Raising children in adolescence

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The transition period is different for every girl. Some young ladies do not experience any difficulties, while their parents experience unnecessary worries and fears. But there are girls who experience severe stress due to internal and external changes. The result may be withdrawal or rebellion, depression or increased activity.

In any case, the question of adolescence in girls and how parents should behave is not an easy one even for experienced psychologists. However, some valid recommendations do exist.

How to behave with a child in adolescence: the right steps towards a teenage daughter

• 1. Smooth transition. There is no need to think that a certain hour “X” will come when girls begin adolescence and the daughter begins to change dramatically. Most likely, this will manifest itself smoothly, both physiologically and mentally. But it is important not to miss these moments. Mom needs to talk to her daughter in advance about topics such as growing breasts, menstruation, and acne. For an adult woman, these are common occurrences, but a girl can be very frightened when she discovers such signs of growing up. Also, both parents should notice whether the girl begins to cry for unknown reasons, gets nervous, overtired, etc. These are signs of the beginning of adolescence in girls.
• 2. Sincere interest. During this period, the girl begins to perceive even minor problems as real personal tragedies. Someday the family will be able to laugh about this together, but not now. During this difficult period, you need to be sincerely interested in the desires and experiences of your child.

• 3. Support and support. This rule follows from the previous one. Knowing about your daughter’s experiences and problems, you need to lend her a shoulder, console her, promptly, and protect her. No one can do this better than parents. If there is no such support, the girl will have to look for it on the side. Then, there is no guarantee that bad people will not take advantage of it.
• 4. Own experience. There is nothing wrong with telling your daughter about the problems that bothered her mom and dad at the same age. You shouldn’t say: “I wasn’t like that at your age.” It’s much better to admit: “You know, I was/was very similar to you...”. This will help the girl understand that she is not alone.
• 5. Acceptance of change. The parents themselves need to come to terms with the fact that their girl will no longer be the same as before. But it won't make her any worse. The little girl is just getting ready for adulthood. This is the main thing that parents need to remember during their daughter’s adolescence.

How long does puberty last for girls?

The duration of adolescence is individual for each girl; on average, this difficult period ends by the age of 16. It most clearly begins at about 10-11 years old, when the active production of female hormones begins in the girl’s body. It is on this basis that its complete restructuring begins, in conjunction with preparation for motherhood.

Girls grow up very quickly; moreover, girls in adolescence are usually not only larger, but also taller than boys their age. The girls' bodies acquire sexual characteristics and simply become rounder. At the same time, against the backdrop of the changes that are taking place, girls develop a lot of complexes - they begin to suffer not only from acne, but also from an ugly nose, short legs, and other far-fetched problems.

Taking into account all these factors, regardless of how long the transition period for girls continues, parents need to take into account all the features of this period in order to prevent trauma to the child’s psyche. Therefore, all conversations, especially on sensitive topics, should be sensitive. After all, the girl’s condition can suddenly become depressive, in which case she will have to consult with a psychologist who will deal with the resolution of age-related problems that have arisen.

What should parents absolutely not do when interacting with a teenager?

• 1. Pressure and criticize. This is the worst thing parents of teenagers can do. No matter how badly a girl behaves in the opinion of her mother, father or teachers, it will not be possible to achieve improvement through excessive pressure and criticism. This will only worsen the situation and destroy the child’s self-esteem.
• 2. Prohibit. At this time, girls tend to do the opposite. The more strictly parents prohibit their daughter from smoking, drinking alcohol and “making love,” the more she wants to break the prohibitions.

It is much better to tell her about the consequences. For example, work on the weekend in a shelter for drug addicts, alcoholics or young single mothers.

• 3. Let everything take its course. But the opposite behavior will not bring fruitful results. The tactic “Let him drink wine at home, not in the gateway” can also lead to alcoholism.
• 4. Set a bad example. To instill good habits in your child and protect him from everything bad, you must first take care of yourself. Parents should not smoke, drink alcohol, eat junk food, or abuse each other or their children. Then the daughter will have an idea of ​​correct behavior and a happy family.
• 5. Use violence. Whatever a teenage girl does, she should never be beaten. Never!

It is generally accepted that adolescence for girls is a difficult period in the life of a child and his parents.
But, you can forget about stereotypes and remember that this is the time when a girl turns into a woman. Why not take this as another happy period in the life of a family, when its adult members can support their child, show him their love and understanding. There is no doubt that such an attitude will cause a positive reaction from the teenager and will smooth out many difficulties. Did you like the article? Share with your friends:

My son is going through adolescence - what should he do and where should he go?

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26.01.14

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Your son has entered adolescence - what to do and what not to do in such a situation? How not to alienate a boy, and at the same time support him in this difficult period of life?

• Psychological signs of adolescence
• How to keep a teenage boy interested

It seems that you are talking to your son the same way as before, but in response - an incomprehensible outburst of aggression? Does he “get smart” a lot, has become less affectionate with you, in addition, his figure has begun to change, and not always in proportion, his voice is breaking, and unexpected mood swings have appeared?

It seems that your boy has begun the so-called transitional age, the signs of which appear both at the level of physical changes and in mental and emotional terms. It’s not in vain that we mentioned physiology, since initially it is what influences mood swings and changes in character.

