Features of runaway bride syndrome
“They meet in order to break up, but they fall in love only to fall out of love. I want to laugh and burst into tears and not live!” This is what the Russian “king of poets” of the early last century Igor Severyanin wrote. Well, laughter and tears, so as not to “live,” we’ll leave on his conscience, although in cases where lovers run away on the porch of the registry office, someone has to cry. More, perhaps, to the relatives of the bride and groom, who spent so much effort and money on the failed wedding.
And if only it ended in tears. I remember an incident when the bride’s family was preparing for the wedding, even vodka had already been purchased for the guests. And at the last moment the groom ran away and drove off to distant lands. The bride's father perceived this act as a shame for the family, drank bitterly and soon died.
Sometimes life turns out to be completely unfriendly. So the lovers decided to get married, and at the most crucial moment, when everything is ready for the solemn wedding, she suddenly turns to her chosen one in a not entirely aesthetic manner. In Ukraine, in the good old days, in such cases, the girl handed the guy a watermelon. It looked more beautiful and somehow smoothed over the offense, but in our mercantile hour, look for a pumpkin, and there’s no time for aesthetics when you’re running away from the crown.
Why would it be that after a passionate relationship, when the question of the wedding has already been decided and preparations for it are in full swing, the bride suddenly bucks? Why did such a metamorphosis, incomprehensible at first glance, happen to her? What's so outlandish happened that she runs away from the crown like hell from incense?
Often such girls justify their extraordinary act with the words that “it’s impossible to get married, no matter how married you are.” This proverb contains the entire psychology of the runaway bride syndrome. This psychological “twist” is inherent in people with an anxious and suspicious character. It is extremely timid girls (sometimes boys) who are most often afraid of registering a relationship.
“Love to death” in a free “flight” is one thing, because no one owes anyone anything special. Life at this time seems like a holiday that you need to drink like drunken wine and enjoy the pleasure received.
After the wedding, everyday life begins, family and work absorb all the time. What kind of holiday is this? “Love has passed and become covered with a haze. Now the family has a stroller with Dimka.” And a child means sleepless nights, the need to tirelessly monitor a capricious baby, change his diapers, and bottle feed him. In a word - grow.
And then there’s still the need to greet hubby, go shopping, and many other far from festive concerns. And not everyone is capable of such a daily “feat.”
And then the runaway bride syndrome kicks in, when someone who is ignorant just before the wedding suddenly runs headlong away from her “evil” lot. Although a woman by her essence is called to motherhood. Her main purpose in life is to raise and educate children. But it turns out that the instinct of a “warm nest” does not always work when it’s heaven with a sweetheart. They dream about it, but not everyone succeeds in creating their own family.
It is necessary to distinguish the runaway bride syndrome from a girl’s fears before the wedding. The latter are simply called “bride syndrome” and characterize an absolutely normal state of excitement before marriage. Absolutely all newlyweds are subject to such anxiety (men are no exception!).
This significant event must be held at the proper level! This is once and for all a lifetime (at least, I think so), and therefore the marriage and the wedding itself should be without any extras. At this time everyone becomes superstitious. It is believed that if something goes wrong, it will affect the family well-being.
Let’s say, when the groom puts a ring on the bride’s finger in the registry office, God forbid that it falls off! This is a bad sign, it promises a quick separation.
There are plenty of such phobias before marriage, but all this is just normal pre-wedding jitters, it does not at all affect the feelings of the newlyweds. The bride or groom has no idea that they need to run headlong from under the aisle.
It is important to know! Statistics show that one in 10 brides may cancel their wedding at the last minute. This is due to a suspicious nature, when the fear of getting married overpowers the desire to live together.
Alcoholic bride syndrome.
What character trait attracts problematic suitors into the lives of some women? Self-confidence! Sometimes deeply hidden from the naked eye, but very powerful self-confidence.
These women really believe that they can easily re-educate another person. Or even - it’s not easy, but they can!
This kind of self-confidence is called alcoholic bride syndrome.
“I’m friends with a guy who is an alcoholic. He is 25 years old, I am 20 years old, we have been dating for 8 months. I don’t want to leave him and I won’t, because I love him very much and want him to become a man. Teach me how to behave when he is drunk, and what to say to him when he is sober, how can I get him to stop drinking. He gets drunk once a month. Meeting up with my old friends. At this moment he becomes a different person. Very rude to me. But having sobered up, he greatly repents. Asks for forgiveness. He says that he loves me very much and believes in me, that one girl has already betrayed him.
