Do you think all males are capable of betrayal?
Why are men forced to have mistresses and how to understand their psychology?
Experts will help you understand these complex issues. A young man can cheat on his partner even if he loves her very much. We invite you to find out what causes betrayal.
At heart he remained a little boy
Very rarely, unfaithful husbands are tormented by remorse. They are absolutely satisfied with everything. One woman is for the soul, and the second is for the body. A partner who never grew up enjoys feeling like a daring male.
He has two or even more females. Here the point is not even that the young man is well off.
Even those who do not stand firmly on their own feet have mistresses. In this case, it's a matter of low self-esteem. A man who has a wife and loves her, but still takes a mistress, is psychologically weak.
He will never dare to leave his soulmate, because with her a man feels stability and self-confidence.
Such a person may be forty years old, but in his soul he has never grown. They also have mistresses in order to improve their opinion of themselves. An unfaithful spouse thinks that he is a real man and a male.
Why do men have mistresses - who is to blame?
Another common reason is that a woman morally suppresses a man, and he tries to find someone with whom he will feel like a strong and dominant person. The wife needs to talk to the man more often and give him advice if asked. You don't need to take on too many things. Also, you should not blame your husband for not doing anything. You should give him compliments from time to time. We need to learn to admire him again.
Sometimes the culprit is high social status and corresponding beliefs. Some men believe that they are obliged to have a mistress because it reflects their high status. The well-known combination “director + secretary” is suitable as an example. This behavior is typical of men who are unable to experience true deep feelings. Often they even perceive their wife as a servant and take pleasure in deceiving her.
Routine and lack of novelty also negatively affect feelings and are one of the reasons why a man takes a mistress.
Over time, any relationship changes and can get boring. The same activities every day, the same faces, the same daily routine... All this leaves an imprint. As a result, it becomes too unbearable for the man - the natural thirst for adventure takes over, and he begins to hunt for skirts. This is especially true in the work routine, when the wife is not able to see her husband often due to a busy schedule. Therefore, it is important to spend time with a man as often as possible.
Can a man love his wife and his mistress at the same time?
Each person has his own ideas about the concept of “love”. For women, this is synonymous with fidelity, inspiration, and care for a partner. A man is able to perceive love as readiness for sex. This does not mean that he does not have warm feelings for both women. By having sex with them, the young man expresses love. Thus, such men are quite capable of loving two people.
Women are indignant: why do men need mistresses if they have an affectionate and caring wife? Many men take on a woman on the side, even if everything is great at home. How can we explain male inconstancy and why do husbands need relationships on the side?
Why do men have permanent mistresses?
In principle, there are many reasons for a man to have a permanent mistress.
We will not list them. This has already been written and rewritten hundreds of times, why repeat it? Let’s talk better not about the notorious male polygamy and not about the fact that “oh, there is no mutual understanding and normal sex in the family, therefore...”. Such explanations of betrayal, by and large, are nothing more than attempts to fit the problem into some primitive scheme. In fact, not all men are notorious males, and not every one of them will dream of a mistress if there is no mutual understanding with his wife. Some of those who happen to become mistresses are confident that a man will not go to the left, having an excellent wife. Alas, this is not true. No matter how perfect a woman is in all respects, she is not immune from the betrayal of her life partner. And again, not because “all men are tarred with the same thing.” It’s just that life, and with it people, is diverse. Human feelings are subject to changes and are like a swing - up and down, up and down. In a rare family this does not happen. And sometimes even in prosperous homes bad weather happens. The horizon of relationships is covered in clouds, thunder rumbles, lightning flashes, icy rain pours...
In this case, a woman can hide from the downpour under an umbrella for household chores. One way or another, her task is to preserve the hearth, and she is forced to take care of it, even if it is winter in her heart. A man is proud, and when they don’t invite him under the umbrella, he won’t ask to go there. He gets wet, freezes, and eventually goes to look for a place where he can warm up. And, of course, he finds it. There will always be a lonely lady ready to receive, dry and caress a tired traveler. All. Ready. The betrayal is obvious.
Well, okay, we'll say. If there was a scandal in the house that pushed a man into the arms of another, this can still be understood. The wife was unable to make concessions in time, her husband wanted human warmth, and here is a lonely, understanding, sympathetic woman. She doesn’t ask for anything, doesn’t expect anything from him, she will always listen and calm him down. Such a mistress is a refuge for a man in which he hides during family storms. But often husbands cheat even when scandals in the house are short-lived and quite rare! They go to the left, even if the wife is attractive, caring, smart. Why?
