking wine in your company is much more interesting than watching TV alone. She felt the tension disappear from him - You know, I was afraid of your reaction to the wine - Well, I thought that you decided to give me a drink, she laughed. His look changed, damn she thought, I hurt him again, how vulnerable he is. She laughed - “It’s a joke, of course,” she said with a sly smile, looking at him. The tension seemed to have subsided. She made sandwiches and opened candy. “We were placed in such a wilderness that if you want to eat, there’s not even anywhere to grab a bite to eat, so I stocked up like a hamster.” She was chatting something, joking, he was a little tense, it was clear that he did not know how to behave with her. In appearance, she was carefree and cheerful, but inside, she was lost, disarmed, and did not know what would happen next and had not yet decided for herself how ready she was to cross the line. He poured wine - Well, let's drink to this evening - Let's start with the evening, he laughed. They sat, drank wine, clips were broadcast on TV, it was a cozy atmosphere. She sat opposite him, he was enthusiastically telling her something, and she looked at his face, saw all his flaws, she really wanted to feel his warmth and smell, to touch his skin with her skin, but he just sat and talked about his grandiose plans, at some point it even seemed to her that he was absolutely not interested in her. She was tired of sitting, she got up and went to the window, he also stood up and approached her, she didn’t miss the moment, took his arm and pressed herself against him - everything is strange - what’s strange, he asked, kissed the top of her head and bowed his head to hers . -nothing......she answered. He was silent, so was she, and now she didn’t care that he was silent and didn’t care what he was thinking about, she stood clinging to him and it seemed to her that the puzzle of her life had come together, if we put aside all her life circumstances, everything what prevented them from being together, everything was amazing and so calm, at that moment nothing worried or bothered her, he was nearby and it seemed like the planet stopped for that moment and it was no longer they who were looking out the window, but the window was looking at them. There was a knock on the door, she shuddered, the first thought was that they had been caught, the veil of happiness had fallen. She went to the door and asked who was there, it turned out to be her neighbors from the next room, they asked for a corkscrew and invited her to join them, without opening the door, she said that she was sleeping and she didn’t have a corkscrew. -Aren't you scared with such neighbors? -well, what to do!? - I wouldn’t want to leave you alone... She felt a note of anxiety in his voice - if you want, you can stay, and we can chat some more. Under the influence of wine, she walked up to him, hugged him and laid her head on his chest. The distance between them was closing, she was liberated and decided not to hide her feelings for him, she knew that such an evening, this opportunity to be alone with him would probably never happen again and she just wanted to enjoy his company. - and where will I sleep, he asked - well, it’s a double room, there’s a second separate bed, she said smiling - take the wine, let’s go show me your project, I think it would be more convenient to sit here, she said, pointing to the bed They sat down next to each other with each other, she pressed herself close to him and he began to show her his developed project on the tablet - you know, I hesitated for a long time to come to you, and then for a long time I doubted whether to take the wine, I didn’t know how you would react - so what, you like my reaction - yes, I feel good with you now and I’m very glad that I decided to knock on your door - a wonderful evening, I sometimes dreamed of such an evening, the opportunity to be alone with you, so to speak, in an informal atmosphere, to remember everything that happened and dreamed about it , which didn’t happen, but I didn’t think that this evening I would be in pajamas, she laughed, you know there is so much silence between us, we are silent and only our eyes communicate with each other - you’re right, but sometimes words are unnecessary and then, you know what I love you, I told you about this more than once, maybe it sounded like a joke, but I have never said anything more truthfully in my life, and I couldn’t, I didn’t even have and don’t have the right to say it seriously, but that’s not because I I’m lying, but because I have nothing to offer you, I love you, but I’m not sure that I want family life, this measured calm. I cannot promise you one hundred percent fidelity, although I love only you, but I need freedom, freedom of life, I don’t want to report where I am, what I am and who I am with. Don't get me wrong. I am very comfortable with you, I miss you endlessly, meetings with you inspire me, you are dear to me, I need you, I need you very much..... She moved even closer to him, touched his forehead with her forehead, their noses met, and they looked at each other for a long time - you know, I’m glad that you started this conversation, because I want you to know that I love you, love can be different, and I completely agree with you, I also have nothing to give you, and I think we don’t need to be together, live together, I don’t know how our relationship will develop further, maybe you will meet your love and start a family, and believe me, I will be happy for you, because I love you, you are very dear to me , and you see that I give up some moral laws in order to be with you, you have the right to condemn me, but I’m tired of living by the rules established by society. He smiled, hugged her and said that they were two fools
They sat hugging, he kissed her head, stroked her hair, they themselves did not understand what they were talking about. At that moment, the main thing was not conversations, but those sensations, feelings that surrounded them and in which they drowned headlong. She didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, where it would all lead and how it would end, she understood perfectly well that now it might be the end and nothing else would happen, but now she didn’t want to think about it, for the first time in her life she didn’t plan anything, she didn’t make any wishes, didn’t dream, she enjoyed what was happening now, at the moment. Listening to his chatter, she quietly fell asleep. It was a good morning. Waking up from the alarm, she saw that he was sleeping next to her.
