10 things you shouldn't do when visiting

There are a huge number of etiquette rules that relate to a wide variety of areas of human life. It is simply impossible to know them all thoroughly. Therefore, Joinfo.ua decided to remind you of some principles that a well-mannered person should never violate when he comes to visit.

Rules of conduct when visiting

(Judging by the first comments, they are absolutely unnecessary for a modern guest)
It would seem, well, what’s so difficult about being a guest? But in fact, etiquette for guests is

dictates many rules that must be followed if you want to continue to be invited to visit.

So, here are the rules of behavior when visiting:

Rule 1. Don't be late when invited to visit. Arriving in advance is also not

follows. Try to be punctual. Etiquette allows an inaccuracy of 5 minutes.

Rule 2. It is not customary to come to visit empty-handed. Your gift is not necessary

must be expensive. You can buy something for tea, sweets and toys for children.

Rule 3. If you go to a reception with several guests, take care of a spare change

shoes for yourself. This will save the hostess from having to provide for all the guests.

slippers, and dress shoes will suit your evening outfit much better than house slippers.

Rule 4. Having taken off your outerwear and changed your shoes, go to the room offered to you. You shouldn’t wander around your home without permission and look behind every door, as you can put the owners in an awkward position. Etiquette does not accept such behavior.

Rule 5. After you have been introduced to the guests already present, stand politely

smile and express joy at the acquaintance. After which you can join

Rule 6. If you meet a person among the guests who is unpleasant to you, do not

It's worth starting a quarrel with him. To bow out prematurely on this occasion would also be

ugly. Try not to pay attention to the enemy.

Rule 7. If you are planning a feast, ask where you can wash your hands and how

use a towel after this. It is advisable to do this before guests are invited to dine.

Rule 8. A place at the table, if you have not been assigned in advance, you can take any place at your discretion, except where the hosts plan to sit (usually these are the end seats closer to the exit, to make it more convenient to look after the guests during the feast).

Rule 9. You must be able to use cutlery, as well as know the general rules of behavior at the table.

Rule 10. At the same time, it is tactless to focus everyone’s attention on your great knowledge of etiquette. Especially, point out to the hostess her possible mistakes.

Rule 11. Have your hosts prepared an entertainment program for you? Don't be capricious and

support their endeavors.

Rule 12. Usually the reception ends after dessert is served. If you must leave early, do not draw the attention of other guests to your departure.

Say goodbye only to the owners, apologizing and explaining the reason why you

having to leave them so early.

Rule 13. When leaving guests, be sure to thank the hosts for their hospitality, praise the dishes you liked and the warm atmosphere of the reception. It is good form to respond

Reservation and check-in

Of course, you can book a room at the last minute, but it is better to do it in advance, which guarantees that you will receive accommodation of the optimal category at a favorable price. Most hotels only ask for a passport upon check-in, but it’s still worth taking your reservation confirmation with you, either electronically or printed. Prepare all documents in advance so as not to delay administrators and other guests awaiting check-in. Be polite and don’t make trouble, even if some difficulties arise - as a rule, everything is decided in favor of the guests.

How should you leave your room when leaving the hotel? 6 recommendations from maids:

Communication with maids

Cleaning rooms every day is hard work that deserves respect. Try to follow simple rules for communicating with maids. You should not enter into conversations with them; it is better to leave the room so as not to disturb them. If cleaning is not part of your plans, use a special sign. If you forgot to hang it on the door handle, politely refuse to clean it or ask to move it. And under no circumstances open the door undressed.

To make the work of staff easier, do not throw things around, especially garbage. Place dirty towels in one pile and leave those that don’t need changing where they are.

When visiting you need to use

Receiving guests at home

- this is a troublesome matter. Personally, I prefer to celebrate all celebrations in a cafe. But, on the other hand, when guests periodically appear in the house, the house seems to come to life. It’s especially nice if your guests liked it and said that they would be happy to come to you again. Unfortunately, you don’t always feel “at ease” when you come to visit. How can you welcome guests at home so that they feel comfortable and you enjoy it? Let's try to avoid the most common mistakes when hosting guests.

Meeting with guests

The most appropriate meeting of the guest

- this is cordiality and personal greeting. Agree, you don’t feel very good when you ring the doorbell, a lathered-up hostess runs out, shouting: “Come in quickly, otherwise my pie is on fire.” Prepare all the main dishes in advance so that you can greet your guests at the appointed hour in a beautiful dress, makeup and an expression of joy on your face. The arriving guest must be helped to undress and take off his shoes, take his outerwear and hang it in the designated place.

The first inconvenience arises

it is here, when you are left to your own devices at the entrance, that you awkwardly squeeze your coat onto a common hanger, from where it safely falls, and you try to place your shoes in the free space, where, as it turns out later, you can’t put them, because the owners’ small child loves to crawl there. To avoid such awkwardness, organize the first steps of the guest in your home. As for the shoes in which the guest will walk on your “carpeted parquet floors,” the options are as follows. If this is a celebration where people will come in elegant dresses, then it is better at the time of the invitation to ask them to take their shoes with them.

Agree, lady in evening dress

will feel more comfortable in shoes than in worn-out indoor slippers. But without prior warning from the hostess, guests are unlikely to think of taking shoes, and then, suddenly, you have expensive parquet flooring that can be scratched by heels. If friends are just going to sit in a pleasant company, offer slippers, but don’t insist. Your job is to offer. Maybe the guest will be more comfortable barefoot than grandpa's size 46 slippers. “Where can I get so many slippers for everyone?” you will be indignant. I give free advice: when you travel and stay in decent hotels, they give you a robe and slippers. These slippers are disposable and are thrown away after use by the guest anyway. Therefore, you can safely expropriate them and create your own collection of slippers for guests. My guests even have their favorites: “I’d like my French slippers, please!”

