“Late” mothers... Better than never

The trend of late motherhood around the world is not accidental: the higher a woman’s education level, the later she decides to have a child. That is why in countries with a high level of education the average age of a woman giving birth is 30-35 years, and women from underdeveloped countries become mothers at the age of 16-20 years. Wide opportunities for development, travel, various hobbies and the desire to make a career significantly outweigh the prospect of having a child in the prime of life.

No one is in a hurry to realize their reproductive function, but, alas, from a biological point of view, the human body has not undergone great changes. If we still have rudimentary organs, the restructuring of the body for later conception cannot be expected in the next thousand years. And still, from a biological point of view, the best age for the birth of a first child is 20-25 years old. In any case, up to 30. And when deciding to have a child at a later age, you will have to take into account many things that can affect conception, the course of pregnancy, and the unborn child itself.

Limited Ovulation Resources

Previously, women had many children and either gave birth, nursed, or were pregnant. And it was easy for them to conceive even in adulthood, since the ovaries rested a lot. Monthly injuries to the ovaries due to the release of a mature egg after 30 years can cause side effects such as ovarian cysts, endometriosis and other diseases that prevent conception. The situation can be saved by oral contraceptives, which will prevent the maturation of the egg and give the reproductive organs rest. Hormonal contraception will also save eggs, which are given to each woman in individual, but always limited quantities. The difference in the number of eggs in the ovaries is the reason that some people successfully become pregnant at 40, while others cannot conceive at 20. To be confident in your capabilities, if you decide to postpone pregnancy for a long time, doctors recommend taking an anti-Mullerian test hormone and undergo ultrasound diagnostics. Such an examination will answer the question: whether you can conceive at a late age or not.

Risks for the child

The risks of late pregnancy are most often speculations of that category of people who still use the word “old-born.” The better a woman’s standard of living, health and activity, the lower the risk of giving birth to a child with a pathology. Unfortunately, not everything is measured by a healthy lifestyle, and sometimes genetics can play an unpredictable game. Thus, in women after 40 years of age, the reproductive organs become weaker and cannot suppress all pathological changes. This is confirmed by inexorable statistics: among 40-year-olds, 1 child with a pathology is born in 130 healthy ones, and among 20-year-olds, 1 in 550.

Psychological age of motherhood

Psychologists are convinced that while physical development is now accelerating at a remarkable pace, mental development, on the contrary, is lagging behind. Therefore, if it is better to physically give birth at 20-25, then to assess psychological readiness for this you need to add 10-12 years. Less than 30 - it doesn't work. And research shows that the average age of women giving birth around the world will only rise. Psychological readiness for motherhood is a willingness to monitor one’s health and lifestyle, confidence in one’s financial resources, and the ability to provide both oneself and the child with the best level of medical care and education. The later a child is born, the more consciously his upbringing is, the less risk for the mother of developing postpartum depression.

Physiological phenomenon

Data vary, but there is an opinion that late childbirth prevents osteoporosis and lowers cholesterol levels. Those who gave birth after 35 years have a much easier menopause and fewer problems with the genitourinary tract. A hormonal explosion in adulthood can relatively slow down cell aging and transform a woman’s appearance.

Just a few decades ago, a woman getting married and having children after age 30 was a source of bewilderment. This age in society was already considered mature, and pregnancy and childbirth were considered ill-conceived and dangerous events.

Even in obstetrics, women who decided to have their first child after thirty had a special status - “old first-time mother.”

Today, according to many gynecologists, 35 is the very age when a woman’s body is fully prepared for the birth of her first child. Late children - pros or cons? How does the age of the mother affect the health of the unborn baby and its further development?

Late motherhood

Typically, mothers who do not have children at an earlier age either build a career and personal wealth, or are unable to have a child due to health problems. For both, the long-awaited baby becomes a great happiness. A mother who has already achieved a stable position in society, has decided on housing, which is very important now, can devote more time to raising a child. After all, young parents who are studying at college or just starting to work often spend more time on themselves. And no matter how much they love their baby, their time is simply limited by the realities of modern life. Couples who have a child after 40 can afford to share the responsibilities of providing for the family and raising the child, paying more attention to the child's development. Mothers who can constantly be close to the baby are involved in its development more diligently and consistently. They enjoy doing massages and gymnastics for a long time. They monitor the child’s diet and prepare a variety of foods every day. They can spend hours reading to the baby or playing useful games. Leading a measured life, they rejoice at every step of the child, which young parents simply do not have enough time and energy for.

Another plus is that in couples who have lived together for many years, relationships are calmer and more stable. And each parent individually has already matured as an individual. It cannot be said that young mothers raise their children worse; many modern girls are very educated in matters of psychology and health. But mature parents can organize their child’s life more calmly and measuredly. This is important for children. If parents already have older children, then by giving birth to a late baby, they can use their experience in raising older brothers and sisters, avoiding all the mistakes that inexperienced parents make. Some late mothers, of course, overindulge their long-awaited babies, especially having material and physical capabilities, subsequently raising them to be disobedient and uncontrollable egoists. But, in fairness, it should be noted that it is mothers over thirty who give birth to the majority of child prodigies.

Now let's talk about the disadvantages of late motherhood. Late births cause great concern, because no matter how much parents expect and want a baby, there are very real threats to the health of mother and child. And here the statistics, unfortunately, are disappointing. In women over the age of 40, the risk of having a child with genetic disorders, including Down syndrome, increases 10 times. The risk of miscarriage is more than 30%. During pregnancy, a woman may experience an exacerbation of chronic diseases, the appearance of diabetes mellitus, etc. And it is physically more difficult for parents to feed and raise a baby at an older age. When the so-called late child grows up, parents cannot spend hours playing or snowboarding. Their children sadly watch how other teenagers have fun in the company of their parents. And they themselves constantly have to deal with ridicule from classmates about the age of their parents. Late children often have difficulty getting along with peers; they prefer to communicate with older friends. Parents themselves very often put pressure on their children with their authority, forcing them to study more in order to meet unreasonably high demands. Therefore, such children grow up less active, choosing quieter hobbies. But perhaps this is not so bad, because the main thing is that the child has a favorite activity that brings pleasure and positive emotions.

