Why don't children at this age want to study?
It’s worth warning right away: it is impossible, or at least extremely difficult, to force a teenager to do anything against his will. However, there are means to return decent marks to his diary. The choice of these means will depend on the reasons why the teenager abandoned his studies.
- The main reason is the switching of cognitive interests to a new sphere, social. During adolescence, the main goal is to learn to communicate with peers, in particular with representatives of the opposite sex. Teenagers learn to evaluate people, gain sympathy from others, make friends and love. This is very important knowledge, the acquisition of which cannot be postponed until later. They can only be obtained in a children's group, through personal communication, correspondence on social networks. The fact that schoolwork fades into the background, and communication with friends becomes much more important and interesting is natural.
- Overload. For a junior schoolchild, the authority of parents is indisputable. Wanting to make their offspring a multifaceted personality who succeeds in everything, mothers and fathers load their children to the maximum: they enroll in a sports section, a music school, a chess club, a dance and theater studio. The kid diligently pulls this cart until he reaches adolescence. The grown-up genius is tired, he wants to relax and do something easier and more interesting, and much of what his “ancestors” loaded him with seems unnecessary to him. As a result, the child starts a rebellion, refusing everything that he considers heavy, superfluous, uninteresting and useless. At the same time, he can refuse not only additional classes, but also the main ones - school ones.
- Quality of teaching , disrespect for the teacher. For younger schoolchildren, the teacher is an authority simply because he is a teacher. For teenagers, this is not enough: only those who deserve respect will be in authority. A person who does not respect the personality of a teenager will never be respected. If a teacher insults children, considers them “lazy” and “fools”, does not prepare for the lesson, does not try to make classes interesting, knows only two methods of influence - “f” and calling their parents to school, then he will end up on the “black list”. The teenager will not go to lessons with such a teacher; interest in the subject taught by this person will disappear.
- Conflict situations at school. If a teenager has a conflict with a teacher or with classmates, if he is teased and humiliated, then he will not want to go to school at all, even if he wants to study.
- Negative influence of the environment. It is possible that in a teenager’s social circle, the prevailing opinion is that studying is “not cool”, and “cool” is not studying. Trying to gain popularity in the children's group, the teenager abandons his studies.
- Lack of self-confidence. If a teenager believes that he will not achieve success in his studies, then he does not want to waste energy on it.
- Bad feeling. During adolescence, serious physiological changes occur in the body, intensive growth of various organs is observed, and growth and development do not always occur proportionally. During this period, joint pain, anemia, headache and dizziness, and other ailments accompanied by apathy and fatigue may occur. A teenager may simply not have enough strength to study well.
We recommend reading: How to wean a teenager off the computer
Having established the cause of poor study, you can try to regain lost interest in it.
Sleep, diet, sports: how to convince a teenager that this is important
Changes in the body and character, preparation for the Unified State Exam and entering college - it takes a lot of strength to cope with this. Our blogger Dmitry Lazarev tells how good sleep, regular breakfasts and exercise will help a child cope with stress.
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Experts from Rospotrebnadzor claim that healthy sleep, proper nutrition and sufficient physical activity have the most beneficial effects on a student’s health. For example, for full development, a teenager must sleep eight to ten hours a day, eat four to five times a day, and spend about three hours outdoors or playing sports. Let's figure out why this is so important.
Healthy sleep
Nemours, a children's health organization, says teenagers should sleep about nine hours a night. Teenagers rarely lie in bed that much.
How does sleep affect adolescent health?
- Helps a teenager to fully grow and develop;
- Directly affects attentiveness and success in school;
- Helps achieve success in sports;
- Sleep disturbances lead to numerous health problems: excess weight and heart problems, immune disorders and emotional problems.
Teenagers' biological clocks get lost
During adolescence, sleep patterns are noticeably different from those of children or adults. During this period, the circadian rhythm (or biological clock) is reset, causing teenagers to fall asleep and wake up later. This is thought to be due to melatonin, a hormone that regulates our biological clock. In adolescents, it is produced later than in young children or adults, which leads to the fact that the child does not want to sleep in the evenings.
Stress and gadgets get in the way
There is another reason for sleep disturbances - stress. In adolescence, a child has more responsibilities: Unified State Examination, tutors, upcoming admission, puberty. The brain is constantly excited.
Another fairly common cause of sleep disturbance is the habit of going to bed with a phone or tablet. A large amount of information does not allow the brain to calm down, so it is difficult for a teenager to fall asleep. By the way, the same effect is caused by late rounds in Fortnite or Dota.
How to help a teenager get enough sleep?
Here are tips to help you improve your sleep patterns:
- Go to bed and wake up at the same time, even on weekends;
- More physical activity, but, most importantly, not before bedtime (it takes about three hours for the body to calm down);
- Drink less coffee, tea and energy drinks;
- Stop using electronics at least an hour before bedtime;
- Light a night light in the teenager’s room and ventilate it in the evenings.
