Why women don't want to get married

Why are most girls so eager to get married as soon as possible? What are the main reasons for this desire?

Every girl from an early age dreams of a handsome prince, reads romance novels and imagines her future chosen one, strives to be as beautiful as possible in order to immediately blind her betrothed and make him fall in love with her forever, to be his only lady in his heart, unique and the most beautiful. But many girls also wonder: what awaits them in married life, what are its true charms? In this article I will give you the 10 most common reasons why girls decide to create an official union with a man! This is why you, dear girls, want to get married so much:

1. If you have met the very man with whom you would like to live your whole life, fall asleep and wake up in the same bed, if you are confident in him and are ready to give him all of yourself - feel free to transfer the relationship to official status! Keep the change.

2. By the way, the “position” of a wife itself sounds much more pleasant and specific than “just a girl,” a common-law wife, and especially a cohabitant (what a vile word!). A wife is also a status, isn’t it?

3. All your friends are already married, but you are not? This is a mess! We urgently need to make up for our positions! This may sound stupid, but this one is true?)

4. You already really want a doll and definitely one that looks like him! It seems to you that it’s high time to have a child, but you don’t want to do it outside of an official relationship.

5. And your future husband also has a beautiful, sonorous surname and you want to try it on yourself as soon as possible. And, of course, you want your common children to bear his last name.

6. You really like your husband's relatives. With them you will feel even more confident in life. They will always help with everything and will definitely come to the aid of the young family!

7. You want to be the queen of the house, you want home comfort, family holidays; you love to cook and want to feed your whole family delicious food. You are a true homemaker, you have no price! You are a golden man and your man should find out about it as soon as possible!

8. You are tired of solving all the problems and issues that you encounter along the path of life alone! You want to have a real ally, support, a person who will help you overcome all adversity, who will always help you out, calm you down and warm you with his care.

9. You strive for financial well-being, but perhaps things haven’t worked out for you yet, but you really want to live the “Hollywood life”... You definitely need a spacious apartment (or better yet a house - why waste time on trifles!) with a stylish design, with the latest technology... A red car and the most fashionable clothes and relaxation, relaxation, relaxation on the sea, sea, sea. Of course, it’s better to realize your “modest” plans with your sweetheart. No comments.

10. You want to prove to your former boyfriends, who treated you so badly and broke up, that everything in your life has improved and you have finally found true love, and everything that happened before means absolutely nothing. “Look at my VKontakte avatar and drool, you asshole!... and show me to your new goat - I’m many times better than her!”

In fact, there are a lot of reasons why girls want to get married, and each girl has a dozen of her own “personal” reasons.

And the list that I have just shown you is general and more or less standard for all girls - I am sure that from these 10 points you definitely recognize yourself somewhere. Of course, I wouldn’t like to think that some kind of mercantile aspirations or financial interests lead to marriage, but, unfortunately, there are a lot of such examples. But I sincerely want to believe that at least all of our clients definitely get married out of sincere love! After all, everything can be read by the faces from the photographs of our WEDDING PORTFOLIO

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Timur Fedosov ,
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Doesn't want everyday life

It was also customary among our parents to tie the knot. This did not always bring happiness. Girls look at how their parents live and do not want to repeat the failed scenarios of family life, where the father watches TV after work and the mother stands at the stove. Such a girl may well be satisfied with a weekend relationship with romantic dates, joint trips to the cinema and theater. In this case, it is not at all necessary to live together; you can endlessly extend the candy-bouquet period to avoid “everyday life”.

Wants to live for himself

Many people are familiar with the situation when a mother or father tries to make their dreams come true with the help of their children. Often parents overload their daughters with studies, clubs and sections so much that by the time they graduate from university they are exhausted. And this is natural. When you constantly prove to everyone that you are worth something, at a certain moment the thought creeps in: “When will I live for myself?” Often, family life seems to such girls as another obstacle, where they will again have to live someone else’s life.

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Finally, you are going to become her prince on a white horse and make your girlfriend happy with the long-awaited proposal... but she likes the movie “Runaway Bride”.

It is generally accepted that every girl, by definition, wants to get married. Allegedly, since childhood, little young ladies, dreaming of a handsome prince, try on their mother’s veil and plan the most beautiful day of their lives - their wedding day. But is it? Do all girls want to get married? And if they don’t want to, then why? And where does this lack of acceptance of single women come from? Why is it believed that an unmarried lady is inferior and necessarily unhappy? Where and through whose fault did such concepts as “crown of celibacy” and “old maid” arise?

