What does a mother need to be happy?

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If you believe the famous singer of the 90s, then to be happy a woman needs “as long as there is a sweetheart nearby.” But if everything were that simple, then all our married readers would be absolutely happy.

Often we see a different picture - more and more women in marriage feel depressed, tired and sometimes even angry. And if you feel that at some point in your life something has gone wrong, this is the first step towards change.

We agree with the phrase that every girl is born for pleasure, which she will happily broadcast to the world. A woman is definitely not born to drag out a miserable existence. Everyone has the right to be happy.

Despite the fact that everyone has their own concept of “happiness,” there are several common needs, feelings and things that every woman needs. Let's talk about how much a woman needs to be satisfied.

Time for yourself

For a happy and contented woman, “I” is the first letter in the alphabet. Ladies with rescuer or victim syndrome are at great risk of being disappointed at the end of life, because no one will say “thank you.”

It is very important for a woman to find time for herself and for those things that give her a feeling of happiness.

That is why psiho-logika.com believes that a woman should not work, it is better if she does what she loves.

You can engage in any hobby, the main thing is that after it your condition is better than before. It could be embroidery, reading, Spanish, watching a movie...

What could be better for a woman than becoming a mother, but even they themselves do not know some interesting facts about motherhood. Have you ever thought that in most languages the word “mother” sounds similar? We call her “mama, nenkoya, matinka”, Russian and Spanish children - “mama”, French “maman”, German kids “nami, muter”, among Koreans mother sounds like “omma”, among Bulgarians - “mama, mike” .

Why is that? Probably because the syllable “ma” is the simplest thing a baby can pronounce. And “mama” comes from the repetition of syllables. Another interesting fact is that motherhood makes a woman smarter. Scientists from the University of Miami have proven that after the birth of a child, women become more attentive and remember better.

In the study, childless people and women with children were shown a piece of paper with six symbols on it for 10 seconds. After this, the participants were asked to draw what they remembered. The tests were carried out three times, and in all cases, female mothers showed better results. This happens because during the postpartum period, a woman’s brain begins to develop rapidly: some areas of the cortex change in size and shape due to fluctuations in hormone levels. And since motherhood radically changes the world for a woman, she gains new opportunities to remember information and is more inclined to learn.

Women in labor also have heightened perception, which allows them to recognize their baby by smell and sounds. Therefore, it is probably not without reason that they say that motherhood is a special state, a special happiness.

It's happiness. Immediately after the birth of a child, miracles happen. The feelings are so overwhelming that they cannot be contained. Love, tenderness, sensuality and immense happiness spread in strong streams of waves of energy from the union of two hearts - a newborn and his mother.

Why this happens, the answer is still unknown. First of all, only one answer comes to mind: everything is planned from above and every woman in labor is given a lot of strength for childbirth and the postpartum state.

Unfortunately, we often hear from women that they have not experienced such feelings. But this is not surprising. Having given birth to one, even two children, does not always bring euphoria of happiness. But now the third and further child is truly indescribable happiness.

Nature provides this pleasure, this feeling of happiness, intentionally for the continuation of the human race. And true happiness is given precisely to that woman who must give birth to a harmonious child.

Relationship

...as well as understanding, support, support and the feeling “like behind a stone wall.” If you want to be in a relationship with a man, then this is a completely normal desire. It’s another matter if you are not self-sufficient, that is, your happiness constantly depends on him.

Self-sufficient does not mean “strong woman” and does not mean “doing everything yourself.” This means that you have your own hobbies, friends, plans, interests, favorite job, sports, and so on.

Every normal woman wants both physical and spiritual intimacy. After all, these are basic needs. You may not want a family or children, but understanding, sex and a sense of security are very important.

Women's happiness in children?

When Oksana was seven years old, she quite clearly understood what the secret of female happiness was hidden in. However, she was not the only child who was touched by one of the mysteries of the universe. All of Oksana’s friends from her native “B” shared her belief that a woman’s first priority is not career growth, not a lot of money, or even a husband with the appearance and fortune of Brad Pitt. The main thing for her is motherhood.

