How to choose the right man. Important! Science has proven that our female DNA does not have a built-in algorithm for searching and choosing a partner. This is very difficult for women. We do not have enough strength, energy, or determination. Therefore, describing a portrait of the man of your dreams is simply meaningless for women. This is more of a masculine linear way. Men know what kind of woman they want to see next to them and what kind of woman they want to see as the mother of their children, so that their genetics will be embodied in the best possible way.
We have a different task, from a biological point of view. We need to choose a partner with whom we would feel safe for ourselves and our offspring. And from this point of view, it is clear why love was conceived by nature. It's like a woman's way of tying a man down for a better life for her children.
Of course, in the modern world, when quite a lot of women are able to take care of themselves, their children, and even men, this seems unnecessary. But, from the point of view of physiology and biology, there are no changes at all. We are the same as we were hundreds of thousands of years ago. And we are controlled by the same instincts, which evolve more slowly than the world changes. Every woman is endowed by nature with a simply ingenious solution that allows her and her offspring to adapt to external conditions.
How to choose the right man. We do not search and do not choose. We sift and filter.
That is, our thinking is structured in such a way that when we look at a man, we think not about how to give him away faster, but about what he has in him to refuse him. Therefore, all ideas on HOW TO CHOOSE A MAN RIGHT and hunting for men are contrary to nature itself and cause neuroses in women. The very path of femininity is to simply be attractive to men and have a choice.
Just think how ingenious and natural this is! And our critical look at men is exactly the right process.
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You look and think, “What’s wrong with him? Why should I be with him? What defects and shortcomings does it have? “Do I want him just because I’m ovulating? Or do I like it on other days too? ;)" And only then, understanding the whole objective picture, understanding and seeing a man as he is, you ask yourself, "And given all this, do I want to give him up? Do I want to entrust myself and my offspring to him?”
This, by the way, is characteristic not only of women; many animals’ s@mki filter out s@m’s in the same way. It’s clear that only after a man has passed all the tests of your “filtering” are you ready to trust him. Moreover, these tests can take place both at a conscious and, most likely, at an unconscious level. Once he has shown his readiness, you let him into your life.
This was all from the point of view of biology and physiology. But you and I are social and conscious creatures. Therefore, many different components intervene in natural selection. And the choice of women is very much biased in favor of the social. A huge number of women come to me precisely with the desire to marry a wealthy and successful man. The very idea of marrying a rich man seems to fit into the general system of security and survival of the family.
BUT…
There is indeed a very strong “but” in the criteria and choice of this particular path. I’m not talking about women from the “cute and heaven in the hut” category and for whom it is enough that he “doesn’t drink or beat.” I understand perfectly well that women’s ambitions are a natural process of development, both for a woman and for her man. Therefore, many see the result of satisfaction in the search for a wealthy partner.
I have been convinced more than a hundred times that this is almost always a losing option.
How many times do I hear similar stories, when a man meets a woman in a luxury Lexus or a luxury Mercedes, they have sex right in the same car, and then it turns out that it’s a car on credit or the boss’s. And marriage, because the man has a house, which, as it turned out later, is the house of his older brother. And a luxurious apartment, expensive gifts, and then it turns out that the person is superficial, he always has a new woman, and an emptiness sets in, in which you understand that you will never be the only one for him.
How to choose the right guy
To be happy in a relationship, a woman needs to be able to choose the right men with whom you will then build these same relationships. How can a woman who is almost burning, or rather floating, with passion, not make a mistake in her choice. After all, a man for life and a man for sex for one time is such a big difference that mom, don’t worry... Let’s focus on long-term long-term plans. You need to choose a man for life wisely, foreseeing in advance the consequences of your choice.
The most important advice that I tirelessly repeat to women at every step is
to keep your brain on .
I understand that keeping them, the brains, in a working state, when all the blood has shifted to the lower abdomen, is quite difficult. It is even more difficult to turn them on when there is close physical contact. Therefore... While you, dear women, have not yet had time to fall for his bait and succumb to his charm, conduct a small test to determine the man’s suitability for a relationship. If the test result is positive, relax, become languid, moist, in love... If the result is negative, quickly disappear from the sight of this man with minimal consequences for yourself. God forbid you bombard a man with direct questions. Do not interrogate him with bias, it is absolutely useless. Men are sophisticated people and can easily mislead you. It is better to resort to covert information collection tactics. This way you will find out the truth quickly and with minimal consequences for yourself.
