Features of the first intimacy after childbirth.

Pregnancy is the process of gestation that ends with the birth of a long-awaited baby.

Everything went well. The happy mother was brought home. The baby is healthy, and so is mommy. All relatives gather at the festive table. Everything is fine, everything is fine.

But, unfortunately, always and everywhere there are pitfalls. Almost every family faces problems in their intimate life after childbirth.

Causes of problems:

1. Postpartum injuries. Fear of possible recurrence of pain.

2. Vaginal dryness. The mother’s body is “tuned” to ensure that nothing distracts from breastfeeding. This is due to hormonal changes. The hormone responsible for pleasure (prolactin) is weakened by the hormone responsible for the production of breast milk (prolactin).

In order to reduce dryness in intimate areas, you should use special lubricants, for example, gelatin.

3. Sometimes the baby is very capricious. A lot of energy goes into a day: feed, wash, clean. Sleepless nights exhaust parents. The desire for “love” with a partner disappears. It is very difficult for mom to switch her attention. In this case, the following steps will help:

Ask your husband to put the baby to bed himself.
Take a warm, relaxing bath.
Massage. A very effective way to relax.

4. Memories. Have a romantic evening. With candles and cake. Talk to your husband about “past loves.” Remember the most pleasant moments from your life together.

Remember: it is not advisable to eat a lot of sweets while breastfeeding. The baby may have a stomach ache, and naturally the “evening” will turn into unpleasant moments in the morning.

5. As soon as the opportunity arises to leave the baby to grandmothers, they need to take advantage of it. Don't beat yourself up. You are not a “bad mother”; you are not “abandoning your baby.” Free personal time is simply necessary to restore your intimate life after the birth of a child.

6. It is worth noting that postpartum depression can also occur in the head of the family (the baby’s dad). It is necessary to surround your loved one with affection and care. Don't forget about your husband. He needs your love no less than a child.

7. Dissatisfaction with your body. A saggy belly after childbirth is a normal body condition. Very soon it will be possible to “fix” everything with the help of physical exercises. Many women develop a complex and withdraw into themselves due to dissatisfaction with their body after childbirth. You need to learn to love yourself. Get rid of “unnecessary” thoughts from your head. Moreover, sex is an excellent “exercise” for restoring body shape.

Restoration of intimate life can only be resolved by a doctor, after a thorough examination of the condition of the female body.

Most often, the “lifting of the ban” on intimacy occurs in the second month after childbirth. Right now the body is completely restored. Early intimacy can lead to serious complications, such as bleeding.

By following simple rules, everything will get better very soon. Intimate life will gain momentum again.

Remember: if there is no prohibition from the doctor, all the problems are in the head. If you can’t cope with the problem on your own, you can and should use the services of a psychologist.

I'm very afraid of sex after childbirth

Good afternoon, dear psychologists!

I am 23, married for 5 years, I have always had a very warm, trusting relationship with my husband, I love him. 5 months ago I gave birth to a wonderful daughter, beloved and desired, and since then I have lost interest in intimacy. I would say more - I feel nauseous when I try to imagine direct sexual intercourse. The birth was normal, without complications, apart from the transience and episiotomy, but for some reason I still remember that day with tears in my eyes, I relive the pain, fear, loss and humiliation (my husband was not allowed in, and I, confused, did not stand for yourself and for your rights), then this feeling as if you were in prison... After being discharged, I began to sit down for the first time a month later, and the ban on sex was for 2 months. By that time, I began to think that I was now not only a mother (which, by the way, still doesn’t fit in my head), but also a wife, and that sooner or later I would have to renew my relationship with my husband. That’s when I discovered that I didn’t feel any attraction, but only fear of pain, dislike of my own body. Although I try to look good, I dress prettier, makeup is a must, I do a little sports when I find time, I have lost weight, I can already wear pre-pregnancy clothes, although I am far from ideal. Those. With my brain, I understand that I look normal, but I still can’t do anything about my shame. Previously, I was always embarrassed by my husband, and now even more so. A month ago I began to tune myself into a romantic wave, to fight my fears, but a visit to the gynecologist ruined everything - it was painful, and this brought me back to my starting point. And the other day the devil pulled me to look THERE with a mirror, because I couldn’t “recognize” anything with my hands and the feeling of being “turned inside out” didn’t give me peace. What I saw plunged me into quiet horror, it was painful even to watch. I felt so disgusted, I began to feel more disgust towards myself sexually.

But that would be fine, over time I would probably come to terms with it and get used to it. My husband didn’t demand anything from me that sometimes I even worried: “Why doesn’t he show interest in me? Did he stop liking me? Does he only see me as a mother?” After all, he never once asked about this question, and that’s fine. But I wanted love, affection, tenderness, pleasant words, and at least a simple “thank you for my daughter” would have helped me feel like a woman - I told him about this. Having decided for myself that he himself was still getting used to the new role, I calmed down... But yesterday, after a glass of wine, having incorrectly assessed my reproaches about the lack of attention, he began to pester me. I was scared, everything flashed before my eyes - the birth, and all sorts of unpleasant moments after, and the gynecologist’s examination, and thoughts about appearance, and the teachings of my parents (which side is unclear), and the fact that my daughter was sleeping behind the wall so clean and bright... She asked me to stop - it didn’t work out, she said that I didn’t need a second child, tried to change the topic, but in a panic nothing came to mind. And also his casually thrown phrase: “you’ve always been like this” (meaning uptight) - it made me want to collapse on the spot, it was deeply offensive. I burst into tears. He, of course, stopped, consoled me, asked me to stop being offended and sad.

