Well, the day has come when you will meet him face to face. Any doubts that he really likes you are dispelled. This means there is a chance to become his lover and hear a sincere declaration of feelings. But why are all women so nervous on the first, or even the second, third date? Everything is simple, just a little more, and before your eyes there will be the one you dreamed about at night and thought about instead of doing homework, assignments, and work. If you are worried, it means that your feelings for him are really valid. Do you think there's something wrong with him? Believe me, men feel even worse before their first date. It’s not for nothing that some of them miss a drink or two, and, being carried away, are sometimes unable to utter a word. Don't scold him too much, this is how he disguises his shyness. So, what does a representative of the fairer sex need to know before preparing for a first date? Let’s find out in order.
What are we waiting for
Of course, when preparing for the first meeting with someone you care about, you live in hope. That everything will work out well and your relationship will continue. The fact that he will not disappoint you and will appear the way you imagined him. The fact that the meeting will be easy and relaxed, and you will not let him doubt that you are the best and only for him. But we must understand that the meeting must be mutually desired and agreed upon. And here it’s worth deciding whether to wait for his initiative or take decisive steps yourself.
Despite the rapid surge of feminism in the modern world, men still love modest women who do not get ahead of their dad. So wait, let him mature and really show a desire to meet you. But there is one “But” - his character. If your heart belongs to a modest person who is not able to take the first step, take matters into your own hands, otherwise years of waiting will not lead to anything good. But before that, make sure that he also has an interest in you. You see that the other person is passionate and does not want to build a relationship with you - give up this idea, no matter how offensive it may be to you.
He's just shy - what are your actions?
Hint that you can buy a ticket to a concert with your favorite singer or group. If it doesn't help, buy tickets to a movie or a concert and invite him, but do it in such a way that he can cancel his plans. Seeing that you tried for him and spent money, he will never refuse.
The situation is as follows: you don’t know each other well, but you have common friends. Inviting him is somehow inconvenient, but you can show your interest when communicating at parties, significant dates that your friends celebrate. The best way to find out whether there is a chance for a relationship is to “cast the bait.” You need to share with one of your friends that you really liked that guy. Believe me, word of mouth works almost faster than the Internet. At the speed of sound, your words will reach his ears, and he will show interest himself. If not, he’s either too modest or you’re not his type.
Try to get close to this person. Find out from mutual friends what interests he has, what he does, what hobbies he has, etc. And as soon as the information is in your “hands,” when the opportunity arises, tell him that you really love this and that (everything he is interested in). Just look, he will invite you fishing, take you out of town for a horse ride, entertain beer and ramming lovers at his favorite club, etc.
First meeting
So it was a long flight. And before him are the preparations, the nerves, the anticipation of the meeting. Everything has already been decided, we will meet, we will see each other! What will the meeting be like? You will have to say something... And in your head there are thoughts, images of what will happen. I replayed the scenario in my head many times, and even the words that I would say... But they seemed to evaporate, flew out of my head when I saw him. The airport in his city is small, and the town is very small, the population is just over 100 thousand people. We were taken from the plane by bus to the building. Terrible cold, unusual, dry frost, my face immediately froze, there was just a little bit left. This is the same feeling when what you are looking forward to so much is already very close and your head becomes somehow empty... Your hands are shaking, you are nervous, your legs seem to give way and you don’t know at all how to behave further. I was the last one to enter the airport building; I saw him from the street. He stood shifting from foot to foot, peering into the faces of those who had arrived. I look up again and realize that he saw me too. I looked away, I just couldn’t look at him, but he stood there and waited. He's probably looking at me. I go through passport control, there is one right behind the metal detector, very close. I take my passport, take a step and simply wrap my arms around his torso. Firmly. Very. He hugged me by the shoulders and also pressed me tightly. Burying my face in his jacket, I inhaled the smell, I didn’t believe it, I just couldn’t believe that we were close and that I was hugging him now! I don’t know how long we stood like that, but then I raised my head and looked into his eyes. It was such a magical moment. How long have I waited! How long I suffered! Why? Why did you hide your gaze from me? You are beautiful, my dear! How the heart beats. And him too. I could really feel his ragged breathing.