How to find out this terrible truth about a man? Ask, ask, ask! A man will be happy to tell you a lot about himself. Better yet, observe and ask. And you can draw your own conclusions, dear women.
Your favorite sport will tell you what kind of relationships a man prefers and how he behaves in them. Single athletes (runners, swimmers, gymnasts, jumpers, throwers of something) diligently protect their privacy. They avoid noisy companies and value themselves and their achievements. Are you ready to become his lifelong support group? Representatives of team sports are active and enjoy the spirit of competition. Are you ready for competition in family life? Moreover, you can’t even expect any discounts “for pregnancy”, “the weaker sex” and others.
Ask the man about his friends. If he went to school with his friends, be prepared to “prove” for a long time that you are trustworthy. If you are accepted into your inner circle, you will be in it for the rest of your life. True, deviations from the rules will also be asked very harshly. If your man has more buddies (not friends) than his telephone address book can accommodate, he will not be lost anywhere. For himself, he will always find a cup of tea, a bowl of soup and a place to stay for the night. But it’s not a fact that they will be offered to you too. If you want reliability and a long-term relationship, look for a sociable man with a bunch of friends and a narrow circle of friends.
A man's attitude towards life and gambling. If a man is so optimistic about the future that he doesn’t see the dangers in the present, don’t expect him to solve small everyday problems and bring money for food... He has no time for that. For a pessimist, you will be an eternal nanny or snot wiper. A gambler may one day leave you without money and a roof over your head. And he can make you a wealthy woman in one day. Are you ready to take risks? A heavy smoker, as a rule, is nervous and fickle, he is tormented by doubts or outbursts of irritation. If a man is timid when sober, and after a couple of drinks the state of “Ostap got carried away” sets in, you will get a domestic despot or a quiet alcoholic at home, depending on your behavior.
A man's attitude towards money. A man who prefers to pay in cash is confident in himself and clearly goes towards his goal. He is confident and will not shy away from difficulties. If he pays in cash, but takes it out after everyone else... you have a person who sometimes likes to “carry heat with the wrong hands.” And these hands can sometimes be yours. If a man has a prestigious (gold, platinum, etc.) credit card and he uses it willingly, this man knows what he wants and is used to getting it. If for some reason a man regularly doesn’t have money in your presence... I think you understand that he needs to be quickly sent away.
How a man drives a car. If he manages to curse, comment on the driving style of all drivers on the road and supplement his words with gestures, you have a man with a high level of aggressiveness. If the driving mode is ragged, doesn’t let anyone through or tries to cut you off, know that this man will achieve his goal by any means, even not always honest ones. If your man, even next to such drivers on the road, remains in a good mood and calm, drives the car smoothly and without jerking, he will resolve all difficult issues peacefully in life and take into account the opinions of all participants in the situation.
How a man prefers to communicate with you. If your man prefers to communicate via ICQ, Skype, SMS and other types of quick messages, he strives to always keep you in the quick access zone. He needs your attention and instant responses. If he emails you without quickly texting you, this man is used to being in control of his words and actions. For him, the editing function is pathologically important in order to control the impression he makes. If a man calls and willingly talks to you on the phone for a long time, he is a little old-fashioned in habit, but he is open and not afraid of direct questions. And also... it is very important for him to feel your mood and hear your voice.
That a man is eating in a restaurant. So what does food have to do with it? It also says a lot about a man. If in a restaurant a man orders traditional, hearty dishes of national cuisine, there is a reliable and predictable man next to you. Yes, he is a little slow in expressing his passionate impulses. But in bed, as a rule, he has complete order, although without any special frills. If your man is a gourmet and lover of exotic dishes, he may be spontaneous in his decisions. And one more thing... consistency is definitely not his key quality. In bed, such men are skilled, but do not expect “delicacies” every day - they are on holidays.
Ask a man what kind of child he is in the family. If he is the eldest, he has already become a habit of being responsible for others. The youngest child in the family is usually slightly willful and has creative inclinations. The middle child often feels the need for attention and care. If your man is the only child in the family and was raised only by his mother, be prepared for a serious “battle” - his mother will not give up her man to you so easily.
