Elizabeth Purslow's report to the UK Law Commission during a meeting on 13 February 2020 regarding the commission's proposals to legalize commercial surrogacy in the UK.
I was a practicing midwife for almost 20 years and also had a postgraduate certificate in obstetric ultrasound. I currently work in the National Health Service as a nurse in a non-obstetrics medical field. However, once a midwife, always a midwife, I have retained the same interest in maternal and child health and the maternity system in general.
The Law Commission member leading the project to review surrogacy laws in the UK, Professor Hopkins, said on the recent Victoria Derbyshire TV show that the main objectives of the legislative proposals are to ensure the “safety” of all parties to the surrogacy agreement, a point echoed in the advisory opinion . However, I want to demonstrate that these statements are at odds with reality. I will talk about the medical risks of surrogacy pregnancy and childbirth, and will also touch on the issue of egg donation and how conflicts of interest in surrogacy relate to safety.
Surrogate pregnancy is a high-risk pregnancy
Surrogate pregnancies are always high-risk pregnancies. This is due to several reasons. This is mainly due to the use of “donor” eggs, which increases the risk of obstetric complications, including hypertension during pregnancy, low birth weight, gestational diabetes, intrauterine fetal death, preterm birth and the need for cesarean section. It has been suggested that these additional risks may be due to immunological incompatibility between mother and fetus (which is not genetically related to her).
One US study found that on average, surrogate pregnancies (with one or two fetuses) cost 26 times more than non-surrogate pregnancies - due to higher rates of caesarean sections, longer hospital stays and more frequent neonatal intensive care unit admissions.
The UK already has a severe shortage of beds in neonatal intensive care units, which sometimes means that newborn babies have to be transported long distances. For example, in one case a child was transferred from South West England to Edinburgh because there was only ward space available there.
Another risk factor for surrogacy pregnancies is the large number of multiple pregnancies. According to a report from the Human Fertility and Embryology Authority, multiple pregnancies on average double the risk of maternal mortality, preeclampsia, obstetric hemorrhage, gestational diabetes, preterm birth, low birth weight and cerebral palsy. For this reason, the Authority launched the “Only One at a Time” campaign, which was able to successfully reduce the rate of multiple pregnancies resulting from IVF in the ten years to 2017.
Despite these significant and known risks, twins in surrogacy are inexplicably presented as some kind of optional extra - the same goes for the Law Commission's proposals. For example, paragraph 3.65 of the advisory opinion states that:
“The surrogacy agreement may provide additional fixed payments to the surrogate for multiple pregnancies, caesarean sections, and for cases where the surrogate will have to undergo additional medical procedures, such as a hysterectomy.”
Such references in passing demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of the serious risks and injuries to which women will be exposed.
In my 20 years as a midwife, I have had several cases of women experiencing life-threatening bleeding after childbirth. This is terrible - a woman is rapidly losing an incredible amount of blood, death can occur very quickly. I witnessed one woman die from bleeding. It was the most terrible incident in my entire career. Even if a woman survives, she may be left with serious long-term complications, including Sheehan syndrome.
During serious obstetric hemorrhage, labor room resources must be focused on trying to save the woman's life. Currently, there are problems of underfunding and insufficient resources for the maternity care system in the UK National Health System. For example, in some cases, one midwife is forced to provide care to several women giving birth at once.
In some cases, the only way to save a woman's life is an emergency hysterectomy. Obstetricians are no longer required to be qualified to perform this operation, so it may be necessary to call a general or gynecological surgeon, which may interfere with another planned operation.
In addition to the devastating consequences for individual women and their families, any increase in surrogacy will have significant and predictable financial consequences for public health care, and it will divert already scarce resources from other birthing women and even surgical patients in general.
Other risk factors include maternal age and parity (number of births a woman has). For example, the statistical risk of maternal death is twice as high after age 35 and three times as high after age 40. Likewise, risks increase as parity increases.
Members of the Law Commission do not appear to understand these big risks and their consequences, let alone propose adequate steps to protect against them - despite the fact that they claim their goal is to make surrogacy safer.
The proposed “consequences counseling” will have little or no impact on the significant risks that women will be exposed to during a surrogate pregnancy. Evidence from numerous published cases shows that counseling rarely provides women with realistic protection.
