8 ways to persuade your husband to have a child

Prepare for a conversation with your spouse about children

Think about what you will say. In what order? Gather the arguments you will use. And also think about other features of the conversation.

The conversation about having a child is a very important one. It needs to be thought through to the smallest detail. So that it becomes effective and bears fruit. Led to what I wanted. To ensure that the husband agrees to have a child.

It is not recommended to start a conversation unprepared. You won't be able to influence your husband enough by improvising. It will be quite difficult to do this without preparation.

Talk to your spouse regularly about the child.

This will help work through it. It is necessary to plant in his head the idea that doing this is necessary. Also, if you talk to your husband regularly, it will have a positive effect on him.

He will understand that dialogues about this will take place every week. As a result, he will be able to prepare for the next conversation. Prepare a series of arguments why he is against having a child. And also think through some theses. As a result, it will be easier for you to understand how to convince him of the need to have a child. Because you will hear his position.

Talk to your spouse about what they are afraid of.

If your spouse is afraid to have children, then talk to him about the reasons for this decision. It is quite possible that he has some concerns. Your job is to find out which ones. And then work through them. Explain that these fears will have nothing to do with real life.

For example, a spouse may be afraid of:

• Responsibility.
• Problems with money.
• Moving away from you.

And other consequences of having a child. At this stage, you will need to listen as carefully as possible to your spouse's thoughts. And try to understand him.

Keep in mind that your spouse is a person just like you. He has the right to independently decide whether to have children or not. If he doesn't want a baby, then don't put pressure on him. This issue can only be resolved through dialogue.

Listen to what your spouse says

During the conversation, be sure to listen to your spouse’s arguments. Chances are you won't be happy with what he says. However, it is still very important to do this.

At this stage, you need to find out why your spouse does not want to have a baby. Let him speak. Do not argue under any circumstances. Also, there is no need to interrupt your spouse. If something said makes you angry, take a few deep breaths. And calm down. It is pointless to continue talking about the child in a raised voice.

Tell your spouse about your concerns

Share your concerns with your spouse. And also fears. These actions will allow you to be open with your spouse. Also, this will allow your husband to understand that you feel the same. If he understands that he is not alone, he will be able to have a child more easily. And he won’t have to be pushed into it for too long.

Talk to your spouse about finances

Explain to your spouse that having a child will not put too much strain on your family's finances. In fact, this problem is quite important. And it becomes the main reason why many families do not want to have a child.

It is very easy to mitigate the problem. Explain to your husband that you can feed your child. Because you earn decent money together with him. Which is quite enough to support the baby.

Explain to your spouse that there is no point in delaying the birth of a child.

Tell your spouse that, unlike men, women have certain recommended dates for having children. Explain that the older you get, the harder it is to have a baby. And the more difficult it is to bear it.

You can put a little pressure on your spouse. Say that you need to give birth in the near future. Otherwise, in a few years you will lose this opportunity.

My husband doesn’t want children - reasons and tips to help solve the problem

Why the husband does not want children - in each case there are individual reasons. This could be various kinds of fears or unwillingness to take on the responsibility of becoming a parent due to building a career. Sometimes a man does not want to become a father at all, deciding to live his life the way he wants.

My husband doesn't want children - reasons

In order to understand the reasons why the husband does not want to have children, you need to look at them very closely. So, the most common reasons:

