You both know what you want
For some, finding the meaning of life is easier than understanding what they want in bed. It’s good if you’re not from this category: you know your erogenous zones, what you need for your orgasm and how to manage your sexual fantasies. It's even better when it's mutual and your guy is just as confident when it comes to sex. Knowing your needs helps you understand what is wrong in your intimate life with your partner and how to fix it. If you both cannot boast of such certainty, do not worry, it can be fixed. Explore your bodies, experiment, share your impressions and find what suits you.
Incompatibility of partners: what is it?
But sometimes conception does not occur in a couple where both partners are completely healthy. In such cases, doctors, as a rule, make a not very comforting diagnosis - incompatibility of partners. This means that, despite the normal functioning of the body, there is some factor that interferes with the fertilization process. This problem can arise under the influence of various factors. In most cases, incompatibility can be corrected, but occasionally such a diagnosis can be final.
Don't be afraid to talk to each other about frank topics
To fully satisfy each other, a standard set of knowledge about pistils and stamens is not enough. It's hard to give pleasure if you do it at random. Therefore, your willingness to discuss intimate topics is one of the signs of sexual compatibility. If a guy openly talks about his preferences, and you remain silent and do not admit that he is bad in bed, both of you will not be satisfied with your sex life.
Immunological incompatibility and its consequences
Moreover, sometimes the male body produces antibodies to its own germ cells. In any case, the sperm die without fertilizing the egg.
Of course, even with such a problem, women sometimes manage to get pregnant. But most often, pregnancy proceeds unfavorably - immune cells damage the embryo in the early stages of development. There is a high probability of severe toxicosis, spontaneous abortion, as well as delays in fetal development. In any case, during planning for conception, testing for the presence of antisperm antibodies is recommended for all couples wishing to have a child.
Don't judge your partner's wishes
The key to candor is a positive attitude. People find it difficult to talk about sex for fear of being judged. Intimately compatible partners will not shame each other for their preferences, no matter how strange they may seem. This does not mean that you must unquestioningly fulfill your partner’s wishes. Do not forget the main principle of any sexual practice - voluntariness. But if you are positive and open to new experiences, you can find a solution that suits both of you. Judging doesn't even give you and your boyfriend a chance to improve your sex life.
What are the differences between female and male sexuality?
Today, the sexual roles of men and women are confused, which is associated with the emergence of modern double standards. Let's consider the main differences between male and female sexuality, which are determined by nature itself:
- Aggressiveness and passivity. In a couple, it is the man who is associated with the word “aggressiveness,” that is, with moving forward. A woman is more “passive”, that is, feminine and sophisticated.
- Strength and weakness. The role of a man is more significant in sex, since the success of sexual intercourse depends on his arousal. A woman is more passive in this regard, but she does everything to make her partner strong and successful.
- Treason. A man by nature endures female infidelity more difficult, as this deals a significant blow to his masculinity. For a woman, a strong blow is a long-term relationship between a partner and another chosen one, since he gives her his love.
- Duality. The duality of a woman is manifested in the fact that she acts both as a wife and as a mother of her children. The duality of a man is his perception of himself and his sexual organ as if “separate”, since through it communication with women is carried out.
These psychological differences are due to nature, but if one of the partners, due to psychological attitudes that he received in childhood, subconsciously believes otherwise, sexual incompatibility may arise. However, this does not mean that only this reason can take place. Let's consider this issue in more detail.
Your libidos are similar
One of the most obvious signs of compatibility is that you have approximately the same level of sexual activity. This usually becomes clear when the sweet-bouquet period has passed, your hormones have calmed down and you have entered your normal sexual rhythm. There is no consensus on how often couples in healthy relationships should have intimacy. The only more or less specific criterion is the coincidence of libido. This is one of the important factors for a happy life together.
How does sexual incompatibility manifest itself and what causes it?
