When I was writing this article, a phrase was spinning in my head, casually thrown by one of my “macho” friends: “all women want marriage, a fur coat and shoes.” Of course, the opinion of men about the weaker sex still needs to be taken into account in such an important issue as marriage, but I will still try to analyze this issue from a woman’s point of view. So, not everyone, but those who want to get married are divided into two categories. The first: “marry anyone in pants” and the second: “marry a good, kind, decent man.” Read below about the chances of meeting a “good, kind, decent man.”
On the central channels of our favorite television, reality shows “about love” are extremely popular. Where this very love is sought, built, dug up and matched for girls from 18 years old to senile insanity. And advice on this topic is given by “smart” slogans such as “at any age there is a chance to find a good husband”, and that life “after 40 years is just beginning”, all this undoubtedly sounds beautiful, but how far from all this is truth...
Age 18-25 years.
And quite rightly, our mothers and grandmothers got married at 18, gave birth to us at 20, and lived happily as a family.
This is the coolest age of first love, when all feelings are sincere and real. When girls and boys are not yet poisoned by the “modern fashion for frivolous relationships”, when everything is sincere, honest, cool. This happens only in youth and everyone, without exception, remembers their first kiss, and their first loved one, and everything that is first and present. The best, kindest, decent, faithful, purposeful guys are not married, so the chance of getting married happily for love is 90% (we’ll give 10% to the “human factor”, when even at this age you can meet an eccentric who can poison a girl’s whole life) .
Age 25-30 years.
As if this is the age when there is still a chance not to jump into the last carriage of a departing train, but while nervously walking along the platform, carefully peer at the departing trains so as not to be late for your carriage.
At the age of 25-30, most good and kind guys are already married and expecting their first child, but some careerists, those who “didn’t work up until they were 25” and obsessed with personal freedom are still single. The chance of marrying a good, kind, intelligent and decent man at the age of 25-30 is 50%. Notice how rapidly the percentage in terms of the chance of marrying for love with a “good and decent” man has fallen, and this is all because “good men are taken apart as puppies.”
Age 30-35 years.
The peak of divorces, disappointments, and “malicious alimony workers”, a lot of divorced men find themselves on the street in search of happiness.
They are worn out from their first marriages, they hate their “ex-wives” and tell their friends “how great they have it with young people.” When the wave of madness subsides, there are only one or two men left on the bachelor market who are suitable for remarriage, but even those, as a rule, already have children “there”, which means Saturday meetings with “that” child, alimony and other joys of life They will be forever in a new family. The rest of the mass of divorced men can be safely called “substandard”, since women do not leave normal men, which means that newly minted bachelors have a whole bunch of “virtues”. Such as drunkenness, parasitism, gambling addiction, women of all stripes, and so on and so forth. The chance at this age is equal to 20%, and in general the chance of getting married is equal to this very 20%, since all newly-minted bachelors, even from the “substandard” subcategory, do not strive for remarriage, still being under the impression of their first “happy” union.
Age 35-40 years.
This is the time of romantic married people, this is the time when married romantics throw themselves in stacks at the feet of unmarried ladies in search of “a little love, a little warmth.”
All normal, good, decent, decent men have been married for a long time, love children, adore their wives, spend weekends and holidays together and look with surprise at the crowds of single ladies who have waited 30 years “to get back on their feet and think about marriage.” Ladies, it’s too late to think, the last carriage, thundering, rushes into the distance. There is a chance, having broken off your brightly painted nails and skinned your knees, to jump into the last carriage of departing female happiness. The chance of getting married, and even successfully, is 10%.
The same age after 40 years.
This is the very age when life is just beginning.
This may be true, but as far as love is concerned, everything is mute. The last carriage disappeared from view several years ago, and there is peace and quiet on the platform. Occasionally, at the station waiting for a “decent husband”, belching beer and hiccupping, discordant shoals of those same divorced men who, over 5-10 years of single life, have become disorganized and, as a rule, have sunk to the level of the plinth, pass by. The second wave of newly divorced men cannot stand women to the point of disgust; they are the ones who are sure that all women are fools and all women want a fur coat, shoes and marriage. These are the same macho men who write on forums that they sleep exclusively with minors and that for women after 40 years everything “hangs” and sways. At the same time, they themselves, as a rule, have a pregnant belly, a beer smell, black nails and bald heads. A bad sense of humor and impotence come with it. And, yes! Extremely high self-esteem. This is the same age when wives and mistresses fight to the death for the right to have men’s pants in the house, when intelligent ladies with higher education write to dating sites for the first time, in the hope of “meeting Him.” And they are answered from prisons, married men and other men from the “male spam” category, starting with the phrase “I’ll call you back.”