He took my travel bag and hung it over his shoulder. He took me by the hand, I thought that was it. Let's go out. But no, he hugged me again, this time by the waist, lifted me so that I was higher than him, I muttered something, let me go, what are you talking about, I’m heavy. By the way, my weight is 50 kg. He shook his head, then pressed his lips to the tip of my nose. Kissed. He let me go. It seemed like I was about to collapse unconscious. Everything was so exciting. Someone kept spinning around, “Taxi Taxi!” My man turned to the taxi driver and asked how far to the north. He answered: 500. Okay, let's go. He took me by the hand and led me out, following the taxi driver. We went outside, oh, how frosty it is there! And dark!!! Although the time is only 4 pm. Polar night... We got to the car, he opened the door for me, put me in the back seat, and closed it. He sat down next to him. Go. And only now I realized that we are still wearing gloves. Both. You need to take them off and join hands. Somehow it happened naturally. And now, his hot palm is already squeezing mine. My soul felt so warm, I suddenly felt so calm. Living touch to each other. I reached up and kissed his cheek. I really wanted to. I couldn't help myself. A smoothly shaved cheek, smelling of his scent... Such a familiar smell at once. He became embarrassed like a child, lowered his eyes, smiled, and squeezed my palm tighter. We didn't say anything, we just drove and held hands. A little later, when we were approaching the city, he began to talk about our route and what we were passing by. I asked how long it would take to go, and he replied that by their standards it was a bit far, but by mine, probably very close. I live in a metropolis and we really got there quickly.
The taxi stopped at the entrance, he paid and got out, while I was looking for a handle to open the door, it swung open in front of me, and he was already standing there. And he insists that she put on gloves, and then he took her by the hand and helped her out of the car. Entrance. His apartment. I’m standing on the threshold, and he himself gets down and takes off my boots. He took it off, took me into the room with my clothes on, there he already unbuttoned and took off my jacket, and got rid of my outerwear himself. I hung everything in the closet. And now I hugged him for real. Warmth spreading throughout my body, I stroked his back with my hands, so slender, so tall, and he also hugs me. He grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me tenderly on the lips. I stood as if made of wood, afraid to even move. I didn’t want to frighten off the moment so much. Favorite eyes. You are so handsome. You smell so good. You kiss so tenderly. You are my.
After a couple of minutes, he became concerned about my condition, asking what I wanted, coffee, juice, dinner? I answered just coffee. Let's go to the kitchen. On the way, he talked on the phone and found out when we could go to the rented apartment and whether it was ready. It turned out we had about an hour left, so we had time to drink coffee. We couldn’t stay with him (I already wrote in the comments to the previous post), because he lives with his older sister and her little child and we wouldn’t be able to be alone. That's why we decided to remove it. He sat me down on the soft kitchen sofa and turned on the light. Marvelous! It has a soft warm light everywhere. So cozy. He started making coffee himself. I bought milk in advance, because I don’t drink without milk. I've done everything. He placed a mug in front of me. He sat down next to him. He stroked my cheek, took my legs and put them on his lap, stroking them. “Are you comfortable like this?”, of course I was comfortable. I drank coffee, he stroked my legs, looked at each other, sometimes kissed. I also wanted to touch him, I took his hand and stroked his fingers. Long, skinny fingers. What a blessing this is. It's like a dream. You are so gentle, so sweet, why did you constantly act like you were a bastard and an asshole? These are the thoughts that flashed through my head. It’s really and still difficult for me to understand how caring and gentle this man turned out to be when we met and were close. Before that, I considered him so distant and angry sometimes, cruel, spitting on all people and their souls. I considered him incapable of such affectionate actions. It's like a completely different person. And in reality he doesn’t like people, he doesn’t really care about anyone except himself. And now me. He doesn’t care about other people’s problems at all, he doesn’t even try to delve into them. But with me it's the exact opposite. And I am incredibly happy about this.
When it was time to go, he helped me get dressed, knelt down, buttoned my boots, buttoned my jacket, got dressed himself and again (and always in the future) opened the taxi door, sat me down, closed it. We've arrived. It turned out to be a large three-room apartment, very comfortable. He helped me undress again, and even pulled off my gloves himself. He looked after him like a child. I immediately went to the shower, he sat and waited for me in the kitchen, with tea and sandwiches already prepared. After having a snack, we hugged, didn’t even really say anything, just close contact, covering our heads, hugging constantly, constantly, sometimes kissing. How hot he is, my northern man. He told me before the meeting that he is always hot and hot, never freezes. But I thought he was exaggerating. It turned out not. Physical warmth emanated from him. This is strange to me with my poor blood circulation and eternally cold hands and feet, which he constantly warmed. I'll probably omit the intimate details. Let me just say that they coincided there too.
