How to get used to a new school: advice for children and parents

Transferring to another school is a difficult experience for a student. The “newbie” will have to go through the stage of adaptation to the team, teachers and conditions in the classroom. It is especially difficult for a child or adolescent whose transition to another school coincides with a move, parental divorce, or other family changes.

Adaptation to a new school can take place in a few days, or it can take 2-3 months. What troubles can a “newbie” encounter, how to behave in a new class, and what can parents do to easily survive the change of school? KidsVisitor talks about the stress of moving to another school and psychological support for the “new kid.”

Stress when changing schools

It is important to understand the psychological state of the child:

Moving to another school is a whole complex of changes: a change of teachers, classmates, subjects, rules, environment. Even changing the school building with its new corridors and turns is a whole test for the “new kid”.

Such changes naturally cause anxiety and fear. Not every student will be optimistic about the change in their usual school life.

Change school due to lack of contact

There is also a situation where the child did not particularly conflict with anyone, but did not find himself in the old class. Then the psychologist’s task is to understand why the contact did not happen. Was there a rather aggressive environment in which the child could not fit in, or is the reason in the child himself that he does not know how to establish contact? If it’s a matter of environment, then we work closely with the child, observing how he will react to the team, how his classmates will accept him. We help if necessary.

And it also happens that parents themselves are quite introverted, that is, they do not need society. Introverts are not reserved; they are in no way inferior to extroverts. They just don’t have the need to communicate with a large number of people; they are quite saturated with their inner world. And children, following the model of their parents, grow up without needing a lot of contacts.

Then we adhere to the following tactics: we explain to the child that we come to school first of all to learn, to gain knowledge. Of course, establishing good contacts will be a big plus. But if there is no need, if relationships with classmates do not bring joy, then you can build relationships according to a formal type: we are mutually polite, we say hello, we don’t do nasty things, but at the same time we don’t get into each other’s souls. Let's just say we communicate calmly, neutrally, not particularly close.

For parents of other children, this pattern of behavior causes panic. They live under the illusion that when a child enters a new class, he must immediately make friends with everyone, the parents must also make friends, and the friendship must last for the rest of his life. This is mistake! If you take any average person and ask how many classmates he communicates with, the answer will be 2–3, maximum 5. We find ourselves in a situation where we sit in the same office under the same roof and study the same subjects. But it is not necessary that we should be super friendly, soul to soul. I ask parents to imagine that they will now be placed in a group of 25 strangers. Is it possible to be intimate with each of them?

This is a normal social process when groups appear in the class: according to interests, boys and girls separately (grades 1–5). Boys and girls will become close again in grades 5–6, when an interest in communicating with the opposite sex appears, and in grades 9–11, when the period of first romantic love begins.

Difficulties of transition

When weighing the pros and cons of transferring to another school, do not forget about the possible problems. The mechanism of adaptation to new conditions may lead to a decrease in academic performance or deterioration in behavior.

“Newbies” may also have problems with relationships in the team:

In relation to any stranger, we turn on various defense mechanisms that make communication very difficult. A sad or withdrawn “newbie” may be mistaken for a “weakling” and they will invent ridicule for him. And they will want to “teach a lesson” to someone who ingratiates himself with his new classmates.
The “newcomer” enters a team where the space has already been mastered, the roles are distributed, and he often turns out to be “superfluous” in the class.

When moving to a new school, no one can avoid close scrutiny from their classmates. So you shouldn’t expect that the “new guy” will be immediately accepted into the company, because the class also needs time to adapt to the stranger.

What to do before moving to a new school

The best option is when the transition coincides with the start of the school year in September. During the holidays, connections and roles in the established children's team weaken, and it becomes easier to take “your” place. It’s not bad if before this the child had a rest in a camp or went to a club, courses and gained a positive experience of communicating with peers.

A few weeks before the start of the school year, bring him to school. Walk the corridors together, learn the location of the offices, find out where the toilet and dining room are, where to get drinking water. Having studied the situation, the child will not be afraid on the first day of school.

Chat with your class teacher. Ask about the rules in the classroom, the teachers, the children's group, etc. Tell the teacher about your child: the main character traits, temperament, hobbies, skills, and weaknesses. And also share your expectations for the new class.