After 40 years, normal and single men remain in the proportion of 1 in 100,000, it turns out that the chance of meeting and marrying a good, decent, single man is less than 1%.
Conclusion:
Everything needs to be done on time, including getting married and having children. Of course, there are exceptions to any rule and there are happy marriages concluded at 45 years old, and at 50 years old, and even at 80. But this is more likely luck, a miracle, winning the lottery than real life, so if there is still a chance to get married successfully , then go ahead. Well, if “after 40 years life is just beginning,” probably stop making people laugh and it’s better to do something else, rather than search for an ideal, free and non-existent man. And, yes, if you are destined to meet at 45 years old, then he will find you himself.
Every mother's worst nightmare is a daughter who didn't get married at 25, 30 or 35 years old. Well, when are you already? - older female relatives look at the “staying too long” reproachfully. But she doesn’t understand anything - she’s still a child herself, so many countries haven’t been traveled, so many stallions haven’t been ridden - why get married?
By the way, the generational dispute could be easily avoided by showing two graphs to the mother or grandmother who is clutching valerian. This is the age at which people got married in the 80s of the last century, and now.
Please note - when mothers were young, most of the brides and grooms ended up separated before the age of 25. And after 35, the task of finding at least someone available became even more difficult! Here we must add the fact that there are still more divorces now. That is, some comrades find themselves in the game again and again.
Nowadays it is not customary to get married and get married too early. Hence there are many important changes. For example, it is stupid to believe that every 25-year-old, and especially 35-year-old bride, is a virgin. This means that attitudes towards sex before marriage and outside marriage are the most loyal.
A later age of marriage suggests that young people will live separately from their parents. Living with your parents is normal at 20, but living with your parents at 35 is hell.
This age also implies that, alas, fewer children will be born. I think you understand why.
These changes happened so quickly that many simply did not have time to adapt to them. It is possible that an intrusive aunt or colleague really only wants the best. But the world is changing every day, and now 35-year-old brides have become the norm, and 18-year-old brides are a curiosity. Such is progress.
The traditional girl's dream is a diamond ring, a wedding dress and, of course, the long-awaited prince himself. And, having received a marriage proposal, every girl asks the question - what is the best thing to do? Should I postpone the wedding and wait until my feelings are tested by time? Or should I immediately agree before the prince changes his mind? According to psychologists, it is equally wrong to immediately throw yourself into the wedding pool headlong and drag it out indefinitely. has its pros and cons at any age.
According to the law, yesterday's schoolgirl in our country can easily wear a veil. True, you still have to ask your parents for permission. Having barely received a passport, the young “bride” may well get married under such circumstances as pregnancy. But the main question remains: will such an early marriage bring happiness, or will passion die out at the very first everyday problems?
Disadvantages of marriage at 18
- Love at this age is often confused with a riot of hormones, as a result of which the chances of becoming an ex-wife increase exponentially.
- Maternal instincts are present in every woman, but at this age they have not yet fully awakened so that the mother can devote herself completely to the child.
- Such drastic changes as the inability to “hang out with girlfriends” or go to a club or salon often become causes of nervous breakdowns. In marriage, you have to devote yourself entirely to your family, which, alas, not every girl at this age comes to.
From 18 to 25 years old
Pros 1. Freshness and brightness of feelings. Early marriages are often the “fruits” of first love, and, as you know, it is the brightest. It is at this age that girls most often marry for great and bright love. 2. At a young age, the psyche is more flexible. The characters of the young spouses have not yet been fully formed. They did not have time to acquire stable habits and an established way of life, which would be difficult to change. And therefore it is easier for them to adapt to each other. 3. There is no experience of single life, which leaves an imprint on character, forms “bachelor” habits and can become an obstacle in marriage. 4. Many girls at this age are more inclined to subordinate their lives to serving family values rather than building a career. But then, when the child grows up a little, they can focus on social fulfillment, which will no longer need to be interrupted by maternity leave. 5. And, finally, at this age there is a greater chance of giving birth to a healthy child. Cons 1. Infantile approach to marriage. Often young girls, with the help of marriage, are simply trying to solve some personal problems - to prove to others that they are in demand, to gain independence, to get rid of parental control, to annoy their ex-boyfriend, etc. It is clear that with this approach the marriage is unlikely to last long. 2. Psychological immaturity. Girls at this age are led by external manifestations, without thinking at all about what lies behind them. That’s why they often fall in love with rollicking jokers or “bad guys,” who seem to them the embodiment of masculinity and strength. However, such specimens, as we have already written, are not very suitable for family life. 3. Often, ordinary falling in love is mistaken for a great feeling. The chosen one seems to be the focus of all the virtues in the world. And when the rose-colored glasses fall off, it turns out that he has shortcomings that the young wife is not ready to put up with. 4. Lack of life experience. Girls at this age have little idea of what a man needs. Not ready to adapt or compromise. Often they simply do not know how to understand and feel a man. 5. Lack of household skills. Young women, who just yesterday fluttered out of their parents' nest, often find themselves unprepared for the everyday routine and perceive the responsibilities that have fallen on them as a disaster. 6. The intimate life of spouses may suffer due to the inexperience of both parties. Moreover, at this age, female sexuality is not yet particularly formed. 7. If a woman got married early and gave birth to a child, it may later be difficult for her to realize herself socially. Since she has practically (and sometimes completely) no work experience.
