Career or family? The eternal dilemma of modern women

Careers of a man and a woman - how did they develop?

Historically, the man was considered the breadwinner in the family - it was on his shoulders that the financial support of his wife and children fell. But just over a century ago, beautiful ladies gained the right to choose a profession to their liking, and the usual picture of the world changed greatly. Professional careers began to attract women, many of whom even abandoned building normal family relationships in favor of work.

It would seem that the opportunity to work only benefited women, because they were able to realize their talents and skills. But many girls did not take into account that while conquering career heights, they would have to compete on equal terms with men. To build a truly successful career, a woman needed to develop masculine qualities of character and completely kill the feminine in herself.

Career or family? The eternal dilemma of modern women

Find harmony in family relationships or become a successful career woman? Never has this question confronted women as much as it does now. At first glance, it seems that the choice is not difficult, because a woman is a mother, a keeper of the hearth, who should be realized in this very form. But it's not that simple.

Once upon a time, during the times of balls and duels, such a concept as a woman’s career was absent from everyday life. Why did she need to work and get settled in life, because everything was predetermined? If you watch some old films, you can draw the appropriate conclusions - the family occupied the first and only place in the life of a representative of the fairer sex. But over the years, a woman’s social security has become a very fragile concept and has led to the need to earn money on her own. But the dilemma remains, because the family is still the “island” that can save you from loneliness and melancholy.

Woman and career

Self-realization and stable financial income are very tempting. But what will a modern careerist have to sacrifice in order to achieve her goals? It's worth sorting it out in order.

If a woman's career comes first for her, in most cases it is possible to move up the career ladder. The young lady puts off marriage and the birth of a child indefinitely and immerses herself in work - she takes overtime, goes on business trips, devotes all her free time to her favorite job. Most likely, such a workaholic will definitely be noticed. Well, which boss doesn’t like good employees?

Gradually, an established business woman begins to subconsciously fear marriage and motherhood, because she has never learned how to build relationships with the opposite sex. After 35 years, not many people decide to have a child, or start a family.

Watch some modern films in which desperate career women suddenly begin to think about personal happiness after forty years. As a result, disharmony occurs - the woman feels that her main purpose has remained unfulfilled.

Does all of the above mean that a woman’s career brings her only disappointment? Not at all, because all people are very different from each other in character and internal motivations. Someone will begin to yearn for what has not come true, while others will find a lot of advantages in their current position as a successful business woman. The realization of dreams and the opportunity to earn decent money, to be independent, confidence in the future and self-realization are very significant advantages that career women receive.

WHAT SOFTWARE

What does society say about women's careers?

If we turn to Orthodoxy and other religions, women and careers in them are not entirely compatible. It is believed that girls' destiny is to raise children and do household chores. According to believers, this division of roles (work for the husband, home for the wife) helps strengthen relationships within the family.

But psychology specialists have a different view of women and work. Psychologists believe that girls should do what they are passionate about, without blaming themselves for the choice they made.

How to combine career and family

How to achieve success in your career

What qualities will allow you to succeed and beat your competitors? Many of us dream of an exciting career. The imagination pictures a separate office overlooking a cloudless sky, a company car, perhaps without flashing lights, but with a personal driver, a helpful secretary and “thirty-five thousand couriers alone.”

Anna Vovk

And yet, when building a career, representatives of the fair sex should not allow work to crowd out family, friends, recreation and many other things that give life fullness and brightness. Therefore, in order to rightfully say “Yes, life is good!”, you need to set your priorities correctly.

Nowadays, many maximalist girls believe that first they need to make a career, and then start a family. After which they concentrate on work, ignoring personal life as something unimportant. However, having achieved a high position and made a career, they discover that they do not know how to build close relationships. The time to master communication skills has been lost. This increases the risk of being left alone. You should not sacrifice your personal life for your career.

Method 1. Don't tear

Often, women, having started a family, are afraid of losing control over the situation, try to be on time everywhere - and thereby take on an unbearable burden. When combining work, raising children and running a household undermines your strength, you should unload and redistribute responsibilities among other family members. Otherwise, such a load can affect your health. But how to do that?

First of all, responsibilities and burdens should be distributed among family members. Mostly, of course, with my husband. It’s good if you can immediately agree with him on such a “distribution.” Skillful distribution of responsibilities will significantly save your energy.

Method 2. Solve everyday problems in advance

But it happens that it is impossible to reach an agreement. Then the best thing to do is... draw up a marriage contract. You shouldn't be prejudiced about this. A marriage contract resolves not only property issues, but also determines the spouses’ responsibilities for housekeeping and raising children. Working together to draw up this agreement will help the couple agree on obligations, prepare to solve everyday problems, and at the same time save the family from many conflicts in advance. Unfortunately, in Russia the marriage contract is just coming into use.

