Women mistakenly think that a loving man can forgive almost everything. But this is a big mistake and this is not the case at all. The patience of the stronger sex is far from endless and has its limits. A man, relatively speaking, writes down, as it were, all the misdeeds of his chosen one in his invisible book, and when the space in the “book” is already filled, he takes it and leaves, seemingly for no reason at all. The Guru's horoscope will help you figure out what men don't forgive, and will also tell you what you shouldn't talk about with your partner, and it's better to trust your friend.
Betrayal
Betrayal is not necessarily treason. If a woman allowed herself to voice in the presence of others something that no one should have known, then the man perceives this as a betrayal and, most likely, wants to break off the relationship.
We also advise you to read about how to properly praise a man in order to make your relationship with him even more harmonious.
Tags: criticism, men, grievances, manipulation, jealousy, non-forgiveness
What men don't forgive
Let's agree right away.
Mostly. Usually. As usual. This is how it most often happens. But not 100 percent of the time. After all, there are exceptions to any rule. We consider the most common average situations. So…
Treason
Mainly physical. If the partner is still dreaming about someone else, starting a correspondence with someone, then this does not seem to count; she can still be “returned to the right path.” But if there was close contact with another... Most men would prefer not to forgive, but to part. Those who “swallow” this will never be the same again. They will always return to the previous episode.
A woman is psychologically more flexible in this regard.
Invasion of personal space
If you are a fan of rummaging through your spouse’s phone, computer and pockets, do it at least secretly. If you get caught, there is a high chance that you will not be forgiven for it. It is not necessary that a man will immediately leave when he finds out that you have gotten into his smartphone, but his trust in you will be irrevocably lost.
Of course, it is also difficult for a woman to come to terms with such behavior towards her (that her husband is watching her and checking in every possible way), but many representatives of the fairer sex can (especially at the beginning of a relationship) accept this as a kind of manifestation of attention to her and care. Wrong, of course, but the fact remains a fact.
Criticism and ridicule in sex, especially penis size
This can give rise to a bunch of complexes in a man. Until his old age, he will not forget the one who, out of youth and stupidity, once accidentally said: “You don’t know how to do anything.” Or even tenderly consoled: “Size doesn’t matter.”
Success
If a wife earns more than her husband, such a family has little chance of staying strong. If you turn from a housewife into a successful businesswoman, but your spouse remains at the level of a factory worker... that’s not good either. A man himself may not be against his business wife, and at times he is even proud of her, but the stereotypes of our society are such that it is the representative of the stronger sex, willy-nilly, who will have to strain himself: will his beloved leave him, as a symbol of the old life, will she find herself anyone better?
You need a lot of love, fortitude, and patience on both sides in order to survive and “forgive” (conditionally, of course, because the woman in this case is not to blame) for the success of the other half.
Success often comes with struggle
Do not care
Selfishness and indifference
on the part of a man are detrimental to relationships.
Men who do not participate in the life of the family, but continue to live for themselves as if nothing had happened, sooner or later evoke similar feelings in their women. Forgiving a man
because he doesn’t care about you – is that even possible? If you're dating a person who is only interested in his own desires, you might want to consider whether it's time to say goodbye to him forever.
In addition, there are critical situations when support and active help are needed from a man. Here is what Ekaterina, 26 years old, writes: “There are situations when a child becomes seriously ill, the mother is in a panic, and the father is sitting at the computer or simply cannot take control of everything. Or when you need to intercede before a crowd of outrageous relatives in matters that do not concern them. Accidental physical betrayal for me is nothing compared to weakness and spinelessness.”
Treason
It would seem that, while holding the palm in terms of infidelity, men should not be so principled in this matter. However, you should not hope for forgiveness or leniency. Cheating on a woman in a man’s perception is a blow to pride, betrayal, loss of trust, disappointment. After so much loss, it is rare what feelings and relationships survive.
Even if a woman manages to achieve forgiveness by presenting the betrayal as an accidental mistake, a momentary weakness, the man will still not be able to perceive her as before. The destructive mark of adultery will inevitably remain on both partners.
Beats means loves
The next unforgivable quality for a man is assault and violence.
. Not only in relation to herself, but first of all – to the children. Like a true lioness, every mother is ready to kill any male if her child is threatened. By the way, this is also punishable by law, so in any case a man cannot get away with these actions. At the same time, some women claim that they will not be angry with their chosen one if he hits her “for the cause.” For example, a slap in the face because she herself behaved badly, betrayed or cheated is an equivalent action, according to them.
Steps
- Think about how bad things are.
Was it a harmless joke or something that embarrassed you in front of the world?
How many people know about this?
Did he cheat on you?
If yes, think carefully, ask yourself, will he ever do it again? Most men would cheat with a hot babe, and if so, he's not worth it, he doesn't care about your feelings and emotions.
Have you experienced the pain of loss together?
For example, who is each of you missing in your life?
Likewise, have you two experienced joy together?
When you were both feeling down at the same time, did you make each other feel confident?
Does he continue to ask for forgiveness?
Probably yes. If he doesn't do this, it means he doesn't really care whether he has you or not. He just needs you as an addition to his life.
Think:
“Has he treated me well all this time? Did I like him at the moment when I thought He was a real friend? Does he ever say nice things to me to make me happy when I'm down? Did he say I was beautiful and not ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’?”
Does he say goodnight or say something nice to me when we break up?
If it's something small, just forgive him, life is too short to dwell on the little things in life.
It's just a trifle. An apology is not necessary, but it will not be superfluous.
Consider whether he has done anything similar in the past.
If not, he most likely won't do it again and will truly regret it.
