We write first
It is not a rare occurrence when a girl cannot initiate a conversation with a man first, even on social networks for dating. In reality there is no difficulty in this. And it’s much better and more effective than waiting until the gentleman you like decides to start a conversation. You don’t need to think about how to communicate with a guy correctly, just start, take one step towards meeting him. It's better to do something than to regret that you had the opportunity but didn't do anything.
Let me give you the example of Japan, where girls are often the first to take the initiative in meeting the opposite sex. This has its own advantages, for example, according to statistics, partners who get together on the girl’s initiative are less likely to separate. Therefore, do not be afraid to start communication first.
What to talk about with a guy when you're walking
First, let's look at the rules, then there will be specific topics of conversation.
If you want a guy to be interested in talking to you, then:
- Never interrupt when he is telling you something. Even if it’s not interesting, but the man is good and you need him.
- Always agree. And if you don’t agree with something, then say: “Yes, you’re right in some ways, but maybe I’ll do something like this because... what do you think?” or “Yes, I agree with you, but it seems to me that it would be better this way, because...”. Always justify your proposal this way.
- This point follows from the previous one. When talking to men or guys, always keep in mind that they are logical creatures. That is, they cannot think abstractly or chaotically jumping from one thought to another, they do not want to - it is not provided for by nature. At least most of them. And therefore, in order to talk to a man and make him interested in listening to you, always finish the thought of what was said with a specific result.
- You can say this: “Nice weather, isn’t it?” (no logic)
- Or like this: “The weather is good, let’s take a walk (or go to the park or a cafe, etc.), buy ice cream, go to the fountain, get some fresh air, chat. How do you think? Agree?" (everything is logical: good weather - walk - eat - talk).
- If a man disagrees with you and offers a better and more interesting scenario, then agree. This man is a real Male (very high probability), who will always solve all your problems for you in the future.
- When you listen to him, agree by saying: “Yes,” “Of course,” “Uh-huh,” “It can’t be!” (unambiguous words). If the idea of the story is complete, then continue the unambiguous words with a question on the topic of what was said: “Yes, I understood everything, but why is the sun yellow?” It's a joke, but the meaning is clear.
- So listen carefully, look into the eyes and smile slightly. Or look slightly down, to the side (you don’t need to look at his pants or at his feet).
- And in general, smile, laugh, maintain a light, cheerful tone of conversation.
- Sometimes, as if by chance, touch him.
Reasons to start communication
Suppose you are determined to write to a young man, but you don’t know what exactly to tell him. You need to find a suitable reason for conversation.
It is worth paying attention to possible points of contact:
- If you know a page on a social network, then study it. Maybe you have mutual friends, places of work, hobbies, and so on. This information will greatly simplify the search for topics to maintain a conversation.
- Finding common interests. Talk about hobbies, what films you saw last in cinemas, how you like to spend time on weekends, what you prefer to listen to from music. If we haven’t found common interests, it’s okay, we’re looking for other points of convergence.
- Ask for advice on a particular situation. In this way, show your interest in his opinion, which will be assessed from a positive position.
How to start a conversation with a guy you like? Following the advice of a psychologist will be quite enough, the main thing is to take the initiative and not be a coward.
Let's talk about how to start communicating with a guy on a dating site:
- Guys are not girls, you can approach them with a banal “Hello! How are you?". Girls don’t write to guys that often, and this message won’t be perceived as trivial, and if he likes you in your avatar, then in 95% of cases the guy will answer you.
- Showing sincerity and interest in communication: “How was your weekend, did you have a good rest?”, “Let’s chat, it’s a boring evening, can you help brighten it up?” It is unlikely that a young man will refuse communication.
- Reason for communication. Ask for advice on watching an interesting movie: “Recommend something interesting from the fantasy series. I've watched so many films, I can't find anything interesting. Help me out." I understand that it is not entirely tactful to write to a stranger like this, but it is precisely through discouragement that a dialogue will start and interest will develop in the interlocutor.
