How to understand that a man loves you? Who is and how should a real loving man behave? The article provides three simple rules of male behavior that will help answer such important questions in the life of every woman or girl.
Rule 1. A man delineates boundaries and demonstrates “his”
A loving man is able to create a kind of invisible “magnetic field” around you, which repels other contenders for your attention, for your hand and heart, and even more so for other parts of the body. For us, such applicants are border violators. Our border!
To prevent these intruders from getting too close to the woman, the man demonstrates that this “territory” is already reserved for him. That this is “my girl”, “my Natalie”, etc. He will not only call you his, but also hug you in public for the same purpose or possessively take away all the bags that fit anything heavier than a purse and sunglasses. His message to those around him is this: let everyone see, she’s mine, don’t come near me! Behind this lies the same meaning as behind the road sign, popularly called “brick”. But his actions must be combined with words about “belonging” to him, otherwise hugs in the middle of the subway may simply mean nothing when a week later you or he are hugging someone else.
Listen to how we introduce you at a friendly party, in our get-together, to your mother, and finally, if by chance or not, it has come to this... As a rule, a woman is for a man exactly what he called her when introducing her to his surroundings.
In addition, those around him easily notice his gestures, signs of attention, casual phrases addressed to her. How he looks at her, how he talks to her, whether he helps her fit into the new environment. All this shows how this girl fits into his plans for the future. If you yourself feel that after six months of meetings you are not closer to him socially, then something is wrong. You don’t know his friends, relatives, you haven’t been to a single birthday or just a party, you haven’t relaxed together on a free day, in a conversation with work colleagues he simply calls you “Mary”... It’s worth confronting him - but above all, before ourselves - some questions. What's next, what are the prospects for the development of your relationship, where is your place in it, is there an alternative?
If you have been dating a man for three months and during this time you have not met his friends, at least partially his relatives, you have never been together on a weekend, you have not gone on nature trips or birthday parties, you have not gone to any interesting places , be it a museum, cinema or Christmas market, art exhibition or sporting event, if acquaintances or work colleagues only know you by name, then it is obvious that he does not see you in his future. And it’s the other way around, if you visited places that are significant to him and he assigned you some kind of “title” in front of people that are significant to him - well, at least he said “my girlfriend.”
Rule 2. A man helps financially
If you reciprocate his intentions about a future together, the guy begins to demonstrate the seriousness of these intentions - to work to ensure this very future. You are always interested in descending from heaven to earth on time and bringing down a man who claims rights to you. You women are often practical, unlike us men, and ask us questions in response to the intention to start living together: where, on what and how will we actually live? It often happens that you come across an empty-headed dreamer who is not yet ripe for family life, or simply a chatterbox who promises a lot, but has no idea how to realize his and your dreams in practice. Perhaps you, too, are hovering in such romantic clouds that love keeps you from escaping, and the hope of correcting, teaching, re-educating a dreamer or talker is the last to die and overshadows the eternal female instinct of stability. But know: a man who truly loves you will himself, without reminders, drag everything into the house, into the family.
A man's goal is to be sure that his woman and his children have everything they need: housing, food, clothing, the opportunity to study, funds for entertainment and the most comfortable life possible. Confidence in this gives each of us peace of mind. If a man feels that he cannot properly provide for his loved ones, this makes him insecure and restless. The feeling of our own powerlessness in any matter, when it is impossible to feel like a real breadwinner for our relatives, turns us into notorious neurasthenics.
These are the centuries-old traditions of society: the man is the breadwinner, the woman is the keeper of the hearth. Despite technological progress and the emancipation of women, this remains in men, and nothing has actually changed for us. If his woman suddenly starts earning more than himself, he may be happy for her, but something in him protests.
When a man is forced to accept his secondary role as a breadwinner, male pride suffers. Some men begin to feel like their wife’s big children if they have to rely on her money, plus her connections, talents and organization. By the way, this is where many men’s bad habits stem from. A man feels complete only when he can provide (and not only financially) for his loved ones.