Later, when I was simply passed out from fatigue, he offered me his shoulder, put my head on it, covered me tightly with a blanket, pressed me to him, stroked my hair, so hot. In my sleep I heard him whispering “my little one is tired, go to sleep, honey” and hugged me tighter. I don’t know why, after some time, I woke up and opened my eyes. I don’t know how long I slept, but I’m guessing it wasn’t long. We were already lying facing each other, he looked at me, apparently sleeping. Why are not you sleeping? -Because I want to look at you. Am I not allowed to look at my young lady? Sleep, rest.
And I fell asleep again.
In the morning we brushed our teeth and washed our face together, always close, always physical contact. My man turned out to be so touching (from the word “touch”))). He always touched me, and I touched him too. He always woke up earlier and waited for me to open my eyes, lay next to me and watched. When going out for a walk or to the store, he always held one of my hands in his own, clenched each finger into a fist and clasped it, forced me to hide the other in my pocket so that it wouldn’t freeze. If he met a strong wind in his face, he turned his back to it, grabbed me in his arms, hid my face and stood there until it subsided, or slowly walked with his back, holding me. They both laughed when my eyelashes turned white in the cold, this was the first time this happened to me and it was very interesting and surprising for me. He kept asking if I was cold, maybe he should buy me a warmer hat, a scarf, and mittens. Everyone tried to dress him warmer, hug him, protect him. I refused. I still bought warm slippers so that I could walk around at home. And in the morning, when I got up, he, lying on the sofa, handed them to me with his hand and helped me put them on. He also dressed me in his robe and wrapped me up; it was, of course, too big for me, but I felt nice and warm. Later, when I left, he said that the robe still smelled like me and he enjoyed wearing it.
Taught them to breathe northern air. You can’t take big breaths, breathe only through your nose, and other small nuances. He took great care of my health. I was a little cold, so I immediately put her in a taxi and took me home, giving me some tea. He also cooked himself. Even though he doesn't know how to cook. As he dreamed, he made me tea, sat me down at the table, I told me how to cook and he cooked. He cleaned it, cut it, and gave it to me to try. “The young lady must be fed deliciously and pampered.” He would hug me in the evenings and always admire my “cute little arms and legs.” He kissed, touched, stroked every finger. Crazy amount of physical contact. Just a huge amount. Later he admitted that hugging me gave him the greatest pleasure of anyone he had ever hugged. Sometimes they went to visit him and spent time in his room and kitchen. I really liked his apartment. His cozy room, a bachelor's room, of course. But it’s in order, clean and with pleasant lighting, a neatly made bed, a clean computer desk, a comfortable chair. And no less cozy kitchen. And incredibly delicious coffee made by my favorite northern person. So caring and gentle. So polite and courteous. So strong.
Despite all the attempts to protect me from the cold and wind, I still caught a cold. Then he ran early in the morning to the pharmacy and bought everything there. He treated, kissed, took care of, turned on movies, warmed in his arms. When I said, “You’ll get sick too,” he shrugged it off and said that it’s not scary. I was sick for only a short time. We still had a little time left before I left. I felt the inevitable moment of parting, dry tears, a lump in my throat. On the last day, or rather morning, we sat in the kitchen and drank tea, he calmed me down as best he could and hugged me to him, stroked my hair, said that this is not the end, there is no need to be so upset, we will definitely see each other again. At the airport, I was the last one to go through security again. A tight hug, I was already crying, he wiped my tears with a handkerchief and kissed my eyes, saying that these beautiful eyes should not cry. “Are you mine?”, “Yours.” All yours. And you are mine". I went into the inspection room, turned to the door, but he didn’t leave. I stood and watched. Big, sad eyes. These are the most beautiful eyes for me. Favorite eyes. I watched until the last minute, until the door was closed. On the plane, I wrote him an SMS: “I already miss you, I’ll write from Moscow.” The answer was “I miss you too.” pleasant flight". The most painful and precious thing is “I miss you.” I cried, of course. I didn’t want to fly away, I really wanted to stay in his strong sweet embrace. But it was necessary, I needed to go home.
This was at the beginning of January 2020. Time has passed since then, we communicate every day. We correspond a lot and talk on Skype. He gave me a webcam and now we are also looking at each other. Over time, I got used to our “distant communication”; he is always with me. I'm happy. In the spring he went on vacation and went home to Moldova. He also often called from there, showed the house, talked about what life was like there. He talked about his family, no longer hiding anything, he let them in further into his life. Nothing is scary anymore, we are together. From there he brought me a pink toy bear. As I promised, once upon a time. In the first post I wrote about this. We nicknamed him Gentleman Bear because he has a bow tie)
In July, I again flew to visit my northern man, fell in love with the summer tundra, it was very beautiful in his city, even wild. Always day. It doesn't get dark at all in summer. And again hugs, a great time, care and tenderness. He still kisses my hands and whispers that I am his sweet little girl. Lots of walks, movies, ice cream, holding hands through a puddle on the road, sitting on a bench in the park, surprise: blueberries grow right in the center of the city, small northern trees, beautiful sky, always in an embrace or by the hand, incessant kisses everywhere: just turns to himself, with his palms behind his face, gently and kisses softly, sweetly on the lips. Don't care about passers-by or cars. Always together and always close.