1. He's like a big child himself!
   This often happens and the name for this phenomenon is infantilism. More often than not, such a man is spoiled, he is the only child of his parents, and all the laurels and honors went to him, even as an adult he does not want to share his wife’s attention with anyone.
2. No confidence in your soulmate
   . This is the case when the wife cheated on her husband at least once, he is afraid that the child may not be his, another thing: the man has lost interest in his soul mate and is looking towards divorce and marriage to someone else.
3. Financial reason
   . The husband does not stand strong enough on his feet and earns little, or his earnings depend on seasonality and are unstable. Men consider the mortgage situation to be a valid reason, when most of the earnings are spent on repaying the loan, so the decision to have a child becomes postponed until better times.
4. The desire to live for oneself
   . The husband does not want to have children immediately after marriage. And this decision may seem sensible, because spouses need to get used to each other for a year or two. It could also be pure selfishness. A heart-to-heart conversation will help clarify your husband’s reluctance to have a child.
5. Medical and psychological reasons
   . A man may hide his inability to have children, covering it up as an unwillingness to have them. A serious reason may be the presence in the husband’s parental family of severe genetic or mental illnesses or disorders among brothers or sisters and other close relatives; a man may decide not to have a child and psychologically it will be difficult to convince him if he has taken on such responsibility not to continue the family. .

Why doesn't my husband want a second child?

In a woman, the need for offspring is more pronounced than in men - this is how her nature is realized, the body sometimes against its will makes it clear that “it wants another child.” Why doesn’t the husband want children just as much? Where there is one, there is a second, but no, the husband resists, sometimes with a harsh ultimatum. The reasons here are also different:

• the first child is still very small and for a man this is a lot of stress - again not sleeping at night, continuous worries;
• financial responsibility falls entirely on the shoulders of the man, and this becomes a difficult ordeal to provide for four family members at once, including the man himself;
• a housing problem, for example, a family is huddled in a one-room apartment and there are no prospects for purchasing more spacious housing in the next few years;
• the husband simply does not like children, and one child is the limit for him.

My husband doesn't want a child together

The question of why a husband does not want children from his second wife is difficult to answer unequivocally; often, if there are several children left in the first marriage, the man feels fulfilled in fatherhood.

This may be a feeling of guilt in front of the children left behind, and fear that he will not be able to help them if other children appear in the new family.

Often these are psychological reasons that take time to overcome.

My husband doesn't want a child, but I'm pregnant

It happens that a woman has a situation when a man does not want a child, “but I’m pregnant.” What to do in this case? You need to understand that the responsibility lies with both and it is no secret for a woman that her husband does not want a child; such things are discussed by the spouses at the very beginning. Therefore, there are several options for the development of the situation:

1. The husband’s righteous anger at the fact that his wife’s responsibility was violated, for example, the woman decided for two and neglected contraception, the man feels infringed and “bent in a vice.” A difficult situation that gives rise to mistrust and cooling of relations.
2. Pregnancy occurred, although the woman took contraception. There is also a different development here. My husband needs time to accept this. For a woman, this is also a test and test of her husband’s feelings. A loving husband will try to accept the situation over time, but if he insists on an abortion, there is reason to think: is the right man nearby?

How to persuade your husband to have a child?

The husband does not want children, how to persuade the husband to have a child - questions such as cries of despair are often found on various forums.

A family is a responsibility shared in half, all decisions must be made together and this is correct.

A wise woman will always understand her man, give him time and unobtrusively lead him to readiness to become a father. Men cannot stand overt pressure and this is important to understand.

First, you need to identify the reason why your faithful husband does not want a second child; this must be done tactfully, without strong pressure. To encourage your spouse to have a second baby, it is important to follow the following rules:

• men are not influenced by strong emotions, they close themselves, panic and do not hear the woman at such moments, so we need arguments and facts why it is worth adding to your family;
• every objection requires a weighty argument;
• if a man is afraid of losing his wife’s attention again, as was the case with his first baby, he needs to explain that the first experience always requires greater concentration, and there is more wisdom, there is enough attention for everyone;
• if a man is concerned about the financial side of the issue, you can sit down and draw up a joint plan for distributing funds; in many families, the things of the first child remain, so expenses may be lower;
• often the husband, observing his wife's enthusiasm and confidence, agrees to become a father again, but an insecure wife will not convince her husband.

How to persuade your husband to have a third child?

Where there are two, there are three, but what if: “I want a third child, but my husband doesn’t want it.” The modern world requires a person to make informed decisions and the ability to quickly adapt to circumstances.

