Self-realization: 1 - 0 in favor of working women
Being a housewife very often means living someone else's life - your husband and/or children, but not your own. “Breathe” their interests, immerse yourself in their problems. Of course, such an existence allows you to feel needed, useful, and in demand. The thought “They are nowhere without me” warms the soul. But the children grow up, and the husband—the husband may leave. The spiritual vacuum that has been accumulating for years will be very difficult, if not impossible, to fill overnight. The advice of others to “Live for yourself” is perceived... as mockery. A working woman still has less chance of becoming Chekhov’s “Darling”, if only because her circle of social contacts is wider. After all, before you realize yourself, it wouldn’t hurt to figure out what exactly you want, in what area do you want to reveal your talents? This is exactly the most difficult question for those who stay at home: housewives can be damn talented, but not even know it. So the presence of other people who will give feedback, or simply “throw out” ideas, is a must. And a working woman is more interesting to her husband - there is something to discuss with her, there is a reason to be a little jealous - so it won’t be boring.
You will be able to devote more time to your children and husband
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For a working woman, the sphere of family relationships suffers the most, since there is neither time nor energy for full communication. Thanks to the fact that you fully devote yourself to serving your family and home, you will be able to devote more time, effort and energy to inspiring your husband, strengthening relationships in the family, and developing and raising children.
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Finance: 1 - 0 in favor of working women
Those who work in an office, as a rule, perform certain job responsibilities, have a standardized (at least conditionally) working day and regular payment for their work. A housewife’s schedule is usually built according to the fairy-tale principle “And you sleep, rest” (“Wash the hut, clean the yard, milk the cows, let them out to pasture, tidy up the barn and sleep and rest! Cook breakfast, warm the samovar, feed breakfast – sleep and rest ! You will work in the field or weed in the garden, if in winter you go for firewood or for hay and then sleep and rest"), and no financial reward is provided at all. In fact, this situation can be described as “Working for food.” Let's be honest, the role of the “eternal supplicant” is far from the most pleasant.
Liability: 1 - 0 in favor of housewives
It’s convenient when there is a reliable person nearby who is ready to shoulder the burden of responsibility for what is happening on his shoulders, and makes all the fateful decisions for you. All that remains is to go with the flow, without doubting that the husband really knows what will be best. And the wife is pleased - and the husband’s self-esteem rises. Many working ladies have probably sympathized more than once with the hero of the joke, who was busy with the nervous, exhausting work of sorting oranges (large ones in one box, small ones in another), who complained that “all I do all day is make decisions.”
No need to wait for Friday
How eagerly office workers look forward to Friday! A blissful day that indicates the approach of the long-awaited weekend. For housewives, all these impatient expectations disappear - they can take a day off whenever they want or need rest. In addition, they do not need to blush in front of their boss if they suddenly need an odd day off - they themselves have the right to make decisions about what and when to do, how to distribute their time and energy.
Of course, being a housewife takes away many of the other advantages that working women have. However, a free woman can add all the colors to her life that she lacks and add them in the order in which she wants!
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Hello! This is a blog on psychology, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype About us/Make an appointment
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Career: oddly enough 1 - 1
A housewife who has “come to her senses”, who has not worked for a day in her specialty, and then (10 years later) decides to go back to work, will not be in for the most pleasant surprises. Few employers (unless he is a friend of her husband, lover, her own, etc.) will be happy with an “adult” employee with no work experience and no professional skills. But with adequate self-esteem and a positive attitude, these difficulties can be overcome, especially if you don’t set your goal to get an office job in order to “get out into the world” or “get married again,” but go freelance or start your own business.
Gen: 1 - 0 in favor of working women
One quickly gets used to good things - as a rule, after some time it “suddenly” turns out that household members are sure that mother is needed to make life easier, she exists for exactly the same thing as a washing machine, refrigerator, food processor and vacuum cleaner, only more (or less) depending on the character) is unpretentious in operation. Talking to household appliances, you understand, is not particularly interesting, and it’s somehow not customary to be interested in their opinion. Any requests to help with housework seem like a very annoying misunderstanding to the rest of the family - after all, the housewife has nothing else to do anyway! Further more - cleanliness begins to be perceived as “something that goes without saying” (read - you are unlikely to receive praise), but the slightest hint of its absence will immediately be put “in sight”. If this does not hit self-esteem, then it is not a means of raising it. It is easier for a working wife to “reach out” to the family - to explain that she (just like her husband and father) has a job, after which she may be tired, etc.