My dear northern man, I am infinitely glad that you are mine.
Getting ready for a date the right way
Probably one of the readers witnessed the hysteria of a girl who lost contact with the guy she liked after the first date. She selflessly refused get-togethers and parties, and stupidly flipped through her phone's call log in the hope of finding a missed call. No, if he didn’t call, it means he didn’t like you. Something went wrong. And if he initially agreed, there was sympathy, a desire to get closer. In order not to step on the “rake” of such losers, we suggest you carefully listen to our advice.
What to wear to your first meeting
- Most heartbreaking love stories focus on what a woman looks like on the first date. Dressed modestly, gracefully, but tastefully. Men, apparently, are fascinated by tenderness and mystery. And small wildflowers in the form of blooming flax or cornflowers will arouse only positive, pure desires in his thoughts.
- As for shoes, it is believed that neat shoes with low heels will be just right. The main thing is that the girl knows how to wear it all. But these days things are completely different. If you feel more comfortable in your favorite jeans, sneakers or stylish sneakers, please wear them. It’s much worse when, on the first date, because of tradition, she constantly trips because of her heels, catches her dress on branches, etc. It's important to comply here. For a meeting in nature or a park, comfortable jeans are better, but in a cafe you can wear something more suitable.
- The issue of clothing is a matter of comfort. High-heeled shoes can quickly tire you out and cause your feet to chafe. What kind of pleasure can we talk about then, when the first desire is to quickly get home and remove these “shackles”. New, never used shoes can play a particularly cruel joke. The same applies to dresses, skirts, and trousers. Before going out in public wearing them, try them on at home, walk around, and get used to the outfit.
- What not to do: Don’t go on a first date in too revealing clothes - mini skirts, deep neckline, large slit, too tight figure, etc. All this is a sign of bad taste and vulgarity. It feels like you are going to meet a pimp, who would like that? Moreover, the man will decide that you are ready for “anything” and will start pestering you. Don't be surprised, you yourself pushed him to this.
- Under no circumstances should you be like the girls pole dancing and don’t even think about putting on “tons” of makeup. Everything should be elegant, he should understand that you have subtle and elegant taste. When meeting, men project everything into the future. And it is completely unpleasant for him to imagine his family life next to one that looks vulgar and tasteless. A sense of style also speaks about the mental component of a woman. And what kind of man wants to see a lady with oddities, an eccentric and vulgar nature as the mother of his children?
- No one says that you don’t need to wear makeup for a meeting. Like, let him love the way he is. We forgot - men love with their eyes, whether we like it or not, so be consistent. Cosmetics should highlight your beauty and look natural. Before applying it, choose the right foundation, hide all the imperfections of your skin on the face, neck and décolleté. And make sure that the applied shadows and mascara do not smear in the midst of communication, you risk frightening the man, and he will simply run away.
You just need to focus on your dignity, maybe it’s your lips or eyes. The tone depends on the time of the date. For a daytime meeting you should use less bright colors, in the evening brighter colors.
How to smell
A woman’s aroma is an important component of the image that a man paints in his thoughts. And in general, psychologists say that if he buys into your scent, he is yours forever. And you should remember - the aroma should match your appearance. There is no need for too strong and sweet odors that cause an attack of suffocation. Give preference to light, refreshing floral notes.
What should the hairstyle be like?
As for the hair, its shape should completely match your outfit. But please, don’t build Babel towers or domes on your head a la Lena Lenskaya, but don’t even think about going on a date with disheveled, unwashed locks. Men adore women's curls and are simply delighted with freely flowing strands.
Your image immediately takes on a romantic and gentle style. A good option is curls pinned at the back of the head. And it seems strict, but on the other hand it is elegant and tasteful.
Small but important details
Beautiful and well-groomed nails are a clear sign of a clean woman who knows how to take care of herself. No need for 3-centimeter false nails or blue or bright green polishes. Let everything be modest and beautiful. Otherwise, you might end up in his eye with your claws or you won’t be able to taste the oysters properly. Just imagine what the picture will look like when you are trying to eat, but your nails do not allow you to bring food to your mouth.