A third child is a serious decision even for those men who consider themselves responsible and loving fathers. All the pros and cons must be weighed. This must be a mutual decision.

Often men agree after the fact, when the wife has already accidentally become pregnant, and even then they are happy, but it is better to plan the pregnancy together.

Husband doesn’t want children - advice from a psychologist

What to do if a man doesn't want children? Psychologists advise the following:

• motivate your husband, for example, emphasize that he can and knows so much and he can pass on all this experience to his child;
• if the reason why a man does not want a baby is jealousy, it is important to let him understand that there is enough attention and love for both;
• unobtrusively periodically tell your husband compliments that he is the best and most caring husband in the world and how lucky the future baby will be with his dad, and that he will definitely inherit his appearance from his dad;
• start communicating with friends who already have children, invite them to your place and visit them, and if a man has a fear of children, it will soon dissipate;
• make it clear to the man that his personal space and a certain freedom, in which there is a place for friends and fishing trips, will remain the same.

Husband doesn’t want children - advice from a priest

All methods of persuasion have been tried, but the husband does not want children, what to do in this case, advice from clergy:

• indulging fears is cowardice and distrust of God, it is important to cast aside all doubts and let new life into the world, marriage without children is incomplete;
• if the husband is a believer, the wife’s task is to help him strengthen his belief that a child is God’s gift;
• together with your husband, come to the priest and confess what is oppressive, why the man is against the child, because the priest is a kind of good psychologist, without condemnation he will find the right word and strengthen the intention.

How to get pregnant if your husband doesn't want children?

You need to remember the following thing: if the husband does not want children at all, it is important to take into account his opinion, he has the right to this.

Another question: are you on the same path with him? All responsibility can fall on a woman’s shoulders, and a man, feeling used and deceived, can simply leave slamming the door.

Therefore, methods such as piercing the condom or neglecting contraception do not always lead to a happy ending; the long-awaited pregnancy occurs, but the relationship with the husband is seriously tested. But the choice remains with the woman.

Source: https://womanadvice.ru/muzh-ne-hochet-detey-prichiny-i-sovety-kotorye-pomogut-reshit-problemu

Start preparing the ground for further pregnancy

Mention your baby regularly when talking about your husband's hobbies.

Most male representatives dream of giving birth to an heir. To teach him your hobbies. And also to make sure that the child achieves the dream that the man failed to achieve.

This is a great reason to mention the baby. Always when your husband is engaged in his favorite hobby, remind him of your child. For example, you might say, “It would be great if we had a son and you could teach him how to fix a car.” Or “But if we had a son, you could go fishing with him.” And so on.

It is possible that such conversations will have a positive effect on your spouse. He will listen to your recommendations. And, as a result, it will be easier to perceive the information you give him. Perhaps this will force him to have a child.

Discuss the prospects with your spouse

Talk with your spouse about what prospects await you after the baby is born. Discuss how your family's life will change. Talk about how your spouse will teach your child to drive a car in the future. How to send him to school. And so on.

be patient

Be sure to be patient with your husband. It will take time for him to make a decision about the child. During which he will consider your proposal.

Give your spouse some time to think. It is quite possible that in a few days he will tell you good news. And he will say that he is ready.

How to convince your husband to have a child - win-win arguments

Sometimes it happens that a man and a woman love each other, and everything seems to be fine with them, but this is only at first glance. But in fact, they have one big problem: a woman wants and can have a child, but a man can, but categorically does not want to.

Women, of course, in such a situation tend to think of reasons for such a categorical refusal, instead of calmly talking with their spouse and trying to at least hear him. After all, the true reasons can be not only selfish and mercantile, but also more serious.

And having found out the reason, it is much easier to cope with it and change the husband’s attitude towards what scares him so much.

Frankly, I have never been in such a situation. But my best friend experienced all the “delights” of this battle with her husband for a child.

Now that their daughter is already 5 years old, everyone is happy, but then it was a real nightmare: constant quarrels, scandals and tears, they even thought about getting a divorce.