Some factors that contribute to the additional risks of surrogacy can be reduced or prevented by legislative measures, for example, by prohibiting the transplantation of more than one embryo, introducing restrictions on the age of surrogate mothers and setting a limit on the number of surrogate pregnancies.
The adoption of such legislative standards will highlight the risks involved and may encourage contracting parents and surrogates to exercise greater caution. This will make it more difficult for agencies and client parents to find and exploit vulnerable women. Also, such legislation could stop the exploitation of psychologically vulnerable women who develop something like a surrogacy addiction and agree to multiple surrogacy pregnancies - an exploitation that could be stopped by prohibiting more than one surrogacy pregnancy for one woman.
Whose child is surrogacy?
Many infertile couples ask a similar question - “Whose child is it, our own, and 100% natural, or is there still some connection with the surrogate mother?”
Disputes on the topic: “Surrogacy, whose child ends up being? ,” also arise among groups of scientists from various research institutes. Thus, at one time, it was believed that there was and could not be any genetic connection between the fetus and the surrogate mother, since all the DNA deposited during the fertilization of the egg is transmitted exclusively from the genetic parents. A surrogate mother is just a woman who agrees to pregnancy, whose baby belongs to the genetic parents.
But after some time, one scientist made a colossal statement that, based on the results of the research, it was established that it was possible to transfer the genetic material of a surrogate mother to a future child. So, after pregnancy, identical character traits or appearance can be passed on to a newborn baby, in cases where the surrogate mother’s genes were much stronger than those of an ordinary person during the period of intrauterine development of the fetus. And after such conclusions, problems arose among specialists in the field of surrogacy, who largely affected the moral and ethical aspects of this issue. Each infertile couple began to file complaints and make their suspicions public, which were categorically denied by medical professionals. The question of the use of surrogacy has again become an issue, are all the pros and cons of surrogacy taken into account? Some couples were simply afraid to resort to ART (assisted reproductive technology), fearing any consequences associated with heredity transmitted from the surrogate mother.
Conflicts of interest in surrogacy
Under the proposed “new path,” ordering parents would be considered legal parents immediately after the child’s birth. This will inevitably lead to the fact that the ordering parents will consider themselves intrauterine owners - this will lead to huge conflicts of interest, which, among other things, will complicate the work of midwives and other medical personnel.
The Law Commission did not seem to consider these consequences at all. At the moment, the hospital rules are very clear - the patient is the woman in labor, and the medical staff is responsible to her, all rights belong to her. Any changes to this fundamental principle could lead to grave violations of human rights.
But if these proposals are accepted, the situation will become ambiguous. The consultation document suggests that ordering parents should have the right to be present at ultrasound scans and consultations with doctors during pregnancy and childbirth, and mentions that ordering parents have complained about hospitals prohibiting their presence. But in reality, everything is not as simple as this document suggests. The very existence of these complaints suggests that the ordering parents are prone to unreasonable demands and may treat a pregnant woman as their property - even if this is contrary to current legislation and hospital rules.
In my personal opinion, parent clients should never be present during ultrasound scans because it is a real conflict of interest.
Suppose the scan shows that the child has a condition that is not life-threatening or can be corrected surgically, such as a cleft lip or cleft palate, and the requesting parents insist on an abortion.
If the ordering parents are nearby when this information is conveyed to the birth mother, it will be very difficult for her to make an impartial decision about further actions. This would be a violation of her right to independent decision-making and would potentially put hospital staff in an extremely difficult position. Similar situations can arise at any stage of pregnancy and childbirth.
The Commission suggests that requesting parents become legal parents before the umbilical cord is cut. If so, who will decide when to cut the umbilical cord? What about the placenta, which is fetal tissue?
In surrogacy, by definition, there is an imbalance of power - the ordering parents are usually much richer, more educated, and are accustomed to demanding and getting what they want, in contrast to the woman who endures pregnancy and childbirth for them.
I had two consultations with parent clients, and their ambition and sense of ownership was simply incredible. One man argued that there should be no limit on surrogacy pregnancies per woman, because some women give birth to 15 children. He was not at all worried about the realities of pregnancy and childbirth and the possible consequences for women; it was creepy and made him involuntarily think about whether such a person should be a parent.