When he gets drunk, he sometimes doesn't go to work. Because of this, I lost good jobs several times. I really want to help him, because our city is small and I’m afraid that he will get a bad reputation and he won’t be able to get a job anywhere except as a loader. His parents have no influence on him and they themselves like to drink. His grandfather also often pours it for him, even though he’s not allowed to. I love him very much and want to get him out of this swamp. Please tell me what needs to be done to make him become a different person. I will do everything and help him.”
This letter is very typical for the bride of an alcoholic.
Please note that she does not write anything about herself. The bride is now completely focused on the groom's problems. And he considers himself a savior angel who will definitely solve all these problems.
With using what? With the help of what qualities of the groom does she plan to help him enter his new life? She doesn’t write anything about these qualities. Most likely they are no longer there. The groom does not have the most important thing - will; if he had it, he himself, without savior angels, would have taken control of his hereditary tendency to alcoholism.
The groom clearly gives signals about the futility of any fuss with him, but the bride does not distinguish between them. This mythological thinking, nurtured by all sorts of TV series like “Santa Beliberda,” is already working at full power.
Why does a girl love not a currently living person, but the one in the future “... I want him to become a person”? The girl is unshakably convinced that she can “make” him human. Apparently, this is the main feature of “alcoholic brides” - boundless faith in their ability to remake, re-educate their grooms, and decide their destinies . Girls who love to shape destinies plan in such a simple way to raise their importance to sky-high heights - the importance of love with them!
Can one person create the lives of other people according to his own design, control their lives, even if it is a mother or father? Of course not.
It is difficult to change oneself by voluntary self-imposed desire. But the other is not difficult, it is simply impossible. Setting such a goal for yourself is pointless. People cannot be remade according to someone else's plans. The confidence of the “alcoholic brides” in the success of their plan to wean him off “drinking” or some other infection is visible in every letter. “Brides of alcoholics” don’t even ask – is it possible to wean off? They demand - teach how to behave! “ What kind of woman am I if I can’t re-educate my loved one.”
"Brides of Alcoholics" focuses on their grooms' problems rather than their own. Problematic people attract them, arouse increased interest - finally, there is an object for the application of their remarkable forces. There is a great meaning in life - to save a lost soul, not to let it die, while ruining your own in this struggle.
Not a single woman in the world has yet “re-educated” an alcoholic or received his desired sobriety in exchange for her love.
But the brides of alcoholics need heroism! Through heroism, people often gain a sense of personal significance.
The bride's motto: “Do you need me? Take me". For some reason it doesn’t occur to her: “ Why do I need him?”
A legitimate question from a bride with adequate, good self-esteem could be: “What needs does he satisfy ? None. So I don’t need him.”
Brides, be careful!
You are playing a dangerous game called “First I will marry a man, and then I will make him a man.” In this game, brides are the losers.
Many, many girls understand everything about the “bride of an alcoholic.” However, many of the same girls, in the same way, according to the same principle and under the influence of the same syndrome, choose to start a family with a person whom they also plan to re-educate. Wean from laziness and idleness, teach to be hardworking. Wean off shyness and very small social needs, teach to be ambitious and proactive. Wean from cruelty, teach to be gentle. Wean from isolation, teach to be more talkative. And so on and so forth.
These desires are the same “alcoholic bride syndrome.”
Dear girls, eradicate this syndrome in yourself before it’s too late, before you start a family with just anyone. Feelings are feelings, but no one canceled the head. Do you feel that you dream of saving your loved one, rehabilitating him, giving him other guidelines in life? - Run away from such relationships. And this is not betrayal, this is common sense, an attentive female gaze that sees everything through, female wisdom that understands the laws of Fate!
Causes of Runaway Bride Syndrome
The roots of the habit of breaking up lie in the character and moral principles that parents instilled in childhood. All this ultimately affects behavior. If before marriage the lovers behaved quite adequately, then when the question of formalizing the relationship arose, one of them suddenly changed their opinion about their partner. Outwardly this is often not visible, but in her (his) soul suddenly something pinched and began... And that’s not the case, and that’s not the case. Why are some young people afraid to get married? The reasons for this can be very different. Let's take a closer look at the psychology of the actions of runaway brides and grooms.