But what definitely doesn’t bring positive emotions to late-life children is watching their mom and dad grow old. Many people, being late children of their parents, sadly talk about how hard it is for them when their parents are sick, and how scary it is for them to think about the fact that they could lose them.

Of course, it is difficult to say unequivocally at what age it is better to have a child. The main thing is probably to want this very much and try to be good, loving and caring parents for your baby. Young people need to be more calm and patient, and older parents need to try to remain active and modern. It is very important to listen, understand and support the child in any situation, and then age will not matter.

Every year the percentage of “late” children is increasing. According to statistics, over the past 5 years, the number of first-time women over 35 years old, who in the Soviet Union were incorrectly called “old-timers,” has doubled.

After 35-40 years, many show business stars became mothers for the first time: Jodie Foster, Monica Bellucci, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek, Eva Mendes, Naomi Watts and others. These star mothers set an example for millions of ordinary women, which does not make doctors happy. Nowadays, ladies increasingly prefer to build a career first and postpone the birth of their first baby indefinitely.

Late motherhood: should we be sad?

I believe that children are from God. This means that they come at a time appointed not by us, but from above.

And as much as this is a joyful and sacred gift, it is also a test, responsibility and test for a matriculation certificate. Having become parents, we take this exam every day and hourly, no matter how old we are.

Each age category of mothers has its own charm and beauty. And in each specific case, it is the choice of the woman herself (together with her husband/partner) when to become a mother and whether to become a mother at all.

For many, motherhood is not a planned event. This is how life goes: study, interesting work, career. And quite often women, although not deprived of male attention, nevertheless take a very long time to get married. And they come out even later. Most likely because they consider themselves to be healthy, for whom it is never too late to give birth.

From the height of my life experience, I can now say with confidence that late motherhood has its bonuses.

An incomparable advantage is that at the age of 40, when deciding to have and give birth to a child, you are much more confident that the two of you, or even the whole family, want it. A child, as a rule, is even more than welcome.

The birth of a child by a woman after forty eloquently indicates that everything is fine with her husband. And the relationship, if not cloudless, is strong and unshakable. In their case, a child is a gift from God (especially if he is healthy), which unites even more than before.

In addition, both parents by this time are already established individuals who can and know exactly what they want to pass on to their child; what to teach, who to leave behind and how to “give wings” to your child.

Photo: Depositphotos

But among the disadvantages, which for some may be even more significant, it is necessary to mention numerous health problems for both the mother and, possibly, the child. And then this is a test.

Moreover, parents in adulthood are always very clearly aware that their resources are far from unlimited. They feel with their skin that there is actually an abyss between them and the child. Age, epistemological and all other factors, which they are called upon to reduce daily and hourly, trying to speak the same language with the child.

Living with his problems and experiences, walking, playing and developing, which is quite difficult, especially for fathers if they are over 40, or even over 50. And yes, this is a kind of feat when an over-aged “young” father takes part on equal terms with his mother in raising a child.

Thus, late motherhood is always characterized by hard-won optimism and positive thinking.

I will say more, there is even a difference between late (born after 35 and before 40) children and very late (after 40).

So, for example, I clearly remember that, having given birth to my first child at 37, I was ready to lie down, but to calm the child and calm his crying, whims and hysterics at all costs. And I even succeeded! But now, almost seven years later, when my youngest, who is one and a half, behaves like this, I, having vainly tried a couple of tried-and-true remedies, am no longer afraid to give up everything halfway. Moreover, I can sternly tell him: “I beg you, behave decently!” Otherwise, you have every chance of being left without a mother ahead of time!”

What else to read on the topic?

Who needs child-free motherhood? What's in my seed for you? On the issue of delayed motherhood: Is being a single mother an advantage or a disadvantage?

Tags: motherhood, positive thinking, middle age, raising a child, life experience

Genius children

The main reason for such a late birth - financial stability, which can only be achieved in adulthood - does not satisfy doctors at all. Official medicine believes that it is best to give birth at a younger age, around 22-28 years. Then the mother is healthier, and the child is born strong, without genetic abnormalities.

Contrary to this, there is an opinion that late children have a greater chance of becoming successful individuals or even geniuses than their peers with young parents. There are plenty of examples of this. Late children included Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Marshal of the Soviet Union Zhukov, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky and many other talented people.

This popular belief about late child geniuses was confirmed by British researchers. A group of scientists from Birkbeck College London and University College checked the data of several thousand “late” and “early” babies. The results of the study were presented at the paediatrics conference in Glasgow in May 2012.

The British have practically proven that children born to mothers after 40 have a higher level of intellectual development. By the age of five, such children in the vast majority of cases have a higher IQ than their peers born to young mothers. “Late” children have a wider vocabulary, they read better, think logically, and are even less likely to suffer from obesity.

Benefits of late motherhood

By this time, most childless couples have already realized how much they want to become parents. Having reached a certain level of income, the family is financially independent and can give all the unspent love to the long-awaited baby.

Using the examples of friends, I realized that mothers of “late children”:

Even during pregnancy, maximum attention is paid to health, and therefore to the health of the unborn baby. They scrupulously follow the doctor’s orders, eat well, and most importantly, joyfully await the arrival of their first child. And dads in such families take a responsible approach to the birth of a baby;
They surround the newborn with love and attention, and are patient. The child grows up in a calm, friendly environment. The baby has the best conditions to grow and develop;
They themselves often simply blossom. After all, the body produces a maximum of hormones necessary to both give birth and feed the baby. It has been noticed that most women who lived to be 90 years old gave birth to a child at 35-40 years old.

Successful adults spend a lot of time with the child, play and study, and rejoice in his small victories. It is not surprising that this gave rise to the myth of the genius of late children.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), geniuses are not born very often. It’s just that kids, surrounded by such love and attention, can be seriously ahead of their peers in intellectual development in early childhood.

We have received an ideal model of a family, where realized people, who have managed to live for themselves, responsibly raise a beloved and almost brilliant child. But there are times when not everything is so rosy.

Reasons for the birth of talented children

The reasons for such rapid and early development are quite understandable and even predictable. There is no mystery in them. Adult mothers are more conscientious about their maternal responsibilities, starting with the intrauterine development of the fetus. They don’t smoke, eat healthy food, take care of their nerves and give the most useful things to their future heir. A child is a real treasure for such mothers, long-awaited and carefully cherished.