Look at how your man behaves. Does he pay for electricity, water and gas, children’s education, buy and bring food? Does he remember to save money for the next renovation and a joint trip to the sea in the summer? Does he spend money on all sorts of nonsense and does he allow you to spend it on himself? Does he strive to earn more or does he expect this desire from you? If you constantly have to beg him for money, not for what he considers whims and excesses, but for the most necessary things, then it is unlikely that this person really loves you. A loving man will understand the needs of his woman, especially the paramount ones. You don’t forget to express your joy, admiration, and approval to him every time, do you? But each of your praise is extremely important for him as a breadwinner. She warms his male pride - if, of course, he is a real man. In this case, his own needs will fade into the background for him, and the needs of the family will always be in the foreground. If you see that this is not the case and that the situation is not going to improve, my advice to you is to pick up your stuff and run as far as possible from such a potential life partner!
It can be difficult for a modern woman to accept the idea that it is extremely important for a man to provide a woman with the necessary benefits. Men like it when women depend at least a little on men, when men earn, organize, get, find, bring, throw at their feet... Honestly, this feeling of one’s own strength and ability to solve all issues is damn nice for men! But the world has now turned upside down, and women no longer rely on men. If she experiences any difficulties, she will no longer say: “Maybe I should get married?”, but will say: “Maybe I should change jobs?” She herself will grab a ton of products from the store and hammer in the nails herself. Bravo, miss, this is worthy of respect! But she is unlikely to think about the simple idea that her actions may cause an internal protest among the majority of members of the opposite sex.
It is clear that, taught by the bitter experience of their own or other people’s mothers, who experienced tragic divorces and were left without money, and grandmothers who saw years of war, when it was impossible to rely on men, women of the new generation will never count on a man for key things. This is probably correct, because, let’s face it, there is logic in this. This triggers, if you like, your instinct of self-preservation (and procreation, what can I say).
But! All the same, admit the thought that the time will come when you won’t have to drag all this cart yourself. Most of the load from this cart will be taken by someone and put on his cart, and it will not be a friend, mother, kind aunt or someone else like that, but a man. Real and loving to you.
If a man does not make sure that you have shelter, food, everything you need, so that you are, if not in heaven, then at least relatively happy with everything, then do not forget that he will probably someday do all this for some some other woman. This behavior is simply dictated by a man’s nature.
It is clear that not all of us can provide you at the proper level - the way we ideally imagine it ourselves. Some lack knowledge, skills, diplomas, some character traits, some other resources... But there is another category of men - a man who evades. These are gigolos or egoists, and sometimes they are simply not fulfilled as individuals and therefore are not yet quite men. However, we must also admit that there are also simply stupid men who do not understand the significance of their male role. (It is in this case that the riddle is most easily resolved: you have nothing to expect from life with a stupid person.)
So, let’s leave those who are stupid, selfish and who have not matured spiritually enough to become breadwinners. Now let's deal with the rest.
Our attempts to provide for you sometimes fail. If we can't do it the way we think we should, it ultimately leads to a terrible feeling of inadequacy. As we have already mentioned, many bad habits grow from this feeling, the most common of which are drinking, drugs and gambling in casinos. But that’s not all: a sense of inferiority gives rise to crimes, the most “harmless” of which is petty theft. And sometimes things get serious. What happens? He committed to love and provide - instead he became an alcoholic. He undertook to groom and cherish - instead he went to prison. Yes, the picture is not so rare, right? But there is a third possibility of such a collapse of male usefulness: he took up the tug and, feeling that he was not strong, ran away. He took it and made his legs... How many women raise children alone? How many of these children do not see enough food, clothing, books?
Is it that the war has swept through and killed the men, or what? Maybe the devastation in the world after a global catastrophe? No, no, thank God! And God forbid, as they say. The picture is exactly this: men, or rather, part of them, cannot withstand what is traditionally imposed on them by society. And at the same time they experience their inadequacy. This, alas, is true!
We are not talking now about those who consciously, by their own choice, do not want to share their goods with other people, even with loved ones (“loved ones”, I think, does not apply here). A selfish person is most likely not ready for normal outside relationships. I’m not ready yet, and maybe not for life. He is always ready to take, take, take, without giving anything in return. But even in nature there is a cycle of water, energy and substances in living organisms. Relationships are also a kind of system and organism; without the exchange of energies, it dies.
These are men - egoists who came up with the term “extortionist”, not wanting or not having enough wealth to treat a lady to coffee, invite her to a movie or a restaurant. Perhaps the feminist movement played a significant role in this ideology of the new generation - every man for himself. They also welcome this “separate nutrition”.