Speaking about sexual incompatibility, we usually mean the inability of partners to bring each other satisfaction in sex . This may manifest itself as:
- Dissatisfaction with the quality of sexual contact;
- Dissatisfaction with the frequency of sexual intercourse;
- Dissatisfaction with the duration of sexual intercourse;
- Dissatisfaction with the variety of sexual life.
This list can be continued endlessly, but there is only one conclusion - some reason provokes such disharmony. There may also be several reasons for this.
Physical incompatibility manifests itself as a difference in the size of male and female genital organs. If the partner’s penis is less than the depth of the partner’s vagina, the woman simply will not receive proper pleasure ; if on the contrary, injury to the mucous membranes is possible. This problem is easy to solve - sex shops sell many devices designed specifically for such situations.
Very often, incompatibility manifests itself as a difference in temperament. People with a strong temperament are ready for sexual intercourse several times a day, while a weak temperament involves sexual intercourse only a few times a week.
Age also plays an important role. For men, the peak of sexual activity occurs at the age of 25-30 years, and women are fully open and can lead the most vibrant sex life after 30 years.
Also, one should not underestimate already formed foundations and habits. If the partners have already had repeated sexual intercourse before the start of the relationship, they may not accept something or vice versa - this must be resolved through conversations and compromises.
Ready to compromise
If your libidos are significantly different - a guy needs sex every day, but you only need sex a couple of times a week - this does not mean that you have no chance. Here another sign of sexual compatibility comes into play - the ability to compromise. In order for your intimate life to be comfortable, one will have to learn to pacify their desires and sublimate energy into something else, and the other will have to make concessions and from time to time give their partner pleasure unilaterally.
TOP 6 tips on what to do if people have different sexual temperaments
Different temperaments between husbands and wives manifest themselves in two forms:
- one of the partners wants sex more often than the other;
- A man and a woman do not have the same ideas about intimacy (for example, one loves romance, the other wants it “harder”).
You can cope with any situation.
Plan sex
“Planned love” has pros and cons. But in the case of different sexual appetites, this can be a good solution. The schedule is especially effective if one of the partners works a lot and in the evening he has no energy left for sex. Set aside a time in advance when you will belong to each other and will not be distracted.
Diversify intimacy
There is no need to run to a sex shop to get handcuffs and a gag. You can diversify intimacy in different ways: for example, replace classic sex with penetration with oral sex or petting. Talk to your partner, find out what turns him on, think about how to make your fantasies come true. Or give it an unexpected surprise: read the article about what men like during sex and try some of the points.
Make compromises
Does your partner want intimacy once a month, do you want it every day? Great. Calculate the “arithmetic average”: agree to have sex 2-3 times a week. This option is much better than repeatedly refusing your loved one or “breaking” yourself by agreeing without any enthusiasm.
Change the surroundings
Another recommendation from sexologists on what to do if you and your husband have different temperaments is to try to change the circumstances of sex. Often intimacy takes place under the same conditions: the couple goes into the bedroom, undresses, turns off the light. As a result, intimacy becomes boring and routine. Try to add some variety. Make love in the living room or kitchen (if circumstances permit), rent a hotel room. If you can’t think of anything original, read the “Love and Sex” section. It contains the best advice from psychologists and coaches.
Try joint activities
We are talking about activities that can excite both. For example, watching erotic films, reading explicit literature, role-playing games. Then you both will come to a state of “combat readiness”. Find out how to quickly excite a man, think about what can make you hot, and choose a suitable activity together. If erotica and games are not your thing, try:
• take a bath together;
• give each other a massage;
• lie in an embrace;
• say your fantasies out loud.
Experiment! You will succeed.
Relieve your partner
Different temperaments between spouses are not the only reason for the lack of regular sex. Perhaps it's just normal fatigue. What should you do if your wife seems to have different temperaments? Analyze her day. Maybe after a whole day of work she is forced to run the household: cook, clean, help the children with their homework? Take some of the worries upon yourself: your loved one will be less tired, there will be more sex, and it will be of better quality.