- Start a dialogue based on the guy’s post. Give a compliment or write some interesting comment. Perhaps he posted a photo from a vacation in another city. Ask his opinion about this city and where you can have a good time there.
Avoid embarrassment, communicate easily and not under pressure. If something is interesting, ask, use your imagination, use your own phrases when talking.
How to interest a man by correspondence: 7 rules for ideal correspondence
TOP 10 topics for a romantic date with your own husband
But really, what can you talk to him about? All topics have been discussed a long time ago and negotiated many times. Daily communication comes down to resolving everyday issues, problems with children, constant mutual claims and setting goals for the future. The relationship seems to have outlived its romantic beginning and will never return to it. Dear ladies, you are mistaken! Your man is still interesting and unique! He, like you, also wants to see next to him a good friend, a fascinating conversationalist and a romantic, sophisticated person who is not alien to creativity, feelings and high matters. We invite you to invite your loved one on a date and just chat about...
1. About how you met
This is one of the most pleasant topics for communication with your own husband. Over a cup of tea or a glass of wine, you plunge into the shared past that has bound you so tightly and for a long time. Memories of romantic feelings, first glances, timid steps towards each other plunge both of you into a state of mild euphoria... It’s as if you are falling in love again, or rather, you are simply reminding yourself what it means to be in love with your own husband. Start a conversation with a simple phrase: “Do you remember...?”
2. About his hobby
If your and your husband’s hobbies overlap in any way, or even more so, coincide, that’s just super! This means that you always have something to talk about, in addition to everyday topics. But even if you live in completely different dimensions, it doesn’t matter: we know what to do about it. Try to find out more about your spouse's hobby, even if it is a completely foreign topic to you. Your beloved man is seriously passionate about something that you have no idea about. How long are you going to remain ignorant of the strength and attractiveness of your “rival”? Read something about his hobby - you should be “in the know” when you start the conversation by saying something like: “I read from Osho that...”
3. About gender psychology
This is an eternal topic that can be discussed endlessly. Just start talking about the difference between male and female perceptions. Just don’t focus on the fact that we women are cooler, otherwise a nice philosophical conversation risks descending to the level of a banal verbal (and maybe not only verbal) brawl. It is better to build a dialogue by asking questions: “How do men perceive...?” It is clear that all representatives of the stronger sex are different, but, most likely, in this conversation you will learn a lot of new things about your life partner: when speaking “in general,” he will talk specifically about himself.
4. About your dreams
People often live together and do not realize that each of them in their youth had completely different plans, goals and dreams... But life somehow took a different direction and they had to, as they say, “step on the throat of the song.” Are you sure that your significant other will realize their true dreams and aspirations in life together with you? If the creative potential of an individual remains unrealized for many years, in the future (somewhere in retirement) all this risks resulting in reproaches: “If it weren’t for you, then I would...”. In the conversation you will learn about his secret dreams and unfulfilled desires. As a consequence of this very useful conversation, we recommend that you try to realize your dreams, at least within the limits of the resources available to you. The housewife wife, it turns out, dreams of running her own business, and the breadwinner husband wants to sing romances or dive professionally. Is this really such a big sacrifice for the family if the wife tries to open her own business, albeit on a small scale, and her husband attends a classical vocal club 1-2 times a week?
5. About vacation
Isn’t it very nice to talk about different countries and traditions, cooking from different parts of the planet, travel, and also plan a future vacation together? By the way, maybe stop dragging all the children with you? Try to send them to a sanatorium this year, accompanied by their grandmothers, while you, just the two of you, go... anywhere! Even if you rent a small dacha near Kiev in a secluded place and live for each other. And it’s better, of course, to settle for a while in Venice or Paris, or at least in Turkey or Crimea. Just dream about it first: how will you spend your time there? What will you do for each other? How can you surprise each other? We are sure that you will be able to survive your second honeymoon, relax, gain strength, and the children will meet loving, refreshed and happy parents - how can they help but be happy for you? And after such a vacation you can give them a triple portion of love and affection!