Causes of runaway bride syndrome in women
So why do some girls act so extravagantly before their wedding?
For example, in the Hollywood film “Runaway Bride,” the main character Maggie ran away from the aisle straight from the church. And she did this for the 4th time! What reasons force one to put one’s recently beloved one in such a humiliating position, not to mention one’s own and his loved ones who were preparing for the wedding and invited relatives and friends to it? What happened so extraordinary that it makes the bride not care about public opinion and, lifting up the hem of her wedding dress, run away from her future?
The reasons for this behavior lie in personality psychology. The social factor is also important. Let's look at this in more detail:
- Anxious and suspicious character
. The girl is afraid of everything in life. Even her own wedding is an insurmountable, terrible test for her. Essentially, she is an unhappy person who desperately needs help from loved ones or a psychologist. - Family education
. The girl grew up without a father. The mother, exhausted by eternal need, curses the men that “here is a male, he left the child, but does not want to pay child support,” or pays very little. If she has a suspicious character, she “tryes on” her mother’s unsuccessful marriage for herself. This is how a negative attitude towards marriage is developed. Another option is when there is no warm relationship in the family. The father often quarrels with the mother and does not pay due attention to the child. Such negativity is fixed in the subconscious; already becoming an adult, the girl is intuitively opposed to the wedding. “I don’t want a life like this, where there are constant scandals and betrayals! What if my beloved turns into someone like my dad?” The runaway bride syndrome is evident. - "Epiphany"
. When we were together, no attention was paid to the negative traits of our friend. Let’s say we agreed to quit smoking, she forgot about cigarettes, and he smokes secretly from her, or doesn’t know how to do anything around the house. For example, replacing the gasket in a kitchen faucet. For the time being, no attention was paid to this. And when the conversation came up about the wedding, the bad traits of the beloved suddenly acquired universal proportions. It began to seem that it was impossible to live under the same roof with him. Although we should have thought earlier, not kept silent, but talked about it openly. - Financial questions
. Love is good, but sex does not solve family problems. And he earns little. This thought frightens me: “What will I have to live with when I go on maternity leave? He will hardly be able to give me money even for tights. Not to mention when the baby arrives. And therefore, living with him in marriage is more expensive for yourself!” - Various interests
. Love is love, and there is absolutely nothing more to talk about with him. And connect your life with this? - Fear of being the center of attention
. A wedding is a big celebration, there are a lot of people there. And everyone will stare at you, which is simply unbearable. Such thoughts and feelings are characteristic of overly timid individuals, unsure of themselves, who avoid close attention to their person. This is a significant reason for escaping from the aisle. - Independence
. Ah, “this sweet word is freedom!” It’s one thing to live in a civil marriage and feel the celebration of life. It’s quite another to register your relationship. There is no time for fun anymore, everyday life has come. And I so passionately want to not be obligated to anyone. Even to your loved one. I wish I could sing and flutter all my life, like a spring bird. True, more often such a life attitude ends, as in Krylov’s famous fable “The Dragonfly and the Ant.” “Did you sing everything? This is the point: so go and dance!” When youth has passed and sores have overcome, such a “dance” will not seem fun at all. - Unsuccessful marriage
. The first marriage was unsuccessful. Severe stressful situation, psychological breakdown. A good person was found, but the fear of official relations remained. Let it be better if everything is informal. And if he insists on marriage, she seems to agree, but at the most decisive moment she can simply run away. - Force majeure circumstances
. Suddenly, just before the wedding, she met HIM or, say, an old school love. Long-forgotten feelings flared up again. The girl refuses the wedding. - Self-admiration
. Tough, selfish natures take such a step. A sort of Herostratus complex in relation to the situation with marriage. “I’ll refuse him and become famous, they’ll talk about me, saying how cool she is, she wasn’t afraid to refuse her fiancé on the threshold of the registry office.” She doesn’t care about the feelings of her boyfriend and loved ones, such an act gives her pleasure. This is already at the level of psychological “twists” of consciousness, when you want to always be in the center of attention.
If a woman really loves, all doubts about her beloved should not worry her. You need to accept him for what he really is. There are also spots in the sun. And we should remember that she herself is not without “sin.”
Causes of runaway bride syndrome in men
Runaway bride syndrome sometimes happens to men too.