After his birth, forty-year-old mothers also make every effort to ensure that the baby develops harmoniously and succeeds in many areas. This is the reason that “late” children are so smart, talkative and well-read. Enhanced care more than covers the possible risks of having a child at such a late age (for example, the high risk of having a baby with Down syndrome).

Due to the lack of experience and often the proper desire to have a child, young mothers do not give their offspring even half of what those same “old-born” mothers give their long-awaited heirs. Child psychologists believe that thanks to such great care and consciousness of adult women, their children also have better mental health. They are calmer and adapt better to life than ordinary babies.

Read also: How to raise a brave child

Public opinion

One of the obvious features is society’s ambivalent attitude towards this situation. Encouraging everything that in one way or another demonstrates the desire for activity, preservation of youth in all manifestations, and changes in life, it highlights areas and individual events where all this can be allowed and where not. A woman who, in the year of her fiftieth anniversary, changes jobs, goes to college, moves to another city, breaks off a relationship that has not suited her for a long time and starts a new one, is definitely a good job. “It's never too late to start a new life. We invent our own age. You proved that these are just numbers in a passport and the main thing is how we feel about ourselves and how we behave.” Everyone will say something similar, everyone will admire it. It’s a completely different matter if the same woman announces that she is expecting a child. Yes, she decided to do this for the same purpose - to make her life more complete, rich, and interesting. And yes, this also indicates activity and youth. However, words of support will be much more restrained. “Well done, what can you say, I’ve made up my mind...” And no one will assure that we invent the age ourselves - on the contrary, there will be precise calculations and warnings.

“I'm forty-six. And this is my first child. And I would be happy if there were no disagreements in my family and with friends about this. With their question “Have you thought well?” drive me crazy. As if I was underage or doing something inappropriate. Yes, I thought more than all of them combined about their children. And, of course, this is not easy for me either. After all, I even undergo more medical examinations than other mothers. So I ask those around you – just rejoice!” Anna

Society approves of any manifestation of youth as a way of life and thought, any desire for it. But not like that. Why? Because this is a collective unconscious fear for the offspring, for their health and safety. Nature instilled it in people in ancient times, and when it comes to childbirth, we strive for generally accepted and time-tested norms. In this area, ideas about appropriate and inappropriate ages, about what is “in time” and what is “out of time” are preserved. A woman whose decision to become a mother contradicts these ideas will experience the complex emotional mood of those around her. No, not condemnation, rather some doubt, surprise and tension. And this prevents many expectant mothers from feeling harmonious. You should be prepared for this state of affairs. So that every question: “Isn’t it too late?”, every perplexed look does not cause feelings of resentment or protest. So as not to waste emotions in vain and focus on what is important.

What to tell your child?

When the birth of a child does not happen the way it does in most families, the question of the reasons is always more significant and always comes first. This will be of interest to the immediate environment now and will be a reason for the child’s own thoughts later, when he grows up. Of course, all people are concerned to one degree or another about the story of their birth. However, children born into the most ordinary family and in the most ordinary circumstances almost never ask the question “Why and how was I born?”, even if later, for example, the parents separated. Unlike children born out of wedlock, or to mothers who are too young, or, on the contrary, to those who, due to their age, could easily become grandmothers. Indeed, in the first case, the situation is perceived as an ordinary normal course of life, in the second - as some kind of special story. In the minds of a person who was born “not like everyone else,” the story of his birth always occupies a larger place. Both in childhood and later. And it can significantly influence his worldview.

“...I never asked my mother how I was born. For some reason it was disturbing to think about it. And, although I saw photographs where my mother was pregnant, and ones where I was only a few days old, it always seemed to me that I was not my own. When I was in the fifth grade, my mother became seriously ill, and her friend once said: “It’s good that at least you exist. Otherwise, now I would be left alone.” Even later, from the same friend, I learned that my mother did not love her husband and did not want children from him. Then they divorced, my mother spent a long time looking for the ideal man for a relationship. At the age of forty, she became pregnant from a casual acquaintance, and her friends persuaded her to give birth - as they say, for themselves. “She really appreciated you. Maybe I wasn’t always able to show it.” I understand that the mother did not know how to communicate with the child. I'm not offended by her. But for a very long time I had the feeling that I was superfluous, random, that I was not particularly welcome. It disappeared only now, when the children were born and I felt what real affection means.” Maya, mother of Masha and Leni

Their morals

Not all stories of the birth of “late” children are dramatic. All over the world there are more and more women with just such a life plan. Education, career, hobbies, self-development and only then – a child. When you can already fully concentrate only on education. And, of course, there are couples who have decided to completely trust nature in matters of childbirth. Both of them feel absolutely calm, confident in anticipation and convey these feelings to the child.

In this regard, it is worth thinking in advance about what, how and to whom to talk about it. The information may be true, but it should not be traumatizing or disturbing. It is important for any person to recognize the non-accidentality of his birth, its desirability for loved ones. And the fact that this in itself was the main goal. It’s not very pleasant for a child to know that he was born, because his older brother grew up, left, his mother felt very bad without him, and so... It’s better if the parents always wanted another child and he was finally born.

State of the art

Changes in activity, emotionality, speed of reaction - all this is inevitable. This is not so noticeable when people live as usual and regulate their loads themselves. But a child changes the conditions of existence radically; caring for him requires the application of a huge amount of effort.

“Listen, have the rattles always been this loud? They can drive you crazy,” my husband once told me. He himself is just walking with his daughter. If he gets up at night, then he has pressure, if he plays for a long time, his back hurts. To be honest, I’m very tired myself. Still, a child at eighteen and a child at forty-five are not the same thing. With my first son, I also managed to study at the institute, and now we even sometimes call a nanny. I don’t have enough strength to play, feed, bathe, and walk without a break. And, of course, I really miss silence and a state of relaxation. But, I hope, we will soon get used to this way of life. Because our baby demands more and more attention and entertainment every day.” Elena, Yulia's mother

The older the parents, the calmer the children's behavior. This is the influence of the educational environment. Parents demonstrate more restrained emotions and a more even attitude to different situations. Their speech, movements, facial expressions are softer, and even noisy games performed by those over forty are not so noisy. Children unconsciously adopt all these traits and get used to just this way of life. They are more prone to contemplative entertainment; they begin to read, draw, and memorize poetry earlier than others. This does not bother parents; on the contrary, they even make them happy. The child demonstrates early observation and good knowledge of many issues. However, in the company of other children - on the playground, in the kindergarten - a certain separation from the team becomes noticeable. It's not that they can't play together, it's just that their rules of communication, their environment is not the same as that of most children. After all, even for preschoolers it is important to be, as they say, on the same wavelength with their play partner. “Be faster, more active, have fun with everyone,” parents say. But sometimes the child doesn’t even understand what they want from him. There is only one way to solve the problem of adult upbringing beyond your years - to involve other people in communication. Adults, but younger. Relatives, older children, friends. It is advisable for the child to go to kindergarten - even if the mother has the opportunity to devote herself entirely to the family. This will also contribute to activity and the formation of various behavioral traits.

