It is customary to speak about Russian wives in the most enthusiastic tone and using the most flattering epithets. Of course: they are beautiful, feminine and patriarchal. It was these qualities that were so popular among foreigners who were tired of feminism in the early 2000s. But the next 20 years showed that the virtues of Russian wives are just vices turned inside out. And brides from Russia began to rapidly go out of fashion. If you still want to catch an elusive trend by the tail and seek your fortune abroad, read our rating and never do that!
We have deciphered a list of misconceptions that, upon closer examination, turn out to be very annoying features of Russian wives. By the way, they can alienate not only foreigners.
A Russian woman respects men = a Russian woman painfully wants to get married and is ready to do a lot for this
Girls in Russian families still begin to be told at about the age of five that the best thing they can do in life is to get married. Therefore, by the age of 18, the girl is firmly convinced: she, of course, can conquer space, invent a cure for cancer, save the planet from an environmental disaster, but all this is worth nothing and interests no one until she has a wedding ring on her finger and a stamp in her passport . And if so, there is no need to waste time on trifles, you must immediately realize your main purpose. The status of a married lady is something like a sign of quality for her. And if the husband is a citizen of another country, then this is not just quality, this is already the highest grade. For this reason, you can respect a man a little. And even forgive him all his shortcomings, including alcoholism and impotence. But exactly until he becomes her husband. One thing is bad: there are fewer and fewer men in the world who agree to be a free addition to their status.
A Russian woman does not compete with a man = a Russian woman is not capable of partnership
It’s true, Russian wives really don’t compete with their husbands. What for? It’s much more convenient if he has a strong shoulder or a stone wall, and she successfully asked to come into his arms. Let the man think about where to live and how to earn money, and she will indicate where to go on vacation and what fur coat she should buy this season. And just try to object! She already knows her rights: a man owes her, simply because he is a man.
Russian woman is selfless = Russian woman is convinced that money is not her problem
She generally has a peculiar relationship with finances: “Darling, your salary is our money, and mine is only mine!” A man simply has no right to earn little. Moreover, what is “little” or “enough” is not for her husband to decide, but for her. She will not try to earn money herself; it will be better to “educate” a man. That is, whining and scandals encourage him to climb the career ladder or get a fourth job. In short, see point 2.
A Russian woman is wise and patient = a Russian woman is a manipulator
“The husband is the head, the wife is the neck” - no nation in the world seems to have a similar saying. A Russian woman would rather die than say directly and honestly what she is dissatisfied with and what she needs. She will sigh sadly, roll her eyes, and let this husband, who is the husband, jump around, lost in conjecture. Didn't you guess? We begin to beautifully shed bitter tears onto our trembling chests. Have you guessed it, but are in no hurry to implement it? We look into the distance with misty eyes and make it clear that in such a tragic situation intimacy is in no way possible, and so on. In a word, “you can do whatever you want, but if you don’t do what I need, then I will die of boredom and a heart attack!” Direct and honest relationships are not for a Russian wife, because these men are so insidious that you cannot play with him openly. By the way, it works great with Russian men.
A Russian woman respects family values = a Russian woman gets married with her entire family
Okay, parents, but brothers and sisters, cousins and nephews - all these are now your problems too, dear, even if you have never seen these people in your life. They consider it completely normal to show up to you for a couple of weeks and demand attention, understanding, food and gifts. And they don’t care that it’s not accepted in your country.
A Russian woman is a wonderful mother = a Russian woman believes that she is performing a daily feat
The Russian woman is a mother-heroine. Not in the sense that she wants and is ready to raise many children. She simply perceives motherhood as a daily feat. For her, pregnancy is a unique condition, the birth of a child is a heroic act, and raising him is a high mission. At the same time, she will let the father know that he is a secondary creature and not so important in the child’s life. The Russian wife is horrified by the concept of “father on parental leave.” This is impossible! Only she should be on this leave - and until the child graduates from primary school. By this time, by the way, you can give birth to a second one, thus extending your vacation for another decade. Russian men are quite happy with this state of affairs. But only Russians.
A Russian woman is capable of sacrifice and compassion = a Russian woman is prone to codependency and masochism
Well, yes, a Russian will never leave an alcoholic, a lazy person, a domestic tyrant, or even a crazy person. She will carry her cross, because he will be lost without her! Most “crusaders” don’t even think that psychologists around the world have long called this behavior codependency. The more doubtful a man is, the easier it is to seem like an ideal woman next to him. The Russian woman has been reveling in these painful relationships for decades, instead of taking care of her own life. So a Russian woman does not save an addicted man - she drowns him in addiction, grooms him and cherishes other people’s problems. The husbands of such wives will never stop being alcoholics or unemployed, because their faithful simply don’t need them like that!
