How to find a compromise in business, in personal affairs or in friendship, this topical question always interests us.
It should be noted that people compromise in order to comply with certain conditions of mutual concession. Although in this case the result is not always 100% beneficial for both parties. Mostly people compromise to fit in, at least for a while. An ordinary family situation, the wife wants to watch her TV series, but the husband wants to watch football on another channel, and football and the TV series are on at the same time. The compromise in this case would be periodic switching from football to film. This, of course, will not completely satisfy the interests of the spouse, but the issue has been partially resolved.
How to find a compromise in everyday life - tips
In everyday life, finding a compromise is not such a harmless matter; it may be preferred by those who need to maintain a relationship, but at the same time, these people do not want to fully disclose their own positions, perhaps they are not even fully formed. It's difficult to collaborate when you yourself can't understand what you want. But giving in and offering something in between your opponent’s conditions is a good way out of the situation, because you don’t seem to become dependent.
If you find a compromise without any analysis of the situation, without evaluating other options, then it is not the best solution, the best way out of the situation.
In the following situations it is very convenient to find a compromise:
- if you understand that you cannot achieve more through cooperation;
- if it seems to you that it would be much wiser to give in than to stick to your line (mostly this behavior is characteristic of newlyweds who want to maintain a relationship);
- if your interests overlap and you cannot finish your business without each other;
- if otherwise you will lose altogether.
But, unfortunately, not all of the above approaches are immediate, because next time you will have to look for other ways to solve this or that problem. There are people who are conflict-free in life, they always want to find a compromise, and very often such people have a certain set of qualities. As a rule, this type of people likes a playful style of behavior, they can flatter you when necessary. But, unfortunately, such people are not always sincere and talk about what is. And sometimes such people simply move away from the topic if they understand that continuing to discuss this topic may lead to the disclosure of some information, which is very disadvantageous for such people.
Should you compromise in relationships?
I often meet couples for whom everything started out perfectly. They were happy and overwhelmed with feelings and emotions. After some time, everything changed for them. Eventually the relationship becomes just a habit. Perhaps these are just my impressions, but I think that there is an objective influence of everyday life, problems or revaluation of values. Or maybe the fact is that feelings “overflowed”? Life itself is difficult for a single person and even more difficult for two.
Relationships change a person. We change our habits, make concessions to strengthen and maintain relationships, but we do not always achieve results. And what you gave for the sake of your loved one is remembered better than what you received. And it’s scary to enter into a new relationship. It's scary to be disappointed, it's scary to end up alone again. Relationships are torn apart, like a piece of paper on which a love story was written, but the experience remains.
Is it necessary to make concessions to preserve the relationship? It's always difficult. People again and again, each time trying not to make mistakes, make compromises. As a result, they are left with nothing. Do you need to step over yourself for the sake of a loved one? Is he worth such sacrifices? Maybe you shouldn’t change at all and give in to another person, but you should just be who you are?
But, sad as it may be, firstly, it’s not always possible to find a person who will like you just the way you are. And secondly, even if you find something near and dear to you, it is not a fact that this will help in living together and solving everyday problems. Each person is individual and structured differently. You still have to adapt to each other.
It is best to make compromises in such a way that it does not interfere with your life, does not interfere with spiritual development, and does not create psychological discomfort. It is clear that when you agree to make concessions, you do it for the sake of love for the other person. But to love a person means to want that person's good, not what you think is good for him.
If one of the partners does not satisfy the need for psychological and spiritual growth, then sooner or later this problem will come to the surface. And the less this is discussed by you, the more unexpectedly it will break out in its entirety.
Therefore, if one of the couple feels insecure, or inadequate, or unable to love, then it is right to talk about it. His partner should not be frightened, avoid the conversation, and even more so mock his sincerity - but wait and achieve a compromise that would become the point of intersection of two personalities, perhaps different and at different levels of self-knowledge.
From my experience, I can say one thing: concessions are necessary and it is hard work in moral terms. Some things work out in compromises, and some are difficult, but this is for the benefit of both. The main thing is not to go over the edge, not to humiliate yourself, to have pride.