Fear for the child

“I myself am a late child. I remember well the feeling when one of the children in kindergarten or school shouted: “Larissa, grandma has come for you!” On the one hand, it was a shame for my mother, on the other hand, of course, I was embarrassed. I decided for myself back then that I would only have children at a very young age. But ironically, everything turned out quite the opposite. Now I'm fifty-two. The children are thirteen and four. No one tells them that I am a grandmother - I pay a lot of attention to my appearance and have even had plastic surgery. But I still worry about how children perceive our age. I'm afraid that such a difference will still interfere with relationships later. In any case, it interfered with my relationship with my mother. We were never close." Larisa, mother of Sasha and Polina

Everyone understands that it is possible to predict the future only to a certain extent and that after five or ten years everything may not go exactly according to our plan. However, young people are characterized by an attitude called “unrealistic optimism” in psychology. Everything will be fine no matter what. Thoughts about the future among older people can also be positive, but they have more of a sober view and a connection of factors. In the sphere of parenting, such a pattern also exists. The older people are, the more worried they are about the future of their children. And these experiences are very detailed. What will we look like when our child graduates from school? Will we be healthy enough to take care of ourselves all the time? Will he distance himself from us? If something happens to us, who will support him? How does he even cope with having such parents? If such questions are intrusive, then the matter is, rather, not simply in the desire to take care and create good conditions. There is probably some deeper fear associated with one’s own experience and perception of age. This is certainly worth thinking about. Why does age scare you, how do you imagine a person in different periods of life, what kind of relationship do you expect. And - about what in this regard would be ideal for you, the child and the family as a whole. In reality, each person still chooses his own image of everything and follows it. As for children, the age of the parents, of course, matters and influences their upbringing. But not at all in the sense of “worsens, complicates.” Relationships are a complex and multifaceted structure, and all factors are interdependent. Emotions, words, views, willingness to listen, understand and accept, the ability to look at situations from different positions, the ability to rejoice and demonstrate a positive outlook on the world - everything influences whether a trusting relationship will develop with a child and whether he will be happy. And this, you see, does not depend on how old the parents are.

And celebrities set the fashion here. Monica Bellucci

She gave birth to her first daughter at 39, her second at 45,
Nicole Kidman
at 40, and
Halle Berry
,
Salma Hayek
,
Kim Basinger
became mothers of daughters at 41.
Ours are not lagging behind. Actress Marina Mogilevskaya
gave birth to a daughter at 41,
Svetlana Permyakova
at 40, TV presenter
Olga Shelest
became a mother at 36,
Olga Drozdova
at 42.
And simultaneously with the increase in the age of parents, research data increasingly appears that late childbirth has a lot of advantages. American researchers claim that women who give birth for the first time after the age of 25 are more likely than their peers who became mothers before 25 to live to be 90. In another study, the Swedes found that children of older parents do better at school, and the British even claim that first-born children those born to mothers after 40 years of age have a higher IQ level, they have a richer vocabulary, they read better and are even less likely to suffer from obesity. In short, late children are more likely to be talented and successful in all areas of life. And there are plenty of examples in history. Later children were Mozart
,
Tchaikovsky
,
Marshal Zhukov
and others.

But is there really a direct connection between the age of the parents and the success of the child? Or is this just an attempt to justify the selfish behavior of modern women (and, apparently, there are many of them among the same research scientists) who want to live for themselves, build a career, gain wealth, and only then think about having children?

“A clear trend in modern society is an increase in the duration of adolescence to 20 years,” says Kirill Khlomov, a senior researcher at the Institute of Social Sciences of the Russian Presidential Academy of National Economy and Public Administration.

. “It’s rare that a student now works at the same time to live independently. Most are supported by their parents. With the end of school there is neither growing up nor separation from the parental family. And this leads to the fact that the next stages of growing up, such as starting a family or a child, are also postponed. About 10-15 years ago, young people believed that they should get married at 19-20 years old. Now, according to opinion polls, men consider the ideal age for marriage to be 27 years old, and women 23 years old. In reality, people get married (on average) at 28 and 26 years old, respectively. Moreover, even after starting a family, they are in no hurry to have children. They wait until they are 30 years old. There are many reasons. For example, an increase in the number of young families taking out mortgages. At the same time, older parents, having acquired a stable income, have more opportunities to develop their child, take them to the best teachers, to sports clubs, and send them to a good school.”

That is, the talents of late children are determined not by the age of the parents, but by increased care for the long-awaited and carefully planned heir.

Late pregnancy - pros and cons

Recently, the number of women who decide to give birth to their first child after 35 and even after 40 years of age has been growing. And if earlier women who gave birth after 28 years were already considered “old-timers,” today this no longer surprises anyone. In the modern world, many women postpone having children indefinitely because they first want to achieve career success, improve their financial situation, stabilize their personal lives, because now the age of marriage has also increased.

Due to the fact that modern life requires a lot of work, some people start families at an older age. After 35 years, as a rule, these goals have been achieved, the material base has been created, there is no need to worry about how to raise a child, and many women are thinking about adding to their family. The child is born very desired and surrounded by great love and affection.

Late pregnancy - Cons

Of course, pregnancy, if planned and long-awaited, always brings joy. But if a woman decides to have a child after 35 or even after 40 years, then she needs to be especially careful.

— Doctors warn that at such a mature age there is a certain risk, as chronic diseases may worsen.