These types of people can be very difficult to deal with. They are used to pushing until you bend under them, they waste so much of your working time that sometimes it is easier for you to agree just to get them to leave, because otherwise you will not be able to do your job - caring for a real patient.
Midwives are taught to be advocates for their patients and to always put them first. I expect that such behavior will cause strong resistance from them, but there is a risk that such legislative innovations will prevent them from protecting the interests of patients.
If hospital staff deal with such requesting parents during a difficult birth, the consequences can be enormous, and this is radically different from the situation when during labor there are close people nearby who are worried about the well-being of the woman as much as the well-being of the child .
Surrogacy: genes
The surrogacy program is one of the assisted reproductive technologies. Its essence is the voluntary use of a young, healthy woman, whose reproductive age is 20-35 years, as a person who agrees to bear a baby for an infertile couple. One genetic parent (only the father) can participate in the process, or with the help of the latest medical technologies, the fertilized egg of the genetic parents is implanted into the uterus of the surrogate mother. But besides this important point, there are a lot of nuances that should be taken into account before agreeing to such a serious, responsible step, both for future parents and for women who decide to take such an action
Genetics is a branch of medical science that studies the various probabilities of variability and heredity. In this case, future parents are interested in how likely the child and the surrogate mother are to be genetically related. Before allowing this method of combating infertility to become available to other married couples, it underwent a thorough study of all genetic nuances to exclude any diseases that may arise as a result of violation of the natural laws of fertilization and pregnancy in general. To this day, many scientists are trying to prove or deny with the help of scientific research the existence of a connection between the surrogate mother and the baby.
Violations of children's rights
We know of many terrible cases of violations of children's rights from other countries. In one case in the US state of Pennsylvania, a young man ordered a surrogate child, and at the age of six weeks the child died from severe physical abuse. In another case, Peter Truong and Mark Newton ordered a surrogate child from Russia, brought the newborn boy to the United States and sexually abused him for six years. The case of “Baby Gammy,” a child with Down syndrome born through surrogacy, was widely reported. The ordering parents abandoned the boy and left him in Thailand, but took his sister to Australia, despite the fact that the ordering father is a convicted pedophile.
There is no reason to believe that something similar will not happen in the UK if the proposed amendments are adopted.
Under current standards, midwives, like any other health professional, are trained in child protection. But with surrogacy, the likelihood of coercion, human trafficking and other abuses increases significantly, especially if amendments are passed to allow commercial surrogacy.
The Commission does not pay due attention to these issues.
It turns out that midwives must deal with all of these additional risk factors without additional training or resources. There is a need for thorough screening of requesting parents, similar to screening of potential adoptive parents, before they can enter into a surrogacy agreement.
Abandonment of a child by the ordering parents
The consultation document argues that giving the ordering parents legal parental rights from birth will somehow protect the surrogate mother in the event that they abandon the child. But this is an opinion based on misconceptions.
I knew one woman who got out of her hospital bed after giving birth and left the hospital. If this happens, the child is cared for in hospital until social services can place the child in a foster family or, if necessary, place the child for adoption.
In the UK it is very easy to give up your baby immediately after birth, at least from a practical point of view. Paragraph 8.24 notes that if the ordering parents abandon the child, the situation is no different from the case when the parents abandon the child after a normal pregnancy. The award of parental rights to the requesting parents does not offer the surrogate mother any additional protection. Rather, she is deprived of the protection that she currently has.
I will give birth to your son. About surrogacy in Russia
“The doctor said: “If you don’t shut up, I’ll say that you wanted to kill these children.”
Alena, 30 years old, surrogate mother, Balashikha:
In 2013, the man I lived with put a loan on me and abandoned me and the child. So I became a single mother, and even with a sick mother in my arms.
Collectors began to threaten us. The fastest way to pay off 800 thousand debt is to sell a kidney, but in Russia this is illegal. A friend advised me to try surrogacy. I posted an ad on the Internet. The calls were mostly from young, wealthy girls who wanted a child, but did not want to give birth and spoil their figure. Although I really needed money, I refused such people. I wanted to help childless couples.
One day a woman called: she came from the Urals, she couldn’t get pregnant for a long time because she worked in a hazardous industry, she went to doctors for a long time, but the treatment didn’t help - in general, she had her own hell. We met and liked each other. To pay for my services, she took out loans.