In the article “Why Girls Don’t Want to Get Married” we will try to find answers to all of the above questions.

Why girls don't want to get married. What do the statistics say?

Thirty years ago, only 6.2% of women aged 30 to 34 had never crossed the coveted threshold of the registry office. Such women were considered flawed (since no one married, something was wrong with them), they were pitied and called old maids.

Today, the rate of unmarried women has increased - up to 20% in Russia, and up to 50% in America.

Gradually, a whole layer of women emerged - financially independent and successful, who do not want to get married. And contrary to popular belief, these are by no means losers or gray mice. On the contrary, these are beautiful, bright, successful, ambitious and self-worth ladies.

But just two centuries ago, marriage was perhaps the only opportunity for women to arrange their lives (gain a home, wealth and financial stability).

So why don’t our contemporaries (decent women in all respects) want to get married? To find the answer to this question, we decided to conduct a survey among our compatriots.

Why girls don't want to get married.

Results of a survey from the magazine “Beautiful and Successful”:

Convinced career women.

For them, career comes first, and career ups and achievements are sweeter than any family happiness. They rightly believe that marriage with all the ensuing consequences (husband, children, responsibilities, household chores, etc.) will distract them from their main goal and will not allow them to fully realize their ambitions. After all, the family is not a wolf - it will not run away into the forest.

Therefore, they either completely reject marriage as an atavism and a relic of the past, or postpone it indefinitely (I’ll get married after 30, or even better, after 40).

Divorced women.

This category of women has had negative experiences in the past (breakup of relationships, divorce, division of property, tears, disappointment, pain, resentment). It is this very experience that prevents them from “spreading” their wings again and rushing towards the light of the next “candle”. They don't want to get married because they don't want to get divorced anymore. It is more convenient for them to live in the past, experiencing separation again and again, savoring their pain and cherishing self-pity. It’s better this way (what if he comes to his senses, understands what he lost, repents and returns) than to experience something like this again.

Women waiting.

Yes, they don’t want to get married because “that’s the way it should be” and because all their friends their age have been married for a long time and have a strong family and at least one pink-cheeked toddler. They don’t care about the tears and reproaches of their own mothers (I’m ashamed of you in front of my neighbors, I have to lie that you have a promising boyfriend!), they are not affected by the questions of friends and employees (Are you not married yet? That no one is asking you to get married? ?). They are simply waiting for the one person with whom they want to grow old and to whom they want to give their whole life without a trace. And they will marry him out of love, and not because their parents, boss and Aunt Zina want it.

Women with complexes.

And not their own, but their parents’. Having a clear example of the unhappy and dysfunctional family life of their parents, many girls are in no hurry to get married precisely because they do not want to repeat their fate.

For example, my father abused my mother all his life, did not work and, in addition, drank away the family budget. It is quite natural that the little girl has a negative image of her husband and father. This is why she is afraid to start a family, this is why she does not want to get married.

This is why it is so important for some mothers to think about whether they are transferring their negative experiences onto their daughters. Yes, I agree, it’s clearer from the outside. But let the daughters decide their own destinies. There is no need to convince them from childhood that all men are at a minimum assholes, and at maximum are not worthy of even their little finger. Don’t think that since you are unlucky, then she, your little blood, will definitely be unlucky.

Rebel women.

No, they are not against marriage as such. They are against the prejudice with which unmarried ladies are met everywhere. The need to constantly take the hit (rarely a day goes by without questions, edifications, advice, offers to introduce you to a “well, very decent” guy). But all they need is respect, acceptance and treatment as the most ordinary, NORMAL and full-fledged woman.

Women are freedom-loving.

Freedom is everything to them. They not only value it, they live in its regime. Surrounded by attention and lust from fans, they long to hear compliments addressed to them again and again, receive expensive gifts and be in the center of everyone's admiration. After all, they are a valuable prize in the struggle for primacy and the right of ownership between their many fans. They revel in their independence, irresistibility and inaccessibility. For them, getting married is like death. How about leaving all your dear “friends” and devoting your life to just one? No, never and never!

Women are afraid.

And they are afraid of losing their loved one and everything that they have now (romance, dates, flowers, restaurants). As a rule, these are ardent fans of civil or guest marriages.

It’s better this way than to live all the time in the conditions of treacherous life (let’s better have dinner at home; flowers are a waste of money; how much, how much does this rag cost, which you proudly call a dress?) in anticipation of tears and tears.

Women who don't want children.