— After 40 years, the risk of miscarriage increases to 30%, possibly incorrect placenta previa and the risk of genetic abnormalities in the fetus.

— You need to be especially careful if you have diabetes or chronic diseases of the cardiovascular system and kidneys.

— For pregnant women over 40 years of age, doctors often recommend a cesarean section, as the risk of birth injuries increases due to the fact that the tissues gradually lose their elasticity, ruptures and bleeding are possible. The risk for the baby is that it may be born prematurely, have low weight, or have some kind of genetic abnormality.

Late Pregnancy - Pros

- However, despite all this, you should not despair if you decide to have your first child at an older age. As a rule, by the age of 35, a woman is already established, psychologically mature, and she consciously decides to have a child. And very often at this age women give birth to absolutely healthy children. The main thing is to follow all the doctors’ recommendations, monitor your well-being, eat more vitamins, walk more in the fresh air and think only about good things. During pregnancy it is necessary to undergo medical examinations. Therefore, do not be afraid of anything, boldly go towards your dream of becoming a mother! Children are our hopes, our future. Childbirth after 35 years has a rejuvenating effect on the body.

- “Late mothers” experience less anxiety and worry during pregnancy, they are calmer than young girls, a 40-year-old woman has wisdom and life experience that 20-year-old girls do not have. Adult women approach pregnancy and childbirth with full responsibility.

— A woman after 30 years of age, as a rule, plans a pregnancy and seriously prepares for it; even before conception, she undergoes a medical examination and undergoes the necessary procedures. A child will not be a burden for her; on the contrary, a baby at that age is desired and long-awaited for a woman, a source of great joy.

By carefully preparing for pregnancy, following all doctor's instructions, preparing her body for such a long-awaited event, a woman reduces the risk of complications during pregnancy and subsequent childbirth.

— In raising children, “late” mothers show more patience; they pay more attention to the formation of various abilities and the development of talents in their child. They devote more time and effort to the child, investing in him all the best that they have in themselves. It is believed that “late” children are more talented and gifted, most likely precisely because parents pay a lot of attention to the development of their child.

— As a rule, by the age of 40, a woman has already developed a career and financial resources, and the housing issue has been resolved. She is more confident. She does not need to make enormous efforts to improve her living conditions. She will be able to devote more time to her baby.

“Even if for some reason she has to raise the child alone, she will be able to provide him with good medical care, education and an interesting vacation.” If the family is complete, then both mom and dad are already mature individuals, they understand all the responsibility to the little man and take an active part in his upbringing.

Motherhood brings great joy at any age and a child can fill your life with new meaning. Therefore, do not be afraid of anything, being a mother is the greatest happiness a woman can have!

Author Evgeniya for Women's magazine "Prelest"

No average given

“Success is a confluence of a large number of circumstances,” says Kirill Khlomov. “This is not something that can be planned and controlled. I know families where women gave birth to sons at the age of 30, one became successful, the other has been unemployed for many years and has a mental illness. There are both pros and cons to early and late parenthood. It is obvious that young parents find it easier to play with their children; they have more courage for all sorts of “pampering”. As we age, we often become more irritable. For young parents, the noise, screams and excitement of the child may rather make them want to join in the fun. Again, in a young family, the child is immersed in social activity - cheerful companies, meetings. Children of elderly parents adapt faster to traditional schools - they have better self-regulation associated with the ability to concentrate, maintain silence and discipline. The same thing applies to children who are given to their grandparents to raise. Another nuance is that young parents are not so afraid for their children. They have less experience of being “beaten by life,” mental trauma and disappointment. In this case, children may perceive themselves as stronger, stronger and more dexterous. Among successful athletes, most likely, there are significantly fewer late-born children. Children of elderly parents perceive the world as more dangerous and themselves as more fragile. Which, however, does not prevent both of them from switching places in adolescence. From protest and unrealized accumulated passion.

Finally, after 40, the first child usually remains the only one. And when there is only one heir, there are more expectations from him. So there is nothing terrible about late parenthood, and at the same time it does not guarantee anything outstanding.”

However, doctors for the most part do not support women’s desire to give birth only after they have gotten back on their feet.

Late child

Home / Children and parents / Late child

Which child can be considered late? Opinions differ: from a medical point of view, a child whose mother is over 35 years old is considered late; from a social point of view, it is at this age that a woman is prepared to become a mother - by this time her financial situation is quite strong, the ambitious impulses of youth have been realized, and now she is ready to devote herself to the child.

By the way, in the West it has long become the norm for a woman to plan her first child after 30 years of age. However, women over 30 are classified by doctors as a special group - why?

It is more difficult for women over 35 to get pregnant: with age, the risk of developing diseases that can lead to infertility increases. Of course, they are all being treated, but there is less time for treatment. After 35, ovarian activity decreases and pregnancy occurs less frequently.

With age, not only organs “wear out,” but also individual cells, in particular eggs. A woman is born with a certain number of eggs, which are not renewed throughout her life. In men, on the contrary, sperm are renewed almost monthly. In other words, the older the woman, the less quality the eggs become (affected by diseases, bad habits, stress, radiation, etc.). If at 20 and 25 years old the eggs are still young, then the closer a woman’s age is to 40 years, the higher the risk of giving birth to a child with genetic abnormalities.

Children with a severe chromosomal disorder - Down's disease - are born more often to older women; Observations suggest that the mothers of such children are completely normal and healthy, educated and accomplished as individuals, without any bad heredity. Doctors cannot explain why this happens, but abnormalities in a child can be detected in the early stages of pregnancy: at 16-17 weeks, pathologies can be detected by ultrasound (a special examination aimed at identifying abnormalities) and using a blood test that determines the concentration of two biologically active substances in the mother’s blood: AFP (alfofetoprotein) and hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin). A change in the concentration of these substances indicates Down's disease or severe congenital malformations (for example, heart disease).

Yet, all over the world, women give birth not only at 20, but also much later, and most of the so-called late children are born absolutely normal. Everything is determined by a woman’s health; if a 30-year-old woman has the health of a 20-year-old, then why shouldn’t she give birth? Late children are the most desirable and beloved because a woman who is over 30 is ready to give herself entirely to the child, because by this time she does not perceive him as an obstacle to her career plans, she is confident in the child’s father, and if this suddenly happens, that a woman is lonely, yet at this age she has provided herself with everything she needs and can count on her own strength. The birth of a new life is always a miracle; how can age interfere when there is a great desire?