It was hard to watch how two people who had always treated each other warmly now didn’t even try to talk normally and calmly. Everyone took the position: I know what is best and how it should be, but you are wrong .

After another such scandal, Katya came to me in tears and said that she would probably file for divorce. I suggested that she calm down and try to understand the situation from the outside .

Katya’s husband, Sasha, said that he does not want children because he is not ready for this yet. It's too early. Although at that time he was 29, and Katya was 27.

And she and I began to discuss: what could prevent a man from making such a decision - to become a father, what “weighty” arguments they usually give and what they are actually so afraid of.

Excuses and true reasons for refusal

The most common excuses you hear are:

• We haven't lived much for ourselves.
• We don’t have an apartment (car) yet.
• I don't earn enough to support you (wife) and child.
• We dreamed of going abroad, but we can’t even afford that, but here’s a CHILD.
• I don’t yet imagine myself as a dad and stuff.

There are a lot of excuses, depending on your imagination. But no matter how they sound, every excuse has deep, true reasons for such a man’s behavior.

Let’s try to figure them out, so:

• Infantility . In this case, the man internally does not consider himself old enough or mature enough to become a father. This is the most common excuse! There is no point in waiting for a man to realize that he has become mature. Some people still feel like children even at fifty. A woman's infantility also plays an important role. If a man sees that his wife is not independent, then he understands that most likely he will have to raise and be responsible for two: a wife and a child, and maybe three. In such a situation, a woman should demonstrate to her husband in every possible way that she is an adult and responsible person and is ready for such a serious event in life as the birth of a child.
• Uncertainty in a woman . This situation is also possible. That is, a man perceives his woman as a temporary refuge and is ready to leave her if necessary. Naturally, he cannot say this directly, and he perceives a woman’s desire to give birth to a child as an attempt to tie her down and keep her near him.
• Uncertainty about your financial situation . For many men, the lack of material security and confidence in the future is a serious reason to postpone the birth of a child. In such a situation, a woman must definitely talk to her husband and explain that after the birth of a child she is ready to reduce expenses on herself, that she is not going to become gray on her husband’s neck, but will go to work, and there will be enough money. You need to make it clear to your husband that he is not the only one who will have to support and provide for everyone. Explain that you can strive for material well-being all your life and never achieve it, and time goes by very quickly. And it may happen that when he wants a child, it will be too late and the state of health will not allow the woman to give birth. Give examples of other families who have achieved prosperity while already having children.
• Medical reasons . A man does not want to have children, knowing that in his family there have been cases of children with disabilities or other serious hereditary diseases. But he can’t or doesn’t want to talk about it. In this case, it would be a good idea to make friends with his parents or other close relatives who are in control of the situation and carefully find out from them.
• Negative experience of one of your friends . For example, his acquaintance or friend separated from his wife and now rarely sees his child. Or the man himself grew up in a single-parent or large family. Knows what a lack of attention and affection is. And he is subconsciously afraid of it.
• Having children from a previous marriage . This is perhaps the second most popular excuse. But this, unlike infantilism, is quite understandable. If a man already has a child, or maybe several, then he simply believes that these children are enough for him and does not understand the woman’s desire to give birth to his beloved. This is perhaps the most difficult situation. It will be very difficult to convince a man here.
• The desire to live for oneself or simple selfishness . This reservation comes with age. That is, it is more characteristic of young men who have just felt freedom from parental care and want to live for their own pleasure. It is impossible to convince such a contingent. A man of this age and position in life will not change under any pressure. You don't even have to try. And even if by some miracle a woman manages to persuade him to give birth to a child, then in the future all the worries and troubles associated with the birth of a baby will fall solely on her shoulders. Question: do you need it?

There are several more “weighty” arguments:

1. The wife will get better and ruin her figure after giving birth, and stop taking care of herself (strange, I always thought that women were afraid of this).
2. During pregnancy, the wife's character will deteriorate.
3. After the birth of the child, the wife will stop paying much attention to him.
4. Loss of freedom and time for interests and hobbies.
5. The sex life of their family will change.
6. Fear for the life and health of the wife.
7. Fear of being left alone with a child in your arms if the birth suddenly ends tragically.