We don’t raise this topic anymore. And I’m doubly offended, because I always (before giving birth) dreamed that he would take the initiative, show that he wanted me, that I was desirable to him. And then I get all this, but at what an inopportune moment!

Now I don’t even know how to build relationships (intimate) further. Without them, there is no married life. Or does it happen? In principle, we lived quite happily for these 5 months + 2-3 before giving birth were also impossible - and nothing...

To be honest, I'm not sure I can get any help here. I just don’t have anyone else to talk about this with, but I really wanted to speak out, and it’s accumulated.

Thanks to whoever read.

Special thanks in advance for your answers.

Sex after childbirth

After the birth of a baby, a huge number of changes occur in a woman’s body, which can have a significant impact on the quantity and quality of sexual contacts with her spouse.

The first time after the birth of a child, a woman generally wants little - this is due to the reduced production of sex hormones responsible for conception. The first signs of sexual arousal in a woman appear immediately after the restoration of the normal menstrual cycle .

If a woman gave birth naturally , then she should abstain from sex for at least the first 4 weeks after birth - during this time the uterus contracts and returns to its usual size. Her cervix still remains open after the baby is born, and therefore there is a risk of infection when having sex. While lochia is present, the uterus is cleared after childbirth, and during this period, vaginal sex is also contraindicated. Ideally, you should resume sexual activity after a natural birth no earlier than 40-60 days later.

But what if your spouse really wants it? The easiest way is oral sex . They can be practiced a week after giving birth, since clitoral orgasm during this period will not harm the woman.

Only those contacts during which the penis penetrates the healing vagina are prohibited. If a woman does not want sex, then she should meet her husband’s wishes and please him with oral sex. This will help maintain a calm atmosphere in the family and avoid conflicts on sexual grounds.

If a woman had a planned cesarean section , then the moment of first postpartum sex is postponed for an even longer period. Until the sutures on the uterus have completely healed, any vaginal contact is prohibited. Active stress during sex can cause sutures to diverge , or infection to enter the uterine cavity. Therefore, for women who have recently undergone a cesarean section, oral sex and mutual masturbation are also recommended instead of full sexual contact.

Features of sexual life

Two to four months after giving birth, you can begin sexual relations. However, we should not forget about contraceptive methods, because the theory that it is impossible for a woman to become pregnant during lactation and until the onset of her first period after childbirth does not always work! How many children were born, proving the opposite!

If having another baby is in your plans soon, you can ignore condoms, but if you decide that one baby is enough, watch out!

If you don’t like condoms, visit a gynecologist, he will select more suitable means of contraception. You can listen to what the doctor says about this, you can study reviews about these products on the Internet - it’s up to you. But coitus interruptus cannot be trusted at all!

Sex should bring joy to partners, only then the relationship becomes stronger and trust grows. Joy for each other is great care for each other, great responsibility and the key to strong family relationships.

Postpartum period and uterine recovery 2

After a cesarean section, the postpartum woman spends another 3-4 days in a hospital setting. During this time, doctors monitor her condition to avoid possible complications. She is gradually taken off painkillers, the urethral catheter is removed and she is prepared for discharge. In the early postpartum period, a woman bleeds “down below,” despite the fact that she did not give birth naturally. This happens because the uterus, which expanded during pregnancy, contracts to return to its original size. But there is much less blood after a caesarean section. This may be due to the fact that part of it is removed during surgery.

But you shouldn’t expect the bleeding to stop earlier than after 4-6 weeks. After all, it will take at least 6 weeks for the cervix to completely close and the uterus to shrink to normal size. This is a physiological feature of a woman, dictated by nature. And, as you know, she doesn’t care whether the woman gave birth herself or was helped.

It is very important for a woman to abstain from sexual activity during this period. Complete restoration of the uterus is the key to comfortable and safe sex. In the first 4-6 weeks after giving birth, women are not even recommended to use tampons, let alone have full sex.

In any case, postpartum women should undergo a routine postpartum examination by a gynecologist after 6 weeks. And then the doctor will definitely tell you about the prospects for reviving sexual activity.