Reserves are not unlimited

“Nature gifts women differently with precious cells from which a new life develops in the expectant mother’s body,” says obstetrician-gynecologist with 30 years of experience Irina Torganova

. — On average, by puberty there are 250 thousand eggs, but one may have 20 thousand, and another 500 thousand. The supply of eggs decreases especially rapidly after 35 years. By 40 there may not be any left at all. And, if reserves are naturally small, the birth of children cannot be postponed. After 35 years, the risk of hereditary diseases in the unborn child increases. Yes, there are women who bear healthy children at 45 years old. But there are only a few of them! Most people at this age do not give birth without the help of expensive medicine.”

Hello, dear parents!

Are children the flowers of life? Trite... Children are the greatest gift, our hope, our future? Or is it a huge responsibility, load and a lot of responsibilities? People can reason differently, and their point of view can change over the course of their lives under the influence of personal impressions and experiences - both their own and those of others.

Nowadays there are many different life views, almost philosophical systems regarding the family and the children in it. Some even come to a “childfree” lifestyle - that is, freedom from children.

Some adults do not want to grow up, many do not want to take care of someone, much less bear constant responsibility.

True, it also happens that an existing child is literally pushed onto the grandparents, while they themselves continue to live as they want. And the general trend in modern society is that more and more people are deciding to become parents at an older age than was recently the case. I already wrote about how good they are in a separate article.

And now I invite you to think about such a question as late children: the pros and cons, regardless of whether it is your first-born or not.

Late children. What problems in life await children of middle-aged parents?

To be honest, it all depends on upbringing, and not on the age of the parents.

I was born when my mother was 35 years old and my father was 37 years old. True, there was more than one in the family; besides me, there were 2 more brothers. Now they are adults themselves, have jobs and even children. But I’ll write about this later.

My parents were not rich - my father changed many professions, he was a factory worker, an electrician, a taxi driver and even a businessman for some time, but he made little money from it. Mom was an ordinary seamstress at a factory, later unemployed, or, usually speaking, a housewife.

Now my parents are 50 years old, but they look much younger than their years; many are sincerely surprised when they find out that my parents are already over 40 years old. They said that mom looks 39, and dad looks about the same, maybe a little younger/older. Many have parents younger than mine, but they look much older, some are barely 45 years old, but already have gray hair.

I was never pampered, they didn’t shower me with some super-expensive gifts (they gave me all sorts of toys, well, everyone did that), they didn’t control me at every step, they didn’t worry about me over every little thing (I remember even leaving home for 4 days, my parents We were worried, of course, but there was no such thing as being completely afraid for me), they always understood me and respected my opinion. But at the same time, they didn’t allow me to do anything really bad - I remember breaking someone’s window for fun when I was 4 years old. , well, dad naturally took action (you already understand that, everyone has had this happen).

I learned to walk at normal times (I was 9-12 months old), learned to eat correctly even earlier, and washed myself from the age of 3-4 years. He also learned to speak early, but with some defects; his speech was slurred until he was 4.5 years old, then everything became normal, except that the burr remained. Otherwise, I do not lag behind in psychological development; psychologists said that on the contrary, I am ahead of my peers.

By the way, there is a myth that late children are very selfish. Here, too, everything depends on upbringing. I was often told that I am a very sympathetic person, always ready to help (at least that’s what my friends or acquaintances say).

There have never been any problems with health either: everything is the same as in healthy children from young parents.

I can do a lot of things, for example, cook, I can do repairs in an apartment, I know a little about plumbing, I know history well from the humanities, I understand rights and laws. He also learned to drive a car at the age of 14.

I don’t know, maybe I come from a simple working-class family, and therefore am not spoiled, or maybe I just have such good parents, in any case, everything about my parents suits me quite well.

It’s even cool, especially when you have older brothers who have children, and you’re already kind of like an uncle. By the way, one brother is already 30 years old, his child is already 5 years old, my dad seems to be a rather young grandfather, but at the same time an elderly father. These are the metamorphoses))

Better late

Whether to have children or not, and when to do it, is up to you to decide. Some people at the age of 20 already believe that they are morally mature for parenthood - this is especially true for expectant mothers. Please, no offense, but potential dads usually grow up later...

Someone deliberately postpones the birth of a baby in order to devote themselves to study, career and achieving a certain social and material well-being. Often a woman does not give birth because she is not sure that her current partner will support her decision and become a good father for the child.

What's the end result? The years fly by quickly, and now age begins to scare you in itself (what if you won’t be able to get pregnant, carry it to term and give birth, whether the baby will be healthy, etc. - a woman can invent her fears ad infinitum).

On the other hand, maybe only now the time has come when she understands that she really wants and is ready to take care of the child.

In general, everything has its time, and each family has its own time.

And let strangers, and relatives too, keep their opinions to themselves - both on the topic “why are you giving birth so late” (yeah, for example at 33 years old), and on the topic “why haven’t you given birth yet” (and you still and under 30 years old, or you never know, health problems, and in general this is your personal business).

Doctor Komarovsky: preparation for childbirth

Hello, dear parents!

Nowadays there are many different life views, almost philosophical systems regarding the family and the children in it. Some even come to a “childfree” lifestyle - that is, freedom from children.

Some adults do not want to grow up, many do not want to take care of someone, much less bear constant responsibility.

And now I invite you to think about such a question as late children: the pros and cons, regardless of whether it is your first-born or not.

On the other hand, maybe only now the time has come when she understands that she really wants and is ready to take care of the child.

In general, everything has its time, and each family has its own time.

Does nature know best?

There are many opinions expressed “for and against” late birth of children. There are compelling arguments for both points of view. Still, whatever one may say, a girl’s body from approximately 21 to 29 years of age is most adapted to conception, pregnancy and childbirth.

The tissues are elastic, genetic damage has not yet accumulated in the eggs, although a lot depends on lifestyle and bad habits. Most likely, there are fewer chronic diseases, but this is not always a matter of age.

And the health of the current young generation is a big problem. At this stage of our reasoning, we can already conclude that what is primarily important is not the passport age, but the biological age of a woman.