Let’s not deny that there are also a lot of women who start relationships and enter into arranged marriages. At least they exist and have been at all times. But some men are ready to accuse every woman they meet of extortion! Well, the goal of twirling women and saving your money on a woman is clear. But a woman has every right to expect from a man material compensation for the time spent on him: payment for tickets, trips, movies, gifts, in the end. It is important for a man to feel that you need him. If this is not important to him, this is either not your man, or not a man in the full sense of the word. Be careful with this one!
The easiest way to show that you need us is to give us the opportunity to provide you with something you need. This is exactly how a real man will feel. The fake one will run away or evade. Here's your indicator.
If a man loves you, he will not spend money in an unknown place, and then complain that there is none because he doesn’t get enough. Love presupposes responsibility “for those who have been tamed.” Men love to feel responsible, smart, strong! Don't believe me? But this is true!
He won't burden you with men's problems. If your car breaks down, you don’t have to fix it yourself, and even if he is not a born auto mechanic, and there is no money to pay an auto mechanic, what do you think he needs friends for? Do you need to fix a faucet and he is not a plumber? He will find a way to do it! Have you decided to paint the fence around your house an unimaginable color? Since we are delighted with this, he will ask for a second brush, or even completely remove you from participating in the process, sending you to prepare something to chew. And if you need to thin paint or, God forbid, knock out one picket fence, you don’t have to run around the whole block looking for a hammer, because you had one lying around in the garage somewhere, but you don’t remember where, and you only remember what the hammer is for looks like the letter "T". He will solve such a trivial problem, rest assured!
Rule 3. A man protects you
There are situations when you can immediately draw “conclusions” about whether they love you or not: situations of threat.
It is not necessary that someone will threaten you directly. This could be verbal abuse, an attempt to drag you into something bad, simple pestering, ridicule, or someone's stupid joke. But for a loving man, each of these and similar situations are types of threat against you. He will react accordingly to this.
In the male understanding, no one should encroach on their woman and everything connected with her. Otherwise, the male reaction is one - defense. And if necessary, punish the offender. In other words, touch it and you will pay, villain!
Even in early childhood, boys are known to be more attached to their mother than girls. Later, this affection develops into a desire to always defend her if anyone tries to speak ill of her. We can say that the role of a protector in men is inherent in nature itself. Those we love are “ours” for men, which means we are fully responsible for this “ours”. There are women who call this possessiveness of men. We cannot say that they are wrong: yes, men are indeed owners to one degree or another. But men will always protect their property. If you want freedom, and you don’t want to be property in any way, in any form - free will, but... it’s a pity. After all, from now on you will have to defend yourself. There will be no one to say when they hear that you have taken a defensive position on the phone: “Who is this? Come on, give it to me!” — although this may just be your boss calling to give you some guidance that will make your world start to speed up. And you won’t give up the phone so that they don’t break your world’s neck. He can scold the child for not helping his mother around the house, but he will do this not because he does not feel sorry for your sixth-grader - he feels sorry for you! He longs for your release!
Protecting your woman, family, children, property is higher than the ability to provide for you; this is no longer food for pride, but an indicator of respect. And self-respect, which is important. No, there are, of course, men who are indifferent to this, whose pride and self-respect are silent, but such people are especially not respected and loved not only by a woman, but also by no one else. This did not develop over years or dozens of years, but over centuries: a man has always been considered protection, hope and support. Have you ever noticed how your conversation usually happens with a man who loves you, for whom you belong?
If this is your uncle, your husband or a guy you are recently dating, or an old friend, you will subconsciously share with him either the problem of the current moment, or a question that is tormenting you. You can say that you are afraid of something or are afraid that drunk people accosted you at the bus stop yesterday, you can answer his question: “How are you?” blurt out something like: “Oh, the shelf in the bathroom collapsed!” - “Really?” - your uncle, dad, fiance or brother will smile. (You often surprise us with your spontaneity.) And right off the bat - you'll see! - will offer something. Who hung that shelf? When will you be home, when will I come see you? Are there any nails in the house? What about the hammer? If he doesn’t ask, then either he doesn’t really like or value you, or he suspects that you don’t know what a hammer is.
A man can protect you in different ways, sometimes somewhat outside the framework of generally accepted norms. Speaking without embellishment, he can punch someone in the face or give someone a good shake by the collar. Or at least threaten to do so. This formidable determination is often quite enough to make it clear to the offender that they are not joking with him.