Gogol's comedy "Marriage" is widely known, when the main character escaped from his wedding through the window. Such would-be suitors often say that “the friend turned out to be lazy, she can’t really cook, and then what can we say about the family?” The reasons that force a guy to run away from his girlfriend are similar to those that force a girl to give up marriage. For example, an anxious and suspicious character, fear of a large number of people at a wedding. However, there are those that are dictated by male nature.
These include:
- Passion for wild life
. As in Vysotsky’s song: “Walk, flaw, from a ruble and above...”. Why not take a walk? After all, we only live once, and we need to live in such a way that there is nothing to regret later. When in old age you can say: “Wow, how I lived, how much was given to me in my destiny!” And the family only burdens. - Sex
. Akin to dissolute living, only the emphasis here is on relationships with women. There should be as many of them as possible. Some experts on women's souls even keep diaries in which they note their many victories on the love front. This type will promise his next girlfriend anything, for example, he is ready to register a marriage. But at the last moment, when his chosen one is already preparing for the wedding, she suddenly disappears. And he might even grab some of her things or “borrow” a large sum of money. Among these there are many gigolos who love to live at the expense of their mistress. - Picky groom
. The guy has been dating for a long time, he likes the girl. And when the question of a wedding arises, he suddenly thinks: “She’s good, but maybe I’ll find something more beautiful. And I haven’t had my fill yet!” - Greed for money
. Women are good, but money is better! Especially when it weighs down your wallet so nicely. Such men, even with greenbacks in their pockets, are very stingy with gifts for their girlfriends. For them, family means waste, which means the collapse of financial well-being. - Reluctance to start a family
. First of all, because such a “rash” step limits personal freedom when you need to look at your other half in order, say, to sit with friends over a glass of beer or go to a restaurant. And some of these “freedom lovers” do not like children, and therefore believe that they do not need a family and children. - Chronic diseases
. A person has a chronic illness, he knows about it, but hides the fact that he is sick. He has a long, serious relationship with a woman, she wants to legitimize it. He seems to agree, but at the last moment he leaves the marriage. - Homosexual
. He dates a woman, but gravitates more towards men. Such bipolar relationships do not involve marriage.
It is important to know! If a guy is tormented by worries and doubts about the wedding, he needs to share them with his friend. Sincerity in a relationship is the guarantee that he will get married and not run away from his beloved at the decisive moment.
Othello syndrome: Soviet stars who were ruined by jealousy
Gennady Voropaev
On May 27, 1931, Gennady Voropaev was born, known not only as a talented actor, but also as a womanizer and a favorite of women. There were too many temptations in the artist’s world to remain faithful to one chosen one. At the same time, Voropaev did not trust his passions, suspecting that they, in turn, were capable of treason. So, Gennady Ivanovich made loud scandals for Svetlana Karpinskaya, not hesitating to use his fists.
This is not the only example where relationships turned into hell and eventually broke up due to unreasonable jealousy. On the birthday of one of the main Soviet heartthrobs, we remember the couples whose family life collapsed under the weight of suspicion and aggression of the Othello stars.
GENNADY VOROPAYEV AND SVETLANA KARPINSKAYA
Gennady Voropaev is known to viewers from the film “Vertical”
Let's start with the birthday boy, known to viewers from the film “Vertical” and many years of service at the Leningrad Comedy Theater. Voropaev was considered a real darling of fate: he was adored by Sliver teachers, classmates and, of course, girls. It is not surprising that the tall actor with the manners of an aristocrat often changed women. According to rumors, Jonas agreed to the wedding with Tatyana in order to avoid a scandal: Gennady Ivanovich’s career could have ended if he had not married the young artist, whose honor he had discredited. The marriage did not last long, and soon in star circles they learned that Nina Urgant became the heartthrob’s new chosen one.
The actors lived together for seven years until Urgant kicked out Voropaev. “He drank heavily, at some point I realized that I was tired of enduring drinking,” the star confessed. — Then he married a ballerina. But Gena wasn’t happy with her either.”
For the sake of Svetlana Karpinskaya, Voropaev left his ballerina wife
Prima Alla Osipenko gave Voropaev a son, Ivan, but this did not deter the man when he fell in love with a colleague, Svetlana Karpinskaya. One day, a tear-stained ballerina appeared on Svetlana Alekseevna’s doorstep. Osipenko said that her wife was uncontrollably attracted to the actress, and complained that her family was collapsing. Karpinskaya was indignant that she did not take anyone away from home, and she herself was married to Dmitry Zinchenko.