Balanced diet
To talk about proper nutrition for teenagers, I turned to research from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases from the United States. Scientists say that a balanced diet plays an important role in child development:
- Helps form bones and muscles;
- Maintains weight at the desired level;
- Positively affects school success;
- Prevents the risk of developing heart disease and diabetes.
What is a balanced diet?
Institute experts say that for the healthy development of a child, more fruits, vegetables, unsalted nuts, seeds and whole grains need to be introduced into the diet. It is worth paying attention to low-fat dairy products. A balanced diet should include more lean meat, chicken, fish, beans, peas, soy and eggs. It's also a good idea to limit your intake of foods high in salt, sugar and fat. We are mainly talking about soda, fast food and sweets.
How can you help your child?
The transition to a new diet should be done gently so that it does not become additional stress for the teenager. To do this, the institute has formulated several simple tips:
- Replace butter and margarine with olive oil;
- Bake dishes rather than fry;
- Use less salt in cooking and remove the salt shaker from the table;
- Set out fruits or vegetables in case you want a snack;
- Limit your sugar intake. If you want something sweet, choose dried fruits;
- Focus on the fact that a standard portion should consist of half vegetables and fruits.
- Don't forget to lead by example. Your teen will be more willing to eat a healthy diet if you keep him company.
In a healthy body healthy mind
To tell you how important physical activity is for a growing body, I turned to the recommendations of the World Health Organization (WHO). The organization believes that children aged 5 to 17 years old should exercise at least an hour a day, and preferably more. In this case, classes can be divided into several parts and performed throughout the day.
At the same time, WHO advises to engage in active sports at least three times a week, including those that strengthen muscles and bones. In other words, teenagers need to run and jump more often; active games are suitable for this.
How can playing sports help a teenager?
The organization’s specialists note that sufficient physical activity helps a child on all fronts:
- Stimulates healthy development of bones, muscles and ligaments;
- Strengthens and develops the cardiovascular system;
- Allows you to improve coordination and balance;
- Has a beneficial effect on weight.
At the same time, WHO notes that playing sports psychologically supports the child, reducing the risk of depression and anxiety. Moreover, team games help you become more confident, make new friends and hone your social skills. Experts also note that physically active children are more willing to adopt healthy habits from their peers and do better in school.
How to explain to a teenager that this is important to him?
Psychologist Alexander Shakhov says that children learn not from notations, but from role models. This is built into the “program” of every child. Therefore, an effective way to teach him something is to show him by example. This is due to the fact that the child unconsciously imitates “surviving individuals”, so before adolescence it is better to use this technique when raising children.
With the onset of adolescence, the situation changes. The psychologist notes that during this period the child begins to feel independent - this is an important stage in personality development. Teenagers cannot yet sensibly assess their strengths, so they can push their parents away too hard. It is precisely because of this that there are so many nihilists and maximalists among them.
The warmer and more trusting your relationship with your child is in childhood, the easier it will be to communicate with a teenager, but this is not always the case. “If you try to impose your own model of behavior on a teenager, then most likely it will cause negativity. ““Do as I do, I follow a daily routine, follow it with me” - this will not work with a teenager,” the specialist emphasizes.
Different tactics needed
The psychologist believes that if contradiction and misunderstanding grow in a teenager’s communication with his parents, it is necessary to move away from his own example. Pay attention to emotional contact, understand what is happening to the child, how he lives. Under no circumstances should you criticize a teenager or belittle his point of view or interests. Instead, you need to wisely use what interests him.
It’s worth taking a child’s idol and finding in his biography something that can be used to motivate a teenager
For example, if a child loves music, then casually tell how following a daily routine helped this musician record an album, which later entered all the charts. Or how a successful athlete achieved considerable success by exercising regularly in the morning and watching his diet. The main thing in this situation is to do it casually and without pressure.
“Teenagers are smart. Despite the fact that they do not have any worldly wisdom, they perceive and evaluate new information very well. Therefore, you need to be reasoned with a teenager,” the psychologist emphasizes.
Not only the child should have a role model
Don’t forget about yourself: it’s important to show your child that there are authorities for you too. Due to their mental characteristics, children and adolescents imitate their parents. For example, tell us how the performance of an athlete influenced you as a child and you began to do exercises.
Motivation is needed to form a habit.
Motivation is a matter of patience. The goal is to give a person the fuel to form a habit, such as maintaining a daily routine.
Any habit is formed quite slowly; there are two main factors in this process: little effort and consistency. Start small: if you want to get your child to follow a daily routine, you first need to push him to get up at the same time or make the bed. Do this for a couple of weeks. Once this is established, move on to the next task.
If you want your child to strictly follow the regime, first look at yourself. “If parents themselves do not follow the daily routine, then this will be a sign for the teenager that what they are trying to force them to do is a hypocritical step. If you want to demand or expect others to do this, first you need to do it yourself,” the expert concluded.