This is the other side of male infidelity. The reason for this usually lies in a man’s tendency to idealize women. There are not so few representatives of the stronger sex who dream of a beautiful lady, even in our pragmatic times. Such a craving for the ideal is formed in early childhood, and subsequently men unconsciously strive for it almost all their lives. Having met the one who later becomes his wife, they initially see in her almost the crown of creation. However, family life radically changes this idea. One day the husband realizes that his wife is an ordinary person. And she lives, not “breathing spirits and mists,” but just like everyone else - she eats, sleeps and needs to satisfy her physiological needs.
Anyone who dreams of perfection is disappointed by such a discovery. If a “beautiful stranger” happens to be nearby, she may well become a lover. And, as a rule, it becomes. It seems to the man that now he has really found the ideal. Still would! After all, he is not aware of all the intimate details of this woman’s life. The lady carefully prepares for dates, doesn’t even mention everyday problems, and doesn’t sneak around in front of him in an old robe. An unearthly creature, and nothing more! This is how an idealist will perceive his mistress until he understands that nothing human is alien to her either. Then he will be disappointed again and again begin to look for a beautiful lady.
It must be said that this type of male infidelity occurs quite often. And if a woman gets a husband who is looking for a beautiful lady, it will not be easy for her. In order for the beloved not to be disappointed, one must be perfect in everything. In principle, if you try hard, it is possible. But you can’t, if you live under the same roof, always remain an angel in the flesh! Anyway, sooner or later something human will appear. And who knows what the spouse will throw out after this. Maybe he’ll just withdraw into himself, or maybe he’ll set out to look for an ideal. Unknown.
OK. We seem to have figured out why men have beautiful mistresses. But it also happens that another woman is significantly inferior in appearance to her wife! Is this where the dog is buried? Traditionally, family relationships imply that the husband is the breadwinner, protector, and patron. And any normal man realizes this and tries to meet such requirements. But it is not always possible to comply. Either there is not enough money, then your career is collapsing, or you can’t solve some problem. A man ceases to feel his importance even if his wife does not particularly nag him and tries to treat everything with understanding. Because he feels guilty for what is happening.
And then suddenly a woman appears next to the man, looking at him with adoration and literally worshiping him. She doesn’t make any claims to him, doesn’t oblige him to anything, treats every action with delight... Well, how can you not become attached to such a person? A lady like this is like an antidepressant. The man is calm around her. So he dives from time to time into the hospitable hole of his mistress, who is always happy to see her hero. And here it doesn’t matter at all whether she is better in appearance than her wife or worse. The main thing is that the man is revered.
No, of course, very often men have mistresses because they are simply fresh and young, because marital sex is not satisfying, because the home environment is too tense - and so on. Such adultery has already been spoken about several times, and its reasons are clear and banal. Another thing is not entirely clear to us: why, having a constant mistress for a long time, do men quite rarely divorce their wives?
Why do women have lovers?
For your attention, the main reasons why exemplary married ladies rush headlong into love relationships on the side.
Curiosity
If a girl has no other men besides her husband, she really wants to try sex with someone else. The same story about the forbidden fruit. Even if your husband is an excellent family man, your relationship with him is excellent, and he’s simply super in bed, but the feeling of habit cannot be avoided.
Interesting!
The desire to experience new emotions, something different and with someone else makes married women look for adventures on their butt. Often the result of adventures is the conclusion that your husband is much better than the others, and the game was not worth the candle at all.
In this case, the woman, driven by a sense of guilt, tries to please her husband in everything and begins to value this relationship (the proverb “a leftist strengthens a marriage!” comes into play).
Feeling confident
Household chores (washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking, plus caring for a spouse, elderly parents, spoiled and often sick children) - this is what the daily life of an ordinary woman consists of.
The feeling that you are still attractive and charming is somehow erased under the weight of everyday problems, self-esteem falls, and a loving mother and caring daughter come to the fore. And how you want to catch admiring male and envious female glances, experience the indescribable sensations of the upcoming first date and flirting with unfamiliar men, hear compliments addressed to you, and the like.
In family life, whatever one may say, romance remains at the level of a rose on March 8th and a couple of phrases about a new haircut (and this is even in the best case). In a new relationship, everything is the opposite - gifts, attention, an endless stream of beautiful phrases and, as a result, complete self-confidence.