To enter the surrogacy program, you need the approval of a reproductive specialist, and you need to pass a bunch of tests. In addition, the entire pregnancy with the help of IVF is supported only by drugs; they are discontinued only at the 36–37th week. In general, they gave me a transplant and I became pregnant with twin boys. At week 35 we started choosing a hospital. Money from the bio ( biological mother. - Ed.)
) there wasn’t much, I decided that I would go to give birth according to the policy - and that was a big mistake. At 37 weeks I was admitted to Moscow maternity hospital No. 13. The doctors knew that I was a surrogate mother: so, they say, the surrogates have arrived again! At night the contractions began, but the nanny said: lie down, everything will pass. I lay there until the morning rounds and warned that my labor was rapid. They looked at me and waved me away: don’t lie. I decided to crawl to the toilet and almost gave birth to the baby there. While we were doing the first one, no one came to me, and I gave birth to the second one. When a dog whelps, they treat it with more care! The children were sent to intensive care because they were considered premature, but in the end everything was fine with them.
When someone starts saying on TV that surrogacy is child trafficking, I get very angry. God didn't give people a child, but I can help them
Bio was not allowed to attend the birth, I called them and complained. The doctor came to me in the postpartum ward: “If you don’t shut up, I’ll say that you wanted to kill these children and didn’t let them give birth!” You won’t get a penny at all!” It’s good that I was in the general ward and there were witnesses. I was discharged two days later.
I did not have maternal feelings for my children, they are not like me, genetically not mine. And then I initially gave myself the idea that these were not my children. But I communicate with my bio and children, I even became their godmother.
While I was looking for the first couple, I met another bio. At that time, she found a surrogate mother, but she was scamming her: there were three replacements, but she ruined them in order to receive a monthly remuneration. Bio calls me and says: “I won’t go for another attempt with her, there are two unfortunate cryos left ( embryos obtained through IVF are subjected to cryopreservation. - Ed.
), they can’t take any more eggs from me.” Well, I decided to help her. Got pregnant on the first try. Bio fell at my feet. This pregnancy was amazing. The biological parents also took out a loan, but found a good private clinic with competent doctors. I was Caesareaned: a big boy - 4600 years old. Recently the child turned one year old. I went to see them. The boy is very cool!
When someone starts saying on TV that surrogacy is child trafficking, I get very angry. God did not give people a child, but I can help them. Yes, I’m asking for compensation for this, but I’m going through such circles of hell that I wouldn’t wish on my enemy: endless pills, injections, blood draws, ultrasounds, MRIs. By the end of all pregnancies, my stomach and buttocks were punctured! There was no living place! My hands were swollen and I couldn’t get into the veins anymore.
I have completely paid off my debts, I even have a little left to live on. If I come across good bios, I’ll go to the program again. My child is 5 years old, I need to get him up to something. I live in the region, our salaries are small. We survive by farming: we bake our own bread, we have our own milk and eggs.
When day X arrived, it turned out that she had three immature eggs - she did not inject the drugs prescribed to her
“The surrogate mother said: it’s great that everyone is being killed in Donbass”
Natalya, 43 years old, biological mother, Nizhny Novgorod:
I have never gotten pregnant or had an abortion. I met my husband late, at 32 years old. Soon we started thinking about having children, but nothing worked out for us. The doctor suggested trying IVF. First we went to one Moscow clinic, where we spent a lot of money, then to another. Sometimes our embryos were of poor quality, sometimes they stopped developing and died. It took a lot of time, but there was still no result. Then I suggested to my husband to find an egg donor, he said: see for yourself.
I started looking for donors on the Internet and fell for an ad from a Ukrainian woman. We rented her a hotel room and bought tickets to Moscow. She arrived and started talking about how great it was that everyone was being killed in Donbass, that the Russians were occupiers. At the same time, she was ready to give up her egg so that the invaders would be fruitful and multiply. She periodically called me and asked for money for clothes, although this was not stated in the contract. Before the egg retrieval, she was prescribed hormone therapy. When day X arrived, it turned out that she had three immature eggs - she did not inject the drugs prescribed to her. I said that I would only pay money for the journey, because she deceived us. She threatened me on social networks that she would sue me, then she simply wrote nasty things.