Is a person worth it? Everyone decides in their own way. For me: it’s worth it, not for the sake of the relationship, but for the sake of the loved one you have chosen.
Tags: couple relationships, man and woman, relationships
But not everyone agreed with the presented concept of recreating the external appearance of the building.
The concept of recreating the external appearance of Basevich’s house in the Petrogradsky district of the city was almost unanimously approved by members of the working group at KGIOP. In accordance with it, only the front part of the building will be preserved, and the courtyard wings will be demolished. At the same time, the architectural part can still be finalized, and the final decision on what will happen to the building, which will presumably house a boarding school for students of the Boris Eifman Dance Academy, has yet to be made by KGIOP. At the same time, city defenders are ready to go to court, believing that the building can be preserved in its entirety.
Yesterday, at a meeting of the working group under the Committee on State Control, Use and Protection of Historical and Cultural Monuments (KGIOP), the majority of its members, with the exception of two people (one abstained and one voted against), “agreed in principle” with the proposal presented by Project Culture LLC ( previously - LLC "Vladimir Grigoriev and Partners" of the current head of the committee on urban planning and architecture Vladimir Grigoriev) with the concept of recreating the external appearance of the apartment building of I. I. Basevich, located on Bolshaya Pushkarskaya Street, 7, lit. A, in the Petrogradsky district of St. Petersburg. In accordance with it, it is planned to preserve the five floors of the front wing of the historical building, recreate the emergency floor and attic, while the courtyard buildings should be demolished. City defenders, deputies, as well as some residents of the Petrogradsky district are opposed to the demolition of the historical building.
Deputy Chairman of the KGIOP Alexey Mikhailov called this conceptual solution a compromise, since it allows “to preserve the historical part of the building and reconstruct the object, breathing a new function into it.” During the current discussion, the designer was asked to consider the possibility of preserving the structures of the courtyard outbuildings. KGIOP emphasizes that this is still the concept stage; later, members of the working group will familiarize themselves with the preliminary design with visualization of architectural solutions.
Along with the neighboring house No. 9, lit. And, Basevich’s house should become part of a complex of buildings for the needs of St. Petersburg GBPOU “Boris Eifman Dance Academy” and St. Petersburg State Budgetary Institution “Boris Eifman Academic Ballet Theater”. Smolny confirmed to Kommersant that the historical building was assigned to the academy by order of the property relations committee, adding that the process of transferring the facility is currently underway. At the same time, the press service of the academy told Kommersant that Basevich’s house has never been and is not on the balance sheet or in the operational management of the academy, as a number of media outlets previously stated. At the same time, the information that the city authorities approved a project to improve the living conditions of academy students and the opening of an additional boarding school at Bolshaya Pushkarskaya, 9 (adjacent to Basevich’s house) was confirmed.
“The Boris Eifman Dance Academy never had any intention of demolishing Basevich’s house or any other building. Only competent specialists can decide what needs to be done with a particular house - major repairs, reconstruction or new construction: architects, designers and builders, but not teachers or ballet dancers,” emphasize the press service of the Boris Eifman Dance Academy, adding that at the same time it is obvious that the longer work is delayed on this house, the more it deteriorates.
Alexander Kononov, deputy chairman of the council of the St. Petersburg city branch of VOOPIiK, added that he strongly opposes the demolition of historical buildings. “There are no plans to save anything here except half of the front building. If, after the contractor has submitted the architectural part of the project, KGIOP issues a positive conclusion on it, then we will have every reason to challenge this decision in court. It does not correspond to any regime of protected zones. According to our technical examination, half of the main walls are not in emergency condition and there are no grounds for total demolition,” Mr. Kononov is confident.
Alexey Shashkin, a restoration engineer of the highest category, believes that this building is in disrepair and is dangerous for those who try to save, restore or preserve it.