Disadvantages of marriage at 23-27 years old
- The risk of divergence of interests
(one of the couple has not yet outgrown “nightclubs”, while the other is concerned about the family budget and possible prospects). - Approaching the age when pregnancy may become problematic.
According to statistics and the opinion of psychologists, marriages that take place at this age, for the most part, are dictated not by love, but by sober calculation. In such marriages, everything is checked down to the smallest detail, from the family budget to taking out the trash can. Rather, such a marriage resembles a business agreement
, although one cannot deny its strength - even in the absence of the “passions of youth”, marriages at this age are very strong. Precisely because of the balance of his decision. In conclusion, we can repeat one well-known truth - “All ages are submissive to love.” Sincere mutual love knows no obstacles, and a love boat, provided there is trust, respect and mutual understanding, simply cannot break into everyday life, no matter what age the Mendelssohn march begins to play.
Statistics on age at marriage
What about the age of those getting married? In recent times, we can talk about an increase in the number of marriage registrations between men and women whose age exceeds 25 years. This phenomenon is considered relatively new, since in the years after the war and up to 1990, the age of people who got married was lower.
The trend to marry after 25 years of age emerged in the mid-90s.
Since the early 2000s, marriage rates for people aged 25-35 have exceeded those of 25 years ago. And by 2010, the 25-30 age group overtook 18-24 year olds in terms of the number of marriages.
And in general, among the young group of people there is a decrease in marriage activity, this is especially noticeable if we compare the statistics of our days and the statistics of 20 years ago. It should also be noted that marriages under the age of 18 among men and women in Russia have become statistically uninteresting, introducing a small number of early marriages.
Data for men
Consider the age of men who marry. So the first place in this list is occupied by the age group of 25-30 years, it accounts for about 33% of marriages, i.e. about a third of all marriages. Together with this age group, the groups from 20-25 and from 30-35 years old make up about 75% of all marriages.
It turns out that if we take a wider range, it turns out that men aged 20-35 years are the undisputed majority, because other older and younger groups only have 25%.
Marriages under 18 account for only 0.1%. Another interesting fact is that there are 0.5% more marriages among men over 60 than among men aged 18-19.
Data for women
As for women, the situation is as follows. The largest percentage was the group aged 20-25 years (about 38%), followed by the group aged 25-30 years (about 27%). The age group of 30-35 years old occupies 12% of the total, and thus it turns out that these three age groups of 20-35 years old occupy 77%.
Thus, we can say with confidence that almost all marriages that take place among both men and women are concluded between the ages of 20-35 years.
The main reasons why people get married
Everyone wants to get married. Even those who prove the opposite. But some come out later, some earlier, depending on expectations in life. Everyone has their own motives and reasons
:
- All my friends have already gotten married.
- Conscious desire to have a child.
- Strong feelings for the gentleman.
- The desire to live separately from parents.
- An acute lack of male care for a girl who grew up without a father.
- A man's wealth.
- The cherished status of a “married lady”.
- Parents' insistence on marriage.
Oddly enough, reasons for refusing marriage
Modern girls also have:
- Reluctance to do housework (cook, wash, etc.)
- Independence and freedom, the loss of which seems catastrophic.
- Fear of pregnancy and loss of slimness.
- Uncertainty about feelings.
- The desire to live exclusively for oneself.
- Reluctance to change surname.
- Life position – “free love”.
For many girls who have reached the age of 25, the global question of marriage arises; and annoying advice on how to get married is heard at almost every turn. Indeed, at this fairly advanced female age, the problem becomes especially acute, since a self-sufficient young lady is too capricious in choosing a life partner, and men also prefer girls a little younger.