It is not uncommon for the husband's parents to oppose the birth of a child. They regularly suggest that this woman is not a match for him and that he should not rush into having children.

What to do and what not to do categorically?

A woman, if she is sure that her husband loves her, and the reasons for his refusal do not have serious grounds, she needs to do a lot:

1. Talk to your husband more often, take an interest in his work, hobbies, and friends. This brings us together very much, it is easier to overcome any difficulties and find a common language.
2. Moderate your expenses. Those are the ones you spend exclusively on yourself. For a while! Show that you are able to control and rationally spend the family budget.
3. Go to visit friends or relatives where there are small children.
4. Be willing to change and compromise, give in more. The more he sees and feels how sincerely you love him and how much you care about him, the stronger his desire to imprint this in your children will be.
5. Don't forget about yourself, your internal and external state. It is advisable not only before the birth of the child, but also after.
6. Show your man that having a baby is very important to you. Watch family films with young children, videos and photos of funny children on the Internet more often. “Randomly” tell him various interesting and funny stories from your childhood or funny incidents with the children of friends, godmothers, and co-workers.

Believe me, sooner or later a man will pay attention to how much you want a child and will give in to you. Show feminine cunning and ingenuity and you will succeed!

What you should absolutely not do!

• Every day, from morning to evening, tell your husband that you want a child. Don't try to starve him out!
• Under no circumstances should you set ultimatums like: child or divorce. Especially if you are not ready for the second option.
• Don't always initiate sex. Especially if you haven't done this before.
• Don’t set up a “fly”! Men don’t like this and don’t forget, and most importantly, the result may be completely unexpected for you: he’ll just leave! Forever!

Continuation of a story

The story of our friends was resolved, fortunately, safely. After talking and analyzing all the above options, we realized that Sasha does not want to have children because of the negative experience of her brother.

His wife took his two children and took him to an unknown direction. All his brother’s attempts to find them ended in nothing. He drank a lot and almost committed suicide. With great difficulty, his parents and Sasha managed to return him to normal life.

As Sasha himself later said: I’ve seen enough, I don’t need this.

By arranging a “chance meeting” for them at our home, they were finally able to talk calmly and solve their problems.

Katya calmly explained to her husband that his brother’s unfortunate story was his story. And Sasha has her own. And it depends only on them what it will be like . Now they have a girl, Lenochka (named after me) and someone else, but for now the period is very short - it is unknown.

Here's the story. I would like to wish mutual understanding, love and patience to your families.

And remember : a child is not a goal. And certainly not a means to keep a man. A child is the fruit of the love of a man and a woman. This is the greatest happiness that has been given to us in this life!

Elena Sh.

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Source: https://www.odnadama.ru/deti/kak-ubedit-muzha-zavesti-rebenka-besproigryshnye-argumenty/

What should you not do to encourage your spouse to have a child?

There is a list of prohibited activities that you should not do if you want to have a child. Let's look at them.

Continue using contraception

A huge number of women make a serious mistake when they think that a child can be forced on a man. Some girls specifically refuse to use contraceptives. And they “accidentally” get pregnant.

The girls who did this think that now everything will be fine. That the spouse will accept the child. And he will continue to live with them.

In reality, the situation in most cases turns out to be different. The couple is furious. And they begin to have a negative attitude towards the girl. Hate her and the child. As a result, divorce may occur. We do not recommend letting it get to this point. Because in the end it will be bad for both you and the child. But a positive result will not be achieved.

Don't put too much pressure on your husband

Talking about children around the clock is strictly not recommended. Conversations on this topic should be held. But not too often. The spouse should have the opportunity to take a break from them. Otherwise, he will start avoiding you.

If you talk about having children too often, it will have the opposite effect. The man can't stand the pressure. And she won’t want a baby even more.