Vivid emotions
Agree, the passion between two lovers is simply impossible to maintain throughout life; its fading is inevitable. Sex between spouses becomes more of a duty than a pleasure, and happens less and less.
Do you remember how it was when you were young? You took every opportunity to touch each other, and you could devote the whole night (or even the day) to making love. And now we have learned to skillfully imitate an orgasm, and in the evening, fatigue after a hectic day does not at all encourage role-playing games or sex in general.
Interesting!
What does a woman expect from meeting her lover? These are continuous pleasant emotions: bold caresses, new sensations from a new man and an enchanting orgasm (and more than one)! So it turns out that even the fear of being caught in treason does not stop the majority of representatives of the fair half of humanity.
Incentive to improve
Probably, many will agree that the difference between a girl during the period of courtship and her during family life is striking. At home you want to relax, and not constantly have to wear your hair, make-up and manicure. And the husband is such a close, dear person and there is practically no embarrassment in front of the spouse.
What happens to a woman when a new admirer appears on the horizon? She somehow magically transforms. The desire to please, to attract men's gaze, to be desired works wonders. External changes are followed by internal ones.
To maintain a conversation on all sorts of topics and impress not only a beautiful, but also an educated person, you need to read a lot, be aware of the latest trends, in other words, be 100% savvy! So relationships on the side are also a reason for self-development and self-improvement.
Feeling of mystery
Everyday life and melancholy eat me up... And here is a mystery covered in darkness, complete secrecy and adrenaline that excites the blood - just a real adventure in reality! You need to come up with an alibi for your husband (where, with whom, why and why), a reason to leave work for your boss, and also be able to hide the sparkle of your eyes, a satisfied smile on your face and gifts from your lover. Does a woman need a lover? If she likes secrets, then yes.
Interesting!
In addition to this, there are a lot of nuances: getting out of a fan’s car a block from home, staying in a hotel far, far outside the city and drinking a cup of coffee where there will not be a single person you know.
The desire not to give away your secret passion will make you remember your younger years and use your fantasy to the fullest - sex in the back seat of a car, just in nature or in the last row of a cinema.
An eye for an eye
It’s simply unrealistic to imagine the feelings experienced by a woman who has caught her husband cheating! Pain from the betrayal of a loved one, spiritual emptiness and an all-consuming feeling of revenge. The idea of revenge is so strong that offended women try to hit - the more painfully, the better. For example, sleep with your spouse’s best friend and make sure that he quickly learns this fact and feels the same pain.
The feeling of revenge so overshadows reason that the woman does not understand that such behavior will not make it any easier, neither for herself nor for her husband. And when she realizes this, it is too late. Her own dignity is lost, and the irresistible desire to go and wash off the dirt of betrayal will haunt the lady for a long time.
Gray head
It's no secret that true sensuality and sexuality in women is revealed in full after 30. And this period comes just at a time when a decent period of family life is already behind us, and sexual life with a legal spouse becomes boring and monotonous.
Imagine the situation: the children have grown up, the woman has reached certain heights in her career or business, and the thought that there is only one life begins to haunt her more and more often. Why, in such a situation, does society perceive male infidelity as something self-evident? Why are women worse?
Interesting!
If earlier we discussed couples where the man is old enough to be a father to his chosen one, now more and more often women are also not averse to having a young boy next to them. Of course, a business woman deserves such a boyfriend due to her status, for example, to attend receptions, have a good time and be the envy of her friends.
But recent trends prove that the most ordinary women also want life to sparkle with bright colors next to a young macho, and use every opportunity that presents itself for this.
Commercialism
Why do young girls need a lover? Many young beauties, having gotten married at a fairly early age, do not get what they dreamed of. The constant lack of money, saving on yourself and all kinds of girlish pleasures such as spas, beauty salons, swimming pools, fitness clubs and, of course, shopping take their toll.
The girl begins to look at other, more successful men, and in case of mutual sympathy, without unnecessary hesitation, she enters into an affair on the side. A new admirer shows the young lady a completely different life: he takes her to a cafe (bar, club, restaurant, etc.), buys dresses, handbags and high-heeled shoes, which are so necessary for each of us. And if you’re lucky, he takes it with you on vacation to the seas, oceans, etc.
But, as usual, you have to pay for pleasure! So it turns out that sex is the least a girl can offer in return.