It is clear that at 60 years old the body will not correspond to that of a 20-year-old, but some women at 30-40 years old can maintain better health than some representatives of a younger age. By the way, why are we all talking about expectant mothers?

Of course, a man does not have to carry his long-awaited treasure for 9 months, and he can become a father at almost any age. Even if we are talking about IVF, he, of course, takes part in the birth of the child.

And as men age, they may also have problems producing genetically healthy sperm. But young people can also have problems. Therefore, again about the same thing - it’s not only about the number of years lived, and the state of health, and the attitude towards it.

Late children and their health|L'âge du père et la santé de l'enfant

It is interesting that previously doctors paid main attention to the age of mothers: the older the woman, the higher the risk of fetal malformations, miscarriages, etc. It turns out that the age of the future father plays an important role in this issue. After all, biologically every man is capable of producing offspring as long as he remains fertile. There are known cases of the appearance of offspring in elderly men - such elders were over 70 and over 80. But is it worth relying on nature, devoting all of yourself in your youth to study, career, ambitions, or is it still worth listening to the opinion of doctors? The influence of paternal age on offspring health was the subject of two studies, one conducted in Sweden and the other in Denmark. In the first case, the authors concluded that for a child whose father has crossed the 45-year mark, the risk of becoming autistic increases by 3.5 times, such children are 13 times more likely to suffer from hyperactivity, and 24 times more likely to suffer from bipolar disorder. Scientists obtained these data after studying the medical records of 2.6 million Swedes born between 1973 and 2001. Another study was conducted by doctors in Copenhagen who wanted to know the fate of children born in Denmark in 1978-2004. The results showed that children conceived by their fathers between the ages of 40 and 44 had a 10% greater risk of childhood mortality (due to birth defects or forms of cancer) than those whose fathers conceived them between the ages of 30 and 34. . If the father was 45 years old, the risk increased by 16%. In light of new scientific evidence, it may be necessary to take a new look at both the health and age of sperm donors. Official recommendations do not set age limits for donors either in Switzerland, or in Europe, or in the United States, Dorothea Wunder, head of the department of reproductive medicine at the University Hospital Center of the Canton of Vaud (CHUV), emphasized in an interview with Le Matin newspaper. The data from scientific research conducted in Scandinavia did not come as a surprise to her: “Over the past ten years, publications have appeared indicating a connection between paternal age and autism, as well as schizophrenia and trisomy (a chromosomal pathology that often causes Down syndrome and other diseases - NG) in a child." However, those who wish to donate to the sperm bank at CHUV should remember that they can do so until they are 50 years old. The head of the bank, Sebastien Adamski, noted that the age of most of the men who come to them ranges from 25 to 35 years. It is curious that this is not the first time this problem has been discussed. More than a century ago, German gynecologist Wilhelm Weinberg suggested that a father's age could affect the health of his offspring. Having extensive practice, Weinberg noticed that in large families (and these were the majority in his time), younger children more often suffered from forms of dwarfism than older ones. This genetic disease awaits those whose father celebrated his 45th birthday, and the age of the mother does not matter. Dorothea Wunder also emphasized that in the case of premature birth, the age of the father plays an important role, and not just the age of the mother, as was previously thought. If a father passes the same 45-year barrier, the risk of miscarriage triples. Doctors have found the causes of children's health problems in genes. If the future mother lays the foundation for the formation of eggs at a very early age, then the man constantly produces sperm throughout his life. “And the older he gets, the more often errors in copying his DNA in new sperm occur,” emphasized Sebastien Jacquemont, an employee of the CHUV department of medical genetics. Thanks to scientific progress, today it is increasingly easier to correlate mutations that occur when male and female germ cells merge with changes present in the child’s genome. Of course, such news does not lift the mood, and in order not to end on a minor note, we will cite the words of Dorothea Wunder that science knows examples when children of mothers who reached a more mature age suffered less from involuntary bruises and wounds, and were less likely to end up in hospital, tolerated vaccinations better and mastered their native language faster. And if the father is not young, but experienced, then his relationship with the child can become even deeper and more interesting. In Switzerland, where men who have reached retirement age often become fathers, these words really sound like a balm for the soul.

Pros and cons of late children

pros

The decision to give birth was made consciously.
Often a woman is confident in the support of her family, regardless of whether this is her first child or not. Perhaps the marriage itself is not the first or even the second, but it gives hope for the stability of a conscious relationship. Then there may be a mutual desire to raise a common child, even if both spouses have children from previous marriages.
The pregnancy was planned, they were preparing for it. Perhaps they were treated, and even for a long time. But finally, the coveted two stripes, the gynecologist confirmed the pregnancy. Now you need to observe, follow all the recommendations and set yourself up only for the good.
Most likely, future parents have developed a mature adult psychology, and youthful carelessness and recklessness are a thing of the past.
Probably, there is not only rich life experience, but also a certain material base. This will ensure the upbringing of the child and his full, comprehensive development. Late children are not necessarily geniuses, and there is no need to demand this from them. And they are often smart because they are given more attention, more work is done with them, thereby shaping the psyche and intellect.

Minuses

Mom and dad are more likely to have chronic diseases, bad habits, and previous infections, including sexually transmitted infections.
The statistics are inexorable - the older the mother, the higher the risk of having a child with Down syndrome. This is true, but early diagnosis of this disease is now available, and it is up to you to continue such a pregnancy, as with any other severe fetal pathology.
In older mothers, labor may be more difficult and the risk of developing hypoxia in the fetus is higher. Therefore, childbirth is most often performed by caesarean section, but there must be certain indications for it. The doctor decides which ones and explains them to you. And this is an assessment of the condition of the mother and child, and not an age figure as such. And after 40, and even after 45 years, women can give birth themselves.
Caring for a baby can be more difficult than it would be at a younger age.
There is less chance of help from grandparents - both due to their age and, sadly, due to the fact that your child may not find them alive.

The better informed you are, the more informed decision you can make about having a late child.

There is no need to blindly follow the example of celebrity parents, for whom late children are the norm, but still, the trend of late marriages and the birth of children that came from the West shows us that you can become parents at almost any age.

And this can prolong your life, because it will be a huge incentive, because children need to be raised, and it is very desirable to see grandchildren, or even great-grandchildren. Why not?

Today we have discussed the pros and cons of having late children. If you liked the article, recommend it to your friends. Also don’t forget to subscribe to blog updates. We are waiting for you a lot of interesting things, don’t miss it.

See you soon, dear friends. And with you was Ekaterina Chesnakova with garlic, pepper and zest.

Why rush?

According to Rosstat, a little more than a million marriages were registered in the country the year before. At the same time, recently the age of newlyweds has become noticeably older: young people increasingly prefer to start family life from 25 to 34 years.

Economic reasons now come to the fore when concluding a marriage. The old saying “with a darling is paradise and in a hut” is completely outdated. Both girls and boys want, first of all, to take care of their education, professional career and solid income. Modern standards require - at least in large cities - a consistently decent income in order to be fashionably dressed, have a car (even a used one), and travel. And also so that, having given birth to a child, you don’t find yourself in the position of people who can barely make ends meet and are forced to limit themselves in everything.

The custom of the second half of the last century, when young people, getting married soon after graduating from school (18 years old) or university (22-23 years old) and immediately giving birth to a child, relied on the financial assistance of their parents, or even grandparents, is becoming less and less common today. And if such a dependence does exist, it is usually much less than in Soviet times. This is explained not only and not so much by the desire of young people for independence, but by the fact that older generations are often, to put it mildly, not rich. The reason for this is, firstly, the economic crisis of 2008, which has not yet ended, because of which the real incomes of the majority of Russians are still constantly declining, and, secondly, the recent decision of the authorities to raise the retirement age, which forced those who over 50, think more seriously about your not-so-distant future.

Nowadays, few people in Russia consider premarital affairs - both boys and girls - to be something terrible. Many young people live with each other without formalizing their relationship in any way, and openly, at home with his or her parents, and neither the children nor the parents are ostracized by their neighbors.

Another reason is mental. Nowadays, few people in Russia consider premarital affairs - both boys and girls - as something terrible, capable of distorting a young destiny. Many young people live with each other without formalizing their relationship in any way, and openly, at home with his or her parents, and neither the children nor the parents are ostracized by their neighbors.

And finally, third. Living with parents as an unofficial family is considered not shameful. But if the family is official, you need to have your own roof over your head. However, real estate - again, especially in big cities - is very expensive, sometimes unreasonably expensive, and, without a solid income, getting into a mortgage with its crazy interest rates is like death for most very young children.

By the way, some men, even at 30 and 40 years old, do not take their chosen one to the registry office only because they do not have their own home or a decent guaranteed income that would allow them to count on a mortgage.

Photo source: shutterstock.com

The theory of genius of late children

Photo: Ivette Ivens

In recent years, the number of “late” children has increased. According to statistics, the percentage of women who decide to have their first child after 35 years of age has doubled. For the first time, stars such as Jodie Foster, Monica Bellucci, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek and others felt the joy of motherhood in adulthood.

Many women follow the example of star mothers. After all, today it is common to first build a career, and then think about having a child. And this situation worries doctors very much.

From a medical point of view, the best age for the birth of your first child is the period from 22 to 28 years. Women in this age group are in better health, so the risk of having a sick child is minimal.

However, there is an opinion that among children born to mature mothers there are more talented and brilliant people. Examples of this are Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Marshal Zhukov and many other successful individuals.

The theory about the genius of late children was also confirmed by British scientists. So, in 2012, a group of researchers from London analyzed the level of intellectual development of several thousand babies born to mothers of different ages.

Scientists have concluded that children born to women over 40 have a higher IQ compared to their peers born to young mothers.

Late children have a rich vocabulary, are distinguished by logical thinking, read well and, most interestingly, are less likely to suffer from excess weight.

This early development has understandable reasons. The fact is that mature women approach motherhood and raising children more responsibly.

They begin to plan their pregnancy in advance, give up bad habits and poor nutrition, protect the nervous system and thereby lay a solid foundation for the full development of the future heir.

Children for such women are a long-awaited treasure, so 40-year-old mothers try their best to ensure that the baby grows up to be a successful person. Therefore, late babies are more intelligent, well-read and talkative than their “early” peers.

Young women have no life experience and cannot, and often do not want, to think about the development of their child. And those mothers, who were disparagingly called “old-timers” during the Soviet Union, can give their baby twice as much care as young parents.

In addition, according to child psychologists, babies born to mature mothers are distinguished by a stable psyche, calm character and are better adapted to life.

CHILDREN PARENTS FAMILY AGE

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Late kids are spoiled

It’s hard to disagree with this. And if mature parents find the strength to behave correctly with their baby, then how can they demand that older brothers and sisters be more restrained with their pet, baby, or tiny little one? For them, a brother or sister is a living doll that they can sew on, knit, and play with. To be honest, late children often grow up to be selfish people whose loved ones you won’t envy.

Photo from personal archive. On the first one are my eldest daughters Olesya and Ksyusha, son Denis (in a Panama hat) and neighbor, on the second - Ksenia and Deniska.

But thanks to these same games, for example, going to school, kids quickly acquire various skills. And just by watching how the elders do their homework, carry out some errands around the house, a late child receives a lot. Therefore, younger children are often more adapted to life than the first children born to young parents.

Disadvantages of pregnancy after 35 years

In adulthood, there is an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy, chromosomal disorders in the child, and the transmission of numerous chronic diseases of the parents to the child.

It is no secret that among children with Down syndrome, about 70% were born to mothers in adulthood.

At the same time, it does not matter at all what kind of pregnancy a mature mother has; problems with the baby’s health can occur both during the first late pregnancy and during subsequent ones that occur after 35 years.

Complications during pregnancy and childbirth are also more common after thirty. At this age, the necessary hormones are often not produced in the required quantities, pregnancy is more difficult, and tissues undergo age-related changes and do not have the same elasticity.

The most common problems faced by mature mothers during pregnancy and childbirth are:

prematurity of the fetus,
post-term pregnancy,
weak labor activity,
oxygen starvation of the fetus,
early discharge of amniotic fluid,
late toxicosis (gestosis),
C-section.

Pregnant women over 35 years of age have many times more indications for a cesarean section than younger women. This is due to the loss of elasticity in tissues and joints, which is necessary for good labor, complete opening of the birth canal, and passage of the child through the birth canal. Recovery after childbirth also takes much longer than for young women in labor.