Neatness is rarely included in the list of masculine qualities. In order not to sin against men, I’ll tell you honestly - don’t confuse messiness, love of order and pedantry. If dirty socks are lying around all corners of the apartment, get ready to be the nanny of an adult boy or an outright lazy person. If a man knows how to put dirty clothes in a laundry basket, say a sincere thank you to his parents and know that he will help around the house. If a man carefully sorts his clothes into shelves and drawers, be prepared to follow an unquestioningly strict set of rules and maintain sterile cleanliness.
How your man expresses his feelings. The average man, fit for a good family life, is restrained in showing his feelings in public. In a more intimate setting, he can be very sensual and passionate. If everything happens the other way around, and your man doesn’t have sex with you in public places... know that this is how your internally insecure male asserts himself in front of other male competitors, openly using your kind attitude towards him.
What does his look say about a man? If a man simply undresses you and devours you with his eyes, he definitely intends to embarrass you or put pressure on you. If a man talks to you and looks around, either he is trying to lie to you or he is terribly bored with you. In any case, such a man should not be trusted or trusted. But if a man “glides” his gaze over you, i.e. looks at you and immediately looks away, rest assured - he has a crush!
Your man's way of speaking. Slow speech without vivid comparisons or metaphors speaks of a man who is thorough in everything he does, but a little down-to-earth in his actions. Bright, nervous speech, with changes in intonation and active gestures in addition, reveals a man prone to mood swings, ups and downs of activity and a narcissist. If words need to be pulled out of a man with pincers, either he is greatly hiding his intentions, or he is clamped down and you have not touched the hidden strings of his soul. In any case, think about whether you are ready to entertain him all your life?
Do you think this information about a man is enough to judge him and decide whether to continue communicating with him? Will this information help you decide whether there are prospects for a relationship with this man?
Perhaps you have your own secrets on how to quickly “calculate” what kind of man you are dealing with. Share your secrets in the comments. Let our experience as women help us all to be happier and more thoughtful when choosing a man for family life or just for a fun night.
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She chose only outwardly attractive and athletic men, and then realized that the man was emotionally unbalanced and immature, and was not going to change his bachelor lifestyle for her. And most women, when choosing men, concentrate their attention. Does he have a car, an apartment, education, experience in relationships with women, taste and style in clothing, appearance.
And this is very sad!
When I was in London, I was simply amazed at what women came up with to get into the elite club Kitsch, and the main goal was to leave with one of the men that same evening in order to amaze him with striptease and sexual prowess and tie him up in this way to yourself. It ALWAYS ended in nothing. Or there was no sex at all. Or the man just fucked this girl, thanked her and never called again.
Men are not as stupid as many women want them to be. And although the main driving force for men is sex, they choose a partner for a long-term relationship based on more than one criterion.
And women need to filter more carefully. Understand that a lot depends on your choice. Yes, almost everything can be corrected, including an unsuccessful marriage and dissatisfaction with relationships and unnecessary casual sex.
But what is important to really pay attention to is the potential of the individual.
A woman can always explain to a man why a Porsche Cayenne is better than a metro. And a house is better than an apartment. And why travel is more enjoyable than TV.
But that's a different job. This needs to be learned. The male way doesn't work here. Here you need to learn to inspire, you need to be valuable so that a man wants to do everything for you. You love him, you don’t ask, but you have desires and ambitions. And he understands the value of your love for him and you personally. He understands that it is you who show him a better life, a new quality. And it is important for him that his genetic lineage evolves. And that’s exactly why he needs you.
A man will always find a way to satisfy all your needs. Both in sex, intimacy, and in the material world. I would not like to talk about the criteria for choosing a man. In fact, they don't exist. But there is something I want to focus on.
1. It is important to understand that intelligence, the ability to concentrate on a specific task, responsibility, interest, the ability to complete a task, the desire to grow and develop (in one’s field) are very important qualities for determining a man’s potential.
His attitude towards life in general.
Is he a pessimist or an optimist?
In fact, this is not so important for career and self-realization. But living with a pessimistic person may not be so comfortable. You just realize it and don't change it.
One woman told me how she showed love to her husband. She believed that she was giving him LOVE. Every morning for 18 years she told him “Good morning, my love!” To which he answered her, muttering under his breath, “It’s never a good morning!”
And so she was proud that after 18 years he began to answer “Good morning!”