Distractions
And finally, the final touch to the portrait is your ability to take time to communicate. What most often gets in the way of this? That's right, our mobile devices. If you might get a serious call from your family, colleagues or one of your friends, put it on silent mode. Otherwise, turn off the phone, do not let it interfere with the development of your relationship with its beeps and beeps for every message.
Where to meet
Of course, if the initiator was a man, then, as a rule, he should ask about your preferences, where it would be easier and more pleasant to communicate. But modern youth are structured differently - the guy decides in any case, but when inviting him on a date, you need to share your desires.
A very important point. Most dating these days takes place through the Internet, and few women understand who she is about to meet. She doesn’t know what kind of person he is, what thoughts and plans he has for her. Of course, there is always room in the soul for the hope that there will be communication with a good and decent man. But this doesn't always happen. In order to protect yourself from troubles, do not agree to his offers to meet at his home, in a quiet and secluded park, outside the city, etc. The date should only take place where you wish. The place should be open and crowded. And also, tell your close people that you are going to meet a stranger from the Internet. It would be nice if someone could accompany you. The measures may be too strict, but these are the times, you need to be careful.
Second, no less important point. If a man asks where you would like to meet, do not make a date at an expensive restaurant or club. It is quite possible that he does not have such funds and decides that he is unlikely to be interesting to you. Most males are embarrassed to talk about their financial problems. And even if you know him well, have shown interest, and he responds to you, then trouble can cause a break in the relationship.
The opposite point. He invited you to an expensive restaurant, and financial troubles do not allow you to purchase the appropriate outfit. Yes, and you will feel uncomfortable in such a place. Talk to him and let him know that it is better to move the date.
A great place for a first meeting is a cinema. Especially if there are no common topics for conversation with a man yet, and you are just about to establish a closer relationship. Once you finish watching, there will be something to talk about. Discuss the film, the performance of the characters, share what films you like, what genre you prefer, etc. But before you go to the cinema, discuss together the picture you are going to see. Quite often, the plot and genre also influence further communication. A horror film, oddly enough, brings people closer together, but melodramas, on the contrary, can cause double feelings and cool the ardor. The thing is, horror stories evoke a corresponding reaction in girls and, of course, she tries to “cover herself up” with her boyfriend. Here is the first step towards closer contact.
How to end a first date?
There are many situations in which a first date may not end the way you would like, even if you and your boyfriend liked each other. Sometimes you feel insecure and the date doesn't end in the most positive way.
Check out some helpful tips for ending a first date on different occasions. The main thing is to always think one step ahead.
Option 1 - You liked him
If you both had a great time, you can safely end the first date with a kiss. But this is not the only thing that needs to be done. Here's what you need to do.
Let him know.
Don't pretend or play hard to get if you feel good with this person. Tell the guy you had fun and the date was great. If you see that he is in no hurry to make a second date, unobtrusively tell him about a theater, museum, club or other place that you would like to visit. This hint will definitely pass.
Make physical contact.
If during the date you never touched each other, then when saying goodbye you should definitely do this if you liked the date. A touch of hands will be enough. Try to get closer than you would with a man who won't get a second date.
Don't wait for him to write or call you.
If you want to see this young man again, do not be afraid to call or write to him. But know when to stop. One missed call or text message will be appropriate.
Option 2 – You are not sure about the second date.
It's harder to end a first date if you're not sure you want to see the person again. Here's what to do in such cases.
Be shy.
If a young man shows you in every way how much he likes you, it is best to act shy. Explain what you liked, but don't talk about a second meeting. If he asks to see you in the next few days, tell him that you have other plans for the near future and that you will answer him later. Smile that he understands that you are not just making up excuses.
End with a light kiss or hug.
Do not neglect a kiss even in a situation of uncertainty. If a young man wants to kiss you and you kiss him on the cheek, his reaction will help you understand a lot. The same thing happens with hugs.
Don't plan for the future.
Don't plan anything unless you know if you want to see him again. Be polite and say that you have a lot to do right now, and it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to see each other in the near future.
Option 3 – You didn’t like him.
Ending a date when you realize that you and the person will never see each other again can be very awkward. But act as you would like to be treated in a similar situation.
Be honest if you didn't like it.
Try to express your thoughts politely. The words “I had fun, but I don’t have feelings for you” will be better than brutal honesty.
Add a compliment after the refusal.
