How to find an approach to people. How to approach a guy

The right approach to a man

Some people express emotions vigorously, others - restrainedly, but behind any external manifestations there can be hidden both a sensitive and cold nature. It happens that you open your whole soul to seemingly emotional people, hoping for understanding, but suddenly you encounter icy insensibility, and then you learn with horror that your frankness has been abused, used against you. And at the same time, you may well not see another, truly sensitive person hiding behind a mask of cold restraint. How to find an approach to a man, knowing his nature?

How to approach a cold man?

A cold person is concerned only with himself. This is worth remembering when you decide to find an approach to a man. Pay attention first of all to a person’s ability to empathize and understand. Share with him some of your experiences (preferably about something that is not too significant for you). For example, say that you are so tired at work that your mood has deteriorated, you have become sad to the point of tears and you don’t know what to do about it. To find an approach to a man, watch his reaction. Did he ignore your words, react formally, saying some routine empty phrase, or, even worse, waved you off, or even laughed? Even if outwardly this man looks emotional, at heart he is cold, and in the future it is better not to count on his sympathy. A cold person is usually selfish. Most of all, he is concerned with himself, his experiences and the impression he makes. If his self-esteem is hurt, he can be touchy and hot-tempered. Which does not exclude emotional coldness towards other people.

Cold men in conversation, as a rule, carefully avoid all topics that, as it seems to them, may threaten their well-being. They protect themselves from other people's problems, strong emotions and passions. Other people often feel a certain distance when communicating with them. At the same time, cold men may outwardly seem very sociable, but this sociability is most often superficial, remember this when you decide to find an approach to a man. They avoid serious and deep discussion of problems and clarification of relationships. Sometimes they even resign themselves to the appearance of well-being, just so as not to disturb their peace. Take this feature into account - and simply avoid everything that concerns experiences and emotions when communicating with such a man. Speak on intellectual topics, discuss all sorts of practical issues (from the design of a spaceship to mastering a new crocheting technique). Perhaps you will get a lot of benefit from such communication and learn a lot of new and interesting things for yourself.

How to approach a sensitive man?

A sensitive person is the perfect vest to cry on. To find an approach to such a man, know that you can and should talk to him about experiences and emotions. The same phrase of yours that a cold person will ignore, a sensitive person will definitely respond with a sincere reaction. He may not say anything or say only a few words - but you will see his response to your words on his face. Maybe he will just smile and say: “Don’t be sad,” but you will understand that this is a person who is capable of deeply feeling and understanding the feelings of another. Such people are capable of loving strongly and deeply.

Men are friendly, peace-loving and perfect for the role of a vest in which you can cry. Sometimes they lack a positive outlook on life. Therefore, do not abuse the kindness of sensitive people, do not overload them with your problems - find an opportunity to respond to them with warmth and sympathy. Sensitive men are impressionable - so to find an approach to a man, help him receive more pleasant and joyful experiences. It’s easy to upset them, but it’s also easy to inspire them, to instill hope and joy in life. And then they begin to perceive life in all its fullness and generously share the overflowing joy with everyone around them.

When should you show composure to approach a man?

Remember that in some situations you need to show composure - but this does not mean that you should become a cold person. For example, composure is necessary when we are overwhelmed by anger or other negative emotions. In such a situation, learn to look at your emotions as if from the outside. For example, imagine that fifty years have passed. Look at the situation that makes you angry from the future. Will she be as important to you as she is now? Ask yourself a question: when you are angry, offended, irritated - for what reason does this happen? Is it because you are a sensitive person, or because your pride and selfishness suffer? Alas, outbursts of emotion most often indicate selfishness, not sensitivity.

How to find an approach to a man?

Sensitivity is manifested in the ability to understand and empathize, in the ability to subtly feel the shades of mood of both one’s own and other people, as well as in the ability to see and perceive the beauty of the world, nature, and art. Therefore, the life of a sensitive person is much fuller and richer than that of a cold person. While you learn to control negative emotions, you also develop your sensitivity. Start by looking at someone you know with a new, more interested eye.

It is not necessary to demonstrate this interest to him - just set yourself the goal of understanding how this person feels, what his mood is, what he may be worried about and worried about. You may unexpectedly discover a lot of new things in this person - see the hidden inner state that is hidden behind the appearance. If you want to tell this person some words of support, approval, or simply inquire about his well-being, do so. When you learn to notice the experiences of other people, the world will become much fuller and richer for you. But just don’t let everyone who doesn’t mind crying into your vest abuse your sensitivity. With this knowledge, you will be guided on how to approach a man of any nature.

August 14, 2020 at 2:18 pm

Veronica Stepanova

How to find an approach to people with different temperaments

Have you asked yourself why, when communicating in a team, the same conversation (message, news) evokes different reactions in people? Some immediately show keen interest in the topic, others show complete indifference and indifference. It’s all very simple: the characteristics of different temperaments are obvious. Let's try to find an approach to people with different types of temperament, using basic data on psychology.

Choleric

Endowed with an impulsive temperament, loves, does not tolerate falsehood in words and actions.
Having a dispute with a choleric person? Do not rush to criticize him, and even more so, do not raise your tone - everything will result in a huge scandal. When starting a serious conversation, prepare clear and compelling arguments in advance; at the end of the conversation, be sure to thank for the constructive dialogue, and you will have a chance that the choleric person will change his mind and concede in the dispute.

