All my readers are looking forward to new episodes of the Happy Series based on the love stories of my graduates. And today I will tell you about the amazing Tanya Ward, who got married and left for England despite the fact that she is a mother of many children.
Here's how Tanya herself says it:
“My story is the story of a mother of three children who decided not to seek happiness anymore, but was the first in the group to receive a marriage proposal from an Englishman.”
How did we meet
When on the Internet Tanya was looking for an answer to where, with whom she could be happy and how to find her soul mate, she met me quite by accident. I am sure that when you are looking for something, you will definitely be attracted to what you need at the moment. Her problems were that she could not communicate with men from dating sites, because she was afraid that they might say what they wanted about themselves, and not what they are, and seem to be anyone (and there were such people there too). But in the end, she realized that she had to let go of the situation in order to open up and find something truly worthwhile.
How to get married with a child? Bride with child. How to get married a second time already having a child?
Have a child, how to get married?
Is it possible, is it realistic for a woman with a child to get married? You are a woman who dreams of happiness. Perhaps you already have one happiness - your baby - a child. And you dream about your other half.
Grandmothers who “ventilate” on a bench, at the entrance, gossip about you, ooh and ahh, that you won’t get married, that you’ve spoiled your kinder, that no one will look at someone like you. They just want to talk. And why are you listening to their “nonsense”?! Let them say what they want. What do you care about that?
How to get married a second time already having a child? Bride with child. How to get married with a child?
A lot happens, a lot happens. I know one girl who got pregnant at the age of sixteen. The child's father was sent to prison (for theft). Anya (the girl’s “little” mother) raises him (the child) almost herself. Her mother and grandmother help her a little. Anya works and finds time for club entertainment. And with pleasure, he gets to know the boys - he lights up. She never says that the miracle that was photographed with her is her daughter Polinka. She tells all her fans and suitors that this girl is her sister or niece. Of course, you can’t do this, because sooner or later everything will be revealed anyway. But Anya is afraid that the guys, having learned about the existence of their daughter, will abandon both her and the baby. Normal people won’t refuse.
Have a baby. Of course, no one can replace your own father. Even if the baby’s “new dad” is super ideal and loves his mommy very much. When the child grows up, he will feel that he is not a father, but a stranger. If the child also has a stepbrother or sister, the situation will worsen. Don't be scared: there are different men. Of course, there are also heartless men, but not all of them are like that.
How to get married with a child? — A child should not be a hindrance or an obstacle in the relationship between a woman and a man. Children are the flowers of life, for whom you want to live. There is no need to say bad things about them.
In general, you will get married. A woman with a child is not a stigma. If someone does not share this opinion, that’s their problem! You will be faced with a choice between your own child and a man - choose, of course, your blood.
Answers to the question : “how to get married if you have a child from someone else?”:
- When you meet someone, don’t hide the fact that you have a son or daughter. Relationships cannot begin with deception. Deception is a bad and ignoble thing.
- Take care of yourself, despite the fact that something is not quite right with your condition and mood.
- Believe in yourself and that you are beautiful and can still attract the attention of many men.
- Do not Cry. Crying is optional. There is no practical benefit from water and streams from the eyes.
- Do not complain. Don’t tell a man that you are poor and unhappy, that it is very difficult for you to raise a child alone.
- Don’t be very intrusive in his eyes: when you tell him the whole truth, wait, don’t call him yourself, give him time to think.
- Never try to call your daughter or your son by his father’s name. A man might think that you can't get over your ex.
- Do not compare him with your ex in front of him: your “real” one will perceive such a comparison extremely negatively and with anger.
- If you invite a man to visit, prepare for his “welcome” to the apartment as it should: put away the things of the “past” man so that they do not interfere with your romance and do not allow bad thoughts to creep in.
- Don't be afraid to ask him about his attitude towards children. Loves children - great. In general, it’s strange that there are those who may not like babies.
How to get married with a child? - If there is love, he and your child will love. He will love you as if he were your own child. He'll get used to it. And to the thought, and to the fact that everything turned out this way. And he will not give up on you just because you are not alone in life.
Friends who say that no one needs you with a child are not real friends. They are envious, misunderstanding people who have not been very lucky in life. Especially in relationships with men.
Stopped looking for my destiny
Each man seemed deceptively wonderful to her, “the one”, her head was ready to burst from information, and then, in a state of such extreme stress, she suddenly makes a decision: “ I DON’T WANT ANYTHING”
. She deleted her profiles from all dating sites, especially since my course was already ending and she felt a painful need to take a break. But fate took a different turn: on April 2, she went to the site where she was registered to delete her profile, because in response to hundreds of letters her heart was silent and did not skip a beat for that one and only one. And then Tanya got hooked on a long letter from a man, which, unlike all the others, sent out by everyone to everyone, was addressed specifically to her from the first words.