After the guest enters the living room

, he must be introduced to other guests if they are not familiar. The hostess should also seat the guests at the table, because this is also one of the “leading” awkwardnesses - where to sit. Seat your guests so that they feel comfortable sitting next to each other, and sit on the edge, as expected, so that you can serve or remove something without disturbing the guests.

This is interesting: Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz

Another important point when meeting guests

: invite them to wash their hands and immediately show them where the toilet is if it’s your first time as a guest. Some invitees will simply be embarrassed by this natural procedure. Don't forget to have a few clean hand towels in the bathroom to prevent guests from getting lost in your bath sheets or wiping their hands on your foot towel.

The main thing is to feed and drink!

Yes, of course. But the height of indecency

- force them to do it. A normal adult will decide for himself what he wants to eat. Therefore, all treats should be on the table on common dishes. There is no need to take the guest’s plate and put “a little bit of everything on it, otherwise he will be embarrassed,” except if the guest himself asked to look after him in this way. When preparing dishes for a celebration, it would be fair to ask whether any guest is on a diet or fasting. In this case, the menu should include lean and dietary dishes.

Respect the traditions and tastes of the invited person

, there is no need to exclaim: “Don’t show off, dear! There’s just a little sour cream in there, it won’t harm your post!” It is better to immediately tell such a guest what dishes have been prepared taking into account his needs, and then let him decide for himself whether he should “sin” with the sausage or not. And even more so, never force a guest to drink alcohol! Honestly, I don’t want to go to visit those who force you to drink alcohol, while blackmailing your loved ones: “Do you respect me?” Alcohol is a personal and voluntary matter. It is better if you have several alcoholic drinks prepared to choose from, and not so that on command we all drink cognac together.

Check the presence of devices near each

plates during table setting. It will be very awkward for the guest to tell you about the absence of a glass or fork when everyone has already raised their glasses for the first toast. Having a table knife is a must, even if you personally think it’s overkill for a home meal. Take care of the cutlery on common dishes, which will be convenient for putting salad or meat with gravy on your plate. It’s inconvenient to “shovel” food from a shared salad bowl with your used fork. Expressions like “everyone here is friendly” are good to a certain extent, when informal behavior at the table fits within the framework of household etiquette and hygiene. For example, it is not at all necessary to serve a dessert knife and fork with cakes, following the rules of high restaurant etiquette. Guests can easily take these cakes with their hands. And for a cake with cream, just a teaspoon will do. And don't forget that coffee or tea is served without sugar. Sugar, cream, honey are placed separately on the table. There is a separate spoon for sugar, and each cup of tea (coffee) has its own teaspoon. Everyone's taste for sweetness in hot drinks is different. You can’t ask “who needs how much sugar” and add it yourself.

Thank you for leaving

See off guests

- this is art. Even more than meeting. After all, according to etiquette, it is believed that the guest should not suspect the “long wait” of his departure. Here you can spin as you want, but hints about leaving should be transparent. Although, Uncle Vasya, a well-tipsy relative, can be frankly sent away by wishing him good night. If guests don’t understand your hints when you fall “happy, but very tired” on the sofa and continue a nice conversation while eating the last piece of cake, ask how many taxis they should order. We must understand.

The hint is more than frank

, and seemed to take care of the guests. At parting, you don’t need to tell your guest how hard it was for you to organize this banquet, and how much money was spent and your nerves were frayed. The person should leave with a clear desire to return to visit you as soon as possible!

— We recommend visiting our section with interesting materials on similar topics

"Psychology of Relationships"

In the room

During your stay, you cannot spoil or break things in the room - you will be asked to reimburse the cost of repairs. If you find that something no longer works, immediately report it to the reception so as not to become the culprit of the breakdown in the eyes of the hotel staff. Try not to turn on loud music and TV; perhaps the hotel has poor sound insulation, and people are relaxing in the next room. If the situation is the opposite - the neighbors are noisy, do not create a scandal: contact the administrator, let him solve the problem.

Under no circumstances take anything from your room when checking out: bathrobes, towels, slippers, dishes and any other reusable items are hotel property that you simply steal. If you really want to take something as a souvenir, take cosmetic accessories - shampoos, soap and other consumables. And if you like a robe or slippers, offer to buy them at the reception desk.

Let's go visit

  1. Before coming to visit, you need to agree with the owner. Unexpected visits are liked by few and are used in extreme cases;
  2. If after two rings or knocks on the door no one opens, then it’s time to leave. It doesn't matter whether anyone is home or not. But you definitely don’t need to stand under the door and bang on it;
  3. It’s better not to go to visit “empty-handed.” It is advisable to prepare some kind of gift before going on a visit, perhaps even a small one, but the owner of the house will be pleased.
  4. The fact that you need to say hello when meeting is already clear. But when you come to visit, especially express your joy and gratitude for the reception;
  5. When visiting, well-mannered children behave with restraint. Small children also need to make less noise or run around;
  6. You don't have to say everything you think out loud. This also applies to the assessment of the apartment or house where the guest came;
  7. You can’t ask how much something from the apartment’s interior cost. You can’t touch everything that’s on the shelves and look at it. If you want to take something, you must first ask the owner;
  8. You shouldn’t stay too long at a party, so as not to tire anyone;
  9. You can’t ask to pour tea or cook dinner yourself;
  10. Before you leave, be sure to thank the owner for the good welcome and say goodbye.
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