It can also be noted that choleric people do not like to be spoken to in a quiet and indistinct voice, but they love to give instructions and advice.

Ask the choleric person to explain or show how he would do this or that thing correctly.

Sanguine

Strives to please everyone and arouse interest among people around him.
A sanguine person will not tolerate boredom and indifference, so do not cease to surprise and delight him. If you strive to constantly show interest and curiosity about hobbies, positively evaluate and constantly encourage, you will not have to wait long for a reaction.
This type of temperament is characterized by disorganization and lack of discipline, therefore, try to check joint plans (scheduled meetings), but delicately.

Phlegmatic person

This type is slow by nature and cannot act or make decisions quickly.
Phlegmatic people are secretive emotionally and stingy in expressing feelings, but if you want to find an approach to a person with this type of character, learn to recognize his feelings at the level of intuition.
Phlegmatic people often underestimate their abilities and capabilities, so believe in them and help them overcome doubts in their abilities and inhibitions.

Melancholic

A melancholic person has a delicate, vulnerable and very vulnerable nature.
If you want to find, prepare in advance for whims, grievances, complaints and ailments. Don't be stingy and generously give your attention.

In nine out of ten cases, a melancholic person will refuse an offer to go for a walk, a hike or a cultural event.

He loves solitude and would prefer a quiet evening together in a quiet home environment over noisy company.
Melancholic and punctuality are incompatible things; for him, time flows differently than for other people. Therefore, if you have an appointment or meeting, be prepared to wait.

Remember: no people are so complex that you can’t figure them out and find an approach. The main thing is to want it! And take into account the tips described above.

The most important formula for success is knowing how to treat people.

Theodore Roosevelt

As you already guessed, we will talk about techniques and techniques that evoke unconscious sympathy and trust in the interlocutor

, as a result of which you can convince a person that you are right, persuade them to your point of view, force them to say “yes”. In the first part of the article, we will look at how to find an approach and find the key to another person.

Communication between people begins with the communication of their eyes. A glance is the first step on the road to your interlocutor. An open look helps convey to your interlocutor the meaning of your words and monitor his reaction. If we avoid such a view, then this gives rise to serious distrust and antipathy on the part of our communication partners. It seems, in fairness, it is not always correct that a person hides or withholds some information...

The movement of your body, posture, gestures say a lot about you, sometimes even what you cannot express in words. When you are calm and friendly, you convey a feeling of well-being to the other person. Arms crossed on your chest, legs crossed in a standing position, jaw thrust forward, tense posture without words speak about your negative attitude towards the interlocutor or the situation, and make it difficult to communicate, mutual understanding, and obtaining his consent.

Openness to the interlocutor is indicated by: a natural straight back, a turn of the body in his direction, arms turned towards the interlocutor, a friendly smile, unbuttoned outerwear, approving nods of the head, keen interest in the conversation, reducing the distance with another person, touching his hand - if the interlocutor doesn’t mind and doesn’t start to move away.

To make your words more convincing, sales experts recommend making an “addition” or rapport to your interlocutor. Rapport

- this is an emotional and intellectual connection established between people in the process of their communication and based on mutual sympathy and understanding. It assumes:

accepting the partner’s posture and repeating his basic gestures;
adopting his emotional mood (this works better for women);
adapting to the pace and volume of his speech;
the use of individual words and expressions characteristic of him in his statements;
adjustment to the partner's breathing rhythm.

The main thing in all this is that your “extension” looks natural and does not catch the eye.

And regardless of the situation, when you speak in a calm, confident, trusting, intonation-colored voice, you give greater persuasiveness to your words.

In order to make a person feel positive towards you from the very beginning of the conversation, use techniques to attract attention:

address by name (if you don’t know the name, use polite address);
appeal to the interests of the interlocutor;
acceptance of empathy, complicity,
a humorous, harmless (!) remark to defuse the situation.

This way you establish initial consent. The next stage in effective communication is unifying interest. To do this, the points of contact between the interests of the interlocutors, their similarity in anything, the commonality of your views, experience, plans, etc. are emphasized. The more similarities you find, the easier it will be for you to convince your interlocutor in the future. (“You and I understand the subtleties of the situation...”) Therefore, if possible, be aware of information about how he lives, what he is like, tactfully ask about his problems and plans, try to see the picture of the world through his eyes.

When perceiving the personality traits and characteristics of another person during contact interaction, a curious psychological phenomenon occurs: the “revision effect” through personal meaning. In such a situation, a person perceives the qualities of another in constant correlation with his own qualities. At the same time, he usually imagines that the same actions are being carried out in relation to himself. The revision effect, in turn, causes a psychological resonance or attunement to one emotional wave, speeds up and improves the interaction of communication partners.

You can move on to the main part of the conversation, being almost sure of its positive outcome when.

This question has been facing the weaker sex for centuries, but precise instructions for the “ordinary man” have not yet been invented. Surprisingly, the more society develops, the more technology it masters, the less mutual understanding between the sexes becomes. Each of us plunges headlong into the crazy rhythm of life, sometimes not noticing the simplest and most obvious things. A hundred years ago, the main task of a woman was to create comfort and harmony in the family. Our great-grandmothers knew from their girlhood how to approach a man and, at the same time, they had neither the Internet nor a TV.