6. About spirituality
This is one of the eternal and kindest topics. Of course, you should not touch on it if you are representatives of different faiths, and this topic is taboo in your family. However, spirituality is a broader and more humane concept than religion. Discuss with your spouse on this topic: you will see how far or close you are to each other spiritually, how much desire you have to do good, and feel how much you have grown after such a soul-healing conversation.
7. What is pleasant to remember
The theme of living together and pleasant memories is truly inexhaustible! Invite your spouse to play an exciting and very kind game: who will remember more pleasant moments from their life together, or who will remember more funny incidents that happened to the two of you. You can even organize a ceremony with the passing of the move: first you remember a moment in your life on a given topic, and then you kiss your spouse, passing the move on to him. Now it’s his turn to remember and kiss. Want to make things more difficult? You can't kiss the same place twice... How far can you go?
8. About sex
As you know, this is a favorite topic of men, and women, too, by the way - sex and everything connected with it: sexual fantasies, addictions, memories of the most vivid sex of your life together... It's time to lift the veil of your sensuality.
9. About what I am grateful to you for
You made a date with your own husband because the relationship has lost its spice and freshness. Your task is to renew your feelings, improve the atmosphere in the family, fall in love with your man again and make him fall in love with you. Start a conversation about what you are grateful for your loved one. Don’t name your points quickly, develop each of them into a story picture: “Remember, I was fired, I couldn’t find a job for a long time and felt terrible... I’m so grateful to you for being there at that moment and telling me very important things.” words that I remember for the rest of my life! Your support helped me at that moment to get up and move on...”
...Pass the microphone to your husband - he probably also has something to be grateful for. This evening of mutual thanksgiving can heal even the most suffering love...
10. How I can be a better person for you
This fancy name for a conversation topic is fraught with danger. Just imagine your husband telling you: “You could become a better person if you lost weight,” or you telling him: “Our sex life would be brighter if sexual intercourse lasted longer...”. Oops... It won't take long to make a scandal. No, the rules of the game are different here: everyone speaks only about themselves. For example: “I know that your favorite dish is French meat. I think I could be a better wife to you if I cooked it more often. Dear, how often would you like to eat your favorite dish? Or he: “I know that you love coffee with cinnamon and cream and I know how much you like to drink it in bed in the morning. I think that I will be a better husband if I provide you with your favorite ritual, at least on the weekends”... Such a constructive conversation will bring you very closer. Just don’t make rash promises that you can’t keep: an unfulfilled promise is subconsciously regarded as a betrayal. Make real vows or tell them why you can’t keep them: “I would like to bring you coffee in bed every morning, but I’m afraid I’ll have to limit myself to only weekends, weekdays are a difficult time when every minute counts.”
We have prepared for you 10 interesting topics for a romantic date with your own husband. They did not include topics that are strictly prohibited. Let's touch on them too.
What you should never talk about:
1. Mutual claims and reproaches.
2. Household issues, household purchases, repairs.
3. Children, their problems and upbringing.
4. Relatives, friends and other “other” people.
5. Work, study, business, if they are not your joint hobbies.
6. Money, finances, salaries.
7. Health and illness.
8. Politics, if it is not your hobby.
9. Weather - don’t you have anything to talk about? See above…
10. Gossip – no strangers around, just the two of you!
Topics for communication
It’s very easy to have a dialogue with a guy on the Internet, especially when he came into contact after you contacted him. If the guy immediately answered that he has a girlfriend, we leave him alone and look for another young man.
If he starts to carry on a conversation, he likes you. Heat up the conversation with an exciting topic.
Examples of interesting topics:
- The guy has an interesting hobby. Let's say he's a cook or is into drifting. Ask him to share his impressions and how he decided to do this. Men like to talk about their hobbies and delight others with them.
- Talk about vacation spots that he liked and would like to return to again. Let him tell you about his preferences during the holidays. He likes extreme sports or prefers easy walks in the parks. Ask about things that interest you. Does he like reading books, swimming, hiking, etc...