Even if you know you won't see this person again, give a sincere compliment. You will definitely find something you like about it. This will help soften the blow.
Don't talk about friendship.
There is no need to offer friendship to a person with whom you did not enjoy the date. He has not yet had time to recover from your refusal, and you decided to send him to the friend zone.
Author:
Irina Gnatkovskaya
Meeting - behavior
While you are going to meet him, a million thoughts flash through your head - how to say hello, how to look, what to say, what to order, etc. Stop, stop worrying. Let everything go by inertia. In this case, the main thing is to be yourself and not show off.
Be late, but not too late. For a maximum of 15-20 minutes. Modern men don’t really like to wait; they’ll sit for a while and leave. In case of unforeseen circumstances, call him back and warn him that you will come later.
Be yourself. Don't play, don't show off, your game will be exposed and he will decide that you are a banal liar. Consider the relationship over.
Pull yourself together and stop being shy. If he invited you, it means he likes you, and this is a reason to be more confident in yourself. Your task is to strengthen his feelings for you. And indecision, timidity and fear can play a cruel joke. After all, it is precisely because of their tightness that people get stuck in funny and ugly situations. There is no need to be afraid of failure on the first date; the second, third time will come and all the tension will dissipate.
Don't go to a meeting in a bad mood and looking sad. A date should only take place against the backdrop of a positive attitude and give joy. You will sit like Alyonushka, sadly bowing your head, looking into the future with apathy and hopelessness - the man will get up and leave. As a last resort, he will take you home and breathe a sigh of relief, realizing that he does not need such a Nesmeyana.
Keep yourself within limits and don't be too confident. No one has yet canceled the principle that men are more attracted to weak women who need their protection. Also, you shouldn’t pretend to be a completely defenseless sheep - there should be a “golden mean” in everything.
The first date is not for you to open up completely to your boyfriend. He should not know from the first minutes of communication why your parents divorced, or why your older brother decided to live separately. What is your grandmother's illness and how much does your dad earn? All this is personal information, and the relationship is just beginning. You are not yet close enough to be so frank.
Match the moment. Your man jokes all evening and creates a relaxed, easy atmosphere - laugh and be happy. Of course, there is no need to laugh loudly or squeal. And even if his joke is not entirely successful, smile. All these are manifestations of his excitement.
Talk about everything except personal things. Be interested in what he is interested in, and answer him - what hobby has fascinated you lately. Tell us how you spent your last vacation, what your impressions of your trip abroad were. What delicious dishes were served in this or that city, what do you think about exotic fruits, etc.
We all know that women love with their ears, and men are great at showing off. To make a positive impression on you, he will begin to tell you how he climbed to the top of Elbrus, caught a half-ton fish, independently disassembled and assembled a car down to the screws, etc. Such stories are intended only for first dates - appreciate and praise the big child, thereby indicating your favor. Just know when to stop and don’t go overboard when you praise his appearance, talents and habits.
Don't laugh for no reason. It is best to respond to his jokes and jokes with a smile, and if necessary, take on a serious face. It's stupid to keep smiling if he's telling a sad story.
Gestures. This is where an anecdote suggests itself: “Abram was given a new phone in a retro style.” You need to hold the earphone with one hand and the microphone with the other. And then he becomes indignant - “But what am I going to say, my hands are full!” So, stop gesticulating like a Caucasian seller at the market. No matter how emotional your story is, keep your hands to yourself, at most “flying” a little. Why can't it? Excessive gesticulation, as a rule, is characteristic of persons with an unbalanced psyche. Hands are a tool and at the subconscious level, each of us tries to deviate when someone raises them up or to the sides.
Don't bother asking about his income. Perhaps you do not have mercantile thoughts, but simply bad upbringing. But the man will immediately understand as needed - she is not interested in me, but in my wallet.
There is no need to share about your past relationships. Yes, you want to indicate that you are tempted by many novels, but for a man this is a sign of easy access, promiscuity. And instead of positive advertising, you will achieve either harassment or a man’s refusal to continue communicating with you. Who wants to be one of the “out”?
You don't need to tell your boyfriend all your shortcomings, don't share it. If destined to happen, he will learn about them in practice. You may object: “He’s hardly ideal either.” Yes, but few people admit their shortcomings. And your frank story may create the impression that you have too many of these flaws.
No matter what level the feminist movement reaches, still remain a modest woman. Do not invite a man on a date; let the initiative come only from him. He said nothing after the first date, didn’t promise anything, doesn’t call for a couple of days - no problem, be patient. He is also a person and should think about whether it is worth continuing communication with you. And if he doesn’t call, it doesn’t matter, meet someone else.