But brutality and physical impact are not at all necessary. Much more important is the daily desire to protect your energy, time, mood, health and safety. He sprinkles sand on the paths in the courtyard of your country house, although he is tired after a long journey - he is not indifferent to the prospect of you falling and, God forbid, injury, and he strives to protect you from this. Does he take everything heavy from your hands, walk through a dark neighborhood to the store himself, and at the first opportunity drop you off at work in his car, if you don’t have a car, a license, or the desire to get up early and take the bus? You see, all this is not without reason...
Nowadays, women often sigh and complain that there are no real men left. Every now and then we listen to stories with the conclusion that “without us these men are completely incapable of anything.” The truth is that men have a strong internal reason for not doing things that bring them closer to the standard of being a “real man.” This reason is that women do not require effort in this direction. And no one demands.
The main thing is to understand that men are completely different creatures than WOMEN, and therefore men’s love is not the same as women’s. For the “stronger” sex, love is divided into three components: I declare it, I provide it, and I protect it.
You won't be able to chat with men about new makeup trends. Men will not go with you to choose new shoes and a stunning blouse. But they will happily take you to a social party in this very makeup and in these very shoes that appeared without them, in order to be next to you when everyone, admiring you, will begin to envy them. A real man will not cross-stitch with you, but he will provide you with enough threads and needles and everything you need.
A man claims you, provides for you, and protects you when he loves you. If he doesn't do this, but you act as if his behavior suits you, then it won't last as long as you would like. After all, it is unknown whether a man will remember how a real man should act. He can remember this, but with another woman.
Ladies pay special attention to how their loved one affectionately calls them. Some men prefer the classic “sweetie” or “dear”, others try to be more original by using the names of animals or sweets. A word used incorrectly towards a woman can forever close the path to her heart. Psychologists have long discovered the fact that a man’s attitude can be recognized by the nickname he chose for his lady.
Love nicknames
Many men prefer to use familiar affectionate words. And they are more pleasant for women because they do not cause ambiguous associations.
Darling
This is what self-confident Don Juans call lovely representatives of the fair sex. This is an assertive heart conqueror who will stop at nothing to achieve his goal. He prefers to play, either attracting a woman or pushing her away, as if there was nothing between them.
“Beloved” is called a cunning man, capable of thinking through his actions and the actions of a woman several steps ahead. He can really truly fall in love with his chosen one and experience sincere feelings. But, realizing that the woman needs him, he will most likely leave.
Behavior in relationships
Expensive
Boring in everything and everywhere - this is how you can describe a guy who calls his significant other “darling.” Routine life awaits a woman who chooses such a person. It wouldn’t even occur to him to add something new to their life together. Very often he turns out to be boring not only at home, but also in bed. You shouldn’t expect any innovations or diversity from such a person. Very often he puts a taboo on everything that a woman offers.
About kisses
A guy kisses a girl on the lips and other places - what does this mean?
Darling
The partner’s feelings are so great that he is unable to express them in words. A man is ready to take care of his chosen one for days on end, delighting her with all kinds of gifts.
My love
Men who call their chosen one this way are very easy and relaxed in communication. This is a wonderful boyfriend who puts the interests of the lady above his own. But such partners have a small disadvantage - they are usually very difficult to command. At the very first attempts to start “training” he will feel this and leave.
My soul
A guy who uses this nickname is a wonderful lifelong companion. He becomes attached to a woman very slowly. Such a person is in no hurry to immediately bare his soul. He chooses a measured path, when rapprochement occurs slowly and comfortably. He is also in no hurry to get physically close. Men of this type very often remain faithful to their partners to the end.
My girl
When a guy calls his chosen one “my girl” or “baby,” this only means one thing: he really experiences tenderness and tremulous feelings. The young man treats her like a child, trying in every possible way to protect her from the evil outside world.
Babe
Perhaps such a person likes specifics and does not want to complicate anything in a relationship. He expects the same from his woman. In a couple, he is used to always being the first, and does not tolerate it when a woman tries to take his place.
Durynda
This nickname, which is not entirely pleasant at first glance, says the opposite: a man is ready to forgive a woman for any mistake and take control of the situation.
Doll
“Doll” is what men who are only superficially interested in their ladies call their ladies. They like easy, non-committal relationships.
My little one or baby
They say those guys who are ready to take care of their girlfriend give all of themselves for this relationship. These are devoted men who can become a reliable wall for their lady.