He woke up after her, smiled, kissed her on the cheek - I’ll go to my place, I need to get ready for work, you can come get me when you go down - okay, she said. He left, the fairy tale in which she spent the evening and night went with him, reality returned with its problems. She cleaned herself up and had just enough time for breakfast. She went down to the second floor, knocked on his room, and even before leaving her room, she decided to behave with him now as if yesterday evening and night had never happened. -colleague, are you ready, let’s go for breakfast, the galleys are waiting. The door was not locked, strange, she thought. “Comrade, are you ready,” she said entering the room. He stood with his back to her and buttoned his shirt - yes, of course, I’m ready, let’s go - let’s go, she turned to the door - wait, wait a minute - I didn’t know you were such a creep, she said, turning to face him. He stood next to her, he was tall and her eyes rested on his chin, he smelled of freshness and radiated joy, even rather happiness. -you know, yesterday, when I went to see you, I wanted to talk to you about us, I wanted you to understand me and at the same time not push me away - yes, I understood everything and accept everything as it is and don’t plan anything, let everything “It will be as it will be,” she said, interrupting him, “but yesterday I wanted to do, or rather have long wanted to do, one thing, but I just don’t have the courage to decide to do it.” He fell silent and looked at her with loving eyes, their faces were very close to each other. He’s strange, why is he playing with me like that, she thought, like a cat with a mouse, oh well, let him play, I don’t care, I want to do what I want. She rose on tiptoe and lightly touched his lips with her lips, it was as if he had been struck by an electric current, he twitched slightly, but did not recoil, he pressed her to him, pressed his lips to hers and kissed her for a long time with tender passion, unbridled desire. She was completely in his power, he took possession of her completely, nothing depended on her, and she didn’t need to do anything, she had already taken the first step. Time stopped, there was no support under her feet, she had a feeling of complete weightlessness and the power of another person over her, and the worst thing was that she did not want to resist, on the contrary, she was glad to obey. After the kiss, they stood still clinging to each other, she was bursting with happiness and guilt. - let’s go, we’re late for breakfast and the car will leave without us, it’ll be really fun. She turned around and left the room, she deliberately did not look him in the eyes, did not let him know that she was immensely happy, she left him there with mixed feelings. Let him think and suffer, she thought, now I’ll play with him a little, otherwise she has become too accessible and open, pleased with herself on half-woolen legs, she went down to the first floor to the car in order to go to work. What a devil, he thought, a wild beast, playing with me and my feelings, although yesterday she was so sweet, tender and sincere, and this kiss now, she’s driving me crazy, I need to forget her, just forget, but how good it was yesterday and this kiss now, she wanted it herself or she just provoked me, it doesn’t matter, it was cool, but I need to calm down all my organs and go to the car. When he got into the car, she was sitting in the back seat and chatting with her colleague. What a devil, she’s already making eyes at someone else and isn’t even paying attention to me, he thought. He’s nervous, he doesn’t know if he did the right thing and he gave himself away, he loves me madly, what other people did he talk about yesterday, silly, he’s mine, only mine, she thought, while not forgetting to chat with her work colleague. The car took them to work, the day went on as usual, but what would happen in the evening, she probably thought nothing, he won’t come, I’m forbidden to him, I’m married. How to drink in the evening, go to a bar or go to her, but why......, she is married.... The business trip ended, he no longer came to her room, he became so alienated and distant. They communicated like ordinary colleagues, even colder; he didn’t joke with her, didn’t stay alone, didn’t even go to lunch with them. Looking now at his attitude towards her, she already doubted whether it was that evening or whether it was that morning. She was not angry with him, there was no resentment, she understood everything perfectly and was even unconsciously grateful to him for such behavior. What could they have next, nothing, absolutely nothing. She had a husband, she had obligations, moral principles. Continue to kiss and sleep in an embrace like teenagers, but this is funny, they are not children, they are adults and should be able to make decisions, but in this case no one wanted to take