“How to Keep Love,” James Vaughan et al.

What is love?

Every person has their own ideas about love. Some people call love an all-consuming passion, others the impossibility of living without a lover even for a day, others the desire to care for and protect your chosen one. There is love-mania, and there is a mother’s love for her children, love for God. A person can experience the whole range of feelings, but without the following factors, a love relationship is impossible:

• mutual interest, sympathy;
• sexual desire, intimacy;
• obligations (loyalty, caring, etc.)

Of course, the characteristics of love do not end there. For most, the desired (or mandatory) attribute of a relationship is: tolerance and acceptance of each other’s shortcomings, the desire to give, respect, understanding, common interests, the ability to support in difficult times. Having such a close, beloved person is real happiness.

Family relationships

In a family, most often the relationship of the spouses is built on the note that the guy and girl initially chose before entering into a marriage. As a rule, in a civil marriage there is a different degree of relationship. In this case, the partners do not feel fully responsible for living together, but many couples take living together seriously, and besides, there are property relations involved.

Civil marriage is not the full extent of the union of a man and a woman, in which partners allow expenses at any time until the relationship is sealed with a stamp in the passport. In fact, this is really a formality, since marriage only carries with it the responsibility of the spouses before the state and the law.

The psychology of marital relations is a complex mechanism that is built on the initial foundation laid by a guy and a girl in their youth. All people are different in nature, temperament, thinking and perception. In order to make it easier to understand the basic principles and understand what a relationship in marriage is, let’s look at some periods that spouses experience in family relationships.

Periods

The stages of a relationship include several levels that occur one after another, ultimately leading to the creation of marriage. If even one element is excluded, then the relationship collapses.

• Romantic . In this case, between the chosen ones there is a strong attraction to each other, craving and interest. They strive to explore this world together, travel, and enjoy various little things. This whole process is usually called the “candy-bouquet” period, in which both partners wear “rose-colored glasses.”
• Sex in relationships . An integral part of love relationships between partners. For some, what was forbidden in the romantic period of a relationship becomes a fundamental detail in the union. Sexual relations are one of the main steps in family and free relationships.
• Social . The level at which the determination of sociological factors in a couple occurs, which includes: partners’ hobbies, social status, common interests and understanding of the real world, perception of the environment, as well as raising children and general social circle. In principle, this stage is present in all types of relationships between people.
• Level of “mature” love . Unfortunately, at the present time, not every couple comes to this stage. At this stage, a man and a woman are clearly defined, not based on an emotional level, but already perceive their spouse as a support, a close friend and the most dear person in their world. In this case, you see your chosen one as an ideal person, and not his image.

At any stage of the relationship between a man and a woman, a crisis occurs, especially after one year or 5 years of marriage. This is not to say that this is a bad relationship, but under the influence of many external factors, mutual understanding and interests can crack. This is why many married couples are trying to figure out how to refresh their relationship and what it should be like.

What destroys feelings?

Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever, not even love. You can read about feelings that are not subject to time and the blows of fate except in books. Even the strongest love can be destroyed by everyday life, difficult financial situation, distance, disability of a partner, etc. Each has its own reason. However, psychologists identify 10 factors that can destroy love feelings very quickly:

• dissatisfaction with the partner and oneself, rejection, desire to re-educate;
• inability to come to an agreement, hushing up problems and grievances;
• indifference, lack of attention to the partner;
• inability to forgive, accumulation of negative emotions;
• pathological jealousy;
• insincerity, lies;
• mistrust;
• nagging, frequent conflicts over trifles;
• public showdown;
• material, everyday difficulties, illnesses and other blows of fate

Serious feelings do not disappear overnight. Almost any relationship difficulty can be solved if you know how to maintain love. The main thing is to avoid the point of no return, when your partner becomes completely cold and disappointed in you.

If you want to keep a man's love: tips

Many people wonder how to keep a man's love. It is difficult to preserve all the feelings and relationships that you experienced at the beginning of the relationship, but it is still possible. Especially if you learn to forget all negative emotions and experiences. And they are remembered seriously and for a long time.

If you have been married for many years, then you have probably noticed changes in your character. Accordingly, this affects your relationship. The phrase is often heard in families: “When we first got married, you were different.” I would like to ask, were you different? Take a closer look at yourself first. Maybe you didn't have a fight because your spouse didn't take out the trash, but now it makes you mad.

Understand that everyone changes over the years, including men. If he doesn't give you attention, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it means he just doesn't want to. If you are looking for a lifeline for your family and don’t know how to keep a man’s love, then first of all reconsider your behavior. Remember what you were like in the first few moments of your love and become the same.

Try to reboot your family life. Make your spouse fly home again instead of dreaming of meeting friends after work. So, to keep your love alive, follow these tips.

1) Change often. Go to a beauty salon, get a manicure and pedicure. A man will never stop loving a well-groomed woman.

2) Try changing your clothing style. Have you ever worn a skirt? So dress her up! Let your husband see your beautiful legs.

3) Try to please your husband every day. For example, today prepare him his favorite pie, and tomorrow, before his arrival, give him a relaxing bath and massage.