It's no secret that fewer and fewer women voluntarily agree to have a child. It’s not just that the movement of childfree in our country is gaining such momentum. The reluctance to get pregnant and spoil your figure, not to get enough sleep and devote all your free time to the child, to run around looking for a nanny before going to a resort or going to a bachelorette party - this is why these ladies are inclined to relationships that are not burdensome with children.

Women who have no one to marry.

Lack of time, the mega-fast pace of life, the inability to change anything - make the search for love almost impossible for such girls. Office-home-office. Hostages of a vicious circle, they eventually get used to this arrangement of things and cease to believe in the possibility of family happiness. After all, not everyone is destined to get married, have a child and be happy.

Women who are disappointed in men.

Everywhere you look, there are only snobs, womanizers, drunkards and gigolos around. It's better to be alone than with just anyone. And to give birth to such people is not to respect yourself. Rotten genes - who needs them?

Women who live for themselves.

The entire childhood and adolescence of such women were spent caring for someone (a seriously ill mother, a little brother, a whole brood of a large family). And now, having gotten rid of the burden of family obligations, they understand that their life has just begun. It's time to live for your loved ones and for your own pleasure.

Photo: CarlosMendoza flickr.com/fotodisenocm

Why women don't want to get married

Incredible, but true - modern successful girls are not too eager to join the registry office. The institution of marriage is bursting at the seams, but who is to blame and what to do is still unclear. “The Picky Bride” The fabulist Ivan Krylov branded the “Choosy Bride”: “The bride-girl was scheming the groom: There is no sin yet, But that’s what a sin is: she was arrogant. If she found a groom, he would be good, smart, and in ribbons, and in honor, and he would be young (The beauty was a little whimsical): Well, to have everything - who can have everything? Well, and in the end everyone knows: “And I was glad, I was glad that I married a cripple.”

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This work was written in 1805, and many men still like to quote it, faced, as it seems to them, with the exorbitant demands of today’s young ladies.

Of course, it was much easier for our grandfathers and fathers to get married: society then looked at an unmarried woman as “third class.” So they jumped out to anyone, just to get married. Remember how the heroine of Svetlana Kryuchkova in Nikita Mikhalkov’s film “Kinfolk” (1981) screamed at her mother (Nonna Mordyukova): “Who needs your truth? Why is it so true? That I'm 30, but I look 35? That she entered college only to escape from this village? That I hate my job and don’t like my husband? That's true. Why do I need it? What good did you get from your truth, what did you get from it? Nothing. One. Free, proud, independent, lonely. Do you even understand that a single woman is indecent?”

Moreover, the gossips of the Soviet period spread gossip about the oddities of an unmarried young lady and at work loaded them like a herd of donkeys: they say, what? She is alone, even if she works on weekends and holidays, everyone else has families. Only in the movies were they filmed fairy tales about the great and bright love of such an individual, so that the audience would shed tears at films like “In Love of His Own Will” and somewhere, deep inside themselves, they believed: a man with the appearance and charisma of Oleg Yankovsky was waiting for them. The Price of Happiness For many centuries, women lived according to established rules: as girls they were supported by their father, then they were obliged to find a husband, because a working woman was not generally accepted by society. It’s impossible to count how many oceans of tears were shed by our unfortunate ancestors.

Characters like Jane Eyre were rare, and even more so in the novels of Charlotte Brontë. As soon as Coco Chanel and her fellow designers 100 years ago helped women get out of bustles and dresses with trains, they, clever ones!, quickly realized: it is better to earn money yourself than to marry without love. And then it began! The men screamed about feminism and terrible morals, but it was too late. Women felt the taste of true freedom: when she is not chosen as a prestigious accessory, but she can choose; when the decision to have a child depends only on her will; when she can build a career and compete quite successfully with men, and then she herself has the right to manage her life. Happy bastards My senior work colleague dreams of getting her 26-year-old son married. “Tell me,” she once turned to me, “why are you all so harmful now, and my Alichek hears only refusals? And he’s such a good boy!” I thought and decided to answer truthfully: “Because it’s difficult for your son to get married, because today’s girls have begun to take marriage much more seriously, and at the age of 26 he is “Alichek”, “such a good boy” and listens to you like a guru.” I won’t betray my friend Asya, who had a short affair with this Alik. Naturally, she broke off the relationship. “Imagine,” a friend shared with us in a cafe, “he calls his mother every half hour, he only wants to live with her. For every proposal I make to rent an apartment or change my specialty in order to earn more, there is only one answer: “You need to ask your mother.” Why do I need it, if I now have a higher salary, there is a prospect. And I’ll earn money for my own housing!” As Asya honestly admitted, Alik’s lover is also useless. And at the very thought that, if she agreed to the marriage, she would have to endure it with her mother for decades, it clearly sounds in her head: “No way!”