But if it comes to conflict (and, alas, such in family life cannot be avoided), then it is better to try to solve the problem at the negotiating table, and not lead to large-scale military action. If an urgent problem is not resolved in time, it will acquire a snowball effect, grow to enormous proportions and control the relationship of the spouses until a breakup. Therefore, it is better to avoid open confrontation during disagreements, try to take into account the opinion of the other side and be ready to compromise. But it must be mutual!

Method 3. Don't confuse the roles

Concessions should only be bilateral: in some ways one side sacrifices its interests, in others – the other. Gratuitous concessions relax and do not oblige you to anything later.

There is another big mistake that many women, and even men, do not take into account - bringing business conflicts and problems home, and family ones to work. You definitely need to be able to switch. You cannot turn your own home into a branch office. But you shouldn’t think about family problems at work either. In addition, the ability to switch makes it possible to take a break from work problems at home, and have time to get homesick during working hours. Therefore, if you follow these tips, you can easily combine family life and career! Good luck!

Advantages and Disadvantages of Choosing a Career over a Family

As for me, I sincerely believe that a career plays a very important role in a woman’s life. But don’t forget, girls, that peace and comfort in your family nest depends on you. Here are the pros and cons of a woman choosing a career and pushing her family and home into the background. After reading them, you can decide which path to choose.

Advantages:

the opportunity to make your dreams come true;
additional income;
new useful connections that may be useful in the future;
broadening one's horizons;
opportunity to develop leadership skills;
reducing the risk of burnout.

Negative points:

obsession with achieving success;
Nervousness due to failures, problems with colleagues or superiors.

Relationships – money and love

It’s one thing when you make the choice “to get promoted or not” for yourself. It’s completely different when romantic relationships get involved and you get a love triangle: you + other half + work.

Needless to say, the relationship between a careerist and a “free traveler” is, if not doomed to failure, then certainly to certain difficulties.

At first, one partner may admire the other's ambition and determination. A careerist can be grateful to his other half for the ability to cheer up, distract from worries and get him out to unwind. But then (especially during periods of crisis for all couples, which begin immediately as the candy-bouquet period comes to an end) serious disagreements will begin and both people will notice that their worldviews and attitudes to life are very different.

What can we say about mere mortals, even if world celebrities chose family instead of career! Some abandoned their emerging popularity, some, having enjoyed success, decided to retire, while others decided to take everything from life - they plunged headlong into their family, but occasionally still spoiling the public with their appearance. If you decide to prefer a family, know that your regiment also includes Grace Kelly, Carla Bruni, Twiggy, Katie Holmes and others.

When is it justified to sacrifice your career?

Work is not enjoyable and the only thing holding you back is the fear of not finding a new job.
Promotion is impossible in principle
You realized that you are not interested in a promotion
Work takes more than it gives
The relationship is strong and trusting, the partner is ready to support you both morally and financially
You are more afraid of losing this person than your job.

When should you choose a career?

Quarrels with your other half happen all the time, not only because of your busyness
Your partner is ready to accept your sacrifice, but he himself does not intend to sacrifice anything.
You love your job and can’t imagine life without it
Life has given you a unique chance to build your dream career, and you definitely won’t be so lucky again
You feel more relaxed at work, even with a busy schedule, than with your partner

Why is it important to learn to combine career and relationships?

Equality in a couple is a sign of a healthy relationship. More and more people are reconsidering traditional gender roles: women want to not only do household chores, but also build a career, and men want to participate more in family life.

Working spouses have greater respect for each other's work. And those who divide household responsibilities roughly in half are 48% less likely to get divorced than average.

Jennifer Petriglieri found that couples in which both partners are pursuing careers experience three milestones from the beginning of the relationship to retirement.

Harmony of family and career

“I am a careerist and at the same time a loving wife and mother. It’s quite possible to combine a career and family life,” notes Marina, financial director of a large Moscow design institute. After graduating from university, she joined the company as an ordinary accountant, then became deputy chief accountant. Several years ago I headed the accounting department, and recently I was offered the position of financial director.

Marina’s recipe for success is simple: “Family and career complement each other perfectly. At work, I have enough opportunities to show my authority and feel like a “big boss.” That’s why I’m gentle and caring at home.”

“Marina’s happiness is that she got married during her student years. If she decided to start a family, having reached professional heights and financial well-being, finding a suitable companion would not be easy, says psychologist, owner of the marriage agency Yanina Brzheskaya . – Business women strive to find a person comparable in intellectual level and financial status. An accomplished businessman would be an ideal partner. But such men, as a rule, are afraid of business women.”