4) Naturally, sex plays a significant role. Most couples break up due to problems in bed. Eliminate the words “I’m tired,” “I have a headache,” and “I want to sleep.” If you really want to save your marital relationship, then be always ready for sex. Psychologists advise women to imagine sex as a vacation. That is, if you are tired at work, wait for your husband and he will “cure” you. And you feel good, and the man will not go to the left.

5) Of course, don't forget about role-playing games. All men have their own fantasies about who he wants to see you as. All you need to do is find out and buy the right suit.

So, dear women. If you don’t know how to keep a man’s love, just be a little wiser and praise your spouse more often, even in small things.

Love in a relationship

The relationship between a guy and a girl, the feelings between them, are significantly different from love in marriage. This is where problems and difficulties arise. Most often, young couples complain about unsuitable friends, differences in aspirations and views, frivolity, infidelity, and lack of external attractive qualities. When problems arise in relationships, young people often behave childishly - they speak harshly, manipulate and in every possible way provoke their partner to react.

For some reason, many people think that when they get married, the problems will disappear on their own or the beloved will not go anywhere. But starting a family only makes the problem worse. Hence the sad statistics on divorce - more than 50%.

To maintain love in a relationship, it is important to understand that it must evolve. The dating period is the time to get to know your partner, learn to negotiate and accept with him. The logical conclusion of a relationship is marriage. In order not to destroy, but to preserve love at this moment, you should:

• commit to being faithful, honest, and attentive to your partner;
• express your love not only in word, but also in deed;
• trust your partner more than others;
• spend time together with interest and benefit, develop;
• be restrained, resolve conflicts calmly;
• criticize rarely and exclusively constructively;
• support in difficult situations;
• strive for independence, not depend on the parental family.

It is important to understand that it takes two people to work on a relationship. Love can only be preserved through joint efforts.

Do not think that your love will always be as bright as in the first years of your life together.

Any married couple periodically experiences periods of cooling off. Spouses simultaneously or one by one stop feeling love for their significant other. And that's okay.

Don't be scared if this suddenly happens in your family. You need to be able to treat this correctly. The problem for many couples is that once they enter this cold period, the spouses give up. They think their marriage is doomed.

With this attitude, the consequences of this period can be catastrophic for both.

What should be done in this case? Even if the cooling-off period has dragged on and you feel that your spouse no longer evokes vivid emotions in you, remember the times when you experienced passionate feelings for him.

Remember those moments that delighted you. Think about why you fell in love with this person, because he has not changed, and his best qualities still remain with him. If the spouses do not give up during the cooling-off period and fight for their marriage, they will definitely wait until the moment when feelings flare up with renewed vigor.

This is as inevitable as a cooling off period. Perhaps these feelings will be painted in different colors, they will not be as romantic, but this does not mean that they will become less strong. True love over the years, like good wine, acquires its nuances and becomes stronger.

One of the women Tracy Cabot asked a question shared her secret to happiness. Barbara dated her future husband for five years before the wedding, and after the wedding their marriage continued to last for another eighteen years.

Love in marriage

Having entered into marriage, a couple may become very cold towards each other after just a few years. You get used to everything good quickly. What initially excited and aroused admiration becomes commonplace. Often, spouses turn into cohabitants, who are connected only by living together. Some people are torn apart by the birth of a child. It would seem like a happy event, but in reality it is still a test for the family. What if suddenly someone remains unemployed? In short, problems in marriage are through the roof.

Is it possible to maintain love in marriage? Of course. Only in this case it is important to understand that feelings will no longer be as hot as at the beginning. Love in marriage is calmer and deeper. After ten years, the spouses become not only friends and lovers, but also relatives. To maintain good relationships in the family and carry your feelings through the years, you need to listen to the following advice:

1. Maintain passion. Of course, marriage is relaxing, but you need to try your best to be physically attractive to your spouse. It is also important to arrange romantic evenings, to please, intrigue, and delight each other.
2. Be friends. Husband and wife should be the closest of friends. This is the basis of love. Feelings may temporarily cool down and change, but respect, good attitude and mutual assistance inherent in friendship will help overcome any crisis moment.
3. Enduring crises with dignity. External problems should bring spouses closer together. Facing life's challenges together is an extremely important skill for a family. You cannot reproach or blame your partner. The husband may well wash the dishes himself if his wife is sick. And the spouse at some point can provide for the family if the spouse loses his job. We need to look for a compromise everywhere and always.
4. Be patient and forgiving with each other. We are all not perfect; we all have a few flaws. To maintain love in a marriage, it is important to be able to turn a blind eye to them.
5. Forgive, do not accumulate grievances. It is important to remember only positive moments. Of course, this does not apply to serious situations when the only way out is to get a divorce (repeated infidelity, beatings, despotism, etc.)
6. Follow family traditions and create your own. For example, going to the mountains every summer or making pizza together on Sundays. Family customs help spouses to unite and feel like one.

Free snippet - How to keep a man with zero effort

INTRODUCTION

My book is for WOMEN who are addicted to the attention of men. Addiction is a channel through which men drain strength, energy, health, years and even money from us. I will explain how this channel is formed, how it works, and I will teach you how to switch it and make it work in your favor. For you, problems such as coldness, inattention, indifference of the opposite sex will disappear forever, you will have other problems: manic importunity of former and current men, some of them will get confused, even go crazy, but these will no longer be your problems, let them read books, study women's psychology. Someone will fuck off, just those unworthy male consumers who will understand that there is nothing to catch here, there are no fools, as they say.