The star says: “No!” When faced with female independence, even recognized sex symbols are lost. So the dream of millions of girls, movie idol Johnny Depp was shocked when his lover, actress Amber Heard, said: she absolutely does not want to marry the star of “The Rum Diary”. The 27-year-old young lady not only does not worry about her “old maid” status, but also does not dream of marriage at all. For her, a beauty, the affair with 50-year-old Johnny Depp is just an episode. Very pleasant, no one argues. But for an actress who considers herself too strong for the role of a housewife, the prospect of marriage is excluded. This example once again confirms the truth: a male actor on stage or screen is all in character, but in life he is completely different, and not every girl wants to walk down the aisle with him.

32-year-old American pop singer Britney Spears is also in no hurry to get married. She refused the proposal of her lover Jason Trawick and broke off her engagement to him at the end of January 2013. The girl was never able to forgive the bruises caused by Travik two years ago, when he decided to use his fists. “Travik thought that he would get away with everything,” said one source from the singer’s inner circle, “and he would be able to improve his authority, which was shaken due to the beating of Britney. He wanted to make things right with a romantic trip to Mexico, so he wanted to show that everything was fine between them. Jason also did not expect a refusal to his proposal, he was sure of the opposite - Britney is just as indignant about this. According to her, she is “not stupid enough” to say yes to Jason after such events.”

READ ALSO - How to learn to manage a man

"Should drink less. We need to drink less!” These words from Zhenya Lukashin from his favorite film “The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath!” accurately reflect one of the main aspects of the problem: modern girls simply do not want to connect their lives with an alcohol-dependent man. “Thank you,” of course, to the highly professional advertising of alcoholic beverages of all degrees, to which the stronger sex is more willing to bite than a fish on a hook. It’s fabulously pleasant to sit with friends in a bar, drink beer, talking about all the world’s problems at once. But this lifestyle quickly leads to a purple-blue complexion, trembling hands, a saggy belly and a complete disregard for one’s own career. The question is, what kind of husband can come out of such a frame and what set of diseases will his children get from him?

And no one has the illusion that his wife has enough strength, patience and health to snatch her beloved from the clutches of “friends”, cure him of his addiction and make him a real family man. This is all good in TV series: I picked it up from a trash heap, cured lice, excuse me, and made me a human. But sometimes screenwriters remember the truth of life, and then the handsome man finds another one. Life has its own strict rules: only those who want to can recover from alcoholism, and very few people want to. After all, being the head of a family is a troublesome business, but talking about your bitter lot on a bench under the entrance is much easier. Moreover, they will definitely pour beer. Man on the sofa My friend Lyuba, who has been married for 10 years, constantly complains about her husband: “For him, the sofa,” she says, “is more expensive than me and the children. When I beg to find myself another job, because the children are growing up and they need a lot of things, Tolya responds lapidarily, naturally, without getting up from her favorite rookery: “Your children need it, you earn it. And, in general, there is no point in pampering them. We grew up without computers and iPads, and we grew up nothing.” The problem with Lyuba’s family life is that Tolya completely copies the lifestyle of her parents and proudly declares: “I have never seen my mother sleeping. She always worked!” The bright idea that this is the 21st century and life in general, and family life in particular, has changed a lot, simply does not fit in his head. And it will never fit: why change anything if Tolya is personally so comfortable?

After Lyuba’s monologues, another friend of ours, Natasha, categorically refused to marry Tolya’s friend Dima. “Girls,” she admitted, “I sat down and thought: why do I need this marriage? Dimka is just as much of an asshole as Tolya. The main thing for him is that they don’t demand anything and don’t drive him off the couch. And that means I have to work at several jobs, be a household universal harvester, and also make sure that my treasure is not stolen by some stranger!” Therefore, a special thank you to the time in which we happen to live! And let each of us build our own destiny! Little advice

“You can’t get married, as long as you don’t get married,” says popular wisdom. Each of us has the right to choose, and maybe it’s worth thinking about before Mendelssohn’s march sounds: is it right to cripple your only life, receiving only married status, or to try to rely on the most faithful person - yourself?

Author: Ella Furmanskaya

Source: I WANT

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