To kiss or not. Here the opinions of psychologists differ. Some argue that a girl should not show her interest in continuing the acquaintance after the first date. So she intrigues him, attracts him, forces him to besiege the “impregnable fortress.” Others are sure that a kiss with someone with whom you wanted to bring your relationship closer is consent. In any case, it’s up to you to decide whether to kiss or not. The main thing is not to do this with a person with whom there is no desire to continue communication.
Intimacy on the first date. Yes, modern morals fully allow intimacy after the first meeting. And most often the offer comes from a man. Here you need to think a hundred times before agreeing. No matter how much you like it, think about what conclusions will be drawn. Perhaps this is a test. After spending an amazing night with you, he may decide that this is how you spend time with all the guys you don't know well. Helpful advice - refuse his offer and don't be afraid that he will be put off by your decision. If so, this is not your hero. Normal - on the contrary, will be happy and will continue to besiege your inaccessibility.
How do visits work in a pre-trial detention center?
Be prepared that the appointment may be scheduled for the next day after you submit your application. Therefore, if the pre-trial detention center is located in one city, and you live in another, then it is better, just in case, to find a hotel where you can spend the night for a day or two.
It is better to go there together: when one is filing an application, the other can begin the transfer process.
You can learn how to complete the transfer from this article.
Please note that even if you have already been admitted to the meeting, you may have to wait another 3-4 hours before the date itself.
After passing through the gates of this institution, you will be taken to a special room where meetings are held. Usually it is divided by a glass and very durable partition into two separate spaces - one for the prisoner, and the second for visitors.
Getting into a pre-trial detention center for a visit is difficult, and many conditions must be met.
An intercom is installed for communication. It doesn't always work well, so you may hear crackling and various noises during communication.
Conversations between the accused and his relatives are monitored by prison staff. During them, an employee of the detention center will be in the room, who is obliged to check that the prisoner is not given anything prohibited for such a procedure.
Before entering the visiting area, your belongings and jacket will be searched for prohibited objects. You should not be nervous about this, but calmly undergo this procedure. In this case, cigarettes are usually broken to make sure that there is nothing else inside but tobacco, which is why it is better to buy them after checking, in a kiosk in a pre-trial detention center. By the way, you can also buy some products there if you didn’t buy them in advance.
The conditions of detention in the pre-trial detention center are described here.
If you came to the meeting with the accused along with the transfer, then it will also be checked. Therefore, it is better to prepare in advance so as not to have problems later. For example, it is better to pour all bulk substances into transparent bags in advance, since if they are in boxes, they will be opened. The same applies to liquid substances.
If you are found to have any of the prohibited items, the question may arise about the objectivity of granting you a meeting with the prisoner. These include: alcoholic beverages, any means of communication (phone, SIM cards), drugs, pornography, etc.
During a date, it is better to talk about family matters, etc.
Also, the meeting will be immediately terminated if the visitor tries to convey to the citizen under investigation any data regarding the criminal case , which may interfere with establishing the truth about it or contribute to the commission of a crime.
Another reason for the immediate end of a visit is damage to the property of the institution itself.
All of the above rules apply partially during long visits in a penal colony, but do not apply to a meeting with a defendant in a pre-trial detention center with his lawyer. In this case, the meeting takes place in a room without partitions and without the presence of institution employees.
And what after
Well, your first meeting is coming to an end. As we have already decided, there will be no intimacy, but we need to somehow end the communication beautifully so that the desire to meet again arises. Take a walk through the beautiful park and visit the city fountains. It is important that he guides you through, otherwise there will be no continuations. Before entering your entrance, thank the man for a beautiful and pleasant evening. There's a whole night and day ahead. Both participants in a romantic relationship should carefully think about whether it is worth continuing, whether it makes sense to connect their destiny with this person. If you are not sure about it, do not give false hopes. The next morning everything looks different - you come to your senses, your thoughts “sober up”. And most importantly, you must remain yourself and not question the signals of your soul.