LLC “Project Culture” told Kommersant that the organization does not provide comments and interviews “in principle,” so to get answers to the correspondent’s questions about possible changes to the concept, as well as sources of financing for the work of the design bureau to prepare project proposals for Bacevich's house failed.
Just a year and a half ago, one-time funding for charity was provided by Setl Group, but currently the company has nothing to do with the project, said a representative of the developer, without specifying the amount of funds provided for this.
Maria Kuznetsova
Air sellers
According to experts, this phrase stops many. It is one thing to check and buy an apartment from the developer, this scheme has already been worked out, or to purchase housing through purchase and sale from another individual. But the prospect of buying an unfinished, that is, not yet available in nature object that has already been purchased by someone, frightens many. After all, the primary market is primary because the apartment should go to its owner literally untouched.
However, in fact, there are many reasons why an unfinished apartment can be sold. One of them, of course, justifies the buyer's fears. Sometimes they want to assign the rights of claim (precisely claims, since the apartment itself does not yet exist) for housing if the first buyer has learned something unflattering about the developer. For example, a person acquired these very rights of claim (in other words, he bought an apartment on the primary market, in an unfinished building) and soon learned that this developer was unreliable, his previous projects were delivered with a great delay, and he was already suing his shareholders. Of course, you had to check this before purchasing, but under time pressure, when every day there are fewer and fewer liquid “one-room” ones, you can easily lose your vigilance. According to realtors, such cases are not uncommon in the market.
But much more often, investment apartments are sold by assignment of rights of claim. Investors monitor the market situation, assess the possible benefits, which most often depend on the speed of construction of the house, and buy housing at the earliest stages of construction. Then, after a couple of years, when there is very little time left before the house is put into operation and it is quite easy to find a buyer, the investor sells this property at a premium. Usually it turns out cheaper than from the developer, whose proposals by that time have already seriously increased in price. This option is also beneficial for the buyer: the risks of “unfinished construction” are minimized.
Finally, no one canceled the notorious “family circumstances”. Some marriages break up much faster than a house is built, and then the apartment, which was supposed to become a family nest, turns out to be just a reminder of the divorce. Such split cells of society are ready to sell the rights of claim without a markup at all, just to quickly close this issue. The buyer can only spend time and figure out which of the listed cases his assignment applies to.
How to teach a teenager to make decisions together with his significant other?
Making decisions together is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Let's consider it.
Tell the teenager to strive to win a joint victory in an argument with the girl.
During disputes, both parties to the relationship try to prove that only they are right. But this method of resolving the conflict is not effective. Because it leads to even greater disagreements.
Instead, the teenager needs to learn to listen to the words of his girlfriend. And teach her to do the same in relation to him. This must be done so that the teenager and the girl learn to achieve understanding. And make a joint decision on various issues that is guaranteed to satisfy everyone.
Teach your teenager to consider every situation from an objective point of view
Any situation needs to be considered from different angles. Write a list of its advantages. And also disadvantages.
You need to work through the problem according to the following principle. The teenager and his girlfriend must describe their way of solving the problem. Indicate its advantages and disadvantages. This must be done objectively.
After which the teenagers should sit opposite each other. And try to come to a conclusion together about what to do next. Perhaps one of the parties will like one of the options.
Tell your teenager to brainstorm with his girlfriend
When a teenager discusses a certain issue with his girlfriend, he must act actively. Consult with her. And sketch out ideas for solving problems. And also give the opportunity to offer a solution to her.
Brainstorming is an ideal way to achieve some understanding. Thanks to him, the teenager will be able to figure out how to achieve what he wants. And he will easily come to a joint decision. Show the girl her importance.
Tell your teenager to speak up if he disagrees with his significant other.
If a teenager is categorically not satisfied with his beloved’s proposal, then he must tell her about it. And defend your opinion to the end. Under no circumstances should you give in to slack in an argument. Otherwise, next time the girl will not take into account the teenager’s opinion. And he will try to crush him under himself.