Miracle
By calling a woman a “miracle,” a man is trying to attract her attention to himself and thus show the significance of this relationship for him.
"I'll call you back"
This is how the date ends, which did not impress the guy. Of course, there is no absolute guarantee that he will never call again, but this is often what happens. The guy tries to avoid unnecessary words about what he liked and what he didn’t. He just runs away for a conversation so as not to appear in your life again. Don't waste your energy constantly looking at your phone or waiting for messages. Most likely, these expectations will be meaningless. If you hear this phrase, just say “Have a nice evening” and go home.
Your reaction may discourage the guy, because he did not expect you to be so indifferent to the breakup. He will respect you more and may actually call you (even though he had no such plans before). In any case, you will remain on top and will not lose your self-esteem. It’s another matter if a man asks to call, saying: “Can I call you?” This suggests that the young man is interested in learning more about you. You have a chance to build a long-term relationship with him (or at least meet again).
"Zoo"
These are the most common variations of nicknames in the early stages of a romantic relationship. They are most often used by young couples, but sometimes persist into adulthood.
Bunny or hare
Very often, such men turn out to be insecure and withdrawn people. There is no need to expect dizzying surprises, warm confessions, or serenades under the window from him. He is incapable of serious actions. Because of their insecurity, such men often find themselves in ridiculous and shameful situations.
Martin
If a man says “swallow,” it means he is confident in the feelings of his other half. This relationship is serious for them.
Birdie
A cowardly man calls his lady “Bird”. He wants to show himself as an experienced gentleman who has had more than one woman, and then suddenly turns into a faithful companion. This happens not because of his high moral principles, but because of cowardice. At the slightest hint of a woman’s infidelity, he will want to take revenge on her. Although, with all its disadvantages, there is also a plus: such men are very good at lovemaking.
Sun
Cheerful and unpredictable representatives of the stronger sex call women “Sunshine”. “My sunshine,” a guy says when he experiences tender, sincere feelings for a girl. He wants to get to know her better, and deep down he hopes that she will become a good companion in the future.
Pussy, kitty and kitty
Men who call their women such nicknames do not pay attention to the little things in everyday life. These are very loving suitors. The intimate side of life is very important for them. You shouldn’t expect loud words with confessions or sincere feelings from him. Mutual satisfaction in bed is the only goal of such a relationship.
Toad
Such a man is very assertive and wants to get to know his chosen one faster. Although, with all his enthusiasm, he does not value relationships too much. These are superficial representatives of the stronger sex who only need fun in life.
Chanterelle, little fox, fox
The attention of such a man was completely absorbed by his chosen one. He longs for her company and tries with all his might to keep her. However, he expects the same from her.
Goat
A man feels complete intimacy with his woman, although sometimes he is not averse to teasing her a little. You can expect sharp jokes from him, but the guy does not want to offend his beloved, but is only trying to defuse the situation.
Sweets
Some men want to be more original and use the names of confectionery products in their nicknames.
Sweetie
Men who can take on the role of a father call their women “sweetie.” He will look after the lady for a long time, cherishing her in every possible way. Such men are faithful in married life and very rarely cheat on their chosen ones.
Sweetie
Guys who have nothing behind their souls. With such a man, no woman will feel protected. Such gentlemen completely irritate serious and confident ladies and make them angry. They inappropriately begin to quote the book they just read, and arrange duels to show their mental abilities. But all their actions are in vain.
Royally
Every girl dreams of being a princess, who will soon turn into a beautiful queen.
Princess
Such men have a hypnotic effect on women, and they know it very well. Charming gentlemen, gallant and well-mannered, who are always surrounded by the attention of women. You can’t relax with such men, because you feel the weakness of your chosen one, he will immediately leave for another. Great in bed.
Queen
A guy obsessed only with sex, and exclusively with his own feelings. He doesn't care about his partner's feelings. When such a man is truly in love, he is ready to put the whole world at her feet (though only in words), but with the fading of feelings, the promises will come to naught.
On you
A man who wants to produce a cheap effect on a woman. He is very loving and does not try to hide it. Such guys do their best to make a false impression on the lady. Usually, they like everything bright and expensive. Nothing good will come out of this novel.
Gold, darling
A man in this way shows the importance of relationships and how much he values them. When choosing such a nickname, his feelings prevail over reason.