It's easy to be a housewife
Gone are the days when the role of a housewife meant daily hard labor, the need to get up before dawn and spin like a squirrel in a wheel until midnight. A modern woman has absolutely everything she needs to complete household chores quickly, easily and fun. Washing machines, microwave ovens, electronic dough mixers, blenders, food processors - all this will do the work for you, and you will only be the queen of the house, controlling this process. Of course, it won’t work out completely without effort, but in fact there is nothing wrong with homework if you organize it correctly.
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Grooming: Draw 1 - 1
Housewives certainly have more opportunities and time to take care of themselves. At a minimum, they have full sleep, which many working women only dream of. Plus a pleasant opportunity not to force your own biorhythms and the opportunity to take care of your face and body without flinching because your husband might catch them in an unsightly state - you can safely spread white, blue or pink clay or “pupate” in cling film. A daily card to a fitness club costs much less, and there is no special excitement during classes at this time.
Working people have less free time and more external incentives to look perfect. The presence of colleagues and “competitors” mobilizes and motivates. The thought “Oh, what will they think” makes you move towards perfection.
Dependence on men: 1 - 0 in favor of working women
Men who are supporters of the so-called classical model of marriage, when the wife is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen, by and large do not think about the happiness of their spouse, but about their own self-affirmation. Since his wife is at home, he is a fine fellow, a breadwinner, her “reliance” and support. And, by the way, she is in complete control of the situation - if something happens, she has nowhere to go (or there is no way to kick him out). That is why, at the slightest attempt on the part of a woman to somehow loosen the collar on her neck, he immediately begins to express his dissatisfaction. A working woman knows that even if something happens, she will not be lost even with her children. In a word, she has a choice, but a housewife often does not have such a choice.
You will never be bored
Have you ever seen a bored housewife? Even if we have met, it is very rare - these are women who have a limited range of interests. A deep, developed personality can never be made bored if it has an immensely wide field for activity. You can come up with interesting tasks for yourself within the framework of your responsibility, change their sequence.
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How to learn to be proud of yourself?
Children: 1 - 0 in favor of housewives
Children of mothers who stay at home feel more protected. Mom probably won’t miss the matinee, will carve out half an hour (or even an hour) to tell a fairy tale, and will listen, without rushing, to what the baby wants to tell her. She will not be nervous about the fact that she will be dissatisfied with another sick leave “to care for the child” and will always be aware of all the child’s “affairs” - who she is friends with, who she quarrels with, what she is worried about. For working mothers, due to a lack of free time, problems of life support, rather than upbringing, usually come to the fore. The child is fed, dressed, shod - and okay, emotional communication is postponed for the weekend. On Saturday you need to wash, iron on Sunday, cook something delicious - and before you know it, the next week begins.
Is it humiliating to be a housewife?
I often come across indignant exclamations from women here and there, not always even addressed to me. That the position of a woman is humiliating, especially if you are at home, if you are “just” a housewife, pathetic and dependent. And I understand that all this is written by women who have never been truly under the protection of a man, who have not tried to develop at home, in a family, with children. Those who have never been a real housewife, at most, sat at home watching TV or scrubbed the floors with hatred from morning to night. Therefore, it is difficult for them to understand how many opportunities there really are for a woman at home, and how privileged the position of homemaker can be.
A woman is one who is enjoyed
A woman is one through whom one enjoys. And a man is the one who enjoys. This is what men and women are called in Sanskrit. Therefore, many modern questions do not have answers that would suit everyone. Moreover, a woman’s whole body is wired to give. Don't believe me? Look in the mirror. A man receives a lot through a woman. And pleasure on different levels, and energy, and inspiration.
Women's nature is such that someone will always use her and her energy to achieve their goals and pleasure. That's what it's designed for.
But the purposes of such use, as well as the payment for it, can vary greatly. Therefore, it is customary to say that women are humiliated from the very beginning, that the world is unfair. And we “continue to be humiliated” - both today and 100-200 years ago, and even in a traditional society - it’s a nightmare. Women are simply used, exploited, decisions are made for them, they are discriminated against.