Then we contacted the agency. Based on the photo, I chose a girl who looked like my grandmother. She had excellent genes and was in good health. I persuaded the nurse to give me her contact information. Agencies usually do everything anonymously and do not match parents and donors. We paid the girl 200 thousand. She participated in the program with us twice, but from these two times only one embryo was obtained, which may not have taken root, so we began to look for another donor.
This is a complicated matter. All the girls are sick, rotten, who knows what. The donor may be shown alone in the photo, but the egg may be someone else’s. Only those who are not accepted as non-anonymous become anonymous donors. Test results are also sometimes falsified. Either drunks, or Tajiks, Uzbeks, Ukrainians, and Moldovans wrote to us. In the end, a girl who very much reminded me of me in my youth wrote to us. We took her, despite the fact that our rhesus were different. She produced several embryos.
I once sent money for a ticket to Moscow, but she took it and didn’t come!
They gave me a transplant, but not a single embryo took root, so we decided to take a surrogate mother. Some raised the price to 3 million, but they didn’t know how rotten they were. We examined about 30 such girls. In Moscow clinics the prices are crazy. We pay the clinic 60 thousand for her examination, it turns out that she has a sore here, a sore there. And no one will return our money. Then I began to say that we would pay for the examination only if the candidate entered the surrogacy program. There are a lot of scammers. I once sent money for a ticket to Moscow, but she took it and didn’t come!
Then an intermediary from Ukraine found us a wonderful girl from Mari El for $200. I searched for a long time. The girl is amazing: efficient, polite, due to give birth in mid-December. We will take two more surrogate mothers because we want several children. Most likely, I will take the same girl, but at the same time I am looking for another one. Children will know how they were born. I don’t think it’s necessary to make a secret of this at all. What's so terrible about this? I am glad that we are resorting to modern reproductive technologies.
The other day I went to church, I wanted to get the priest’s blessing and find out if it was possible to baptize a child born by a surrogate mother. He immediately changed his face, looked at me with contempt and said that my husband and I were murderers and would burn in hell. I help everyone all the time, I’m a vegetarian, I’m against killing animals, not to mention killing children, and he tells me this! Then he called the surrogate mother a prostitute who sells her body. I tell him that when asked if I could come and be baptized, he never answered. And he: so, maybe the child will not be born or the mother will not give it to you, you are not yet the owners of this child! I was shocked. When I left the temple, I honestly wanted to hang myself. I could not say anything to the priests, bring the child and baptize him. But I want everything to be honest, in a Christian way.
I thought: “I’ll go to the program once and buy myself an apartment,” and I agreed
“My husband got involved with bandits, and I became a surrogate mother”
Nadezhda, 28 years old, surrogate mother, Meleuz:
When I was married, I had everything: an apartment, a car. My husband provided for me completely, didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t beat me, but he got involved with bandits, so I filed for divorce. My parents helped me, my mother still helps me well with the child.
One day I accidentally came across an advertisement on the Internet looking for a surrogate mother. I started corresponding with a girl who turned out to be an agent. I came to Ufa for examination. My health is perfect, even if you go to the program tomorrow: I grew up in a village where the environment is good. They didn't find a single flaw in me. The clinic staff even persuaded me to become an egg donor because I have perfect ovaries.
I said that I would carry a child for a million rubles. They started putting pressure on me: they understand that a person does not do this because of a good life. They said, we don’t have such fees, let’s give 350, well, 400 thousand maximum. I refused. In the end they offered 800 thousand. I thought: “I’ll go to the program once and buy myself an apartment,” and I agreed.
One married couple from Moscow spent a year and a half looking for a surrogate mother. I communicated with them through an intermediary, but never saw them. I called them number one and number two. I often dreamed about how bad they felt.
That’s how I ended up in the surrogacy program.
My aunt, in a conversation with my mother, said: “Come on, now is the 21st century! I made money! I would go myself, but in our time this didn’t exist.”
I carefully hid everything from relatives and friends, came home only in the early stages, and told my family that I had left to work. They rented a very nice apartment for me in Ufa with all the amenities. Then we placed another surrogate mother, and we became friends. The agent treated me very well and supported me constantly. I became pregnant with twins, and my belly began to grow sharply. The girls were big. I sat within four walls, because it was very difficult to walk with such a belly. I spoke with relatives by phone. In winter, I couldn’t stand it and asked my mother to bring my daughter. I put on a size 56 robe so she wouldn't notice anything.