Daughters and mothers... From the potty until girlhood, this game was beyond competition for all the girls. Changing small diapers of plastic babies, tiny beds and kitchens, an evening lullaby - all this magical fuss was a rehearsal for their future happiness.

Oksana was a mother-heroine: one of her dolls attended school, the other was studying in the senior group of kindergarten. And their younger sisters - two twin dolls - stayed at home. How the girls wanted to quickly become women and “have” real children! They put twenty-year-old girls in no hurry to get married on a par with old maids. First-graders looked at married but childless women with outright surprise: they get married in order to give birth to children, otherwise what’s the point?

Just think, at such a snotty age, Oksana and her friends were already trying to live in complete harmony with God’s plan for women. If someone had told them then that their wife’s salvation lay through childbearing, one could read on the girls’ faces not fear, but undisguised joy. There is no great wisdom: give birth and bring out all the “babies” that God gives you!

However, the closer the graduation party got, the more illusory the dreams of motherhood became. Most of the girls placed them in a cemetery mausoleum, on the doors of which there was an inscription: “For everything there is a time.” This did not happen because Oksana and her desk neighbors grew out of doll age. It’s just that someone was seriously involved in their upbringing. And these were not the notorious Western feminists, but mostly mothers. The girls were clearly explained that being an old maid is not the worst thing. It’s worse when you get pregnant in your second year of college! Therefore, you need to clearly define your priorities: first, study and obtaining a specialty, then marriage and children.

Oksana and her friends, being obedient daughters, accepted these principles. After thinking, they even added a few innovations to the list. A career was added to the training. But I also want to look at the world. Choosing a worthy husband is a matter of urgency, so at least five candidates must pass the “testing”. After marriage, it won’t be a bad idea to live for yourself for a while. And she will have time with children... European women, they say, at thirty-five only give birth to their first children.

Among her classmates, Oksana made friends who had no intention of giving birth. Not now, not later. Maybe in first grade they played the head of the sales department? Doubtful...

She had to go through all the stages of transforming a mother of many children into an inveterate careerist. Why did Oksana put off having a child for so long? Because this very “living for yourself” attracts. It would seem that she graduated from a prestigious university, and the memories of the cruise ship are still fresh. And my husband is the ultimate dream. Why change? And so everything is top-notch. And the children... We'll make it.

Perhaps Oksana would still be referring to old Europe with her overripe mothers, if not for the wonderful sense of humor of the Lord, who gave them a child. The baby was born despite the latest advances in contraception.

Women... It is difficult to say anything intelligible about the bliss of motherhood, especially when pursuing some advertising goals, so that as many young girls as possible read these lines, think about it and begin to give birth.

There are as many difficulties and problems as you can list! For example, how difficult it is to find a qualified pediatrician or a responsive teacher. And children's shoes and clothes are always more expensive than adult things. As for happiness... A kaleidoscope of the first toothless smiles, uncertain steps and family holidays is scrolling through my head. The epilogue could be a glass of water that sets one’s teeth on edge in old age. It seems that women give birth to children not only for this purpose.

The small fry swarming at their feet is a wonderful chance to learn to think not only about themselves. Apparently, this is the meaning of salvation through childbearing.

Oksana sometimes asks herself: how long does it take to give birth to become a real mother? Good question. Once meeting an Orthodox priest she knew, she asked him about it. For a few seconds he thoughtfully ran his fingers through his brown beard, and then answered: “Darling, at least raise one of them into a worthy person, and it will be great. If you scare your husband with the prospect of a dozen children, he’ll go on the run!”

A dozen, not a dozen, but just recently Oksana couldn’t even imagine herself as a mother. And yesterday a thought occurred to her: what would it be like to distribute your love among three kids? Need to try…

God willing, everything will work out. In the meantime, she remembers herself as a restless first-grader, whose one doll obediently goes to school, and the second to kindergarten, and the “twins” need to be fed. And mother’s affection was enough for everyone.

God bless you!