And for some reason, in the fight for equal rights, we are trying to change something that was not invented by us, instead of using what is given to us wisely. A woman will always be exploited by someone. It cannot be used by anyone or anything; it is too valuable and expensive a resource. But she has a choice. Either she is enjoyed by one man - and only one - that is, her husband. For his sake, she works at home, preserves her beauty for him, gives him her energy. If she is disgusted by this option, they say, what kind of lack of rights is this! - then other men will enjoy her. Many other and different men. I'm not even talking about those with whom she will enter into a relationship, but also about those for whom she will work.
Should I give my energy to someone else's uncle?
Have you ever thought that any enterprise is somehow based on feminine energy? Any successful leader has a muse - a wife, daughter, beloved woman or mother. But besides this, he has many employees who give their precious feminine energy every day to this very boss and his enterprise. Business grows with these forces. And it seems that everything is fair. Women give their time and energy and receive a salary in return. But isn't this too cheap and imprudent?
My mother, I hope, will forgive me for telling you a little about her. She worked for more than 20 years at the enterprise, in fact, together with the boss, they raised it from the ruins, and over time it began to flourish. How much health and strength my mother left there, how much time she spent on it. Surely few people know about this, but I saw how she sat at night, and how she spent weekends at work, and how she worried about her business more than about herself.
And she didn’t get married, and she accumulated illnesses, and for many years there was no time for hobbies. And what is it all for?
She worked all her life, even studied and worked at the institute. Her work experience was never interrupted, she approached her duties responsibly, and practically never went on sick leave (only once, when she was in an accident). She supported the common cause with all her soul (sometimes it seems to me even more than the leader himself).
And when I found out the size of her pension, the same one hard-earned over so many years, I wanted to cry - it wasn’t worth it at all. Although this is the maximum pension, the salary is white, with northern coefficients. But this is several times less than her usual salary. I don’t know how anyone can live on this, and I hope that we will always have the opportunity to help my mother.
Yes, my mother still cannot leave, although she has already worked for a year after her retirement. Because she invested so much into this enterprise, as if it were her brainchild too. But that's not true. This is not her business at all, not her child, not her family. She's just an employee, like everyone else. Who, perhaps, is appreciated a little more and who has been encouraged in various ways all these years, is a very profitable employee who devoted not only his strength to this business, but also his nerves and health. But still, just an employee.
As an employee, a woman is more profitable. She has a lot of complexes and experiences in her head that are easy to play with and manipulate. She wants to be good, and is afraid to remain unnecessary, and she must feed her children at any cost, especially if there is no husband, and she works more, and tries harder, and it is easy to manage her. She will work on weekends, in the evenings, and on vacation. This will also invest subtle feminine power into the enterprise. And without this power, nothing can grow or exist in this world.
To whom and “how much” should I give it?
Women who do not want to be “exploited” by their husband, do not want to obey him and give him their strength, in the end they still give it all away - to absolutely strangers. After all, they still have to obey - not just one husband, but several other men. The head of a department, the director, the owner of the enterprise - at every place of work.
Isn't this the greatest self-deception? Not wanting to adapt to one man, a husband, we have to adapt to many others.
Are we giving ourselves away too cheaply, to whom and why? And all only because we want independence from one man - our own husband, whom we once chose, looked for, with whom we are closer than with other men in many ways, from whom we even give birth to children. It’s somehow strange, we don’t really choose our bosses, but we find the strength to endure them and adapt.
Yes, the Lord created us in such a way that the energy of pleasure would come into this world through us. It is useless to fight this fact, with your nature, trying to become someone who enjoys others. Our happiness comes to us exactly this way - when we can give love, care and pleasure to our loved ones. And everything material comes to us through our husband - if we allow this to happen, if we really spend our feminine power within the family. But you can achieve everything with your own labor, giving away for nothing what is very expensive. We choose where to invest it and how, the results will be different.
Every woman sells herself and her strength, so to speak. The only question is to whom and for how much. And I'm not talking about material things like fur coats and diamonds. Believe me, it's too cheap too. A worthy and adequate price for a woman is complete protection from her only and loving spouse, a home, family and children, and the opportunity to remain herself, without wasting herself on all sorts of nonsense that will turn into dust over time.