“Why did I answer my future husband’s letter?”
He amazed me by the fact that, having opened my data, which contained just a little bit about me, he told everything about himself and asked a question:
Am I ready to become not just his woman and lover, but also his life partner??
“I replied that “time will tell,” which spurred him on even more. I immediately sent Yulia Lanske both of our photographs, she looked and said: “You even have the same look.” This inspired me to stay on the site, continue to communicate with him, and that same evening he asked me to give him my phone number, because it was very important to hear my voice.”
I simply admire her husband, his perseverance and desire to be with this woman. When he decided that he wanted to be with her, and by any means and with his own steps he achieved this. He had all the grooves in place and at that moment he realized that he did not want to miss her, that he even began to learn the language of his chosen one. They communicated daily via Skype, but the tool with which they got to know each other was letters through Google Translator.
Their relationship developed rapidly:
“As soon as I sent my information, the phone rang. Since I am an auditory learner, his voice captivated me. I felt how strong, wise and intelligent a man he was, stable in all respects. And I told myself that it was quite possible that he was “the one” for me. The problem was that in English I could only say “Hello!” and “bye-bye” and my future husband became my foreign teacher, but our first language was a smile and sign language on Skype.”
How to get married with children
Most likely, you have noticed more than once that other women are lucky with their gentlemen. Even those who were left with a child after a divorce get married again, meeting men who are ready to take responsibility, but not you. If this is true, stop constantly comparing yourself to others. No matter what others have been able to do, focus on yourself. Don’t waste precious time and energy once again feeling sorry for yourself and saying “oh, what a pity, I’m unlucky again.” You need to study other people's experiences only if you want to take some positive aspects from them. In all other cases, it is not only useless, but also harmful, because while you are looking at how others live, life passes you by. Remember, everyone has their own life and their own mission on earth. You can't repeat someone else's path. If you want to get married with a child, think about how to do it, and don't watch others do it.
Vegetable diet for weight loss
Very often you can hear from representatives of the fair sex that all men are not at all as good as they would like. This attitude prevents you from seeing among the stronger sex someone who can make you happy. After all, such a mood is accompanied not just by words, but by the desire to find yet more flaws in the men around them, instead of merits. And when the search does not end in success, and there is no other way, since there are no ideal people, all that remains is to say once again that life is not a success and all the good ones are either busy or they don’t exist at all. And the point here is that it is common to talk more about a failed personal life, loneliness and the absence of real men.
Few people say that they are happy, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention to themselves, or to hurt those who, unfortunately, could not get married successfully. We are used to struggling with everything and everyone, rather than enjoying what we have achieved. But when it comes to personal life, this does not help, but only hinders.
There are real men and there are not so few of them, but their description has nothing to do with what many women want them to be. That's why they are representatives of the stronger sex, to be different. They don't have to change for every woman. Each of them is an individual and demanding that everyone meet the standard is, at the very least, stupid. If you try to “fit” a man to some general standards, then over time any man who is nearby will begin to feel the negative attitude coming from the woman. And few people want to be with her.
Stop stigmatizing all men, look for positive qualities in them, get to know them, try to understand. Your sincere interest will not go unnoticed. There is nothing a man wants to feel more than attention to himself and the opportunity to talk about what is in his soul, knowing that he will not be betrayed and will always be understood.
Change your attitude towards the very concept of “a woman with a child”; most likely, deep down in your soul, you yourself do not believe that men will want to marry you if they have children. So take care of the internal settings first. Stop believing everything they tell you. Learn to analyze what you hear. Look around you and listen to your soul. Have you never heard that women with children get married not much less often than single women? There are no barriers to love, and if you are unlucky enough to meet the one and only for the first time, then having a child will in no way prevent this meeting from taking place, no matter how old you are.
Photo: how to get married with a child
Treat children not as a hindrance, but as a gift. After all, watching you, how you behave with your children, how much effort you put into making them feel happy, a real man will immediately note to himself how responsible, caring, kind and ready you are for family life. This makes it even easier for him to understand what kind of mother you will become for his children. Anyone who is ready for family life will not be afraid of the woman he loves having children.