My water broke early, at 35 weeks. I arrived at the clinic, immediately called the agent, and she contacted the biological parents. They arrived, but they entered from a different entrance; we didn’t even cross paths. The biological parents were not present at the birth because I was categorically against it. They did a lot for me and for the twins, for nine months they fulfilled my every whim, but I had no feelings for them. During childbirth there is a painful shock: when I gave birth to my daughter, I really wanted to strangle my husband. I was afraid that in a state of passion I might say something unpleasant to my biological parents.
I warned that I would not sign anything until I received the full amount in cash. After all, according to the law, the mother is the one who gave birth to the child. Everyone did just that. I received 800 thousand for one child, an additional payment of 200 thousand for the second and 100 thousand for a caesarean section. Before that, I was paid 15 thousand monthly. In general, the end result was 1.3 million rubles. I didn’t have enough for an apartment. With the money I received, I paid off the loans of my father, who died recently, to build a house. She paid back her debts. Part of the amount was frozen in the bank. Money is like water. I think I'll join the program again.
I initially didn’t like children, but when I gave birth, I cried. Yes, it was hard for me to give up my children. I was depressed for a month and a half. There were even thoughts about maybe finding them and seeing them. Six months have passed, we have never seen each other since then.
People eventually found out that I was a surrogate mother - it’s a small town. No one said anything bad to my face. It’s like I put on armor: after one look, it’s clear that I don’t want to hear anything. My aunt, in a conversation with my mother, said: “Come on, now is the 21st century! I made money! I would go myself, but in our time there was no such thing.” Only those people who can have children condemn surrogacy. The majority cannot understand the childless minority.
In Pulkovo she said: I realized that 700 thousand is not enough for me, I need a million! What a setup!
“We found a girl in Perm, and she has hepatitis”
Irina, 44 years old, biological mother, St. Petersburg:
My eldest son from my first marriage is 23 years old and is already married. I have been living with my second husband for 18 years. We really wanted children, but it just never worked out. The surrogacy saga began three years ago. I scoured the Internet for a very long time, studying what and how. I actively searched for my mother for six months. At some point my heart skipped a beat at a girl from Perm. She already had a two-year-old child, and she also had nowhere to live - she caught me on this. She said that she was being kicked out of the apartment, and we immediately bought her tickets to St. Petersburg and rented an apartment. She came with her son. We went to do tests, and then it turned out that she had hepatitis B. Moreover, she knew about her illness, but hid it. She was also offended by us and began to say that the child could be born healthy! We sent her back, also at our expense: she had a cute boy, he really liked him, it was a pity to leave him, even though everything turned out so dishonestly. Apparently, she just needed to rest somewhere at someone else’s expense, but we fed and watered her and provided her with housing.
A couple of months later I found a girl from Ukraine. She agreed to a fee of 700 thousand rubles. We spent a very long time drawing up the agreement, but never got around to signing it. Her protocol was about to begin, we were in a hurry so as not to fly by. We discussed everything verbally, scheduled the days, and bought her tickets. Already in Pulkovo she said: I realized that 700 thousand is not enough for me, I need a million! What a setup! Naturally, we broke off all relations with her: if such meanness begins upon arrival, then what will happen next?
Between these two mothers, I corresponded with a mother from St. Petersburg, who has five children of her own. At that time, she was carrying a child for her biological parents. We agreed that if something doesn’t work out between me and the Ukrainian woman, then after six months after the birth, which is necessary for recovery, she will help us. In general, we met, liked each other very much, and entered into an agreement. The first transplant was successful, she became pregnant. But she carried her youngest daughter in her arms, and then she also caught a cold and had a miscarriage. I was waiting for the next protocol, and she suddenly became pregnant from her husband, although she should have been protected!
Life ended for me then. We tried to have a child for 8 years! I decided to try the natural way one last time. And here is the result - a seven-month-old baby in my stroller!
If you don’t focus on your belly and wear loose clothes, then children won’t have any questions, because how many people walk around with big bellies?