Enjoy your current family life

There is no need to force your spouse to do anything. This will affect him negatively. On the contrary, you need to enjoy what you have at the moment. Enjoy life and love your husband. Periodically have conversations with him about the child.

If your spouse is satisfied with everything about you, then he will easily want a child. He agrees to start him. And it won’t be difficult to persuade him to do this.

How to persuade your husband to have a third child, advice from a psychologist

Relationships » Seduction » How to persuade your husband to have a third child, advice from a psychologist

In this article, psychologist Anna Evlitskaya answers the question “How to persuade your husband to have a third child with the advice of a psychologist?”

Pregnancy and childbirth. Forum for parents with many children

Pregnancy and childbirth ⇒ How to persuade your husband to have a third child?

And, of course, there is absolutely no confidence in the future.

I noticed a long time ago that if you dream about something very much, if you think about it, it will definitely come true sooner or later.

So, I hope our dreams will come true.

I really liked the verse!

I have three of them. I don’t have much. I eat in the kitchen standing up so that no one touches me.

I don’t iron clothes or wash floors. And I even serve the second one for dinner.

I can dress according to a burning match; Nurse a cat like a baby out of habit.

I know how to build a tower and a car. I know how to arrange a name day for dolls.

I can make a train from a bedspread. She became a hundred years smarter in three years.

We build our happiness in a small apartment. I have three of them. I want four...

. There will be four, maybe even five. If only I had enough strength to lift the kids!

Just so as not to break down, just not to get tired, I have four, but I want five!

I want health, peace and love, I want patience, I want wisdom!

I have six of them, maybe that’s a lot, If I say it’s awkward, don’t judge strictly.

Life, of course, is difficult, time is running out, You should have a schedule, but it turns out - without.

It seems like you get up early, but someone has already gotten up, And in line to wash, and whoever is too young to wash.

I can’t even count the bicycles, there are only about five in the corridor.

And the kitchen is cramped, everyone can’t sit at the table, The bedroom is like a cabin - a two-story dream.

And although I sometimes scold children, If anything happens, I will stand up for each one.

. So, again in the kitchen someone slammed a cup! It may be difficult with them, but without them it’s BAD!

I have six of them, maybe the count is over, I have six of them, AND I WANT MORE.

Our seventh miracle was born in the summer. - Now that's enough for you!? - I hear it from everywhere

- How will you feed them? - We feed little by little.

For lunch we cooked half a bucket of potatoes.

We keep the green stuff in a two-liter jar. If we shout together, we can hear it on Grazhdanka.

We do lessons strictly according to the program. The school programs are all familiar to my mother.

There are never too many or few children, children are all relatives, children are all from God.

People sigh after that - mother gives in! I don’t have much yet, I want twins.

Experienced mothers say that it is easiest with the third child - the elders are already starting to help, and you know very well what to do with the baby, what difficulties there may be, how to treat it, and everything like that. Yes, and somehow calmer.

True, sometimes various difficulties arise. Fear of another birth or cesarean, especially if the previous ones were not very successful. The age is over 30-35 years, when a woman is considered already pregnant and is at greater risk for her health. A husband who doesn't want any more children.

How to deal with all this? How to decide on a third child after 35 years? There are answers and ways!

Third child. Problems and doubts

What to do if you already have two grown children, enough money to support them, and want another baby?

Thoughts arise - do we need this at all? There are already two, where else. But mental tossing is not everything. There are other problems, for example:

• Late pregnancy. After 35 years of age, pregnancy can be a big challenge for your health. More risks appear;

Therefore, you need to plan it very carefully, take vitamins in advance and check the condition of your body by taking tests and going through specialists (read the current article: How to prepare for pregnancy?>>>).

• Two Caesareans. Doctors say that it is dangerous to do a caesarean section several times, maximum 2-3;

How to decide on a third cesarean section? Of course, now medicine is at a high level, but, unfortunately, mainly in large developed cities. True, if more than 5 years have passed since the last birth, there is nothing to be afraid of. You can find a good clinic in advance and arrive there in advance, having agreed with experienced specialists.