From the outside my philosophy may seem too rigid, but it gives true pleasure from life. But once upon a time I was a very “good, kind and understanding” depressed woman who suffered fiasco with interesting, brutal men and beat the tails off of boring, ordinary guys. But now different men confess their love to me, but this is not the main thing, the main thing is that I feel free from them.

There is a lot of information on this topic, you can simply drown in it. Most psychologists teach to please a man, to create comfort for him, as long as he is nearby, sometimes they even suggest that next to a man who is “lame on one leg,” he should become “lame on both legs,” just so as not to hurt his pride, that is, they put emphasis on “happiness.” " men. But a man’s happiness and a woman’s happiness are of a different nature. You cannot make a man happy for a long time, for example, with care, attention and affection, faithful unconditional service. I went through it all, from beginning to end, and all I got was black ingratitude. I finally understood what men really lack to build stable, manageable relationships.

The fundamental difference between my philosophy is that it cares about how a WOMAN will FEEL next to the man with whom she interacts, and it absolutely does not matter to her how he feels. Because she knows what exactly, in fact, on a very deep level, he needs, and not what he thinks. Hence the problems in relationships: we think one thing, say another, and do something completely different. We are driven by very deep unconscious processes, which I will tell you about. After a long philosophical search, I chose MYSELF, which I advise you to do!

I apologize in advance if my book offends and hurts someone’s feelings, especially men, because we are on opposite sides of the “barricades” and I will always be on the side of women. It’s not me who is “evil,” it’s nature that has arranged you in such a way that you don’t understand “good.”

I took part of my knowledge from Vedic lectures. I consider Vyacheslav Ruzov my spiritual mentor. The other part is my own work.

Who is interested in my education? I am a certified psychologist, personal growth coach, an experienced specialist in the methods of “Symbolic Modeling”, “Clean Space”, “Spiritual Choice”. I have been consulting since 2008, you can read about me here

Everything I write about in this book, all ideas and concepts, have been tested by me personally through my own experience and they work.

Why I took the responsibility to write this book is because I feel very confident around men, at any stage of our relationship, even in conflict with them, I’m like a fish in water. After breaking up with a man, I feel even better than in a relationship, because they are tiring.. Men are actually interesting only from a distance, when they are a “mystery” for us; when the “mystery” is solved, they become simple and understandable “how brothers” and the attitude towards them changes.

In this book, I set the task, using my personal example and the example of some of my friends, to demonstrate to you a model of protecting yourself from unpromising relationships, I will teach you spiritual vision, how to see in a person in advance, before entering into a relationship, your future prospects, to see destiny person and a possible scenario for your future relationship.

You will create an impenetrable shell for yourself, you will never again be deeply offended or abandoned by men. This book is about how to survive, not to be deceived, intimidated, or manipulated. I will tell you about our weak points, about the weak points of men. About how to set psychological traps and not fall into the traps of others. I don’t have a task to teach you to deceive, use men, harm them, no, my task is to teach you to defend yourself, not to fall for the bait, not to let yourself be used, to find inner peace and adequate self-esteem. I will teach you to be happy, REGARDLESS of whether you have a man or not.

We were severely deceived in childhood, having been taught that it was men, family and children who would bring us happiness. By this logic, having lost a man or a child, we are doomed to be unhappy. But philosophy cannot be taken away from a person. Happiness can only be in the correct attitude, in an adequate assessment of reality. For many of you, this book will be a shock, a kind of challenge for men and some women who, not understanding male psychology, play the role of mommy for them, fiercely protect them, counting on gratitude and love.

Looking far ahead, I will say, and later I will prove, that normal men love to be under stress, they love difficulties consciously and unconsciously. They love hunting, boxing, war, fast driving, extreme sports... For the same reason, they love strangers and married women, women who reject them... This is the principle on which my concept is based. This is what I will tell you in detail how to apply this male feature.

Backstory, where it all started

We women all want to find personal happiness. Sometimes we “hunt” men, and then often we ourselves become their prey. It happens that after a man has achieved a woman, he begins to behave like the last scumbag, and the woman becomes an antelope in the clutches of a predator. This is a scary and strange sight, because no matter how badly men in this situation treat us, we continue to love them. To love and suffer. The mind insists that this is the end of the relationship, but the heart cannot tear itself away from this man.

Until I was 37, I constantly found myself in this situation. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong, why the relationship suddenly began to collapse. No matter what I did, sooner or later the X hour would come, after which everything would go downhill. And the strangest thing is that there was no obvious reason. For my part, I did not give any reason for such a drastic change in attitude towards me. Even eminent psychologists could not explain anything to me, except for the verdict that this is not my man, and that I need to respect myself. But I really wanted to get to the bottom of the truth, realizing that I couldn’t come across “not my” men all my life and my self-esteem seemed to be fine.

One day I overheard a Vedic lecture, and one single thought from the lecturer subsequently turned my whole life upside down. It said that the peculiarity of a man’s psyche is such that, having received the desired sex from a woman, no matter how good it is, he smoothly and slowly loses interest in this woman. But for women it’s the other way around. Even if she didn’t really like the man at first, after sex she becomes attached to him.