Madam
This is a witty and charming partner. A woman is very lucky if she meets such a gentleman on her way. But she shouldn’t relax: at the first possible opportunity, such a man could be taken away by her rivals.
Actions instead of words
A woman should not focus her attention on the words a man says, especially when it comes to nicknames.
You need to take time and think about how to:
- the man behaves with her;
- whether he introduces her to his friends and family;
- does he respect her as a person;
- what actions he does;
- is he always honest with her;
- whether he keeps his word to her.
Sometimes, the actions a man does for the woman he loves have more meaning than words.
Do you know how limitless men's cunning is? It would seem that intrigue, understatement and secrecy are the lot of women, while the male half of humanity is accustomed to thinking and acting clumsily. In fact, if a guy doesn’t want you to know about his true attitude towards you, he will resort to all sorts of tricks and tricks that his brain is capable of.
But the trouble is that girls have long been able to solve all the charades, and they do not need words of love and confessions, because everything can be seen from the behavior of their opponent and his accidentally dropped phrases.
By showing a small amount of observation and attentiveness, you can understand exactly what feelings a man has for you, and how it will all end. We bring to your attention 9 signs that you have a new fan.
"Don't be dramatic"
Drama is present in any relationship, since we are talking about the interaction of two people with completely different characters. And if any problem arises, we need to try to solve it together. But it happens that a guy categorically does not want to listen to your feelings and experiences. He is tuned in to what will be comfortable for him. And he either takes it with hostility or ignores all your conversations about what he doesn’t like. For example, you explain how painful or unpleasant it is for you to experience a particular situation, and in response you only hear: “Don’t panic, don’t be dramatic, nothing happened.” A loving person who plans to connect his future with you will never dismiss your worldviews. He will try to listen, provide assistance and draw conclusions. In extreme cases, it will simply reassure you and instill hope for a successful outcome (sometimes this is the best help). And if he doesn’t want to delve into your problem, he’s not your person. Just don't confuse the situation with excessive emotionality. This is not about panicking over every little thing. But if there is a reason for this, you should voice it and receive an equivalent and adequate reaction from your partner.
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Talks about your future together
If a man not only says that he adores you, but also clearly imagines you living together, then it’s time to prepare for serious changes in your life.
Remember that it is extremely difficult for the strong half of humanity to transfer their “den” into careful female hands, and he thinks about a lot before speaking out about its joint improvement. Do not underestimate this sign of falling in love, since you have been appreciated as a person capable of creating coziness, warmth and comfort in the home.
Appearance is no longer important
Like a true male, the guy first loves with his eyes, and the “big-eyed” period can last quite a long time. But at one fine moment a man says that he doesn’t just love you for your size 4 breasts or slender legs, but for your ability to listen, advise and support.
And when they make it clear to you that your warmth is very highly valued, then you can be sure that they love you.
Soul wide open
If a man says that he misses you and shares his doubts, concerns, fears and problems with you without fear, he is definitely in love with you, and sincerely and for a long time.
If your candidacy seems worthy to a guy, he will dedicate you to the most painful and pitiful moments of his childhood, will not hesitate to divulge his romantic dreams and will not be afraid to be clumsy or funny.
It's boring without you
More recently, a man tried with all his might to demonstrate his independence, self-reliance and disinterest. Now your ICQ simply cannot accommodate his compliments, he often calls and openly declares that he is unbearably bored without your company. And if you like all this, then another couple has matched.
Your mistakes become invisible
Remember how, when going on your first date, you tried to look as chic, extravagant, cute, elegant, and so on as possible. A guy in love stops idealizing his chosen one, since only natural feelings give him the strength to come to terms with flaws.
He will never reproach you for having too much cake or wearing too provocative an outfit, he will not smirk if you had to twist your ankle in an unbearably high stiletto heel, and he will criticize your position regarding a particular political party.
They started listening to you carefully
When a guy really adores you, he stops spouting witty thoughts, telling jokes and amusing you with funny incidents from his own life. He begins to understand that he needs to listen to you, even if the facts you present have long been known to everyone and are uninteresting.
If a guy really loves, he doesn’t just listen, he hears, gives good advice, doesn’t interrupt, gives the opportunity to speak out to the end and shares his thoughts.
Help and surprises
You can understand whether a man loves you in one simple way: ask him to take you to the airport or train station during rush hour or the height of the workday. A true chosen one will definitely find a way to help you and share your worries, anxieties and difficulties.
