Sexual problems - causes and solutions

Among the variety of human feelings, the most beautiful feeling is love. The pinnacle of love between a man and a woman is sexual relations. Unfortunately, even if a couple’s relationship develops harmoniously, at a certain stage problems in sex appear. Let's try to identify their causes and find ways to eliminate them.

Common Causes of Sexual Problems

Problems in sex can be male, female and general, common to everyone:

• Lack of feelings in intimate relationships

There is an opinion that in a relationship between a man and a woman it is not at all important to have any feelings for each other. But life makes its own adjustments to these stereotypes and proves: the more feelings, the brighter the sex. Women, being more delicate creatures emotionally, for the most part experience the need to love and feel loved.

Feeling that she is not indifferent to her partner, the lady tries to give her chosen one maximum pleasure. A man behaves similarly. If he sees passion on the part of his partner, and even more so if he likes her, a man will do everything to rise to the occasion.

• Anatomical incompatibility of partners

There are cases when the sizes of the genital organs of a man and a woman do not match. As an example of such a discrepancy, consider a situation in which a man's penis exceeds the length of his partner's vagina. As a result, a woman experiences pain during sexual intercourse, sometimes quite severe. What kind of pleasure can we talk about? Of all the feelings, one will be relevant - the desire for sexual contact to end as soon as possible.

The situation in size can be exactly the opposite, and then the two will be completely uncomfortable. The feeling of frustration due to unfulfilled expectations will be prevalent.

However, no matter what scenario the relationship between partners develops due to anatomical incompatibility, there is always a way out. And this way out is in finding positions in which both will feel comfortable, in increasing their sexual awareness and sexual literacy.

• Negative first sexual experience

The problem is very serious and can leave an imprint on a person’s future sexual life. Psychological discomfort, pain, forced sexual intercourse (unfortunately, this also happens) are deposited in the subconscious for a long time, sometimes for life. All of this can become a barrier to healthy intimate relationships.

• Differences in the sexual constitution of partners

First, let's figure out what the sexual constitution is. Translating such a sophisticated concept into ordinary language, we can say that this is a common need for sex. The intensity of this need can be weak, medium or strong. Ideally, the sexual constitution should match. It doesn't matter if this doesn't happen. There would be a desire, because you can adapt to your partner.

But, if you approach the solution of a sexual problem correctly, good results can be achieved with the help of:

• hormonal therapy,
• increasing sensuality through intimate muscle training – wumbling,
• studying ways to stimulate erogenous zones,
• unobtrusive study of the partner’s needs

• Difference in biorhythms

We are talking about owls and larks. And if a man who is a lark tries to wake up his beloved, whose biorhythm is defined as an owl, with gentle kisses, he may not only fail, but also hear unflattering epithets addressed to him.

However, a compromise can always be found. For example, a man has a habit of going to bed earlier than his chosen one is ready for it. A wise lady will find a way out. Having dived like a fox under the blanket to her beloved, she explains this by the desire to just chat a little about this and that. Conducting a meaningless conversation, she begins to caress her partner and, when he wakes up from his nap and is ready for anything, the sorceress persuades him to have sex. It is necessary to remember that you cannot immediately slip out of the bed of love. Wait until your lark falls asleep (most likely, you won’t have to wait long), and only then return to your business.

• Life's troubles

Lack of sexual interest is sometimes due to objective reasons. It could be:

• hormonal disbalance,
• women's critical days,
• mental disorders: depression, apathy, chronic fatigue syndrome,
• disease,
• various phobias and complexes of a sexual nature: fear of pain during sex, refusal to have sex naked or in the light, etc.

Very bad sex with partner2

If you think that the sex in your relationship is very bad, but you don’t want to look for another woman, then you may well be able to save the situation. You need to understand why your partner is bad in bed and work on the mistakes together. How?

If the girl is just tired, you need to help her rest and relax. Many people prepare a warm bath with different aromatic oils and light candles in the dark, but this is a mistake. In such an environment, all you want is to sleep, so sex will again be sluggish, if at all. For a woman to rest, you just need to help her with the housework (cleaning, cooking dinner), watch a good movie together, lying on the sofa.

In the case when you become your girlfriend's first man, you are also her teacher in bed. Don’t expect miracles in bed from someone who has experienced sex for the first time. Watch an erotic film together, look through the Kama Sutra, and use a variety of positions during sex. It is necessary to tell a woman what and how to do correctly, guiding her.

It’s a little more difficult with people with complexes. First of all, don't make the mistake of turning off the lights before sexual intercourse. So the girl will think that you don’t like her and will begin to develop even more complexes. Leave the lamp on, tell the woman that you like everything about her and want to admire her during sex. Trust me, it will work and she will be able to relax.

Very bad sex in most cases depends on how “warmed up” the partner is. Many men believe that a woman is ready for sexual intercourse, all she has to do is touch her, kiss her on the neck, and say “I want you.” The physiology of women and men is very different.

And if a light touch is enough for a guy to bring the weapon into combat readiness, then with girls everything is different. Don't forget about foreplay, and the more you have, the better the sex will be!