It was like I was struck by lightning. I listened to this lecture again and again. Until that moment, it seemed to me that it was sex that could cement a relationship, or rather not sex, but a man’s emotions. death itself to enjoy this state, but that was not the case.

At that time, I had a spiritual attachment to one man, who, having played enough with me, began to move away from me. What was interesting to him at the beginning of the relationship began to irritate him, and my stories about my hobbies, which became the reason for our meetings, no longer impressed him. He used to invite me to restaurants and listen to me for hours about my successes in the field of psychology, about my esoteric studies. He helped me with the car. A month later, he began to literally shut my mouth, snap at me, and get irritated at every occasion. We had a fight. The “Queen,” whom he listened to without taking his eyes off her, suddenly felt like he was below the plinth. My mind said that this was all - a period, but I felt that between us there seemed to be some kind of invisible rope that was drawing my soul to him. Moreover, it was not love, but something incomprehensible, similar to aggression. All my attention was focused on him. My hands wanted to write him abusive SMS. I could not control this process in any way. I wanted to put pressure on him, to call him to conscience and responsibility, but all this was useless. Like peas hitting a wall. I began to remind him of his promises, but he constantly pretended to be a fool, pretending that he did not understand me, saying that I had gone crazy.

At that time, I already owned one wonderful psychotechnic that allowed me to present a problem in the form of metaphors and images, and transform an unwanted image into a desired one. But I had never been able to transform this very attachment, this rope connecting me to him, despite the fact that in other matters the technique worked perfectly. And only after listening to Vedic lectures, it was as if somewhere above I was given permission to get rid of this problem. During the next “visualization” session, the rope broke. And since then she never returned to me.

I was able to explain to myself what happened. I have even developed a whole philosophy on this topic, which I want to share with you, with those who find themselves in the same situation as me.

After that “session” I lost the desire to write anything to this man. I let go of the situation and forgot about him. After some time, he began to write to me again, inviting me on a date, but this no longer made any impression on me. In the end, he told me not to be capricious, but to agree to what he was offering me. He made me understand that there is a lot of competition among women. Despite this, I sent him to hell and received a huge feeling of satisfaction from this, I just exhaled.

I crawled out from under the baseboard, under which he had driven me, and we switched places. And the most amazing thing is that I realized that apart from this “rope” there was nothing, no love. He could not, as a man, make me fall in love with him, but in some strange way I fell into his network.

He was dull, ugly and not my ideal when it came to sex. Among his only advantages was the fact that he was rich and well-groomed. He was generous for the time being. It was also captivating that even at the very beginning of the relationship he talked about wanting to have a child with me. Not that he promised, but he said this thought out loud, and my subconscious latched on to these words.

Later, a few years later, I received a call from my former place of work and was told that a man was very interested in me. He found out where I was and what I was doing; by the phone number I realized that it was him. He was not looking for a meeting with me, but he was very interested in my life.

Without this same veil and rope around my neck, I began to look at men differently. I began to see their real faces, their hidden spiritual strengths and flaws, their true attitude towards me and towards women in general. It became easy for me to calculate their future actions and the prospects of relations with them far ahead. Now I don’t have to date a man for a long time to understand whether he is right for me or not. There is no need to sleep with him and waste time on him.

Men's attitude towards me also changed. They began to pay me a lot of attention, which often even becomes intrusive, some even try to control me, get into my phone, read my SMS, dates have become long and tiring, from which they have to escape, coming up with all sorts of tricks. For this reason, I can’t be with them for a long time, men stress me out. Sometimes I even want to return everything back, to yearn for someone, but I can’t go back, the changes have gone very deep, and I honestly admit that I have turned into a cool, harsh, bad, very bad, free and happy woman..

Chakras as levels of human development

I want to invite you to consider men from an unusual point of view. I will write a little about the theory of the human energy structure, and then you will understand what it is for.

I took the chakra system as a basis, since it is a universal knowledge that is suitable for describing any life experience. However, I use it in a very narrow analysis, namely in the study of the behavior of men, so in no case should everything given below be compared with religious and esoteric categories.

A chakra is an energy structure of the body that is responsible for one or another segment of life. It is a point of perception and a way of interacting with the world. A person has seven of them, they are located vertically one above the other along the spine.

The lower muladhara chakra is responsible for survival instincts: the search for food, drink, warmth, safety. Primitive animals live at this level, people who are probably homeless. Their immediate thoughts are where to eat and get warm and spend the night. The rest of the joys of life are inaccessible to them. Alcoholism and drug addiction automatically transfer a person to this chakra in the stage of his intoxication. Therefore, he can steal and hit and kill, and for him this will be the “norm” in his reality.

The second chakra “svadhisthana” is the sexual chakra. People who perceive the world only through this chakra are puzzled by sex, food and other carnal pleasures. Of the extreme forms, these are maniacs, pedophiles, lovers of pornography, orgies. And among ordinary men, these are those who, looking at the world, see women (or men) and consider them only from the point of view of sex. I include street hookers, regulars of various dating sites, pick-up artists, most non-Russians who pester you on the street, or other partygoers. I'm not talking about social differences, mind you, but about the chakra of perception of the world. Such people can be of absolutely any social level. Such men pay attention to the external forms of women and their likely availability and the compliments they give are precisely aimed at their external qualities. (how beautiful you are, your breasts are so sexy, your figure is great, invite me for coffee, let’s come to me...)