• Health problems. Any chronic disease is an additional risk for a pregnant woman. And after 30-35 years, age-related ailments are also added. And here nothing can be predicted in advance.

But a woman has a maternal instinct inherent in her nature. And now you have already decided, despite all doubts, to give birth to a third one.

Husband is against it

You’ve decided – and you’re happy to tell your spouse. And he suddenly declares that he doesn’t want any more children! How to persuade your husband to have a third child? How to convey to him the importance of this? In order not to quarrel and achieve your goal, you need patience and feminine cunning.

Here are tips that will help not just persuade your spouse, but make him confident that this is his decision:

If you do everything correctly, the result will be your husband's consent. At the same time, he will be sure that he came up with everything himself and persuaded you. You need to achieve your goal correctly!

I don’t have a daughter, for some reason. I dream about her every minute. Not a day goes by, Not a night goes by, So that I don’t think: I don’t have a daughter! There are no long eyelashes, There are no braids with bows Braided by mother's Gentle hands. There is not enough pink color and plush toys in the house - Daughter, where are you!? I have two sons - Two masculine principles, Like two constellations I pulled from heaven.

I have two sons - two mighty wings. With them I freely disperse the clouds. I have two sons - my pride and joy, but I still really need my daughter. Dad doesn't understand Mom's suffering. He has no desire to become a father-in-law. In a dream you come to your mother in the middle of the night, In the morning I remember: “I don’t have a daughter.”

I'm waiting for you, baby, And I silently dream that my daughter will be next to me And dad will be very happy too When they say on the phone:

“Congratulations. Daughter."

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Source: https://muzhchina-zhenshchina.ru/soblaznenie/kak-ugovorit-muzha-na-tretego-rebenka-sovety-psihologa

How to convince your husband to have a child: clear tips

Good afternoon, dear readers! Sometimes on the path to motherhood a woman encounters an obstacle in the form of her own spouse. I hear about such situations more and more often. How long have you been ready to become a mother? How to convince your husband to have a child? How to explain that you need to have children?

Of course, the most ideal option is when both spouses consciously want to become parents. However, it is much easier for a woman to decide to take this step (although not always). Many women at the age of 25-35 begin to feel some kind of internal need to realize themselves as a mother. Women have a very developed maternal instinct. And men... Their bodies are designed differently.

Main reasons

Why does a man give up the prospect of becoming a father?

1. Fear of the unknown. The husband does not want children because he is afraid that his life will change irrevocably. He doesn't know what awaits him next. He is used to everything being clear, clear and predictable. And any sudden changes cause him discomfort. There is only one way to dispel this fear: meet other happy parents. Visit them more often, watch their interaction with children...
2. Fear of material difficulties. This fear is absolutely justified: a woman goes on long maternity leave, and the entire burden falls on the man’s shoulders. And then there are new financial costs...
3. Fear that his wife will not pay enough attention to him. Many young mothers immerse themselves in raising children. What will remain for the poor husband?
4. Fear that the wife will lose her attractiveness. She won't be able to remain as beautiful. That sexual relationships will lose their spice.
5. Fear that he won't be a good father. That he still lacks something.

What to do? How can I help a man dispel these fears?

Action plan

The first thing you need to do is determine whether you are really ready for the baby to arrive? Are you confident in your desire to be a mother? Do you yourself have major fears about this? For this:

• Read the article “How your life will change after the birth of a child”;
• Find friends with small children, try to communicate with them more often;
• It would be ideal to undergo a medical examination to find out whether you have chronic diseases and whether your body is ready for pregnancy. At this moment, women often have some new fears.

Secondly, get rid of your doubts. Otherwise, it will be very difficult for you to convince your spouse of anything. The main method of dealing with fears is positive communication with young mothers, searching for information, studying different aspects of motherhood. Next I will talk about the groundlessness of basic fears.