Remember, if a guy appears nearby only in moments of joy or abundance, then he will not make a reliable life partner. is a person capable of a multi-step and top-secret operation, the main goal of which is to give you a surprise.
Moreover, this can manifest itself in a completely unusual form: a shelf will appear in the refrigerator filled with your favorite diet yogurt, tickets to a concert will appear on the table, or freshly cooked chicken soup will appear on the stove. Only those who sincerely love and want to be loved can provide all these signs of attention.
How to answer?
We are all accustomed to the fact that we have to pay for everything in this life. For one - with your health, for another - with money, for the third - with personal time.
Therefore, it is not at all surprising that even the most loving man will not last long without your response and, preferably, a positive reaction, and therefore:
- Learning to give compliments. Yes, yes, men simply adore them, although they don’t show it. But before you compliment your man, try to choose words that will not offend or offend him in any way. It is best to admire courage, reliability, strength, gallantry and everything like that;
- You can’t be silent in bed, just enjoying the process or waiting for it to end. Be sure to respond to kind words, even if you have no idea what to say to your man in bed. If you don’t have much imagination, call him by name, say exciting phrases and ask him what he would like at the moment. It is clear that sex cannot be turned into a full-fledged kitchen dialogue;
- If your goal is to maintain and enhance your existing relationship, it is important to remember that you should never tell your man. We advise you not to talk about previous relationships, not to compare him with other suitors, not to ask for a fur coat instead of a new car, and not to invite him to tea with his friends if there is a football match on TV;
- Excessive protectiveness in public is also an example of what you should not say to your men. You should not reproach them for drinking or eating too much, clumsy dancing or unnoticed curbs. All this can be said when you get home, if until then it continues to seem important and worthy of a quarrel.
Of course, a woman’s life would become much easier if there were a visual list of what words she should say to her man, and which words it would be better to remove from her vocabulary altogether. But in this case, the opportunity to get to know each other better and test the relationship for strength and endurance would be lost.
“I’m just tired”: what do typical phrases from men really mean?
Sometimes their words are like Chinese writing for us. We tried to figure out what the typical words of men actually mean: what to believe in and what to fear. We turn to our translators: musician and TV presenter Anton Lavrentyev , psychologist Mark Barton and, of course, our permanent independent expert - the average man .
“I promise that I won’t pester you” Anton Lavrentiev: They say that in order to weaken the defense. But in my case, if I promise, I really won’t. Mark Barton: Usually such a phrase is designed to lull the girl’s vigilance, especially if this was preceded by a beautiful gesture on his part. They really want you. Average man: I'll make you pester me.
“I’m working on it” Anton Lavrentiev: I’m not sure of the result, so I can’t promise anything. Mark Barton: More often than not, it's an excuse. For a man capable of making decisions, there are only “yes” and “no”. Average man: I'll do it tomorrow, perhaps.
“Maybe I should have dinner and watch a movie?” Anton Lavrentiev: An invitation to intimacy. Mark Barton: If something like this comes from the lips of a man who is caring for you and has not yet had intimacy between you, this is a trap. Average man: Despite the fact that I already ate and forgot to pay for the Internet.
“Why should I make excuses?” Anton Laventiev: I never said that. But as soon as a person begins to make excuses, it means he is automatically guilty - a failed story. Mark Barton: Most often a form of attack. I have to make excuses because I sowed doubts with my behavior. Average man: Most likely, I’m guilty, but I’m not going to give in.
“Go to bed, they don’t talk about serious topics before going to bed” Anton Lavrentyev: This is avoiding a conflict when you don’t want to sort it out. Mark Barton: Just avoiding uncomfortable conversations. It is easier for a woman to live with information and guarantees. Their absence causes unrest. A wise man will always listen, hear and speak. Average man: True, if a man is exhausted for the whole day.
“Well, yes, I have exes with whom we communicate as friends.” Anton Lavrentyev: Well, yes, there are such. Mark Barton: Communication with exes is possible in one case: your man was married and had a child from the marriage. Everything else is unresolved feelings, unspoken grievances. Average man: I'm shocked, but it's true.
“Men are not offended, they draw conclusions” Anton Lavrentyev: This is an insult. When you want to hit a girl. Mark Barton: They are so offended, sometimes worse than women. Average man: All people get offended, some people just don’t talk about it.