The third chakra, Manipura, is responsible for friendship and communication. These are people whose attention is focused on finding friends, connections, and seeking benefits.

These are traders and entrepreneurs. These are men who love to talk, they don’t mind having sex with you, but they still want to talk))) These could be gigolos. That is, they no longer evaluate women by external data, but by the benefits that they can get from her. These are men who use women without offering them anything adequate in return. All types of civil marriages are at this level, and below, neither the woman requires commitment nor the man. A man pays attention to whether a woman has her own home, what kind of job she has, what connections she has, and whether she has money. Is she able to take care of herself if something happens? If a woman herself is on this chakra - she is proud of her material achievements, she is at great risk of ending up in the hands of a marriage swindler.

This can be a relationship according to the scheme you give me - I give you. A man buys a woman, and her responsibilities include: always being beautiful, ready for sex and always being in a good mood.

The fourth level of “anahata” is the level of love and responsibility. A person thinks in completely different categories. A man is looking for a wife, and a woman is looking for a husband. Such a man will not take advantage of a woman if he does not want a serious relationship with her. He reasons like this: why would I take up time from this woman. She is good, she is worthy, I will not deceive her and take advantage of her. Also, a woman on the anahata chakra is looking for a husband, not a lover, because... she is not interested in sex, not friendship, not profit, she is interested in the feeling of security that only a worthy husband can give her and her children. When meeting such men, they ask: do you have a husband, children, about your health, do you want more children?.. They consider you as the mother of their children and the mistress of the house. It was according to this scheme that my mother got married at 64 years old. The man was a widower, his dacha neighbor walked and walked, asked and asked, then invited her to the closing of the dacha season with friends in his large company, consisting of only athletes, doctors and retired teachers, and then proposed to her. Mom appreciated his “anahata” environment and his dignified approach to her, and they still live happily.

The fifth level “vishuddha” is the voice chakra. This is the level of spiritual teachers and mentors. These are teachers, philosophers, priests, politicians. Some are ready to abandon the family in favor of society.. The responsibility is broader, not for a specific woman, but for a group of people, humanity as a whole. People have little interest in intersexual relations; they have higher goals.

I will not consider other chakras, because... they are no longer relevant to our topic.

Therefore, I recommend determining which chakra you are on and identifying your partner. And you will immediately understand where you are in your relationship and where you should move.

Don't let your partner bring you down in chakra, and don't lower yourself to his level. Understand that oranges don't grow on oak trees. There is no need to grasp and yearn for an irresponsible man. This is his philosophy, it is stitched to the brain and bones, he was shaped this way by the environment where he grew up. Keep the bar high and men will follow you. We women shape the moral character of our society. Men are by nature one chakra lower than us. She is a woman from God, more pure. And people are drawn to cleanliness, consciously or unconsciously. And where there are women, there are men.

All people have all chakras working at the same time, but one of them always dominates. People consciously and unconsciously “pump” their chakras.

“Svadhistan men” are hunters of the female body, they collect women, each time adding a new star to their virtual epaulets, which they are very proud of, they brag about it to other men, and often to women. In their own eyes, they consider themselves major generals, not realizing that they are at the lowest level of their spiritual development.

“Manipurists” pump up connections and money, this is a source of pride for them: cars, apartments, social status, and other achievements. Smart women understand that this is good, but not enough to build a happy relationship, because... the most important thing in a man is THEIR ATTITUDE TO WOMEN IN PRINCIPLE.

“Anahatniks” create strong spiritual relationships with women; they are looking for someone they want to make happy. They build a house to bring a wife there, they earn money to have wealth in the family, they strive to have children, educate them and raise them to be good people.

During the Vishuddha chahra, men write books, practice spiritual practices, create social movements, volunteer groups, charitable foundations, give lectures, and travel with seminars around the country.

When you meet a man, you can now easily determine his level of development and the possible scenario for your future relationship.

Dynamics of relationship development

If we draw a graph, we will see how, at the dating stage, a woman’s attachment to a man gradually and slowly grows. And the male one has a maximum degree from the very beginning and then, I’ll disappoint you now, it decreases very slowly and tends to zero. Nature itself arranged it this way. The point at which these graphs intersect is sex or the moment when a woman is “stuck” on a man and has lost control over herself, while the man automatically gains this control, and without any effort. Thus, the female curve goes up, and the male curve goes down. And you can't blame men for this. At the very beginning of dating, when a man sees a woman, he is 100% attracted to her. He thinks she is cool, beautiful, slim and has a good character. She is perfect for him. A man is ready to do anything or almost anything for her! Energy moves through the chakras from bottom to top. His sexual energy hits the lower chakra and tries to break out through sex. And he hits so hard that the man loses his head, he almost completely loses control over himself. A man cannot concentrate on work, he only thinks about you, he is as kind and caring as possible about you! It's like water in a tap putting pressure on a faucet. But if the tap is opened, the pressure on the higher floors will drop. So, if a woman is fascinated by a man’s caresses at this stage and allows the man to splash out sexual energy on the lower chakras, he will have no energy left for more decisive actions and responsibility!