The tragic fate of a prima ballerina: how Alla Osipenko survived the death of a child
However, Voropaev courted persistently, and as soon as Svetlana Alekseevna got a divorce, he invited her to live together. Soon the artist became pregnant, but Gennady Ivanovich did not want a child and persuaded her to have an abortion. Karpinskaya firmly decided to give birth, and in revenge, her lover started an affair on the side.
“Already with a big belly I ran into his mistress in the theater. The girl began to say something to me, I immediately hit her on the head with a string bag of eggs that I had just bought, and proudly walked away, leaving her drenched from head to toe,” recalled Svetlana Alekseevna.
Karpinskaya and Voropaev had a daughter, Ekaterina.
The actor continued to change women, and did not give a penny for his daughter Katya, but Karpinskaya did not dare to completely sever ties with him. They came together, then separated, and Gennady Ivanovich also tormented his chosen one with painful jealousy. Once a young artist began to court her, so Voropaev organized real surveillance and eventually drove the gentleman away.
The actress could no longer tolerate drunken scandals and assault. When the relationship with Voropaev ended, many admirers appeared on the horizon, but Karpinskaya never got married. At the end of her life, Svetlana Alekseevna admitted: despite everything, Gennady Voropaev was her only true love.
ALEXANDER BRONEVITSKY AND EDITA PIEKHA
Alexander Bronevitsky was jealous of Edita Piekha for every pillar
Together with her husband, the singer began her stage career, and the creative union resulted in a 20-year marriage. And although the director of the Druzhba ensemble helped Edita Stanislavovna gain a foothold on the Soviet stage, she did not feel spousal support.
Alexander Alexandrovich was the first man whom the artist kissed. They met when the singer was in her second year at university. The girls admired Bronevitsky: witty, erudite, with good manners, he never entered the dorm room without knocking, and invariably handed each of Piekha’s roommates a piece of candy. My girlfriends unanimously insisted that you can safely marry such a guy - you will be like behind a stone wall.
Edita Piekha admitted that her husband was jealous of her for Yuri Gagarin
After the wedding, Pygmalion began to “educate” his Galatea: he criticized her vocals, posture, and clothes. Piekha worked hard and soon felt that Bronevitsky began to respect her. But bright feelings for his wife did not prevent Alexander Alexandrovich from having affairs on the side. At first, Edita Stanislavovna did not believe the stories of her friends about her husband’s hobbies, but one day she personally found him with a female editor, hastily buttoning up her blouse...
The husband suspected Piekha of cheating with Muslim Magomayev
Bronevitsky assured that his mistresses meant nothing to him, and did not want to change. It is paradoxical that, being an unfaithful husband, he was furiously jealous of Piekha for every pillar. Once, in order to convict his wife of treason, Alexander Alexandrovich even rushed to the Cannes Film Festival, where Muslim Magomayev was invited. The head of “Friendship” knew that the singer admired Magomayev’s talents, and was seriously worried.
Brother of Muslim Magomayev: “Sex with Edita Piekha? How could Sinyavskaya allow this to happen!”
“It seemed reasonable to me not to tell my husband that Magomayev was also going. I didn’t say it, others reported it. Within 24 hours, San Sanych received a visa and flew to France. He climbed up a drainpipe to the second floor of the hotel where we were accommodated, climbed through the window of my room and roared: “Where is Magomayev? Where did you hide it? — began to scour, looking into the bathroom, cabinets, behind the curtains... I was seething with anger and at the same time had difficulty restraining myself from laughing,” admitted Piekha.
The birth of his daughter Ilona did not soften Bronevitsky’s character
It happened that the performer returned home and immediately received a slap in the face from her chosen one: suspicions and jealousy led to scandals and fights. Once, in a fit of anger, Bronevitsky almost strangled Piekha.
Edita Piekha: “My husband was jealous of me, so we fought”
The end of the difficult relationship came when Edita Stanislavovna met KGB Colonel Gennady Shestakov. The singer divorced Alexander Alexandrovich, married a new lover, and subsequently married again - with Vladimir Polyakov. Over time, the artist managed to forgive Alexander Bronevitsky for the insults inflicted and still remembers the years she lived with him with light sadness.
GENNADY VORONIN AND INGA ARTAMONOVA
Inga Artamonova became the first in the history of speed skating to win the title of four-time absolute world champion.