To get married with a child, it is very important to really want it, then you won’t want to waste any more time worrying about a failed marriage. Whatever has happened has passed. The past cannot be changed, but the present and future can be changed. Don't view your divorce or being single for a long time as something terrible and tragic. Things happen in life that are much scarier and harder. Treat this as another experience that will help in the future. After all, having analyzed why it didn’t come to marriage, or why the marriage couldn’t be saved, you will understand what not to do in a relationship with a man. And if you got married because you needed it, and not because you felt love for your ex-husband, you will all the more realize that accepting a marriage proposal is vitally important only from someone you love with all your heart.
If the choice turned out to be unsuccessful, and over time, family life destroyed love, let this be a lesson that feelings are very important to protect, nurture and cherish, without allowing some selfish motives to interfere with building personal relationships. Learn from your previous marriage, note for yourself what not to do and how to behave with a man, and get ready to meet your future husband.
And so that future family life does not turn into a battlefield, you will have to make compromises, and not unquestioningly listen to men or, on the contrary, try to force him to live your way. All this knowledge will help you save your marriage when you meet your love.
Photo: how to get married with a child
“I want to fly to you”
The second of April was his first letter and phone call, communication on Skype, and exactly five days later he asks Tanya a question: “ how and when can he fly to her?”
She answered without giving any specific understanding of her desire, not “
come, I’m waiting, I’ll be glad to see you,”
no - she wrote that there are 5-6 flights a day from Moscow to her city. Tanya understood that if a man had a desire, he would find an opportunity, find out flights, and arrange a transfer. He turned out to be not the kind of person who speaks and does not do, but the kind of person who first does and only then speaks.
I remember that my course with Tanya ended in early April, and during the May holidays her future husband had already flown to visit her. At the end of June she was already given a ring, and in August she took the test for a fiancee visa. A year later I was already in England at her wedding. It was very difficult for Tanya, the only support was her daughters, her friend and me:
“The English wedding took place in a very nervous state for me, many suspected me of being a Russian fraudster who was up to something and captured their man along with her three children. Not only did I feel this, but I was psychologically and emotionally pressured by this negative energy from those around me, and besides, I didn’t know English.”
At the wedding celebration, I was struck to the core by one moment: when my group filled out a form during class, no one was able to do it the first time, because they had to seriously look inside themselves and write down their entire nature. Tanya was no exception, and when she got to the point where she described her strengths and achievements, she came up with such a huge list that I just took off my hat. And then the wedding, the husband stands up, takes the microphone and says: “Dear guests, I want to introduce my wife to you.”
and she tells everything exactly what she wrote about herself, and that’s how he saw her.
How to get married with a child
It just so happened that the marriage turned out to be unhappy, everything didn’t turn out the way we wanted. And so, the love boat is broken, and you row to your new happiness. And you are not alone in the boat, but with a child.
Is it realistic to get married with a child?
I'll tell you the story of one of my friends. O. was having a hard time with the divorce, and when the emotional wounds healed slightly, she went in search of a new “prince.” An attempt to start an office romance was unsuccessful. O. did not give up and moved to dating sites. At first everything went well. Interested men wrote to her, and O. began going on dates. However, all the “princes” were warped when they found out that the woman had a child. One of the princes turned out to be straightforward and, without mincing words, voiced the version that O. is “a predator who dreams of putting her offspring on his neck.” After these revelations, the man left the coffee shop without even bothering to pay for his coffee (not only was he a boor, but he also turned out to be a greedy man:).
Then O. became acquainted with the terms RSP (divorce with a trailer), learned that she was “not of standard”, “not liquid”, and her sweet 4-year-old daughter was nothing more than an “appendage”. Needless to say, it’s not very pleasant. The already low self-esteem was buried deeply and for a long time. O. decided that it was destined for her to live without a man, she resigned herself and stopped searching for love. She plunged headlong into work, became interested in yoga, and began to pay more attention to her daughter. And, lo and behold! At one of the hatha yoga seminars, I met a man who perceived both her and the child not as a punishment, but as a gift of fate. Now O. laughingly recalls his “princes”: one is unprepossessing, another is a mama’s boy, the third is a quiet alcoholic. And she can’t believe that she once took the words of these not very smart men to heart.
See also: CORRECT COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR mother-in-law So is it realistic to get married with a child? Undoubtedly. Formulate for yourself what kind of man you would like to see next to you. And let go of your desire. Stop rushing around and desperately looking for HIM in everyone you meet. He will appear in your life in due time, but for now, take care of yourself, your development, your child. You can be happy without a man! And stop believing people who claim that a woman without a husband, but with a child, is by definition unhappy. Enjoy your freedom, your opportunities - you will remember these golden days when you are in a new marriage