Therefore, you must understand that when having sex with a man at the initial stage of dating, you sign an unspoken agreement:

It reads as follows:

I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THERE IS SEX AND OUR RELATIONSHIP MAY NOT GO AFTER, I UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT ALL RISKS. I UNDERSTAND THAT OVER TIME HIS PASSION WILL FAD TO NO AND I CAN STAY ALONE, PREGNANT OR WITH A CHILD AND WILL NOT MAKE CLAIMS.

For men, sex is not at all a reason to create a family and strong relationships. It's just to relieve yourself. No matter how offensive it may sound.

I suggest dotting all the “i’s” right away, then you can avoid unnecessary unpromising relationships. And do this gently, at the stage of acquaintance: ask him questions of a personal nature, where he studied, where he grew up, who he lives with, where he works, ask to see his page on social networks, add him as a friend... If a man does not want to answer these questions for you, he is 100% not going to build a serious relationship with you, and does not want to get burned. He won’t say where he lives, he will lie, and will divert the conversation in his direction. His questions to you will be focused on the topic of how soon and where you can have sex with him, so as not to waste time and money on you. The most standard phrase with which they try to deceive a woman: “I can’t decide at this stage about our future, I need to get to know you better, meet longer, no one knows the future, the ways of God are mysterious.. I need to “try”, understand how much we In sex we suit each other and blah blah blah.” You can't buy it here. If a man answers you this way, the best reaction is to laugh, end the date and offer to take you home. At this moment, you control his sexual energy, if he has a “plug” on the third floor, he will leave and look for another girl, more primitive and accommodating, and if there is hope for development, then he will continue to look after you and your relationship will move to a new level. Thus, with your sexual restraint, you filter men and stimulate their personal growth and shape the seriousness of your relationship.

Don’t be afraid to tell a man “no” and cut off calls and dates. You should always be the first to stop communicating, because you set your own rules of the game. As soon as a man sets his own rules, your game is lost, this relationship will not bring you anything good. You will have the kind of relationship that he wants, and no one will want to take on unnecessary worries of their own free will; all men want free, polygamous relationships. All married, faithful men are the prey of smart, tenacious women who have correctly placed their invisible networks and established their own rules of the game. Therefore, if a man cheats in marriage, it means that the woman on the subtle plane “allowed” him to do so. I know many stories where wives turn a blind eye to this because they do not know how to react correctly and value their marriage very much. True, marriages still break up, because men in their souls hate their wives for this and begin to fight so much that their wives can no longer cheat their souls..

When you tell a man “no,” it results in a very tricky energy exchange. A man constantly remembers you and gets a little angry with you. Thus, sending you the invisible energy of attention, even with a minus sign. But it is still energy that you can feed on. Your “no” is like a connection to his energy channel, to his ego, like “damage”. But be careful, in its crude form, “connection” can be dangerous for you. Do this very gently and tactfully within the context of your conversation. There is one subtlety here. You need to put the meaning you need into “no.” There are people from whom you don’t even need attention. If no is no, then say it clearly and convincingly, as if cutting an invisible thread between you, “no and this is not discussed.” If your no is a game, come up with a reason why not. You can discuss this. Remember Gogol's fairy tale about how Oksana sent the blacksmith Vakula to the queen herself for some slippers?! She made him overcome difficulties and thereby raised his value and made him a “hero”. In the end, everyone won. What would have happened if she had immediately said “yes” to him? It’s okay: I would have worn it out and quit. Therefore, by saying “no” to men, we really send them on an amazing, beautiful journey through their own chakras. And whoever returns with the slippers will receive a trophy. And if he doesn’t come back, it means he either doesn’t want to or is too weak in the gut, we don’t need him like that. A woman is valuable to a man precisely because of HOW MUCH ENERGY HE INVESTED INTO HER AT THE COURTING STAGE. And these are not just flowers, gifts and movies.. These are tough tests, “messages” to hell.. And the further you send him, the more he will appreciate you. Believe me, I know what I’m saying, I’ll give my head for every word! Send all your men away and wait for someone to return, and they themselves will give you a reason for sending them, don’t even doubt it. For example, he promised something important and did not do it. And the force of your push should be equivalent to his “jamb”.

I will describe the mechanism of how this works in even more detail in another chapter.

Therefore, it is much easier to keep the attention of dozens of men at a distance and enjoy it than to date one and try to maintain his fragile interest. And therefore, in principle, a woman can never be lonely! She knows how to feed on male energy without relationships and without sex.

Lack of sex is an INVISIBLE LEVER IN CONTROLLING A MAN!!!

Love at a distance

“Absence weakens small passions and strengthens large ones, just as the wind blows out candles and fans the flame” F. La Rochefoucauld

Long-distance relationships are a real torment for hearts in love. Intimate touching, hugging, looking at each other, sex are very important for a couple. Neither frequent phone calls nor video communications can replace this. When separated, lovers often develop distrust and anxiety that the partner will want to build a new relationship with someone else or will simply lose the habit and his feelings will fade away.