Financial situation

The most popular fear among expectant fathers. Yes, you will need money. But not as much as you think. The main condition: you can survive on your dad's salary. Could you both survive on one salary? At least modestly? If yes, then you can safely get pregnant.

The child does not require much additional funds. Moreover, you can live much more economically while on maternity leave than while working. You no longer have to overpay for lunch in the canteen. There is no need to spend money on travel (this is especially true for Moscow, where a travel card is more expensive than any diapers).

I once published an article “How much money do you need for a child?” And now I confirm my conclusions. The most expensive thing is diapers. And this costs 2000-3000 rubles a month. If you buy cheap ones, it will be much less.

And if you practice natural planting, this expense item can simply be eliminated. You can always take clothes from other mothers or buy them on Avito for a third of the price. The most expensive items are winter overalls and shoes. But not so many are needed.

Again, overalls are always easy to find used.

List all your income and expenses with your husband. And also calculate how many rubles per month you are willing to spend on your baby. Think about what you can give up, where you can save money? For example, regular gatherings in a cafe after childbirth will be irrelevant. Going to the cinema and other joys of childless life will also disappear at first.

Your husband won't get enough of your attention

This fear is the most justified. Husbands very often lack attention after childbirth... And if you decide to have a child, be prepared for this. You should try to put your husband first (“Is a husband more important than a child?”). Of course, you will have much less time for your spouse. But it should be there, at least in a minimal quantity.

Advice for expectant mothers: find out in advance from your spouse exactly how much time he needs. What is especially important to him? A little massage after work? Watching a movie together? Half an hour to chat? All this is quite possible to organize. Have a good conversation with your husband, discuss his needs and fears. Perhaps already during the discussion he will understand that having children is not the end of the world.

Female figure

If you have always been prone to being overweight, you will have a hard time after giving birth. But almost all women who are seriously concerned about their diet and exercise regain their former weight and flat stomach.

Discuss this issue with your spouse. Show examples of women who have lost extra pounds. Promise that you will get in shape sooner or later. It is absurd to demand that a woman who has given birth instantly lose weight. Any decent man will tolerate your tummy for at least six months or a year. The main thing is that he understands: this is temporary.

As for sex life: there can really be difficulties. It all depends on the child himself. Some children consistently sleep soundly at night, allowing parents to do whatever they want in peace.

And some people wake up every ten minutes. But in any case, you can send your little one for a walk with a nanny or grandmother, and finally relax. A good option for a weekend.

And again, all difficulties are temporary.

How to become good parents?

It happens that men are afraid of not coping with the role of a father. They are afraid that they will not be good enough. It is important to understand here that learning to be a mom or dad can only be done through practice. And a woman’s childbearing age is quite limited...

The older you get, the more difficult it is to bear a baby. And sleepless nights at 20-25 years old are much easier to bear. Of course, at 30-35 you can also give birth perfectly.

But how many children do you dream of? And at what age will the second or third birth occur?

General recommendations:

• don’t put pressure on your husband, don’t rush it, let him think it over and get used to the idea of ​​becoming a dad. Yes, you can’t always wait for years. But a few months (or even six months) will not age anyone;
• While your spouse is making up his mind, make smooth preparations for pregnancy. Switch to proper nutrition, pump up your abs, save money little by little - this will be beneficial in any case;
• invite people you know with children to your home more often;
• if all else fails, just pray, it gives miracles!

Attention! If you have been married for only six months, you have unstable family relationships, or there are some other objective difficulties - listen to your spouse’s arguments! Postpone pregnancy. Especially if you are in your early 20s...

Motivational video on our topic:

You will also benefit from many of my articles on the psychology of motherhood. Especially - “Life is a Joy” and “The First Months of a Child’s Life.”

Subscribe to new blog articles, repost on social networks. I wish you to become the happiest mother. See you again!

Source: https://pozdnyakova.org/kak-ubedit-muzha-zavesti-rebenka/