First of all, you need to get rid of the “old maid” complex. It is important to understand that 25 years is a mature age for any representative of the fairer sex, in which marriage is not yet a global problem. That is why you should not dwell on your loneliness, but make the search for a husband the meaning of your life. As a rule, men run away from such persistent girls, considering them too intrusive and limited in communication.
Often a girl cannot get married because of a past betrayal on the part of her now ex-lover. In this case, you will need advice from a psychologist on how to survive betrayal, which will restore your former trust in male representatives. Aggression and signs of feminism will pass unnoticed, and men will no longer seem like traitors and traitors, as they did before.
In order to get married sooner, you need to appear in public places more often, while leading an active lifestyle. You shouldn’t limit yourself to working and watching your favorite show on the couch on your day off, since your betrothed certainly won’t knock on the door. Thus, it is recommended to attend concerts, theatre, fitness club, visit often and simply take walks in crowded places. If the last breakup was very painful, it wouldn’t hurt to get practical advice from a psychologist on how to get over the breakup and start enjoying life again.
At the age of 25, you shouldn’t give up on yourself, considering thoughts of marriage and children to be a pipe dream. In fact, this is not the case, since it is possible that the betrothed lives on the next street, for example. That is why it is important to always have a well-groomed appearance that will arbitrarily attract male gaze. There should always be a friendly smile on your face, and not a sour grimace, which only scares away everyone around you. Men certainly don’t like “meanies.” Tips on how to become successful in this life will also come in handy.
Lastly, don't expect a fairytale prince who may never appear; It’s better to turn your attention to earthly guys, who are also endowed with a lot of advantages. In addition, you need to create the ideal man yourself, and not receive him ready-made. Tips on how to become beautiful will also be useful in this matter.
Love, security, age - these are, perhaps, the three fundamental areas for marriage. But if everything is clear with love - it either exists or it doesn’t, and with security it is also more or less clear - no one has abolished marriages of convenience, then with the issue of age, not everything is so simple.
No one will ever give an accurate and unambiguous answer to questions like “At what age is it best to get married” and “What should be the age of spouses for a happy marriage.” Each couple has its own answer to these questions, and only stubborn statistics say that girls prefer to get married at 20-25 years old, and usually choose guys who are at least 3-6 years older than them as husbands.
In our survey (on the main page of the portal), the public has a clear opinion: the best age for a bride is 20-25 years. In second place is the age of 25-30 years. Young girls under the age of 20 take an honorable third place in our “bride age hit parade.”
Marriage age
has long been associated with youth and physical maturity, health. According to the law, in Ukraine, boys can marry from the age of 18, girls - from 17. However, there is an exception in the Law: in the presence of special circumstances, marriage can be concluded at an earlier age. Usually such a “circumstance” is an “unexpected” pregnancy of the bride.
But if we ignore any “force majeure” circumstances for too early a marriage, we can distinguish several types of family, depending on the age of those entering the barque and the age difference between the spouses.
Early marriage.
Of course, such an important issue as marriage must be approached carefully and thoroughly. After all, after the wedding, you bind yourself to your chosen one or chosen one for life. And society quite rightly believes that mature people are capable of making such decisions. Therefore, marriage of people aged 18-20, sometimes even 23, is often perceived as something premature and frivolous. According to statistics, early marriages are the most vulnerable. But, on the other hand, at an early age, feelings and emotions are extremely strong. Love at this age is characterized by ardor and recklessness, and youthful maximalism sweeps away all obstacles on the way to a loved one. And there are a lot of couples who have proven that they are able to live happily and prosperously all their lives together, from adolescence to old age. But still, if you are “in the mood” to get married at 18, we advise you to think it over carefully. And preferably without emotions. Remember that early marriages tend to break up in the first year.
Marriage of the “golden age”.
The age from about 23 to 26-28 years is considered almost the most suitable for marriage. It should be noted that girls mature earlier than boys, but by the age of 25, the difference in physical and, importantly, psychological terms between peers of both sexes practically disappears. This age is the period of human flourishing. The most favorable for childbirth. For men, this is the time of best physical shape and endurance. By the age of 23-25, young people, as a rule, finish their studies and begin a professional career. They have already decided in life and can independently provide for their family. Youthful maximalism gives way to an adult outlook on life.
Late marriage.
At the age of “about 30 or 30-something,” a wedding is already a conscious, a hundred times weighed decision. Often, at this age, people are not getting married for the first time, and they understand perfectly well what surprises life “after the altar” has in store for them.
Very late marriage.