A Russian woman endures all the hardships of life = a Russian woman does not want and does not know how to be happy
Happiness is not our tradition. A Russian woman is “sharpened” to overcome difficulties, fight against circumstances and make other sacrifices. Absolutely everything requires sacrifice: beauty, family, relationships. Otherwise, how can you then say: “I spent my best years on you!” And if you decide to tell a Russian woman. that life is given for happiness and pleasure, then you deeply traumatize it. Just imagine: she overcomes and struggles all her life, but someone else does nothing like that and gets approximately the same result. What if there are no objective difficulties? Don't worry, she will definitely find them.
CHARACTER OF A RUSSIAN WOMAN
An incomprehensible, contradictory Russian female character, in which strength and tenderness, perseverance and complaisance, love and self-denial merged together.
The image of a Russian woman is shrouded in a veil of mystery, which Russian writers have long sought to reveal. Russian literature presents readers with a whole gallery of characters of Russian women, very different, but all of them are united by sincerity of feelings and thoughts, integral, living natures. They say that you won’t see people like that anymore, but if you take a closer look, modern Russian women are in many ways similar to their literary sisters. Yes, we live in a different time and in a different society, but even today being a Russian woman is already a merit.
Since the time of Tatyana Larina, female characters have become much stronger than male ones, moreover, they are opposed to them. The playmaker Evgeny Onegin, going with the flow and thinking little about Alexey Vronsky, wrapped in a robe and practically not rising from the sofa, Ilya Oblomov, completely depressed after the loss of his wife and beloved, Yuri Zhivago, spender and spendthrift Sergei Paratov... Against their background, thick, juicy Portraits of Russian women are painted in brushstrokes.
Tatyana became the first main character of a Russian novel - and this was the courage of the poet, and the novel itself could rather have been called “Tatiana Larina”. The boom in “female” titles for literary works happened a little later: “Anna Karenina”, “Asya”, “Mashenka”, “Anna Snegina”, “Lyubov Yarovaya”...
Strong female characters are not only a literary phenomenon, but also a real one. Women's forums are full of complaints about the indifference and laziness of husbands, assault and betrayal. And in your surroundings, you have probably met women who take care of work, children, and everyday life. There are also happy exceptions, but even in such tandems the woman is a source of energy for the partner. Being strong is a habit imbibed from an early age.
femmes russes are famous all over the world for their beauty and charm. Moreover, this beauty is not in the canonical correctness of facial features, but in content. Bulgakov's Margarita attracted us with the spark that burned in her eyes. Tatyana Larina - thoughtfulness and inner purity. Natasha Rostova - liveliness and spontaneity. Writers especially often emphasize the beauty of the eyes, which, as is known, are the “mirror of the soul.” These are the “amazing, touching eyes” of Chekhov’s Lyubov Andreevna Ranevskaya, the large, stern eyes of Nekrasov’s Matryona Timofeevna or the brilliant gray eyes, “seeming dark from thick eyelashes,” of Anna Karenina.
A classic example of a Russian beauty is presented to us by Nekrasov in the poem “Frost. Red Nose": "There are women in Russian villages with calm, important faces, with beautiful strength in their movements, with a gait, with the look of queens."
Sometimes authors deliberately emphasize the heroine’s lack of external beauty, encouraging readers to look deep into her beautiful soul. This is how Pushkin presents us with his “sweet ideal”: “So, she was called Tatyana. Neither her sister’s beauty nor her ruddy freshness would have attracted the eye.”
Natasha Rostova first appears before us as an “ugly, but lively girl.”
Sometimes, on the contrary, the heroines are distinguished by their amazing beauty. Varenka (“After the Ball” by L. Tolstoy) was “in her youth... lovely: tall, slender, graceful and majestic.” A rare beauty was poor Liza, who captivated Erast at the first meeting.
But the beauty of Russian women is not only a gift of nature, but also the result of hard work on oneself . Russian women take care of themselves from their youth: they follow fashion, know how to do makeup and hair. They do not allow themselves to go out in wrinkled clothes and even take out the trash in high heels. And all this is done with the sole purpose of winning the attention and hearts of men.
For a Russian woman, family values are important. And Russians generally get married earlier than their European counterparts. The latter must first get on their own feet, build a career and furnish a home. And Russians, not only women, but also men, thanks to strong family ties, can count on the help and support of their grandparents. Therefore, they often successfully combine family with career - and this is also a feature of the character of Russian women. But the measure of female success in the eyes of society, no matter how some representatives of the fair sex oppose it, has still been and remains marriage.
It happens that a Russian woman’s commitment to family and children turns into sacrifice. Classic literature provides us with examples of heroines who see their destiny in the family. Larisa Ogudalova is ready to marry Karandyshev: “I thought that family responsibilities would fill my life and reconcile me with her.”