“You are so good, I don’t want to spoil you” Anton Lavrentiev : Sorry, we are not on the same path, let’s not go too far, otherwise it will hurt more later. Mark Barton: Every man would like to see a moderately spoiled girl next to him (before starting a family, of course). Average man : It’s better not to tell this to a girl, otherwise she might remember her adventures.
“We’ll see” Anton Lavrentiev: Really, we’ll see. Some unclear situation has arisen, and it is not yet clear what to do. Mark Barton: The most common answer among men. In other words, leave me alone. Average guy: Either “no” or “let’s talk about it in a week.”
“I’m just tired” Anton Lavrentyev: This is also an excuse. Most likely, he is already sick of something in particular, but so far he cannot find the strength to say about it. Mark Barton: Men really often get tired, especially those who have a high sense of responsibility. Average man: Either he’s really tired, or “everything is bad with you, but I can’t say about it yet”
“You need to be simpler” Anton Lavrentyev: I have never said such an impudent phrase, but apparently this means that you really need to be simpler. Mark Barton: Of course, you have to be simpler, because next to you this insecure man gets lost. That's what weak boys say. Average man: True, sometimes you have to be simpler.
“I have a lot of work today” Anton Lavrentiev: I want to be alone. Mark Barton: If you hear something like that, that's very good. It would be strange to hear from a man that he has a lot of free time. Average man: Today I want to be alone.
“It’s not about you, it’s about me” Anton Lavrentiev: It’s true. Mark Barton: Men often speak in such a way as not to offend a girl. As a rule, this can be heard at the moment of separation. Average man: There are a few things about you that I don't like, but I won't tell you about them.
“This is all in the past a long time ago” Anton Lavrentiev: An attempt to be noble. But in reality, nothing is forgotten, no one is forgotten. Mark Barton: If we are talking about ex-girlfriends, do not waste your time or his time on such conversations. If such a statement is confirmed by actions - that is, by the lack of communication with ex-girlfriends - one must believe it. Average man: But I still remember it, and will remember it.
“I’m with the guys today” Anton Lavrentyev: I want to be alone and have fun, perhaps with the guys. Mark Barton: Has every right to communicate with friends, naturally, without compromising your relationship. Average man: Today I want to be without you.
“We’ll decide” Anton Lavrentiev: We’ll decide. Mark Barton: Almost the same as “we’ll see”! When you hear this, don’t be lazy to ask: “when?” Average man: See the paragraph “We’ll see.”
“I don’t deserve you” Anton Lavrentyev: Please don’t be upset, it’s my fault, not you, I’m the fool, but let’s break up. Or, on the contrary, this is a story about how you are so good, and I am a bastard, thank you, I love you madly. Mark Barton: A funny and stupid phrase that carries only hypocrisy and deception. Average guy: This is more a trick than the truth.
“Yes, we didn’t quarrel” Anton Lavrentiev: Offense. Mark Barton: Men find it difficult to admit their mistakes and a phrase like this sounds like a hidden form of apology. Average man: Of course, we quarreled.
“I’ve never fallen in love like that before” Anton Lavrentyev: He’s either head over heels in love, or this is an attempt to get him into bed: they say, you’re so cool, I’m emotional, let’s take off your clothes quickly. Mark Barton: You'll hear it until you're in the same bed. Why? Emotions will go away, hormones will subside and your head will turn on - both for him and for you. Average man: I fell in love, of course, I just feel it differently now.
“You and I have a month today” Anton Lavrentiev: The guy is in love. Mark Barton: Very sensitive and attentive. A good reason to take a closer look at such a man. The average guy: A phrase from the sixteen-year-old romantic he turned into next to you
“Yes, everything is fine” Anton Lavrentyev: No, everything is not normal. Mark Barton: He doesn't want to talk about his failures and failures. Don't try to find out what you don't need to know. Average guy: Not really, but I don't want to talk about it today.
“Who’s writing to you there?” Anton Lavrentyev: I'm jealous, what the hell, you're mine! Mark Barton: I miss your attention. Average guy: I'll ask as a joke when she's on topic.
“You are smart, beautiful, everything will be fine with you” Anton Lavrentiev: Let’s break up as soon as possible, please, I can’t watch you suffer. Mark Barton
: But not with me.
An idiotic phrase that hiddenly says “I’m not interested in you and you’re not suitable.” Average guy: You're great, but we're not right for each other, and I don't want to offend you.