first date with a man at his home
— Hello, is this the lost and found office? - asked a child's voice. - Yes baby. Have you lost something? - I lost my mother. Isn't it with you? - What kind of mother is she? - She is beautiful and kind. And she also loves cats very much. - Yes, just yesterday we found one mother, maybe it’s yours. Where are you calling from? — From orphanage No. 3. - Okay, we will send your mother to your orphanage. Wait. She entered his room, the most beautiful and kindest, and in her hands was a real live cat. - Mother! - the baby shouted and rushed to her. He hugged her with such force that his fingers turned white. - My mommy!!! ….Artem woke up from his own scream. He had dreams like this almost every night. He put his hand under the pillow and pulled out a photograph of a girl. He found this photograph a year ago on the street while walking. Now he always kept it under his pillow and believed that it was his mother. In the darkness, Artyom peered into her beautiful face for a long time and, unnoticed by himself, fell asleep... In the morning, the head of the orphanage, Angelina Ivanovna, as usual, went around the rooms with the pupils to wish everyone a good morning and pat each baby on the head. On the floor near Artemka’s crib, she saw a photograph that fell out of his hands at night. Picking it up, Angelina Ivanovna asked the boy: “Artemushka, where did you get this photograph?” - Found it on the street. - And who is it? “My mother,” the baby smiled and added, “she is very beautiful, kind and loves cats.” The manager immediately recognized this girl. The first time she came to the orphanage was last year with a group of volunteers. It was probably then that I lost my photograph here. Since then, this girl has often visited various institutions in the hope of obtaining permission to adopt a child. But, according to local bureaucrats, she had one significant drawback: she was unmarried. “Well,” said Angelina Ivanovna, “since she is your mother, then this completely changes things.” Entering her office, she sat down at the table and began to wait. Half an hour later there was a timid knock on the door: “Can I come to you, Angelina Ivanovna?” — And the same girl from the photograph appeared at the door. - Yes, come in, Alina. The girl entered the office and placed a thick folder with documents in front of the manager. “Here,” she said, “I collected everything.” - Okay, Alina. I have to ask a few more questions, that’s how it’s supposed to be, you know... Do you realize what responsibility you’re taking on? After all, a child is not about playing for two hours, it is about life. “I understand everything,” Alina exhaled, “I just can’t live in peace, knowing that someone really needs me.” “Okay,” the manager agreed, “when do you want to see the children?” “I won’t look at them, I’ll take any child you offer,” Alina said, looking the manager straight in the eyes. Angelina Ivanovna raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You see,” Alina began to explain confusingly, “real parents don’t choose their child... they don’t know in advance how he will be born....” beautiful or ugly, healthy or sick... They love him as he is. I also want to be a real mother. “This is the first time I’ve met such an adoptive parent,” Angelina Ivanovna smiled, “however, I already know whose mother you will become.” His name is Artem, he is 5 years old, his own mother abandoned him in the maternity hospital. I'll bring it now if you're ready. “Yes, I’m ready,” Alina said in a firm voice, “show me my son.” The manager left and returned 5 minutes later, leading the little boy by the hand. “Artemochka,” Angelina Ivanovna began, “meet this... - Mom!” - Artem shouted. He rushed to Alina and grabbed her so that his fingers turned white. - My mommy! Alina stroked his tiny back and whispered: “Son, son... I’m with you...” She looked up at the manager and asked: “When can I pick up my son?” “Usually, parents and children gradually get used to each other, first they communicate here, then they take them away for the weekend, and then for good, if everything is in order. “I’ll take Artyom right away,” Alina said firmly. “Okay,” the manager waved her hand, “tomorrow is still a weekend, you can take it, and come on Monday and we’ll fill out all the documents as expected.” Artem was simply happy. He held his mother's hand and was afraid to let her go even for a second. Teachers and nannies were fussing around... some were collecting his things, others simply stood aside and wiped their eyes with handkerchiefs. - Artemushka, goodbye. Come visit us,” Angelina Ivanovna said goodbye to him. “Goodbye, I’ll come,” Artyom answered. When they said goodbye to everyone and went outside, he finally decided to ask his new mother the most important question: - Mom... do you like cats? “I love it, I have two of them at home,” Alina laughed, gently squeezing her tiny palm in her hand. Artem smiled happily and walked towards his home.
Angelina Ivanovna looked out the window after Alina and Artemka were leaving. Then she sat down at her desk and started calling somewhere. — Hello, Heavenly Office? Please accept your application. Client name: Alina Smirnova. Category of merit: the highest, gave happiness to the child... send everything that is required in such cases: boundless happiness, mutual love, good luck in everything, etc.... Well, of course, the ideal man, she is not married... Yes, I understand that there are few of them left, a shortage, but this is an exceptional case. Yes, and don’t forget the endless cash flow, it will be very useful to her... the baby should eat well... Have you sent everything yet? Thank you. The courtyard of the orphanage was filled with soft sunlight and joyful children's cries. The manager hung up and went to the window. She loved to stand for a long time and look at her babies, spreading her huge snow-white wings behind her...