Natasha Rostova completely dissolves in worries about her husband and children: “The subject in which Natasha plunged was the family, that is, the husband, who had to be held so that he inseparably belonged to her, the house, and the children, who had to be carried, give birth, feed, educate.”
Russian woman is a mother. Natalya, the unloved wife of Grigory Melekhov (“Quiet Don” by M. Sholokhov), for the first time deserves the tender gaze of her husband, having given birth to twins and shining with “some kind of pure inner beauty.” For the daughter-in-law, Grigory Ilyinichna’s mother becomes closer to her own mother. She is the stronghold of the family, a wise and calm woman. Without fussing in vain, she manages to keep the house in order, and pay attention to all the children, their emotional experiences, and tame her angry husband.
Often life confronts heroines with a choice: Love or duty. And there is no clear answer to this question.
Remaining faithful to her husband, rejecting love that has not faded over the years, is Tatyana Larina’s choice. She cannot give up her position in society - a rich and noble lady, the wife of a prince and general. Natalya Korshunova, the quiet and affectionate heroine of Sholokhov’s “Quiet Flows the Don,” forgives the dislike and betrayal of her husband, Grigory Melekhov.
Modern women are often also ready to put up with their husband’s shortcomings, drunkenness, beatings, infidelity, trying to the last to save the family...
At the opposite pole are other women - they are ready to make any sacrifice for the sake of love. And this love is elemental, metaphysical, incomprehensible to reason. Love is life itself.
Turgenev's Asa combines a “kind heart” and a “poor head.” She is sincere, honest, agile. And her feelings can only be just as immediate: “How deeply she feels and with what incredible power these feelings are expressed in her; it comes over her as unexpectedly and as irresistibly as a thunderstorm.”
Liza, modest, hardworking, completely surrendered to Erast, she “only lived and breathed for him, in everything, like a lamb, she obeyed his will and placed her happiness in his pleasure,” she loved him more than herself. (“Poor Liza” by N. Karamzin). Anna Karenina hoped to find the meaning of life in love for the handsome officer Alexei Vronsky. She leaves her husband and leaves her son, feeling like a criminal. Having violated the laws of duty and morality that reigned in society, she loses friends, everyone rejects her. Bottom line: the only way out she sees is death.
Katerina Kabanova (“The Thunderstorm” by A. Ostrovsky) also gave her heart to Boris. “If you had beckoned me, I would have followed you: even if you went to the ends of the world, I would still follow you and would not look back.” The duty of a woman, a wife, does not allow her to hide this connection from her husband, and, no longer able to withstand his despotism and the despotism of her mother-in-law, she rushes into the Volga. Bulgakov’s Margarita left her rich husband and devoted her life to the poor Master, and even paid with her earthly life for the right to remain with him in another life.
The “dowryless” Larisa Ogudalova is unable to resist her feelings. She leaves her fiancé and goes for a night walk with Sergei Paratov, who has already deceived her once. But she still hopes that he will marry her. Being deceived a second time. Larisa understands that she will never get married again. Dying at the hands of a jealous groom, she considers it a blessing.
Lara Guichard (“Doctor Zhivago” by B. Pasternak) says that if she had to choose between love and duty, then: “...I would not have resisted the call of the past, the call of fidelity. I would sacrifice everything, even the most precious.”
Feminism, by the way, which is marching all over the world, has practically not affected Russia. Paradoxical as it may seem, the reason is that it was Soviet Russia that became one of the first countries where women received equal rights with men, including the right to accessible, free higher education. Largely due to this, Russian women are famous for their intelligence. “How is a Russian blonde different from a woman in general? Russian blonde knows how to play chess.” This American joke perfectly characterizes the attitude towards the IQ of Russian ladies. Indeed, militant feminism in Russia is much less viable. Any woman here will be glad if they give her a seat on public transport, give her a hand when leaving, or open the door. Russia has a traditional view of the roles of men and women. A woman is a housewife and a mother. Yes, many girls strive to get a good education and succeed in the profession, but this does not in any way cancel families and the birth of children. It’s not for nothing that even the word “university” is jokingly deciphered as “to get married successfully.” Russian women often work not for a career, but for money - they simply cannot live on their spouse’s salary alone. And they remain diligent and energetic until old age.
In a word, the portrait of a Russian woman, regardless of the time and her position in society, is contradictory and has many faces. And the Russian female character is a mosaic of various feelings and actions, thoughts and emotions, from which the pattern of life is formed, bright and unique .
Poem “Princess M.N. Volkonskaya"
Summary of contents. The image of Princess Volkonskaya. Memoirs of the princess, reflecting her moral development
Poem “Princess M.N. Volkonskaya" consists of 6 chapters. The basis for its writing was Volkonskaya’s own memories. But Nekrasov not only conveyed in verse the events described by the princess, he paid special attention to changes in the character of the heroine, showed how from a secular woman, far from public life, the princess becomes a follower of the beliefs of her Decembrist husband. The image of Volkonskaya depicts a devoted wife, a woman-mother , a woman-grandmother who lives primarily with a loving heart. She is easy to communicate with people, kind and compassionate. But in difficult moments she is able to show strength of character and perseverance.