For me, it’s better to obey one man whom you chose, whom you love, who gave you children, to work for him with both soul and body, than to give yourself to various strangers and other people’s projects.
Money and salary do not compensate even a hundredth of what we give in return.
It is better to massage the feet of one - your beloved and only one, learn to communicate with him, than to adapt to dozens of different men, betray yourself in this, periodically “kissing” strangers on the butt for profit, giving yourself completely to those who will never appreciate it .
Energy as an investment in your own future
If our energy is created in order to give it away and make others happy, then we should not try to change this fact, we just need to think about how and to whom to direct it.
It is not beneficial for our world for female energy to belong to only one man. The world will lose so many responsible hard workers in the person of women, men will become stronger, women will not need so many things to fill the emptiness inside, many modern inventions will not be needed, the same kindergartens, and technical progress will clearly slow down, as will purchasing activity. Because all this is not necessary for happiness.
I was created to be enjoyed. So let only one man enjoy - my lawful and beloved husband. Why resist this? Moreover, this is the only way he can become successful in this world. It is better to voluntarily take your place than to wait until it is shown to you - persistently and repeatedly. It’s better to give everything voluntarily to someone who deserves it than to wait for strangers to shake it out of you. It is better to give him energy and rejoice in his victories together than to fight with him, demand high results, while pouring all the most valuable things down the drain.
And in conclusion, I would like to share one monologue by Brigitte Bardot. You know her, right? Millions of men dreamed about her, she starred in many films, received recognition, and realized herself. It would seem, what else could you dream about? But what is she saying now?
“When I watch one of my old films now, I spit in my soul and immediately turn off the TV. How low and vile I acted!
The apotheosis of human happiness is marriage. Every time I see a woman with her husband and children, I ask myself: Why am I deprived of this grace?!
While visiting Muslim countries, I was amazed by their women: at first glance, they are “shrouded” and “not free,” but watching, you understand that they have achieved the female happiness that each of us dreams of. Their men extol them, they are full of respect and awe, they smile and chirp near the most expensive stores. Their oriental, unearthly beauty children run around the pavilions, and husbands stand with a bunch of bags from Tiffany and Chopard and constantly call their wives “habibi” with a smile - in their language it means something like, “dear”, “ beloved” - and piercing sadness passes through the memory into the very heart.
No one has ever respected me half as much as they respect them, I thought. I would like to return everything and settle here, under the auspices of a loving husband, and have children. But now I live with a cat and a dog, who remember me when they are hungry.”
And yes, she is talking about those very “humiliated and unhappy” women in Muslim countries. I saw their eyes, there was an ocean of serenity and an incredible amount of feminine power in them.
While we are here worrying about them, the poor things, they sincerely worry about us - defenseless, misled, empty and unhappy women who have fallen victims of equality.
In Malaysia, for example, I tried to photograph a beautiful woman from afar, her husband almost stared at me and demanded that the photo be deleted.
Terrible events and cruelty happen everywhere; there is no point in picking out isolated cases and saying that this is the case everywhere, and the traditional way of life is to blame. In most cases, it is traditions that are designed to protect women, including from themselves. In our "advanced society" women are treated much worse. They are used for advertising purposes by being placed half-naked on banner boards, are judged by their appearance when hiring, and sometimes openly demand sexual relations in the workplace. In our families, domestic violence and other terrible things that I don’t want to talk about here and now are much more developed.
As a result, everyone decides for themselves how to manage their power and to whom to give it. We choose our own path, choose how to value ourselves and to whom and for how much to sell. The main thing is not to sell yourself short, because the energy of female power is not limitless. But no matter what each of us chooses, she will be right for herself in any case. After all, only she can decide how to treat herself and how to apply herself in this world, like an auction, where female strength is needed by everyone around her. Although few people understand its real cost and value.
Ability to manage your time: 1 - 0 in favor of housewives
This is where housewives, of course, will give the “workhorses” a head start. It’s great to realize that how your day is structured depends entirely on you. If you want, call your lover, if you want, take up a hobby, if you want, wander around an empty supermarket with a cart. You can even look out the window and enjoy watching the sun slowly creep up across the sky, then also slowly fall down - the day seems endlessly long, and is not “compressed” to 8 working hours a day, when both morning and evening are full. for artificial lighting are perceived absolutely equally.
And to you, our dear readers, which way of life is closer and why?