Psychological signs of adolescence

As parents of a boy over 10-11 years old, you sometimes unexpectedly discover the following points:

• An emerging, and sometimes quite alarming, interest in one’s own appearance.
  Previously, your son rarely even went to the mirror, except to make a face, but now he can look at himself almost longer than a girl, and subjects himself to critical analysis - either his nose is not the same, or his hairstyle is not the same. And the skin can present surprises, like acne or pimples. Do not make fun of them under any circumstances: “Why are you spinning around in front of the mirror like a girl?” It’s better to demonstrate your readiness for dialogue: “Do you want to change your hairstyle? Which one do you like best?";
• Outbursts of rudeness and aggression towards parents and other adults. This is quite unpleasant, and it is also not advisable to let it take its course, but remember - no matter how funny it may be to you, it now seems to the boy that no one has ever had such serious problems as he has.;
• Closedness, reluctance to discuss certain topics with parents. The son’s authorities are changing - now they can become older or simply more experienced friends, adults from the outside, whose views may differ from those accepted in the family. Take this moment very carefully: it is important for the teenager to understand that you support him and are ready to listen. Then there is less danger that he will find himself in “bad” company or allow himself to be manipulated.

How to keep a teenage boy interested

One of the correct answers to the question about adolescence, what to do with your son together and what to do with him, will be the following. A very suitable activity for a boy at this age is various sports. In addition to harmonious physical development, they provide an opportunity to gain self-confidence, and simply experience the joy of an interesting activity - of course, if this happens at the call of the soul, and not to please mom and dad. Although, if a child could study, but fear prevents him from

This is quite unpleasant, and it is also not advisable to let it take its course, but remember - no matter how funny it may be to you, it now seems to the boy that no one has ever had such serious problems as he has.;

• Closedness, reluctance to discuss certain topics with parents. The son’s authorities are changing - now they can become older or simply more experienced friends, adults from the outside, whose views may differ from those accepted in the family. Take this moment very carefully: it is important for the teenager to understand that you support him and are ready to listen. Then there is less danger that he will find himself in “bad” company or allow himself to be manipulated.

How to keep a teenage boy interested

One of the correct answers to the question about adolescence, what to do with your son together and what to do with him, will be the following. A very suitable activity for a boy at this age is various sports. In addition to harmonious physical development, they provide an opportunity to gain self-confidence, and simply experience the joy of an interesting activity - of course, if this happens at the call of the soul, and not to please mom and dad. Although, if a child could exercise, but fear, embarrassment or laziness interferes, it is quite acceptable to support him, show him what he has already learned compared to the time when he did not go to training, and how this affected his appearance and health.

It’s great if a guy at this age has his own hobby. And do not rush to label him and show your dissatisfaction if he is not doing what you would like. In the end, no one can say exactly what awaits each person in the future, and what skills may be useful.

Also, do not forget to offer “male” activities together with parents or older relatives that would be interesting to a teenager - hiking, fishing, bicycle repair, and so on. All this will strengthen the boy’s relationship with his elders and help him feel like an adult, responsible man.

If your son has entered adolescence, what to do about it can and should worry parents. You can easily find answers to your questions in a large amount of literature devoted to this topic. However, remember that the child is yours, and no one else’s, and no one else is as aware as you are of his character, what he likes or doesn’t like, and how he will perceive this or that situation. A person is not a part stamped according to GOST, so no one has yet canceled the individual approach.

Features of the transitional age of 10-11 years

At 10-11 years old, your offspring is no longer small, but not yet a teenager. This is a very difficult period, both in human development and in the relationship between the child and parents. At this age, not only child psychology changes, but also physiology.

It is noteworthy that the period before puberty, namely 10-11 years, does not proceed the same way for everyone: some cope independently, and quite well, while others need the help of a psychologist who will help them survive this difficult period.

PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES IN A 10-11 YEAR OLD CHILD

Every parent should know exactly what physiological changes
will affect their offspring.

Firstly, at 10-11 years of age, growth accelerates; children often become “lanky” due to the sharp growth of the skeleton and limbs. Secondly, the mass of muscles increases, which, however, are not yet able to withstand prolonged stress. Therefore, it is important to control the time of physical activity and rest.

Thirdly, external signs of gender are becoming more and more noticeable (rounding of the pelvis in girls, changes in the appearance of the genitals, etc.).

Many children begin to develop complexes due to the changes occurring in their body, hence the appearance of isolation, irritability and reluctance to listen to adults.

CHARACTER OF A CHILD AT 10-11 YEARS OLD

in character
, sometimes not for the better: children are often distracted from the educational process, behave defiantly, and react sharply to the slightest remark. At the same time, schoolchildren now need more time to complete homework, and the reason for this does not lie in their volume.

Parents must be prepared for the fact that the child is about to begin to rebel against their control, and indeed against everything that he previously agreed with. If you go too far somewhere or, conversely, give in, the loss of parental authority is not far off.

The peculiarity of age is that the opinion of peers (and other adults) becomes more important for the child than the parent’s. And now the girl will imitate the popular coquette from the class, and not her mother. Therefore, if you begin to openly criticize your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend, rest assured that your yesterday’s child will do exactly the opposite out of a sense of contradiction.

Therefore, it is necessary to criticize a child’s friends very delicately without any prohibitions. If you don’t like one of your peers, it’s enough to draw your child’s attention to the negative qualities of his friend, which do not quite correspond to his age or standards of behavior.

You should not try to forcefully tie your child to you; you will have to come to terms with the fact that your “little bear” will now move further and further away from you. But you shouldn’t just let the situation take its course and deprive your child of even a small amount of control. All problems must be resolved through negotiations, and not through threats and aggression. Teach your child to cooperate with adults, tactfully express their opinions, without feeling afraid of them. After all, it is at this age that the foundation for the future relationship between you and your child is laid, and it is unlikely that in five years you will want to face even greater problems.

10-11 years old is an age at which it is very easy to fall under the influence of “bad people,” so pay attention to the slightest changes in your child’s behavior. After all, it is better to prevent trouble than to reproach yourself for inaction later.