Diversity

Another feature of female nature that we often forget about is diversity. In order to be happy, a woman simply needs variety. Routine and everyday life brings boredom into a girl’s life.

This doesn't mean you have to take on a new job every day or travel every month. But it is important to be able to dispel boredom. Firstly, it is useful for you personally, and secondly, believe me, your man will thank you.

If you are not in a relationship, then this state is the first step to attracting a worthy man into your life.

Philosophy of life and love

Number of words in the article: 716 Time to read: 3 minutes Already read 266

A woman's happiness. Love and children. Family happiness and children. Until recently, it was generally accepted that a woman’s happiness, and first of all, family happiness, lay in children. Most women tried to realize in their children what they themselves could not achieve. Not everything that was dreamed of came true. But... Times change, and the perception of what until recently seemed unshakable also changes.

And although, somewhere deep in the subconscious there is a thought that without children a woman, it seems, is not a completely full-fledged woman. This means that she cannot be happy at an age when it seems that everything is still ahead.

This thought is driven away, they try to hide it even deeper. Alas, retribution for such violence against female nature comes when nothing can be corrected. When the realization comes that a woman’s happiness really lies in her children, the woman is no longer able to realize this.

Some may not agree. They say that there are so many abandoned children now that any woman can realize herself as a mother. All this is true, but with one caveat.

A woman who has not known the happiness of motherhood in the original sense (has not carried a child under her heart), with all her desire, will not be able to awaken that same maternal instinct in herself.

Maternal instinct, which “turns on” the natural instinct in a woman’s body - the instinct of self-preservation. Instinct is the continuation of the genus of the subspecies “homo sapiens”.

Namely, it is the maternal instinct that not only mobilizes the body to perform a miracle. Suffice it to remember how a woman-mother held a multi-ton slab so that it would not fall on a stroller with a baby). But it also gives strength to overcome any obstacles, of which there are many on the path of life.

This is noted by both psychologists and sociologists. Those who are trying today to clarify the nature of such a mass phenomenon as the reluctance to burden themselves with caring for children. And who “sound the alarm.”

By the way, the same psychologists say. Children truly feel like family in those families who adopt children when their own become adults. Family happiness and children are inextricably linked, one might say, at the genetic level. Not in terms of “blood relationship”. And in terms of the need to realize the “awakened maternal instinct.”

This is indicated by “dry statistics”, and once again confirms it. A woman who has not given birth cannot “feel” what a woman feels who has already given life to the world once.

Modern families are increasingly left without children for a long time. Women don’t want to give birth “until everything is sorted out,” and when it’s already “formed,” it’s often too late.

Today, the perception of what “a woman’s happiness” is (a separate conversation about men) is formed from the position of consumerism, calculating and cold egocentrism is finding more and more confirmation.

This trend has been emerging for a long time, but it was “overlooked”. And the process, according to scientists, is almost irreversible. At least in Christianity. However, still Fr. This means that the situation can still be turned around.

As is known, the egocentric position (also called solipsistic) leads to individualism, and is characterized by the fact that the solipsist is not sure whether there is anything other than his feelings.

Well, this is already from the field of philosophy.

But, here’s what concerns the question of a woman’s happiness “here and now.” That's when desires fade away. Needs are limited only by physical capabilities. A woman, in a more acute form than a man, begins to realize that, as a woman, she was never able to realize herself fully. It is on the threshold of old age that one comes to the understanding that only by experiencing the happiness of motherhood can one feel like a woman to the extent that Mother Nature created her.

Psychologists believe that this is due to the fact that the “female age” is much shorter (sexually speaking). Because all kinds of surrogates are only capable of stimulating physiological receptors. But, as for “spiritual satisfaction” with oneself... It is impossible to deceive nature and time. “If youth knew, and old age could...”

Without any doubt. The fact that women’s happiness in the original understanding as it existed for many centuries is perceived differently by modern women is a considerable part of the fault of the “strong half of humanity.”

Because, (according to women) “men increasingly love with their eyes, so the birth rate is falling.” This is how modern women joke. But in every joke there is a share of... jokes. But other?

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