Reasons for bans

It is impossible to start having sex immediately after childbirth for the following reasons:

Heavy bleeding (lochia) after childbirth can last from 15 days to 6-9 weeks. During these weeks, the body is cleansed, restored, and undergoes an active healing process, which is highly undesirable to interfere with.
You can further damage the woman’s reproductive system, since during childbirth there could be complications such as ruptures, incisions, bleeding and much, much more. You just need to abstain a little (3 weeks or more), and the body will recover on its own.
A woman almost always experiences pain during the first few times after pregnancy. This is caused by the fact that unpleasant sensations arise during penetration and friction of the male organ against the recently damaged uterus and vagina, which, in turn, will not only hurt the woman, but this can cause problems with sutures that have not yet fully healed and are bleeding.
Sex in the first weeks after childbirth can lead to dire consequences: genital tract infections can incapacitate a woman for a long time, depriving her of the joy of motherhood for many weeks while hospital treatment lasts. The reason is a decrease in immunity; infection can be picked up even if you carefully observe personal hygiene.
Psychological fear can haunt a woman in labor for many weeks, because she suffered fear, pain, shock - and all because she once had careless sex. Now, in addition to the fear of pain, there is also the fear of getting pregnant, the fear of losing attractiveness, the fear of not satisfying your beloved husband (after all, the uterus and vagina are still very stretched).

When can I resume sex?i

There is no specific time frame for when a woman should abstain and when she can take active action. According to statistics, most women begin to have sex again 4-6 weeks after giving birth.

After a caesarean section, the internal genital organs bleed less and the woman recovers a little faster. But it will still take at least 6 weeks for the cervix to close completely. But these are general, average terms that are not relevant for everyone. When a woman feels well, and the gynecologist assesses her condition as satisfactory and gives permission to resume sexual activity, returning to bed may happen earlier.

What will a woman have to face during the recovery period and in sex after childbirth?

When can you start having sex?

The opinion of doctors on this issue is clear - 4-6 weeks or 40 days. During this time, the uterus should normally shrink to its natural size, and the placenta will heal. The vagina also needs time to return to normal.

You can speed up this process by doing Kegel exercises . They will help improve the tone of the vaginal walls, and will also save many women who have the problem of involuntary urination after childbirth.

But there are also exceptions. If you had tears during childbirth and received stitches, you should wait until they heal. As a rule, this period lasts up to 2 months. The discomfort in the suture area should go away completely within six months after birth.

Many mothers who have given birth via cesarean section believe that they can have sex as soon as the stitch on their stomach heals, but this is not entirely true. The uterine suture can take much longer to heal. Therefore, the recovery period for them will be from 4 to 8 weeks.

Discharge after sex after childbirth

Good afternoon, young mothers. Let's talk about discharge after sex after childbirth. A woman, after being discharged from the maternity hospital, faces a relatively long recovery period. Childbirth is a joyful, but quite traumatic event that brings a number of consequences that change the life and health of a woman.

Changes are also observed in the sphere of intimate relationships. Restoring sexual life after childbirth should be very careful, since a woman’s health during this period is very fragile.

Sex after childbirth is not always a pleasant event. Very often, the first attempts at intimacy end in pain, bleeding or discharge.

During the postpartum period, it is important for a woman to be very attentive to her health, so the slightest symptoms should not be ignored.

Therefore, discharge after sex after childbirth cannot be ignored, as it may be pathological. Let's consider what can trigger the appearance of discharge after sexual intercourse during the postpartum recovery period.

Discharge after sex after childbirth - causes

The postpartum period is special and cannot be compared to anything else. During this period, many factors influence a woman’s sexual relations. But, it is important to take into account the features of the postpartum period that affect the process of restoring sexual relations.

The fact is that in the postpartum period, discharge is a normal phenomenon, as a rule, but there are exceptions. Let's look at the reasons for discharge after sex in the postpartum period.

All women know that childbirth is a rather painful and traumatic process. Even if the process of natural childbirth proceeded normally, without complications, there will still be injuries and there will be some blood loss.

In what cases is it necessary to go to the hospital?

In some cases, the appearance of discharge after sexual intercourse is an alarming symptom of a developing problem. In such situations, you shouldn’t put off going to the hospital, and sometimes you shouldn’t waste time at all. Let's look at when to go to the hospital.

If bleeding occurs during the postpartum period after sex, you should urgently call an ambulance. Very often, due to postpartum hemorrhage, women lose a lot of blood or get an infection that can even cause sepsis.

If the discharge after sex after childbirth has acquired an unpleasant odor, you should also contact your gynecologist as soon as possible. This may indicate a developing inflammatory process in the uterine cavity or vagina. Also, the cause of an unpleasant odor from vaginal discharge may be a fungal infection.

In some cases, if this is the first sex after childbirth, the discharge may be bloody and intense, and you also feel pain during sexual intercourse - this may indicate that the internal or external suture has come apart. It is necessary to urgently go to the hospital for examination and treatment.

There is a very big danger if, in addition to discharge after sexual intercourse, a high temperature also rises. It is not recommended to self-medicate - you will only waste precious time, and the consequences can be dire.

As you can see, discharge after sex after childbirth is not always a normal and natural process. Therefore, be attentive to your health and the signals that your body gives. This way you can prevent serious consequences in time and maintain your health.

Remember - your health, and possibly your life, depends on how quickly you contact a medical facility if suspicious symptoms are detected.
Did you like the article? Share with friends on social networks: