Consequences of dating a married man

How to become the best lover of a married man - psychology

If you are also interested in this issue, then you first need to conduct a little research. Watch your husband, try to follow his conversation. Also use our following tips on how to recognize that your husband has a mistress:

Wallet. First, check his wallet in secret from your husband. Perhaps in it you will find a condom that your husband saved for the future, a note or a receipt from a restaurant or store in which the purchase of wine is listed. Each of these pieces of evidence will help you expose your spouse.
Mobile phone. If your spouse goes into the next room every time he calls, always puts his mobile handset on silent mode, and keeps his mobile phone only near him, then you should check his phone numbers, messages or photos. As a rule, men record their mistresses under a completely different name, for example, “Vasya office.” You need to take note of such names. Perhaps this will be a girl with whom your spouse is hanging out on the side.

We married for love, being students, always hungry, but happy. We got on our feet together, started earning money, decided to have a child, and then my wife never returned from maternity leave. This suited me - I hardly cared about the house and my son, my wife took care of all the issues. My role is to bring money plus be with my family whenever possible.

He just came to me to drink coffee and talk. I then thought that I didn’t love him, I just felt good with him, I felt protected with him and not alone! From him I learned that he had liked me for a long time and that he had been watching me and my life for a long time. The age difference between him and me is 11 years.

It’s not uncommon for a man to turn a girl’s head but keep silent about her marital status. When this fact becomes clear, she is already in love and cannot leave her beloved, becoming a hostage to the situation. The girl begins to feel inner dissatisfaction with her position as a mistress, which seems humiliating to her.

A married man loves his mistress: signs

Many wives are concerned about the question “Do their spouses have a mistress on the side {q}.”
Statistics show that in 8 out of 10 cases, husbands cheat on their significant other. And there is no way to avoid this. A woman only has to use these options:

close your eyes to this
get a divorce
save your own family and strengthen your marriage

Whether it is worth forgiving the betrayal of a spouse is something the woman herself must decide. However, before you clearly change anything, you need to decide whether to know the truth or continue to live peacefully, not create scandals and leave everything as it was before.

If you are also interested in this issue, then you first need to conduct a little research. Watch your husband, try to follow his conversation. Also use our following tips on how to recognize that your husband has a mistress:

Wallet. First, check his wallet in secret from your husband. Perhaps in it you will find a condom that your husband saved for the future, a note or a receipt from a restaurant or store in which the purchase of wine is listed. Each of these pieces of evidence will help you expose your spouse.
Mobile phone. If your spouse goes into the next room every time he calls, always puts his mobile handset on silent mode, and keeps his mobile phone only near him, then you should check his phone numbers, messages or photos. As a rule, men record their mistresses under a completely different name, for example, “Vasya office.” You need to take note of such names. Perhaps this will be a girl with whom your spouse is hanging out on the side.

Check the man's phone

Underwear. If your spouse has been choosing underwear for himself for a long time, trying to wear something sexy and beautiful, then you should do one experiment - give your husband torn socks. If he doesn't want to put them on, then there's something wrong here. Most likely, your husband is cheating on you and plans to take off his shoes outside the home.
Alcohol. Have you noticed that your spouse often returns from work a little drunk, even though he has never drank alcohol before? {q} As a rule, men try to mask a woman’s foreign smell in this way.

Why do men have mistresses?

Perfume. Arriving home, they immediately lock themselves in the bathroom and spray themselves with eau de toilette, thereby hiding the smell of their mistress’s perfume. Believe me, this indicates that your husband has someone on his side.
Cloth. Try to periodically monitor your spouse’s clothes: whether he came home after work wearing his underpants or socks inside out, whether the fly on his trousers is unbuttoned, whether his belt is fastened correctly. Or maybe there is a lipstick mark on his shirt.

Check your loved one's social network

Social network. Keep track of who your husband communicates with on the Internet, you can even install spy software that will become your faithful assistant.

The concept of “love” has different meanings for men and women. For women, love is fidelity, devotion, inspiration and care for a loved one.

For men, love is primarily a sexual relationship. Can a husband have sex with both his mistress and his wife{q} Of course, yes.

A man loves to feel like a sultan

Sometimes he even actively strives for this. This may not always mean that every representative of the stronger half cheats, whether for a reason or without a reason.

We suggest you read: How to remove the seizure of an apartment by bailiffs

As for jealousy, every man does not like it when another man claims his property. After all, a sense of ownership and jealousy is inherent in every man. They love to feel like a “sultan” in a harem, in which both the wife and the mistress are concubines.

You can understand very simply that a husband has fallen in love with his mistress if you follow his behavior, gestures, words and actions. A married man, of course, will take care of himself, since only a bachelor has no barriers to showing attention.

A man in love

The following signs will help you guess that a man has fallen in love with his mistress:

He will not be able to resist touching the one he loves. Even if it happens completely by accident.
If a man falls in love with a woman who works in the same office as him, he will constantly offer her his own help, for example, he will give her a ride home.
He will be interested in everything that concerns his mistress: what she eats, what flowers she likes, where she likes to spend her free time, and so on.
He will shower her with expensive gifts.

Psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress

That is, a married father is obliged to register his illegitimate child in the registry office in his name. Help the mother of your child with the preparation of other documents, if necessary, register your child (or at least arrange temporary registration for him). That is, to ensure that his illegitimate child is not disadvantaged in the right to education and medical care in relation to his children in marriage.

An experienced mistress knows that men do not accept commercialism, so she knows how to play in contrast. This is a very effective method. The author still shocks gentlemen by not allowing them to pay for themselves. At first, they are at a loss, wondering if they have hit on a feminist, but then they gladly call for a second date, because they realize that she will not require large investments.

Every woman who is in an intimate relationship with him runs the risk of becoming pregnant from someone else's husband. She must choose for herself whether to keep the child or have an abortion. Will my mother be able to provide for herself financially if she receives a refusal from her lover? Will the baby have a full-fledged family? This decision is not easy to make. You also need to decide whether it is generally necessary to inform your loved one about the upcoming event or not.

As practice shows, the majority of the stronger sex runs to their mistress, trying to hide from family problems. Even ideal wives who love and support their husbands, they manage to cheat, which causes complete misunderstanding on the part of the ladies. After all, it would seem, why do men need a mistress when he is completely satisfied at home?

Psychology of the connection between a married man and his mistress

Have you noticed that your spouse often returns from work a little drunk, even though he has never drank alcohol before?

For a conversation, it is advisable to choose a place where no one will interfere. Don't start a conversation:

With reproaches and accusations of getting pregnant.
Don’t put any moral pressure, because no one promised anything.
Don't rush, give it time. The gentleman needs to think about what to do next.

Every representative of the fair sex wants to create a full-fledged family, but she also needs to be prepared for bad developments.

When the wife can't handle it, the man finds a woman who can console/understand/caress/surprise the way he did months or years ago.

How to change from a mistress to a wife: a comment from a psychologist

Women are indignant: why do men need mistresses if they have an affectionate and caring wife? Many men take on a woman on the side, even if everything is great at home. How can we explain male inconstancy and why do husbands need relationships on the side?

I sincerely sympathize with those girls who, for various life reasons, agreed to a relationship with a married man, especially if he is their first love. Unaware of how such an affair can turn out, many women lose their best years in damaged relationships. It is truly sad to fall in love with a married man and willingly accept the role of a secret woman.

It happens that a girl meets a man, sympathy arises, but the object is not free. The further development of the story depends on the woman’s choice: the girl either abandons her lover or continues the relationship with him.

I advise women who come with the request “I want to end my relationship with a married man,” and I treat them with understanding. And I’ll tell you honestly, they all turn up in a broken state - loss of strength, lack of faith in the best, moral exhaustion, depression.

When agreeing to the role of a mistress, you need to understand that your loved one will also belong to his wife and children. A lover will never be completely yours. Husbands rarely leave their families because of their passions. But if you easily left your spouse, it’s worth thinking about the fact that once you become a spouse, you may soon find yourself in the place of your ex-wife.

The wife and mistress are always on opposite sides of the barricades, but when there is heavy artillery in the form of a child, what to do?

Possible consequences if you are the mistress of a married man

Being a lover is easy only when you are a self-sufficient woman who enjoys extreme adventures and sex, and also tries not to fall in love with her partners. But it’s difficult for a woman’s nature not to fall in love with someone you sleep with and who treats you with tenderness and understanding. This is the rub.

Being the mistress of the man you love is the worst thing! This is a clear path to a nervous breakdown, because jealousy and hope for a happy outcome are depressing. Alas, men are often not ready to leave their family and cozy nest, preferring to keep their mistress close to them.

As a result, we have to count on three scenarios:

He leaves his wife, and you start your own family (unlikely - 10%).
He leaves you, preferring family warmth and stability (65% probability).
He drags out the relationship, and you date until your wife finds out about the relationship (25% chance).

Next, it all depends on the man’s true relationship to you!

If he loves you, he will leave his wife.

In all other options, it is you who will have to leave the love triangle.

Your wife will most likely do everything she can to make your life hard for at least some time. It will be difficult to survive the betrayal of a loved one and the onslaught from his official other half. This is one of the reasons why psychologists recommend not communicating with your lover’s missus and keeping your relationship a secret.

Does a woman have the moral right to give birth to a married man?

I even deleted his phone number. HE called and wrote SMS, but I simply threw him out of my life - I felt sorry for his children, but, it turns out, I didn’t feel sorry for my son! My son and I now live together in a large apartment. Of course, maternity benefits are not enough, but the child does not need anything, I am ready to do everything for him!

Psychology gives several reasons why spouses decide to have a mistress:

Sexual dissatisfaction. As a rule, men's desires in this regard differ significantly from women's desires. After all, for them intimate relationships are considered an important process. But for women and girls, sex is not so important. It may even be at the bottom of the priority list.
In addition, constant fatigue from household chores also does not always cause sexual desire in women. In this regard, the mistress is considered a competitor for the wife and a very serious one. Dissatisfaction with sex and being busy can lead to the husband finding joy at work.

This was 5 years ago. After the loss of my loved one, I couldn’t look at other men at all for 2 years, although I always had enough fans!!! After some time, I met a young man who treated me well, but my relationship with him did not work out - I always compared him with my deceased husband, although I understood that this was not correct.

Hence, some girls will be desperate, others will use their pregnancy as a last resort to either force a man to marry themselves or leave the family.

Why married men prefer married mistresses

Moreover, regardless of whether he wants it or not: women most often do not ask such men, or act against their will. Which also influences the high male mortality rate: for most married men, the understanding that their illegitimate child is growing up somewhere is a factor that increases the risk of depression, strokes, heart attacks, etc.

They don’t always take a mistress just for sex; more often men get bored with their wife, they want bright emotions that have faded (from the word “rotten”). And it is not surprising that when a man and woman start a family, they forget over time that love needs to be maintained, that it is constant mutual work. The territory of relationships is a place where you cannot be lazy.

It can be really difficult for many women to believe the fact that their marital problems have gone so far that the man has (or will soon have) a child on his side. However, the fact is that in this case the problem often lies with the woman. A man will not have a child on the side if he cheated for fun or to seek new sensations.

In the end, probably, the baby himself, when he gets older, will want to find out who his real father is and find him. In any case, there are many factors that can reveal to the wife of a traitor the fact of having a child on the side.

Whenever the fact that the husband has a child from his mistress is revealed, the wife of such a womanizer will inevitably ask the question, “What to do next?” A woman will have to make a decision based on her feelings. She needs to decide: a) whether it is possible to save the marriage; b) is she ready for forgiveness; c) how she feels about the child from her husband’s mistress.

The mistress’s task is to replace his wife and prove that she is the best and most ideal. But what should you not do if you want to maintain a good relationship? What mistakes should you not make?

In conclusion, to all of the above, I would like to add that any woman who is concerned about the question: “How to become a good lover?” should learn to be silent and listen more, and prefer languid sighs to boring phrases and moralizing. Also, one should not forget about a well-groomed appearance (stylish hairstyle, lace lingerie, stockings, high-heeled shoes).

Many wives are ready to put up with their husband's betrayal, so it is not so easy to provoke her to break up. A man sooner or later realizes that his mistress has gone too far, and his marriage is hanging by a thread. If you don’t want to lose your loved one, forget about the existence of his wife.

husband fell in love with his mistress

At the age of 17, I fell in love with a man, about 27 years old. But he was perfect, except that when he kissed me, he told me that he was married and had a small child. Of course, the wife is bad, she walks around, etc. Well, who can say that by kissing you he continues to love his wife?

And then, at the age of 17, despite my sociability and permissiveness, I thought deeply!

1. Yes, I would like such a husband. Does he need a wife? He has a wife! And even during a divorce, why should he go through the same rake? After all, I’m not a gift either, and I want children, but why does he need the same path again? After all, he married for the first time not under the bullet of a pistol, but out of love and desire.

2. I'm a terrible owner! And I never wanted to share a man with a child!!!! To which he is obliged, but I am not.

3. An ex-wife - she does not always disappear into the abyss after a divorce, especially since there is a child who will be the reason for communication, meetings, memories with his wife.

My heart was breaking, he called, I was silent and did not get in touch for a long time.

About 7 years later they told me that everything had worked out with his wife, they had given birth to a second child and no one was hanging out, but he said hello to me. I'm glad if everything worked out!

And to this day, if I see him in a photo, my heart beats faster, perhaps out of happiness that I didn’t get into trouble.

In 2014, my five friends' lives turned upside down! Strange year! It was in the second half of the year that wives and mistresses suddenly crawled out or disappeared. Or rather, the mistresses attacked. Maybe they read some horoscope that it was time to act?

It’s scary, all my friends are close to my heart. I was simply scalded by boiling water from turning!

One friend had someone else’s husband who lived and lived, but still returned to the family, the friend gave a kick for being a pig in the household. As it turned out, while he was shitting and not letting it down, he was eating and everything fell on the floor, he was scattering his wife’s socks everywhere, and he ran to his friend under the blanket to arrange everything, but when her house (his mistresses) was dirty, it turned out to be unnecessary. But things got better with my wife, maybe I realized that if I don’t spoil myself, things will be fine with my wife? And the wife put up with it, cleaned it up, but her mistress gave it all away.

Someone's man started running from his mistress to his wife's bed.

Someone has a swing.

Someone's husband stayed with his mistress, but scandals are frequent.

And my friends were divided. Some are now mistresses, others are wives.

It's strange that both suffer.

True, men are the most ecstatic in this situation.

But what am I talking about?

Girls, we often speak frankly here. Are there any former lovers among you? Is that how it turned out? Are you separated? Stayed with your wife? Left for someone else? Or do you have a family?

True, I understand that before children this is a slightly different turn, I left my wife and forgot. And when there is a child... When she took her away from the family with the child? He still owes birthdays, gifts, alimony, is he sad?

How did it turn out?

My husband says that there will never be a second time during this rake (wedding). Although he only now saw from the example of all his girlfriends that sooner or later lovers want a family and children... And everything is the same as it was with the first wife. And again, the wife doesn’t like the sock under the pillow, the dental tube squeezed out first and accumulated at the end, the late arrival... (To each their own).

Where do lovers go? Or do they stay? what's next?

Is a relationship with a married man doomed or is there a chance?

Married men really look very attractive, they are well-groomed, confident and quite happy with life. Imagine, this is exactly what a single man should be like – confident and self-sufficient. But single people are not like that, right? That's why they don't attract.

As for what doesn’t bring you home, some people don’t even drive when they’re single, especially if they live with their parents (let’s say the first year of dating).

How men imagine an ideal wife:

she is an excellent cook;
maintains order in the house;
deftly manages and raises children;
she deifies her husband and never “nags” him in vain.

What is decent? He took the child from the girl’s family and does not allow him to see him. It doesn’t matter that the child has never seen him in 3 years, but his grandmother and aunt have been with him since birth. I don’t care that the baby lost his mother, and the mother lost her daughter, I don’t care that the wife hates the boy...

Consequences of a relationship with a married man in the very near future

At first everything will be simply amazing. The guy is ready to kiss your hands and feet, constantly whisper about love, give gifts and cajole you with a story about how you will celebrate some important holiday together, in a common house. He does this to “glue” you to himself more tightly, and also to convince himself that he is doing everything right.

There are two types of men who enter into a long-term relationship with their mistress:

Gentle romantics who want to find a new object of love and inspiration.
Lovelaces, thus proving their superiority. They need to be expected at any moment, desired with all body and soul. They love few people except themselves, so sometimes they even have several mistresses.

Relationships with the first type are pleasant, and if the wife does not find out about them, they will have only positive consequences. And an extramarital union with a second one will only bring tears and nerves, and in the near future. You shouldn’t rely on such people, although it’s especially easy to fall in love with them, because girls adore “bad boys.”

Try to realize as quickly as possible who you are dealing with. But you shouldn’t give all of yourself to the ladies’ man; only separation will be the best solution for both.

Why do married men need mistresses?

Many women try their best to keep their loved one near them, so they regularly check his things, read his messages and monitor him. If a married man has started a relationship with you, there is a high chance that he has chosen freedom of action.

After all, as a rule, at this age men have a girl on their side and not everyone is able to resist something new, bright and colorful sensations. Let's figure out together why men have mistresses and how to continue to live with it.

Regularly working with these situations, as a family psychologist, I am obliged to have a clear position on the entire range of related issues. I am not imposing it on anyone, and will simply inform my readers about it, as it may be useful to you.

With a “married man” everything is different. By getting married, a person takes on certain obligations, violation of which is fraught with condemnation and loss of reputation as an exemplary family man. Therefore, such men deliberately take on mistresses and carefully hide their extramarital affairs.

And so it turns out: my wife and I are like neighbors, don’t worry, dear. It’s just that we have a joint car loan, and she cooks deliciously and we live in her parents’ apartment... but I want a child with you, you are my beloved.

An affair with a married man can linger in a woman’s memory for the rest of her life. This is the memory of a relationship where you wanted a person who was not yours. An affair with a captive man only at first gives positive emotions, some joy and impressions.

Is having an affair between unfree people a sin?

If you look from the point of view of biblical laws, then the connection between unfree people is a real sin!

Everyone remembers the commandment: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.”

In some religions you can find references to the fact that dating a married man is not a sin. In Islam, for example, polygamy is allowed. But little is said about relationships with a married woman and always negatively. A girl must maintain comfort in the house, remain a good wife and mother, and also be faithful to her husband in all situations. Cheating on your husband is punishable by death in some countries.

In a civilized society, this, of course, does not happen, but cheating on your wife is still more acceptable. It is believed that guys are polygamous by nature, and for girls, banal promiscuity plays a role.

In the emancipated world, they are trying to equalize these rights, but on a subconscious level, the love affair of unfree people is still condemned.