Remember:
you shouldn't ignore him or accept his apology if he's been treating you well all along. Every person makes mistakes and needs to be forgiven if they don't do it all the time.
Tell him you forgive him if you feel he is truly sorry and won't do it again.
Otherwise, just wait until the time comes.
Remember:
if this is the first time this has happened and it's something small, forgive him, he might not know what will hurt you and what won't.
Give yourself time to think things through, but if the conflict situation is such that you feel you can't move on, then in the long run it may be better for both of you if the relationship ends.
Is it possible to forgive a loved one if he is the culprit of heartache and long sleepless nights? Should I try to restore the relationship, or is it better to start from scratch?
Superiority
Despite modern gender equality and women's emancipation, our faithful often want to feel like breadwinners and heads of families. If a woman surpasses him in at least something, especially in the size of her salary, then the man’s self-esteem can suffer greatly. But this is not a reason to immediately change your job to a lower-paying one: an intelligent woman, with the help of special techniques, will still make it clear to a man that he is in charge, even if in reality this is not entirely true.
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Assault
Under no circumstances should you forgive him, because it is a threat to the beauty, health and even life of a woman. From a man who is worth running away from, because the situation will definitely repeat itself over time. According to Kuznetsova, the stronger sex is divided into two categories: those who would never hit a woman under any circumstances, and those who do not consider a fight with a young lady to be something out of the ordinary. It all depends on the conditions and in what family the man was raised. If he saw how, then, most likely, he will transfer this experience into his life.
“If such a situation is unacceptable for a woman, it is worth remembering that it will happen again. And if there is a threat to you and your children, you need to save yourself,” states the psychologist. At the same time, Kuznetsova notes that some women do not see a problem in the fact that their husband sometimes fights. They sincerely believe that “hitting means loving.” Typically, ladies with such a position in life also grew up in a family where parental “fist fights” were the norm.
Live without forgiving
For many women, not forgiving a man means breaking up. Once and for all. But divorce is a last resort. According to psychologists, many women continue to live with men who have repeatedly committed crimes and even real tyrants, taking the position of a victim. At the same time, deep down they could not forgive their men. What makes women continue relationships with those who have violated their trust and simply disappointed them? The answer is simple: having children, fear of being lonely, financial dependence and, of course, love. But even all-consuming love comes to an end one day.
Yes, patience is the main thing in all relationships; without it, love and respect cannot be preserved. But what can’t a man be forgiven so as not to lose himself?
At what point should you worry whether everything is excellent in your relationship with the man you love?
If he often neglects you, without calling you back, without answering your SMS and calls, then you should think about it. If you are not so important to him, if a man is not worried about the fact that you can simply worry about whether everything is okay with him, if he does not consider it necessary to keep in mind your birthday and the fact that you are allergic to strawberries , and if your feelings do not touch him, then such an attitude cannot be forgiven. A momentary passion will not replace everyday simple respect for you.
Video: Cheating in a relationship between a man and a woman: a psychologist’s view
In the event that you accidentally find out about a deception, even an innocent one, think about why it happened. What can you say if a man often lies to you? When there is no trust between partners, then love fades away extremely quickly, scandals and complaints break out more and more often. Think about the extent to which you are willing to accept deception.
Narcissism and selfishness
A normal woman, who was loved and pampered as a child, is unlikely to pay attention to. Usually, ladies who are accustomed to being on the sidelines from a very early age are “tailored” to this type. People don’t become narcissists or egoists overnight, and it turns out that a woman who decided to have a relationship with such a man made a conscious choice. And he will live with such a partner.
If, even at the dating stage, a girl suddenly realizes that she has got an egoist or a narcissist, and this does not suit her, then she must break up with the man. It will not change in the future; on the contrary, the situation will only get worse. Your partner will do everything first and foremost for himself, as well. If you're not used to this, run.
How to find the strength to forgive?
To restore the relationship, forgive your loved one’s mistake and remove the burden from your soul, you should try to do this:
- take his photo and remember which features of his face you have always been in love with. Maybe it’s kind eyes, a courageous chin, an intelligent forehead. Remember how you hugged and kissed your loved one.
- Think about what exactly attracted you to this person, that you started a relationship with him?
- Have you ever dreamed of living with this person all your life and growing old together? Think why?
- imagine how beautiful and smart your children will be, and how they will love their father...
- remember all the most pleasant moments in your communication.
And don't waste your time
– life is too short to waste even a minute on mental pain. Make peace with your loved one, remember how calm you feel in his arms.
The first thing that comes to the mind of every normal woman when she is asked the question: “What is unforgivable for a man?” - this is treason.
There is a banal statement: if a man cheated once, he will cheat constantly, which means he cannot be forgiven. Is it so? Not all women agree with this. Many people divide betrayal into physical and mental. Many women are ready to forgive a casual relationship after a corporate party “on a drunken bench”, after this it is still possible. But no one is ready to put up with the fact that their chosen one will suddenly fall in love with another and will devote all his thoughts and time to her.
Is it easy to forgive a woman's infidelity?
Moreover, he begins to be jealous, even if this someone simply shows attention, courtesy, gallantry towards a lady who, simply by virtue of her feminine nature, cannot help but accept these signs of attention. What can we say about physical betrayal, which a man experiences even more than mental betrayal.
If his woman simply likes someone, the man will endure it, but if physiological contact occurs, this is a tragedy. Moreover, even the most courageous representatives of the stronger half of humanity cannot forgive a woman even for violent intimacy with someone else. They understand intellectually that she is not to blame. And the thoughts that maybe she herself provoked, behaved in an inappropriate way, haunt her and prevent her from showing concern for her loved one.