Inga Artamonova had an amazing fate: she survived famine, war, and struggled for many years with the consequences of tuberculosis. Physical education classes helped her cope with the disease: first rowing, then speed skating, in which Inga became the absolute world champion.
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Her career was in jeopardy due to an affair with an “unreliable” foreigner. Artamonova fell in love with a Swede, for which she was removed from the USSR national team. She had to return to her homeland and leave her chosen one, but she still missed the 1960 Olympic Games.
Inga met her colleague Gennady Voronin in the hostel. The man courted him beautifully, and the athlete gradually developed a mutual sympathy for him. The lovers got married, and then Artamonova’s career took off: she broke four world records in all-around speed skating.
Gennady Voronin was jealous of his lover’s success
The champion’s husband never achieved great success in sports and became a coach. They said he was jealous of Inga's popularity, was terribly jealous of her, drank and started fights. Friends recalled that Artamonova often walked around covered in bruises due to beatings from her husband. At the same time, Voronin bought alcohol and lived off his wife.
Max Barskikh: “Dad drank and beat me and mom”
The sports committee persuaded Inga to wait with the divorce, but she could not stand it and divorced at the end of 1965. While waiting for the division of property, the woman moved in with her mother on New Year's Eve. This did not stop Gennady: he believed that his ex-wife had taken a lover, and on January 4 he decided to check his guess by going to his mother-in-law’s house. The coach showed up completely drunk, but that wasn’t the worst thing. With the words “my dear,” Voronin plunged a knife into his beloved’s heart. Doctors were unable to save the 29-year-old champion.
BORIS VLADIMIROV AND IRZHINA
Boris Vladimirov became famous as a member of the pop duet “Veronica Mavrikievna and Avdotya Nikitichna”
On stage, Boris Vladimirov transformed into the idol of the audience, Avdotya Nikitichna, but in reality he was not as harmless as the dear old lady. The actor turned out to be insanely jealous, and the story of how he treated his first lover, classmate Irzhina, is widely known.
The girl was popular with men and allowed herself to flirt with strangers, but nothing more. One day, a couple came to the Prague restaurant, and Irzhina was asked to dance by some tipsy visitor. At first, Boris Pavlovich behaved adequately and calmly watched his girlfriend, but soon the situation changed.
“Then, when Vladimirov himself was dancing with Irzhina, he noticed how she was making eyes at her admirer over his shoulder. Boris lost his temper and... bit her on the nose, so much so that the poor thing had to undergo surgery,” said the artist’s wife, Eleonora Prokhnitskaya.
The actor's last love was Tatyana Derzhavina
The scar remained on Irzhina’s face, and soon after the incident she broke up with the jealous man. In his marriage to Prokhnitskaya, Vladimirov could also throw a scandal due to suspicions of infidelity, but he no longer went beyond the bounds of reason. “Othello Syndrome” gave way to other vices.
“Vladimirov drank. Especially a lot - in the last year of her life,” admitted Eleonora Boleslavovna. — The fact is that Boris was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He suffered greatly, but did not tell anyone about the illness, he did not want to be pitied. No medications helped, and he tried to drown out the pain with vodka. Can you blame him for this?
What happened to the inheritance of Mikhail Derzhavin
Prokhnitskaya did not become the actor’s last love: after divorcing her, he married Mikhail Derzhavin’s sister Tatyana. “Derzhavins are not the poorest people now. But there is still no monument at the grave of their close relative Vladimirov. He doesn’t have a separate grave; he is buried on top of his mother’s coffin. On the stone after her name, the name of her son, the year of his birth and death are carved in small letters. Is it really impossible to take care of the memory of such a unique person?” — Eleonora Boleslavovna was indignant about the sad ending of her ex-husband’s story.
MEN OF LYUDMILA MARCHENKO
Lyudmila Marchenko was considered one of the main beauties of Soviet cinema
Relationships with the opposite sex brought nothing but disappointment to the actress, and there were many jealous people in her life. It all started with Ivan Pyryev, who, being 40 years older, did not hesitate to show signs of attention to the young artist. For her sake, the director of Mosfilm eventually left his wife Marina Ladynina. The director gave his favorite roles in films, and once even interceded and got her an apartment. Marchenko, due to her natural modesty and gentleness, could not directly refuse an elderly admirer, although she admitted to her sister that the very idea of \u200b\u200bgoing to bed with an old man was disgusting to her.