How to choose the right man
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October 6, 2014 | views: 1,701
What kind of men do women choose? Caring, intelligent, attentive, wealthy, educated. Everyone has their own criteria for choosing a man. For some, origin is important, while for others, only financial status is important. Let's see how to choose the right man based on considerations of future comfort of coexistence.
Which man should you choose?
It just seems that women don’t choose men, they say, love is evil. Nothing like that, just how they choose! It’s just that sometimes they don’t spend a couple of hours on it, as when choosing a dress.
The criteria for choosing a man are of great importance in forming a strong relationship!
How to choose the right man by appearance
There is such a joke. A girl of twenty years old is told that there is a groom for you. She asks - what is he like? A girl at thirty is told the same thing, she asks - who is he? And finally, a lady at forty years old is announced that there is a party for her, so she immediately asks - WHERE IS HE?
Appearance is important only in youth, when life experience does not yet suggest anything, and falling in love is more like an instinctive wandering. Young beauties tend to fall madly in love with movie actors or musicians, without even knowing their character.
Over time, the riot of hormones gives way to a more conscious choice, and a charming man will look handsome in the eyes of a woman, even if his physical appearance is not particularly attractive. Therefore, the right choice of a man based on his appearance is a choice after several dates, when it becomes clear that that same invisible connection arises, against the background of which external perception fades, or the person was never able to achieve the desired effect with his charm.
How to choose the right man based on his behavior
For some girls, it is important for a man to be an authoritarian father, for others - for him to be obedient, attentive and courteous. For some, daily boiling passions are important, while for others, peace and quiet are important. You can observe a man's manners everywhere. How he behaves in a restaurant, in a movie, in a traffic jam. By invisible signals you can understand how he reacts to certain situations, irritants or good news.
A man's manners can be extremely gallant, or a little careless. You shouldn't forgive bad manners if they don't suit you. It’s easier to either try to teach a man etiquette, or find another, more educated one.
How to choose the right man and his level of intelligence
Intelligence is not just encyclopedic knowledge or a master's degree diploma hanging on the wall. Intelligence is the ability to think, including outside the box and seriously. Perceive reality not from the point of view of a child who passes from one mother into the hands of another, but from the point of view of an adult who takes responsibility for the future family. The right choice for a man is the choice of a partner, not a child.
How to choose the right man - origin and family
Meeting parents can become a turning point in a relationship if it is clear that the young man’s family is against it, or that their social level is far from the one in which the girl grew up. The parents themselves also set an excellent example in the way they communicate with each other and with their own son. He will adopt this type of behavior towards his own children. Again, his mom and dad will have to be dealt with regularly and the grandchildren will have to trust them. Will this choice be the right one?
How to choose the right man - the financial side
Some people cannot imagine life without a wealthy businessman husband, while others see heaven in a hut. In any case, the financial side should not be the criterion for choosing a man. It never ended well.
Millionaires turn out to be stingy, businessmen constantly disappear on business trips and in negotiations, not devoting even three minutes to their own family. And the eternally poor projectors cannot even buy a child a birthday present and force innocent children to feel the wretchedness of their existence. Finance has never been the main criterion for choosing a man, because love has always come first.
But, love is love, and building a family without a financial basis or for mercantile reasons is not worth it.
How to choose the right man - attitude and attention
And finally, perhaps most importantly. His attitude. Attentive, caring, or dictatorial, consumerist? Does he feel dependent or too free? A clear analysis of his attitude and treatment will help you choose the right man.
A man must show respect for himself and his partner, must be happy to communicate with her in all respects, and perceive life together as a normal relationship prospect.
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When I asked her: “Why didn’t you try all this time to leave him alone until he sorted out his own morning?” She answered me: “I wanted to teach him to love.” She remained silent and understood everything. Woman, smart. I brought passion back into the relationship simply by seeing my partner’s needs.
Your intuition and attraction.
This is a very, very important selection criterion.
But..
If you really like a man, but all your acquaintances, friends, his friends say that you are “not a couple.” Take a closer look. What exactly do you not notice and will you be able to get along with it in the future? And vice versa. If you don’t like a man at all, but everyone says that this is just an ideal option. Give him a chance. Well, give love, receive love, and let this world become a better, happier and kinder place through you and your happy relationships. Put “LIKE” and write in the comments what filtering criteria you use.