In her twilight years, Princess Volkonskaya talks about her life to her “prankish grandchildren.” She was born and spent her childhood on the estate of her father, who was a heroic participant in the war with the French. Masha grew up in a friendly family, was surrounded by love, and diligently studied languages and music. The old general gave balls, which were often attended by military men from the regiments stationed not far from the estate. Masha shone at balls, captivated many with her beauty, but her heart was free. When she turned 18, her father decided to marry her to General Sergei Volkonsky, who was much older than the girl. Masha did not contradict her father’s will, and two weeks later the wedding took place.
After the wedding, Maria rarely saw her husband, who was constantly leaving for work. While vacationing in Odessa, Sergei Volkonsky burned some documents one night and hastily took his wife to his father’s estate. There she gave birth to a son and was ill for a long time afterwards. The family hid from her that the prince, who returned to St. Petersburg, was arrested as a conspirator. He met his wife Trubetskoy on a date in the casemate of the Peter and Paul Fortress. They managed to secretly exchange scarves; in the corner of Sergei’s scarf, Masha read a few words from her husband: he wrote that she was free. Maria, who knew nothing about the conspiracy, after the verdict decided to go to Siberia after her husband. The whole family opposed her departure, trying to reason with her, begging her to think about her own future and not leave her son.
Volkonskaya with her son
Before leaving, Masha realized that for the first time in her life she was making her own conscious decision. Previously, she “couldn’t think at all,” her father thought for her, and she, obeying his will, lived carefree. Now she constantly thought about her husband, exhausted in prison. The princess, faced with a painful choice between her wife’s duty and her mother’s duty, decided to go to the one who “needs her more,” to the “one who is in captivity.” The princess addressed a letter to the sovereign with a request for permission to go to her husband. Maria Nikolaevna received an answer from Nicholas I, in which he politely agreed to leave, insidiously hinting at the impossibility of returning.
Having pawned her jewelry, Maria Nikolaevna bought a tent and warm clothes. Having prepared for the journey in three days, the princess spent her last night at the baby's cradle. Relatives did not believe in Maria’s departure until the last minute. The father, saying goodbye, promised to curse her if she did not return in a year. Driving through Moscow, the princess stopped with her husband's relative, said goodbye to many acquaintances, including Pushkin, who had many friends among the Decembrists.
On Volkonskaya’s journey, she encountered endless convoys, crowds of praying mantises, carts with newly recruited soldiers, she observed scenes of swearing and fights at post stations. In Kazan I made a stop a couple of hours before the New Year in a hotel, from the window of which I saw fun on the streets of the city. Without spending the night, we set off further on our journey. On the way, she was caught in a snowstorm; she had a chance to celebrate the New Year in a forest lodge with a coachman, who blocked the door with a large stone, fearing bears. In the Altai Mountains, the coachman did not hold back his horses, and the wagon fell from the slope, miraculously not breaking. In Irkutsk, she was tormented by persuasion and threats, like Trubetskaya, by the governor. After crossing Baikal, we had to change the wagon for a cart. In Nerchinsk, a rich merchant organized a holiday in her honor, and after a normal meal and a bath, she “slept like the dead” on the sofa in the living room for the entire holiday. Maria, who used to love balls, lost interest in them; simple everyday things were now more valuable to her: sleep, warmth, cleanliness, food. Having reached Nerchinsk, Maria Volkonskaya met with Ekaterina Trubetskoy.
Without waiting for permission to meet, Maria Nikolaevna got to the mine, where convicts were brought to work. Unable to resist the woman’s pleas, the sentry, refusing to take the money, let her into the mine shaft. For the prisoners, her appearance in the underground mine became a “descent into hell” of the “angel of God.” There she first saw her husband’s friends, then he himself, exhausted and exhausted, shackled. The princess, in an involuntary impulse, on her knees kissed her husband’s shackles and hugged him. The story ends with a hasty farewell and Trubetskoy’s words about an imminent meeting in prison.
Volkonskaya in the mine (still from the film)
With particular warmth, Princess Volkonskaya in her memoirs speaks of the kindness of ordinary people who unselfishly helped her on her difficult journey and in exile. Gratitude to everyone who eased her “unbearable burden” is heard in the words of the princess: “Thank you, Russian people!” None of those who helped her and gave her a place to stay took money. In Rus', giving shelter to a wanderer and showing concern for a person in trouble was considered a Christian deed. The princess sincerely addresses everyone who helped her: “Accept my low bow, poor people.” The suffering of Princess Volkonskaya brought her closer to the common people.