Encourage your teen to openly ask and express their opinions
A teenager must behave openly. His task is to try to clarify any points that are unclear to him. If he doesn’t understand something, then let him ask the girl about it. Dialogue is the key to success during communication. Only with the help of it can one find one or another compromise.
When searching for a compromise, a teenager needs to be calm
Very often, a compromise cannot be found due to excessively intense emotions. Due to the fact that one of the partners is too biased towards the other. Angry. And he tries to defend his opinion aggressively.
When searching for a compromise, you should never show emotion. A teenager needs to be as calm as possible. And also cold-blooded. Only in this case will he be able to reach a compromise with his soulmate. If he shows emotions, he will get angry. And there will be no dialogue.
Tell your teenager not to raise his voice
Explain to your teenager that raising your voice while searching for a compromise is under no circumstances recommended. Otherwise, the interlocutor will do the same. And they'll just start yelling at each other. Which will end pretty badly. After all, dialogue will not work.
Instead, the teenager should try to speak calmly. In this case, his interlocutor will be better tuned to the conversation. It will be easier for her to perceive the information. And, as a result, it will be easier for a couple in love to reach one or another compromise.
If your teenager starts to get angry, encourage him to breathe. In this case he will calm down. Will be able to easily continue the conversation further.
Encourage your teen to try to understand the other person's motives.
Advise your teenager to try to get into his girlfriend's position. Let her try to understand what motivates her. Why does she want the solution to be this way? Perhaps empathy will allow the teenager to understand what the girl wants. As a result, it will be easier for the teenager to win. And offer your own solution to the problem.
Recommend that the teenager listen to the interlocutor and understand her
During a dialogue, a teenager must not only speak. His job is to listen. Understand what the interlocutor wants to convey to him.
When searching for a compromise, a teenager needs to listen to his other half. And also ask guiding questions if something is not clear. Also, encourage your teenager to make eye contact during dialogue. So that his interlocutor understands: the dialogue is ongoing. And they listen to him.
Recommend that the teenager be willing to look for a compromise
Explain to your teenager that finding a compromise is very important. Because only with the help of it can one come to a high-quality solution to the issue. Accordingly, it is almost always recommended to seek a compromise. Except in those cases when a teenager really needs to defend his rights to the last. Otherwise, his reputation in the girl’s eyes may suffer.
Tell your teenager to learn to make compromises in everyday life
At the same time, it is absolutely not necessary to try to reach a compromise proposed by the other party. Encourage your teen to learn to come up with ideas on his own. And try to make the other person follow them. I tried to resolve the issue in a way that was convenient for the teenager.
For example, you can offer a compromise according to the following principle. If your significant other asks you to do something, then next time she should do the same. For example, if a girl asks a teenager to sweep the floor, then the next day she will also have to sweep the floor. And so on.
If a girl invites a teenager to do something that is not interesting to him, then he can do it. But let him add a few additional tasks here. The ones he came up with. And those that he needs to do. To combine business with pleasure.
Also, a compromise can be found when cleaning the house. For example, you can distribute tasks equally. Make it so that the teenager sweeps, washes the floor and dishes, and the girl irons, washes and cooks. It's a pretty equal distribution of responsibilities. Which should please both sides of the dialogue.
Tell your teenager not to quarrel while searching for compromises.
A lot of couples cannot calmly find compromises. They start quarreling. Calling names, swearing. As a result, a banal search for a compromise turns into a skirmish.
Because of this, relationships begin to deteriorate. Despite the fact that the problem remains unresolved. To prevent this from happening, encourage your teenager to remain calm. And be prepared for the fact that you may not like his ideas. Otherwise, the situation may end negatively.
When looking for a compromise, you need to offer objective ideas
Teach your teenager to offer really high-quality solutions to problems. Those that are guaranteed to suit your other half. If the teenager understands that he is offering a method that is beneficial only for one party (him), then he should refuse it.
Otherwise, it will be disadvantageous for the other half. She will refuse the proposed compromise. And the teenager will have a quarrel. As a result, everyone will get angry. And the problem will not be solved.