5 Soviet actresses whose careers were destroyed due to the harassment of Mosfilm director Ivan Pyryev
On the set of “White Nights” Lyudmila Vasilievna met Oleg Strizhenov and developed feelings for him. The actress met with her married colleague in the very apartment that Pyryev gave her. The jealous director had a stroke when he learned about Marchenko's betrayal. The artist didn’t care much about this: in her dreams she had already become Strizhenov’s wife. But Oleg Alexandrovich did not think about getting a divorce, and six months later Lyudmila Marchenko was left with nothing.
Having experienced a difficult breakup with Strizhenov, she had an abortion, and even at home. The movie star could no longer have children... Nevertheless, Lyudmila Vasilievna made an attempt to arrange her personal life and married MGIMO student Vladimir Verbenko. The union broke up a year later: the man could not stand the gossip about his wife’s relationship with Pyryev, and the director, for his part, was constantly trying to divorce the newlyweds, hoping to return the muse.
Ivan Pyryev tried for years to win Marchenko’s love
Marchenko’s next relationship with geologist Valentin Berezin turned into a terrible tragedy. Once again, the reason for the scandal was jealousy towards Pyryev, but this time it was not a simple separation. In a state of passion, Berezin beat the 26-year-old actress half to death and disfigured her face. However, while in the hospital, the artist denied her lover’s involvement in the incident and insisted that she had been in a car accident.
Alcoholism, unsuccessful abortion and a secret affair with Oleg Strizhenov: tragedies of actress Lyudmila Marchenko
“I didn’t want to betray my loved one, but I myself seemed petrified from grief. Since then, she began to drink heavily, pouring vodka on her stress and headaches, which began to haunt her,” the actress’s relatives shared.
Lyudmila Marchenko dreamed of becoming Oleg Strizhenov's wife
Only then did Pyryev finally leave Marchenko alone. But with the disappearance of his patronage, Lyudmila Vasilievna was actually left without work. The directors did not even invite her to play cameo roles. The new chosen one, Vitaly Voitenko, tried unsuccessfully to console the star, and even found a plastic surgeon who performed the operation on her. But the actress was not destined to regain her former beauty and glory.
The situation improved when the artist moved in with the artist Sergei Sokolov and began working as an assistant director. But the bright period did not last long: the unexpected death of his chosen one from a heart attack broke Marchenko. She spent her last years in seclusion, continuing to drink and complain about her fate. The once popular actress passed away at the age of 56, disappointed and devastated.
Based on materials from “Interlocutor”, “7 days”, “KP”.
Photo: Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images, from personal archives, edyta.ru, stills from the films “Olesya”, “Vertical”, “Girl Without an Address”, “Without Fear and Reproach”, “White Nights”
How to deal with runaway bride syndrome
If he or she wants to get rid of his syndrome, he or she can learn techniques that are quite successful in combating phobias. This could be a set of health-improving gymnastics exercises, such as yoga. Various asanas will help relieve stress and set you up to overcome your bad habit of breaking up. When this does not help, you should consult a psychologist. Having familiarized himself with the problem, he will choose a technique that will be effective in the fight against the fear that eats away at the soul before the wedding.
Self-Care for Runaway Bride Syndrome
When, for various reasons, it is not possible to do recreational gymnastics, you should listen to useful advice.
If you adhere to them, the fear of getting married will certainly go away. Here are a few wishes when the habit of breaking up overcomes you:
- Look at yourself from the outside
. Let's say a timid person is afraid of a wedding. There are a lot of people, everyone meticulously examines the outfit of the bride and groom. You feel uncomfortable under the cross glances. What if something goes wrong or, God forbid, I faint! So that the pre-wedding jitters do not plunge you into stress, when it comes to abandoning the marriage, imagine that this is happening not to you, but to someone else. Such a “distraction” will reassure you, everything will go well. - Don't isolate yourself
. You need to share your problem with your loved one and loved ones. It’s good to have pre-wedding gatherings with friends - saying goodbye to your maiden (bachelor) life. Such an event will distract you from stupid thoughts and help you gain self-confidence. - “I’m no worse than others!”