To maintain love at a distance, a couple must make every effort. What do we have to do:

1. Make joint plans for the future. Knowing that the separation will end is very important. Both must clearly understand that after a certain period of time they will be together and they just need to wait.
2. Talk about everything, consult, discuss the events of the day. Lovers should be completely involved in each other's lives. This will create a feeling of intimacy.
3. Avoid conflicts, smooth out rough edges. It is very easy to quarrel at a distance, but making peace is not always possible. A lover can simply turn off the phone and not get in touch. Therefore, it is better not to resolve controversial issues while apart.
4. Confess feelings, create romance. You can send each other postcards or order cute gifts delivered to your home. Have romantic evenings with a glass of champagne using Skype. Write poetry or prose, send photos. Show your imagination and you will definitely be able to preserve your love feelings.

Be on the wave! Be with us!

So that love does not fail.

Love can flare up in a second, but only a few can keep this flame in the soul, writes Cultura Colectiva. People meet, fall in love, start dating, and then live together. But very soon they discover that the relationship, so bright at first, begins to fade over time.

How to maintain novelty in a relationship and love even many years after the first kisses and confessions?

You can read about this in our article, and also enjoy the sensual illustrations of the Japanese artist Haruna Hiraizumi.

Using soft touches and a pastel color palette, he recreates an imaginary world full of innocence, love and fantasy. Here is his Instagram and official website.

Here are 12 tips to help you keep your love:

1) Confess your love to your partner - as often as possible. For no reason or special occasion, in the morning over a cup of coffee or in the evening before bed.

2) Spend as much time as possible together. It’s enough to just lie in each other’s arms, bodies touching.

3) Discuss your most absurd dreams and thoughts. Preferably in the morning at breakfast.

Let this be just your time. No social networks or newspapers. Just the two of you.

4) Even if you don’t have a common hobby, still show sincere interest in each other’s favorite pastime.

5) There is no need to try to change each other. Just be yourself - in any situation. This is the only way you will be comfortable in a relationship.

6) Support each other in any situation. You, of course, don’t need to ask to understand that your partner is feeling bad.

You feel it and immediately rush to console him. Without words or unnecessary explanations.

7) Your sex should not turn into a routine. Show your imagination, realize each other’s desires in bed, experiment - and your spark will never fade.

Don’t play the silent game, don’t accumulate problems, don’t harbor grudges, don’t create unnecessary tension.

Be mature and reasonable people, strive to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible.

9) Each of you should be satisfied - and in bed too. Work towards mutual pleasure. It is very important.

10) Fight for your relationship. Don't give up prematurely.

You will have to face many problems. Only the two of you can overcome all adversity.

11) Be grateful for what you have. Remember more often why you fell in love with your partner, think about how your life changes when he is around.

12) Your home is where your family is. Together you create an extraordinary atmosphere and comfort.

Only in each other's company do you feel calm and quiet joy.

Finding the love of your life is only half the battle; it is also important to be able to maintain this feeling for many years. We hope you succeed.

Love of a man and a woman

“When a man gets married, he hopes that his wife will remain the same, but a woman expects that her chosen one will become different” J. Gray

The famous American writer, psychotherapist, John Gray, who published a whole series of books “Venus and Mars,” insists that a man and a woman are fundamentally different creatures. What is important for a man is secondary for a woman, and vice versa. When entering into relationships, we most often judge by ourselves. But is this right?

As practice shows, it is necessary to preserve the love of a man and a woman in different ways. In order for a relationship or marriage to be happy, it is important to take into account important differences between the sexes:

• she needs care - he needs trust;
• she needs understanding - he needs acceptance;
• What is more important to her is respect - gratitude to him;
• she values ​​​​devotion more - he admires;
• she needs recognition - he needs approval;
• she needs reinforcement of confidence - he needs encouragement;
• It is closer to her to distribute and accept - to him to extract and conquer;
• she wants to direct his thoughts and desires - he makes decisions;
• she needs actions for her sake - he needs to act;
• she needs to make plans, dreams - he needs to bring them to life, creating his own unique world;
• she wants to feel belonging to a man - he wants to own a woman;
• it is like a vessel - it has energy, strength, information that fills it;
• she gives the form - he fills it;
• It is more important for her to interact with children and home - for him with the outside world;
• she wants to feel confident in the future - he wants to realize his abilities;
• It is important for her to feel like the only one, loved, desired - he is richer, more talented, stronger than everyone else;
• She is closer to spiritual and personal development - to him the generation of fantasies, games, plans.

So how to keep love? Personally, my secret is simple: to be humane to each other, tolerant and romantic. You need to focus on the positive, swear less, forgive. Love and be loved!

Irina, Irkutsk

How to maintain love and relationships for many years?

Why does love go away? Why does trust and openness disappear in relationships between men and women? Where does that romance go, that endless desire to be together, communicate, share everything in the world and always support each other? Why, having started to live together, a man and a woman move away from each other, every year they begin to communicate less and less often and share their most intimate things, they stop trusting each other and become like enemies. It often turns out that girlfriends or friends become closer to us than our partner.

Why is this happening? Why, at the beginning of a relationship, do we not even think about how to preserve love, and that it needs to be preserved at all? Many people, when getting married, think that the most important stage in the development of relationships is behind them and now they can finally relax and do nothing for the remaining years, enjoying what they have.

This is where the main mistake occurs. If you strive to maintain love and relationships for many years, then first of all you need to understand that family is work, and work every day.