“I treat them like nephews”
Ekaterina, 33 years old, surrogate mother, St. Petersburg:
I decided to become a surrogate mother to solve the housing problem. I researched the topic on the Internet and began looking for a suitable married couple. We met, discussed the conditions, took tests from the doctor.
There are a lot of people who want to become parents, but it is very difficult to find exactly those with whom you will feel comfortable going in tandem for all 9 months. They pay for services in different ways: some are ready to give birth for 700 thousand rubles, while others go for 1.5 million. It all depends on health, experience in this matter and on how much they can afford.
I am participating in the surrogacy program for the fifth time. The second time there was a frozen pregnancy at 16 weeks, the fourth time nothing happened. My result is two wonderful children and another one on the way - another birth is coming soon.
Giving birth is always difficult. And it’s always scary - even the first time, even the fifth. After all, IVF is always a risk. But when the baby is born, you just need to see the eyes of the biological mother - then you will understand everything.
I have two children of my own. They are small, and I don’t explain anything to them: mom just got better and that’s all. If you don’t focus on your belly and wear loose clothes, then children won’t have any questions, because how many people walk around with big bellies. My husband understands why this is being done and supports me. Other relatives and friends do not know that I am a surrogate mother. This is carefully hidden from them. There is no point in talking about something that people are not ready to accept. When I first became a surrogate mother, I moved to another city to live with my biological parents. They rented me a separate apartment. Bio came to our apartment, we walked together and talked a lot.
During pregnancy, I talk to my children, stroke my belly, and turn on calm music. The conversations are simple, like all mothers: now let’s go for a walk, let’s eat. If the child kicks painfully, I stroke him and tell him how good he is and that he needs to kick him quietly. I often say how mom and dad are waiting for him. I understand that I am a nanny for the child and nothing more.
Bio was present at the birth both times and supported. I felt nothing but joy for the couple. Babies were placed on my stomach immediately after birth, and then in the maternity hospital I nursed them together with their biomother. I was immediately ready to give the baby away, and my own children were waiting for me at home. There were no maternal feelings at all for the children I carried and gave birth to. I treat them like nephews, that’s all. Now we communicate with these couples, we even go to visit sometimes. I know how these kids grow and what new things they have learned to do. I solved the housing problem, for which I am grateful bio. I helped them, and they helped me.
Egg retrieval
As mentioned earlier, most surrogate pregnancies use “donor” eggs. The growth of surrogacy in the UK will require an increase in the availability of 'donor' eggs, which will inevitably lead to an increase in donation advertising (which is already legal) aimed at young women.
Egg retrieval is carried out in private clinics, but its complications have to be dealt with by public healthcare.
One of the biggest risks of egg retrieval is ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, which can be life-threatening. The current trend is to reduce this risk when retrieving a woman's eggs for her own IVF, where ovarian stimulation is kept to an absolute minimum. However, commercial egg retrieval seeks to maximize stimulation in order to maximize the number of eggs retrieved - this results in much greater risks for the women involved.
At one hospital in South West England, the number of patients with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome has almost doubled every year for the past three years. If the commission's proposals are adopted, we are likely to see a rise in such cases - further straining already stretched NHS resources and leading to dire consequences for women.
Data collection
It is clear that at the moment no one is trying to collect data on surrogacy and egg retrieval in the UK and their long-term consequences.
This issue needs to be addressed before any proposals that are likely to increase the rate of surrogacy and commercial egg retrieval in the country are adopted. In particular, large-scale and coordinated efforts are needed to collect and monitor data on egg retrieval, surrogate pregnancies and children born, and short- and long-term consequences.
Children from surrogate mothers reviews
Parents and their children share a deep psychological connection that does not fade over time. It is what makes parents instinctively want to care for and nurture their children, and is important for children's psychological well-being, sense of security and self-esteem. When a child is born through surrogacy, an emotional transfer must occur from the surrogate family to the intended parents. This emotional transfer allows the child to begin communication with his parents and vice versa. The emotional transfer is the culmination of each person's hard work during the surrogacy process. This is the most exciting and emotional part and the time when parents must be as focused on the baby's needs as possible.
Parents and children who have found each other through an experience such as surrogacy speak only positively about it and consider their families to be as traditional and normal as others. But there are still ethical problems with surrogacy.