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Photo: Shutterstock (Stokkete)
How to get a teenager to clean his room? Recommendations for parents of teenagers.
The mere phrase of a teenager’s parents “clean your room” already causes groans and cries of protest among teenagers. Rarely does a teenager look forward to putting clothes away, tidying up the bed, wet cleaning, or vacuuming the carpets. To still achieve cleanliness and order, while avoiding yelling and threats, parents of a teenager can try a trick by trying to make the cleaning process more interesting with the help of games, rewards and other fun forms of motivation that will encourage the teenager to pick up a broom for cleaning. dust.
Parents of a teenager can turn ordinary cleaning into an interesting event.
The prospect of spending the afternoon alone in a dirty room will not motivate a teenager to clean, so the teenager's parents can invite a couple of friends over to help him. But most friends are unlikely to show any desire to vacuum or dust. It's worth sweetening the invitation with promises of special treats such as lemonade and cake or pizza for everyone after the room is cleaned.
Parents of a teenager can encourage their child to give to charity.
Many teenagers are not indifferent to the world around them and to people suffering from poverty. Parents of a teenager can support the development of social consciousness in him by offering to collect unnecessary things after cleaning, put them in order, sort them and donate them to a good cause. You can advise teenagers to form a group and collect everything that they no longer use, this way the donation will be more significant.
Parents of a teenager can make the new interior design an excuse to clean.
Parents of a teen can combine cleaning with decorating to make both activities more interesting. If a teenager, son or daughter, is talking about changing the design of their room, then general cleaning should be a prerequisite, since applying a layer of new paint, rearranging furniture, changing bedspreads and curtains in the room requires perfect cleanliness. To keep their teen stimulated and inspired, parents of teens can create a plan that includes looking at interior design plans online and visiting stores that offer wall paint, shelving, and other renovation items.
Parents of a teenager can hide little surprises in the room.
Anything from socks to homework can be lost in an untidy room, but creative parents of a teenager can take advantage of this situation. Before entrusting your teenager with cleaning his room, you can hide pleasant surprises for him, which he can discover when he starts dusting, vacuuming, and putting things in their places. For example, you can put a bag of candy under a pile of clothes or a gift certificate between written sheets. Girls will be pleasantly surprised to find new cosmetics in different corners of the room, while boys will be delighted by car magazines or a new T-shirt.
how to get a guy to study
This year everything turned out extremely well: Easter, the weather, and health! The only thing is that I was completely unprepared for Easter in terms of Easter cakes, eggs, lighting, Easter. This year I realized that I don’t want to and I don’t have time. Yes, I admit, with three it became really bad over time, especially for such grandiose tasks as washing windows, general cleaning and cooking dough and cakes. This is despite the fact that Natasha is basically calm, sleeps like a gopher at night, now from 11 pm to 6-7 am. There is a suspicion that menstruation will come earlier than with Misha, with such night breaks in feeding. At the same time, during the day she eats a lot and greedily, to the point of vomiting. I’m afraid to even weigh her, because a week ago she was 5700, and clothes of size 62 are difficult to fasten. She looks like a three-month-old baby, plump as a bun. Natasha also discovered she was allergic to her mother’s coffee, so she’ll have to stop. But it doesn’t last long, Misha had it too, but it went away by 6-8 months. In short, lack of time forced me to order window cleaning from professionals, Easter cakes were purchased from Elena, and gorgeous gingerbread cookies and macaroons were also ordered there for gifts. Mmmm! I can’t do this, but my men and my gifted friends were delighted.
So I did some shopping, asked Kolya to leave at school, loaded the trunk full with “only the essentials” and drove to the dacha right on Friday morning. Me and three children. I thought there would be problems, but we were lucky with the road, mood and health. No one was sick, Natasha was sleeping - not crying, Misha was sleeping, and Kolya only asked 10 times how soon we would arrive. I got there in less than 2 hours, although I had to go through the center; the Moscow Ring Road was stopped by the time we left.
The comments from drivers in a traffic jam on the Moscow Ring Road were something like this: hey, you with tomatoes. Why the hell did they get caught during rush hour? Was it really impossible to leave at night? I realized that I didn’t leave with my “tomatoes” at night either, so I chose a detour route through the center. And still I got there quickly, almost 130 km from 8.30 to 10.15.
The village greeted us well! The kids immediately went for walks, ride scooters, bikes and just run. And so the whole three days passed. We also went fishing for the first time in our lives. My brother gave the children each a fishing rod, and appointed his daughter Nastya, our older sister, as the main one. She also taught my boys to fish; I had no time. I, like a Malibu lifeguard, sat with Natasha on the shore in case of a sudden dive.
We caught two fish, Nastya caught both. But there was a lot of happiness, and everyone still demanded that the banquet be continued.
On Sunday we said Christ with our family and neighbors and went to barbecue.
I love barbecuing! It’s good that Natasha deigned to sleep.
Such an Easter May Day!