I understand perfectly well that such things are not particularly pleasant to hear, but what can you do if you avoid reality, if you think that everything will happen by itself, after a while you can become very disappointed not only in each other, but also in the very institution of marriage.

Look, let’s say you successfully played sports for several years, you had good results, you were in great shape. But over time, sport faded into the background, or even completely disappeared from your life, but at the same time, the old memories of yourself as a hardy and athletic person remained in your memory. So, after a few years, you decide to resume training, and what happens? And natural things happen - your body is not the same anymore, it can no longer run for 40 minutes without a break, and then train intensively for 1.5 hours (dance, swim, exercise on exercise machines, etc.). I recommend reading about how to start playing sports in the article “How to force yourself to play sports?”

So it is with love in your relationship. If at the beginning of your acquaintance everything was wonderful, if you understood each other perfectly, and you were always interested in being together, this does not mean that after you got married and began to live together, you don’t need to do anything to develop or at least maintain your relationship.

Family and love are work. The work is daily, requiring your tireless attention, time and energy and, of course, periodic training. It's that simple. If you want to maintain love, trust and understanding with each other, you need to constantly invest your energy and attention into your relationship.

You can invest in different ways, but the main thing is that you stay in the family

common interests and communication.
If common interests go away, so will that secret, that intimate thing that used to bring you together. Even despite being tired and busy, always find time and maintain the spark that brings you together. Read the article “Talk the talk, don’t cook the cabbage soup .
For some, this sacred thing was traveling together in the mountains. Perhaps it was on one of these trips that you met, then you traveled together, but after you got married, everyday life and life’s problems took their toll and the VERY ONE thing that brought you together and made you one began to be forgotten.

For some, the secret that fueled love was reading books together, practicing music or painting, dancing, or singing. Now it’s time to renew the former interest.

For some, the secret thing that always brought them together and gave rise to unity and the feeling of being halves of a whole was cooking Sunday dinners together, or skiing in winter and biking in summer.

For some it is the desire for financial freedom and independence, for others it is a joint business, and so on.

The specifics don’t matter, the main thing is, don’t give up the common cause that brought you together before starting your family life . After all, people often start living together and abandon what they have always been interested in, what they could talk about for hours, discuss, argue and share with each other the nuances and subtleties that they know. And now, having started your family life, do not give up on your common interests. Let everyday life and natural life difficulties not distract you from the main thing - from the two of you. Since common interests are one of the most important in order to preserve love and maintain a strong and friendly family. Read the article “Know how to relax and be just the two of you.”

I remember when I met my future husband, it turned out that we were both passionate about sports (both went to the gym for several years, though each in his own city). And so, after several years of family life, we decided to resume our studies, but together. This was one of our most ingenious decisions, which helped to further strengthen and improve our relationship. Joint classes, connecting time, joint training, discussions about who does what exercises, an argument over which exercise is best for whom. Between approaches, when we have a rest, we discuss our affairs, share something, think about something together in a way that we could never do at home. After all, the house has its own energy, its own urgent matters that you want to do or not, but need to be done, children who tirelessly demand attention. But here it turned out that it is beneficial both for health and for relationships, in order to maintain interest in each other, to revive everything that was before. And new friends and acquaintances appeared.

Communication is also important. I'll say it again, read the article

“Psychology of communication, or “Talk the talk, don’t cook the cabbage soup,” but I want to dwell on this point again. After all, many simply do not realize the moment when intimacy and trust disappear from a relationship. And this happens when communication goes away. It is communication, not talk about everyday problems. It is communication, and not a discussion of who bought what, who went where, who will arrive and what time.

And in order for communication to be complete, it is necessary, firstly, time, and secondly, the person must be rested. So it turns out that after work you need to redo household chores, take care of the children, and, as many people think, there is no time left to communicate with each other. But this is one of the greatest misconceptions of man. There is a lot of time, an unlimited amount of it, it’s just that many of us ourselves do not know how to manage it.

Time is often wasted in vain and completely carelessly. So it turns out that every day I chatted with a friend on the phone for forty minutes, discussed the affairs of neighbors and relatives for an hour, watched TV for two hours - and that’s it, there was no time left for myself or my own affairs.

A few years ago I started thinking about how much time, effort and energy I waste thinking and talking about other people’s affairs and problems. After our family stopped discussing the lives of relatives, acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues, and so on, my husband and I just had a lot of time to communicate, discuss our dreams and interests, talk about who is striving for what who dreams of what and what they do in order to realize and fulfill their desires. You can read about the realization of desires, how to achieve success, how to become happy in the collection “A Ray of Light, or Journey into a Fairy Tale.”

And even earlier, at the very beginning of our family life, we decided that we would never have the main destroyer of family happiness - a television. One day my husband went and threw it into a trash container. So here I don’t even know what to tell you. If you have this real destroyer of your relationship at home, then try not turning it on for at least a week. And there is no need to say that this is how you relax after work. Watching TV programs makes it impossible to relax. You can truly relax only in silence, or spending time in nature. Or just wander the streets and think, or give each other a massage, or just lie down and sleep, and then pour some delicious tea, turn on the soft light, look into each other’s eyes and say: “Hello, how long has it been since we saw each other and talked?” . How are you How is your life?”, and then sit and remember the past, dream about the future and tell each other something good, bright and kind.

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