. There is no need to indulge your fears. Only courage and self-confidence! Are you really worse than millions of people who get married without any complexes about it? Pre-wedding excitement is common to everyone, but not everyone runs away from their wedding. - Don't get hung up on little things
. Marriage is a serious step in life. No everyday troubles should influence such an important decision. If you have doubts that he (she) has bad habits, for example, smoking a lot or randomly throwing things around the room, you need to talk about it frankly. Should such trifles really affect relationships? What about love then? - Expectations from marriage
. Sensual love is wonderful! However, family everyday life leaves its mark on life together. You need to be prepared for this. And then there will be no feeling of fear when you think, “Is it worth getting married? Maybe I should wait?” - Critical attitude towards yourself
. You can’t change your character, but you need to know your weaknesses and try to fight them. If you are overcome by anxiety about your relationship with your lover, you need to analyze your and his actions in a special diary. A critical analysis of the “flights” will help you make the right decision when it comes to the wedding.
If a guy or girl showed cowardice at an important moment in their life, it’s hard to justify. Such an act can ruin the rest of your life. And the excuse that he (she) turned out to be the wrong person at all is just verbiage, behind which there is spiritual emptiness. In this case, one would like to ask: “Where did you look before?”
Psychological assistance for runaway bride syndrome
When it is impossible to cope with your syndrome on your own, you need the help of a psychologist.
In this case, the visualization technique is effective. Let's say a girl likes two guys. She must imagine how she will feel with each of them in 5-10 years. What kind of family will she have, where will they live, will there be children, how will both take care of her? If you think about it seriously, such thoughts may appear in a dream. And this will also be a hint to whom the soul lies. In the end, you can even write yourself a letter from a “beautiful distance.” And in it, try to answer yourself with whom in this “distant” it will be better.
It is quite possible that such a psychological approach will help to “escape” from the fear of getting married.
It is important to know!
All fears lie in the characteristics of the individual’s psyche. If your character is anxious and suspicious, you need to try to get rid of the preconditions that “indulge” such a state. Only in this case is it possible to forget about such a phobia as runaway bride syndrome. What is runaway bride syndrome - watch the video: Running away from your wedding may seem like a drastic step to some. Although this kind of act rather characterizes the unstable character of someone who despairs of it. Whether it's a girl or a guy. Only lack of confidence in oneself and one’s feelings can push one to such a “feat.” Its consequences can be the saddest. Such a person will run from himself and his problems all his life. Unless, of course, he tries to deal with them.
Bride Syndrome: The Dream of the Perfect Wedding
As practice shows, all the bride’s worries are groundless and remain only in thoughts, and even then until the end of the wedding. There's really no need to worry. There is only one reason to bring yourself to a nervous state - if the groom does not come.
As you know, the groom is more relaxed about the wedding than the bride. The man will not worry about how the hall will be decorated and whether there will be enough food, he is simply sure that everything will be of the highest class. A woman worries about every little thing, some even have dreams that the wedding did not take place for some reason.
Many brides do not understand that with their restless thoughts they are spoiling their holiday. What should I do? In this case, girlfriends will help!
Sometimes a girl at her wedding looks scared and confused, she is lost somewhere in her thoughts, and tears come to her eyes every now and then. Here, friends must certainly come to the rescue, namely, praise her and the groom, admire the organization of the wedding, constantly “pull” the bride out of her thoughts and under no circumstances let her cry. It happens that the newlywed looks like a snow queen or Princess Nesmeyana. On the one hand, she behaves confidently, but on the other, she is aloof. In this case, it’s worth defrosting her, or rather making her laugh in the literal sense of the word. If the bride tries to control everything and also “bear” the organization of the holiday, then her friends and relatives need to take on all the worries themselves.
You don’t have to keep telling yourself “everything will be fine.” It is enough to calm yourself from the inside. If you are afraid for the quality of video shooting, hire the best videographer in your city. If before the wedding you began to think about the correctness of your choice and whether your man is right for you, then maybe you should think about canceling the wedding. Love sweeps away all doubts.
Are you worried about the design of your restaurant? In this case, you should entrust this to a trusted person or agency. It is also worth choosing a toastmaster, and even better, coordinating the entire program with her. Try to distribute responsibilities, because it’s hard to remember everything. For example, dad will go for the torus, mom will take care of the loaf, mother-in-law will make sure that all the guests have a place, and so on.
Even if something happened at the wedding, for example, the veil was torn, makeup was smeared, then look at it from the other side! Be more optimistic! This is your day, and you need to live it to the fullest! And remember, such moments are remembered for a long time, and then you will remember it with a smile and share stories about your unusual wedding with your children.