responsibility. During their meeting, they agreed on everything, everything was said very clearly and precisely. What else was she waiting for, a fairy tale with a happy ending, in which all problems would be solved by themselves and she would live happily, live happily....she didn’t even know who she wanted to live happily with, who she would choose. She pretended that everything was fine, she was not cold or friendly with him, she behaved absolutely smoothly. She didn’t look for meetings with him, didn’t stop her gaze on him, didn’t try to touch him, why did she think, I agree with his decision, maybe it’s the only correct one, it should be so. Whatever happened, perhaps this evening will repeat itself, when one of them becomes completely unbearable, when someone is very bored or needs the shoulder of either a friend or who knows who. The main thing was that she knew that she had him, even if he didn’t belong entirely to her, but if she called him, he would come, hug him and say that everything was fine, this faith and feeling of his love gave her joy in life. Let him be there, far from her, let him hug and kiss others, but in his heart there is forever her, and only her corner. But although he is a fool, we could spend this time together, perhaps even get tired of each other, or quarrel, which happened very often and then, perhaps, life would become easier. She still followed him on social networks, did not let him out of her head, he settled in her thoughts, she wanted to know what he was doing, where he went, who he slept with, and it was not jealousy, but a desire for control. He was afraid of her, afraid of his feelings, he was scared, he felt that in that kiss he practically “died”, he knew that one more communication with her, and God forbid, her kiss, and he would lose himself, be dependent, won't be able to refuse it. A thin thread separated him from the abyss under her name. Perhaps he would like to step into this abyss, live with her, be with her, love her openly and declare to the whole world that she is his, but what would he give her, or maybe she doesn’t want anything from me, maybe she wants this uncertain and reckless life, what if it doesn’t, what if nothing works out for us and it turns out that I will ruin her life and she will have neither her husband nor me, can I take on such responsibility, maybe I should go into the shadows and watch from the outside looking after her and her life, to be there when she needs help, not to ruin what she has now and to be able to be by her side in difficult times. It’s a difficult choice to choose happiness now with me, without a definite future, or a quiet life with quiet happiness for her, perhaps she will give birth to a child and then our lives will completely diverge but will go in parallel, because I will not be able to leave her completely. She is sweet, gentle, who am I for her, a toy out of boredom or love, but what about my husband, everything is so confused and our evening conversation did not clarify anything for me, I was even more confused, although perhaps she also misunderstood me, but this a look, her touch, a kiss, of course, perhaps all this is a game, but there is something in them that makes the heart skip a beat and makes you want to overthrow the peaks, this is something that cannot be played, it comes from the heart, perhaps I am deeply mistaken, I am engaged in self-deception, but I think in her heart there is a place for me, albeit the smallest, but the most tender. Without saying a word, they made perhaps the only correct decision, but the key word here is possible. Most likely, if they wanted to be together, then their happiness would not last long, perhaps just a little, but they would be happy, they would live, it is possible that they would live happily ever after... how much in life depends on the choice of the decision made. Evening, an ordinary weekday evening, she is sitting on the phone, her husband is playing nearby on the computer without noticing her, and she is sitting and looking at his new photos on social networks, he is sitting in his apartment on the other side of the city and looking at her photo, they are sad and they miss each other, their hearts clench with longing, but they made the only right choice.
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How to keep romance at work and not ruin your relationship
The desire to meet your soulmate and preserve feelings for life is inherent in almost every person. And if, after all, your relationships at work are not meetings without obligations, but really the foundation of your future life together, then it’s worth fighting for them and allowing something or someone to destroy them.
Secrets of behavior at work:
Do not advertise your relationship under any circumstances. Maintain a neutral distance in the group. As part of the conspiracy, it is not recommended to come to work together.