If your child attended any sections at a sports school or educational clubs, then do not abandon them. Or find an alternative near a new school.

Preparation

According to experts, the best way to prepare your child to sit alone for several hours is to play with him at school, while still at home. It will be so easy for a child to understand what will happen in this building and what the purpose of visiting it is.

Along with interviews, you can influence his perception of the school so much that the first visit will be without crying and stress, which no one wants. Your goal should be to make the child look forward to school, but on the other hand, he/she should also explain that he/she is facing responsibilities that he/she has never known before.

Many parents believe that a child should be able to write or read something before going to school, but this is not so important. More importantly, there are other things that are not easy to teach him in school, or there is simply no time for it. If you're not sure what to teach your freshman, we have a list to help you out.

1. Every newcomer must master the social habits taught at home. He must be able to put on, put on, tie shoelaces, know how to blow his nose or wash his hands after using the toilet.
2. He should know his name, his parents and what his home address is.
3. Parents should explain to him who a teacher is and what his status is.
4. Each newcomer should already have time to greet the adult, thank him and ask questions.
5. Even before school, children should have a pen and colored pencils, without which no school can do.
6. Every child should have certain sports habits, which means that he should have developed gross motor skills.

At the very least, he should be able to catch a ball, run or jump.

These are the most important things you should teach your child before he sits on the bench for the first time. They will teach him to read, write and count at school, but he will go there. Imagine, however, that a teacher had to teach every child how to say hello or when to wash their hands. There really is no time in school, so teach your children only the necessary things.

How to simplify the adaptation of a “newbie”: tips for parents

Do not forbid communicating with former classmates and friends from old school.
Set yourself and the student in a positive mood, find several positive aspects of translation.
Spend a lot of time communicating: instead of the usual “How are you at school?” ask more specific questions: “What new did you learn today?”, “Who did you meet today?”, “Did you encounter difficulties today?”, “What did you do during the break?” - this way you can get more information.
Every day during the adaptation period, help with preparing lessons. But don't do your child's homework. Help should consist of a joint search for information, discussions, etc.
During adaptation, free your child from household chores.
Do not discuss or condemn the old school, teachers, or classmates in front of him, even if it has become more difficult for the student to study.
Have fun together: this will help your child get distracted and recharge with good emotions.
Support your child's new acquaintances, help organize a party, or simply gather new friends at your home.
With the consent of the child, enroll him in a section, club or course that his peers attend. This will help him find common ground with new classmates.

How to behave in a new class: advice for schoolchildren

Be friendly, neat and watch your posture;
choose the position of a not too active, but observant class participant. Observations will help you quickly respond to unexpected situations;
Don't expect to become friends with everyone right away. After all, the class also needs time to get used to you;
do not fawn and do not buy attention with gifts;
don’t talk about how good it was at your previous school;
do not brag or lie about yourself;
don't snitch;
respond to nagging calmly, with a smile, without raising your voice. This will help avoid conflicts;
do not cheat on yourself, do not agree to what you consider wrong;
ask questions and seek advice from those you trust;
do not attract undue attention to yourself;
if it becomes difficult and lonely, imagine your parents and friends behind you.

Help your students transition to a new school while being themselves!

Is this article helpful
Yes (1) No (0) Facebook Twitter

Important not only for children

You may be surprised, but in addition to the children, his parents need to be prepared for school life. Not just one, but both. This does not mean, however, that you should think only about the first holiday, but about each day that will now become part of your life.

Remember to be interested in your child's feelings from the first visit, as well as every day while she lived at school. Even if your son or daughter doesn't show it to you, make sure he feels your interest and belonging.

In this case, it's not just about constantly asking what they did and whether they completed their tasks, but also getting information about how the day went and whether they enjoyed it at school. This allows you to find out early if your child has a problem and solve it quickly. Bullying is a very common and annoying problem in schools.

Although this topic is difficult and unacceptable to many, it is one that you and your child can relate to. Before going to school, your child needs to be reminded that not all of them will be his friends and problems may arise. Then it is important that your child trusts you and can confide in you.

If this is hidden from you, there will be a huge problem that you may not even notice. Therefore, you need to speak directly to each child and express your opinion without fear. If you prepare your child well, his or her attendance at school will be free.