- A banal, but quite addictive topic, discussion of films and events taking place in the city. Before you begin the discussion, find out if he has an interest in the film or event.
After reading the young man's stories, share information about yourself. The main thing is not to overdo it; guys don’t really like people who are too talkative either.
Keeping the conversation going
It’s easy to maintain a conversation with a man in real life. Choosing a meeting place is similarly simple - a beach, a park, a cafe, a regular walk around the city.
Conversation rules:
- Don't be shy about talking to a guy you don't know first. You can start with the usual “Hello! I'm Masha! What's your name?". After you learn his name, use it more often when talking. A person puts his interlocutor at ease when pronouncing his name.
- Actions must take place depending on the circumstances. You see that the sky is becoming cloudy, ask his opinion about possible rain. A seemingly trivial conversation about the weather can captivate your conversation for long hours of chatter.
- A great option to interest a man is to ask for his help. Pretexts for help include: finding out the location of the cafe, assistance in choosing a product, and the like. Consider these prepositions as an impetus to continue the conversation. After helping, give thanks.
- Guys love it when people give them compliments. Don't skimp on them. Rate his physical form, sense of humor, perfume, clothing style...
- Don't drag out the dialogue into an awkward period of silence. It is better to leave in advance, citing important matters. Tell your guy that you enjoyed your time together. If he was also interested in you, he will ask for your phone number or a link to social networks; if he is a little “slow,” you can offer him this data yourself.
Advice from psychologists
To start a conversation, read the basic tips from psychologists on the topic “How to talk to a guy.” By following these tips, you will feel more confident and will win over your interlocutor.
- Stop being afraid. Girls often have doubts when taking initiative. Suddenly the guy refuses to talk, which can greatly hurt his self-esteem. Now think about it, if a guy doesn't know you, you don't know him, and you tell him something, what effect will it have? Who will know about this? You have nothing to lose in this situation.
- Smile. Nobody likes gloomy and sad faces. But a smile attracts attention very well. A guy can literally fall in love with your smile and will remember it for a long time, and thanks to this memory he will think about you.
- Choosing the right time. Try to find out in advance whether this time for communication will be convenient for your interlocutor. If it works, then conducting a dialogue during this period is not the best idea. It’s better to wait and have a good chat after his work.
- Honesty. You should not embellish yourself or your life in front of your interlocutor. Otherwise, the truth will be revealed, and then the opinion of you will change, not for the better. Unfortunately, girls, like men, are often inclined to cheat when communicating on the Internet. Subsequently, when meeting in real life, the lie is revealed and communication stops.
Although you have thought for a long time about how to talk to a guy, stick to naturalness. You don't need to make winning a guy your top priority. If you are right for each other, it will quickly become clear. If you have your own tips on how to start a conversation with a guy, share them in the comments.
Bad and good
Every Friday night my family and I play a game over dinner that I played as a child with my parents. It's called "The Good and the Bad." Everyone takes turns saying what bad things happened to them that day, then everyone tells in the same way what good things happened to them. The rules are very simple: you need to name at least one bad and one good event per day, and in addition, you cannot criticize the answers of others. By listening to others, including mom and dad, talk about the positive and negative experiences they have had throughout the day, children learn empathy and solidarity with those around them.
But what if the children refuse to play this game? Here's how family dinner expert Marshall Duke answers this question.
“I agree that if children are really traumatized by something, then they should not be forced to talk about it. But the most important thing we can give our children, at dinner or at any other time, is to teach them to make an adequate assessment of what is happening. When a child tells you about something bad that happened to them at school, sometimes the best thing to say is, “Pass the ketchup.” By this you seem to be telling him that there is no reason to panic. You will get through this, just like I dealt with similar situations. Then, once you've calmed your panic and poured ketchup on your potatoes, you can start the conversation.
But if the child is just testing your strength, you can say: “Sorry, honey. When I was your age, I didn’t always want to play it either, but your grandmother forced me to. It means being part of a family. Now, will you pass me the potatoes? And tell me, what bad happened to you today?”