Perhaps it is to our grandparents that we owe the catchphrase “All ages are submissive to love.” Such marriages are concluded at 50, 60, 70 and even 80 or more years old! And although at this age love for partners means more support and care for each other, and not a fire in which all worldly hardships burn out, the feelings can be so strong that one can envy the young.
Marriage between peers.
Usually girls marry peers, unable to resist long-term courtship. Such a marriage, as a rule, is the result of a long, kindergarten, school or college love. Relationships develop over a long period of time, and a wedding between peers, oddly enough, turns out to be a completely mature and deliberate decision.
The man is older than the woman.
It is believed that a man should be a little, 3-4 years, older than his wife. Growing up earlier, girls mature and age earlier than their husbands. And a small age difference compensates for the consequences of these processes.
The man is much older than the woman.
Young girls are attracted to mature men primarily by their “maturity.” They are confident that such a man will take care of them, shower them with attention and affection, they strive to be in a marriage “like behind a stone wall,” and they see the back of a mature, adult husband as such a wall. It must be said that most often these dreams come true. True, it is impossible to answer the question of what age difference would be reasonable. Girls are happy to marry men who are 10, 20 and even 30 years older than them. And, I must say, many such brides feel great in the status of wives.
The woman is older than the man.
If the difference is small, within 5 years, such a marriage is practically no different from a marriage between peers or a marriage where the man is slightly older than the wife. But today marriages are increasingly being registered where the woman is much older than the man, at least 10 years old. In society, such women are considered “masters of intimate relationships”; in the eyes of others they look like real lionesses. Well, rumors tend to attribute the status of “son” to men in such marriages. Although in reality this is not always the case. The young spouse in such a marriage is, as a rule, a strong guy, but somewhat immature psychologically. He is touchy, vulnerable, unbalanced. He has very few friends. Most often, it is the wife who acts as her husband’s main friend and adviser; she helps him find a place in life. And although, according to statistics, such marriages do not last long, 5-8 years, the young husband associates success in life with his ex-wife. And often such “exes” remain faithful and best friends for their, also former, wives.
To summarize, I would like to point out one thing. Despite the fact that the issue of age for marriage is quite serious, you should not set the goal of building a relationship precisely within the framework of the ideal, from your point of view, option. People can be so different that the criterion of age objectively, in fact, gives only relative characteristics. In any relationship, everywhere and always, you need to listen to two main advisers. And this is not mom and girlfriend, not dad and not uncle - not at all! This is your heart and your head. And these comrades, according to Felix Edmundovich, are radically different - a warm heart, a cold head. Therefore, their solutions will have an optimal temperature.
Best age to get married
…
Many girls are concerned about the question: what is the ideal age for marriage, how to find a middle ground so that the marriage is happy and long. No one will tell you a definite answer. This is beyond the power of psychologists, astrologers, and predictors.
Today there are no canons or rules for today's youth. If in the times of our grandmothers and mothers, the ideal age was considered to be 18-22 years old, and in ancient centuries girls got married at 12-14 years old, then today everything is different. Statistics show that many girls are in no hurry to get married early. First of all, this is due to a great desire to succeed as a person, sharpen your career, and see the world. Secondly, many men began to give preference to older girls, who for them would not only be good wives, but also pleasant interlocutors. According to the latest statistics, the average age of girls for marriage is 25-28 years. According to the law, a girl has the right to marry from the age of 17, and in some cases from the age of 16.
According to psychologists, each age has its own advantages and disadvantages.
17-20 years old
Advantages:
1. The girl easily agrees to the marriage proposal, and does not worry much about future family concerns. 2. Early pregnancy, young mother.
Flaws:
1. After a bright holiday, disappointment in family life sets in very quickly, which in most cases is associated with everyday problems. Many at this age are simply not ready for adult family life with all its consequences, and as a result, the marriage breaks up. 2. A cheerful, carefree life, communication with peers is replaced by diapers and pots.
20 -25, 25-30 years
Advantages:
1. A girl at this age approaches the choice of her partner more thoughtfully, manages to obtain a higher education, realize herself as a person, and establish herself at work.
2. Psychological readiness for possible family problems, the ability to find the right solution, independence.
Flaws:
1. The older the girl is, the higher her demands for choosing a future husband. At this age, many girls look not only at a person’s moral qualities, but also at his financial situation. For example, how often does your loved one visit a flower shop and give you beautiful bouquets, how he takes care of you and is generous with gifts.
The happiness and strength of your marriage does not depend on age. You can get married at 18, 30, 40, and be incredibly happy. The secret of family happiness depends only on the two of you, how seriously you take each other.