Problems with sex in women 2

The weaker sex is much more likely to encounter problems of a sexual nature. The trouble is that women don't want to admit that these are real problems. They in no way connect their illnesses, psychoses and nervous breakdowns that appeared out of nowhere with shortcomings in their intimate life. Then why has life become so joyless, where there are feelings of lightness and happiness that color healthy sexual relationships? It's all about the problems:

• Inability to achieve orgasm

Characteristic of almost a third of the female half of humanity. Among the reasons for this sexual pathology are:

• lack of a sensual component in a relationship,
• long-term stressful situations,
• diseases, including nervous ones,
• taking certain medications,
• hormonal disbalance,
• age-related changes,
• viewing sex as a shameful duty
• lack of basic knowledge about a woman’s erogenous zones and a man’s inept actions to stimulate them

It is important that a woman does not dwell on this problem, does not hide it from her partner, especially not hide it behind an imitation of orgasm. The sooner she talks about it, the faster she can eliminate it. The doctor will prescribe special therapy, and a loving man will find ways to stimulate sensitive areas.

• Frigidity

This is coldness in intimate relationships, inability to have sexual desire, lack of need for sex. Frigidity manifests itself in different ways in women. It happens that in the complete absence of sexual desire, when entering into intimate intimacy, a woman receives pleasure and even easily achieves orgasm. Sometimes a woman is frigid only in relation to her husband, while sex with another man can be painted in bright colors. Some ladies cannot experience sexual desire with anyone.

By and large, frigidity arises as a result of a complete discord between the head and the body. A frigid woman does not perceive sex at all, while the body may well respond to caresses during sexual intercourse. For such a lady, it is necessary to create an appropriate intimate environment and increase the time of foreplay.

Well, if this problem cannot be solved, you should seek professional help from a doctor and psychologist. As they say, the devil is not as scary as he is painted.

• Pain during intimacy

These sensations can be either weak or strong. Their reasons may be:

• minor damage to the vulva,
• inflammatory process of the female genital organs,
• postoperative surgical scars,
• lack of lubrication,
• pelvic adhesions,
• tumor formations

If the pain lasts for a long time, you should immediately consult a doctor and find out the cause of the pain. If necessary, undergo prescribed therapy. If there is no such need, and the cause of the pain lies in the woman’s mental state, it is important to work out the problem with a psychologist.

Psychological reasons

First of all, they arise against the background of partners’ distrust of each other, lack of spiritual intimacy and honesty, which could overcome internal complexes and traumas.

Lack of feelings. Over time, sex without a close emotional connection becomes boring, turning into a mechanical routine action. This can bore anyone, regardless of gender. There is only one way out - leave yourself a chance to meet a truly loved and dear person by leaving a toxic relationship. Sexual egoism. This trait is destructive for any human relationship, and in sex it leads to the constant emergence of a pendulum, in which one person is satisfied and achieves pleasure, and the second plays the role of a victim who is “obliged” to satisfy the partner and only then feels satisfied. To solve the problem, you need to work with a psychologist, learn to give rather than accept, and enjoy the fact that you make another person happy. Early onset of sexual activity. Medical and psychological practice confirms that adolescents under 17 years of age may not be mentally prepared for adult relationships, are not able to bear responsibility and realize the consequences, and often enter into intimate relationships under the influence of alcohol or pressure from a more experienced partner. Moral injuries. Most often these include an unsuccessful first sexual experience, rape, incest or physical violence in the family. They are treated only with long-term correction by a psychotherapist. Complexes. Many people suffer from phobias and complexes related to their appearance, nudity, the need for close contact, lack of skills, etc. A psychologist and sexologist helps solve such problems. Latent homosexuality. The problem may not be recognized or deliberately blocked by one of the partners. In this case, a person will always be dissatisfied in heterosexual contacts even in the presence of the most suitable conditions. The therapeutic effect is possible if you work on yourself and your internal traumas, phobias and fears.

Male sexual problems 3

Sexual problems in men are not uncommon and can increase as the body ages. However, there is no reason to despair, since most of them are treatable.

Among male sexual problems we can highlight:

• decreased testosterone levels
• lack of sexual interest
• lack of erection

• Low testosterone levels

Testosterone, being an important male hormone, is responsible for sperm production, maintaining sexual desire, strengthening the body, muscle and bone mass, and pubic hair growth.

The level of the hormone affects the physical condition of a man and his mood. You can talk about low testosterone levels if an adult man exhibits the following signs:

• loss of interest in sexual relations,
• lack of erection,
• decreased sperm count,
• enlargement of the mammary glands,
• reduction in the size of the testicles and changes in their structure,
• periodic occurrence of hot flashes,
• hair loss,
• decreased memory concentration,
• manifestations of anger, irritability,
• depressive state

• Loss of sexual interest

Libido, which is exactly what the name of such a concept as interest in sex sounds, changes throughout a person’s entire life journey. Sometimes, due to a stressful situation or illness, libido decreases. It may not always coincide with the desire of the partner and this is not considered a deviation from the norm, especially if there is a long-term sexual relationship with a specific person.

But, if the loss of interest in sex has gone beyond isolated manifestations, you need to think about whether this is the beginning of health problems. Sometimes libido can be affected by medications and decreased levels of male hormones (which is a natural phenomenon for aging men). The path to restoring men's health should begin with a visit to a doctor, who, having identified the cause of loss of interest in intimate relationships, will prescribe treatment.

• Lack of erection (erectile dysfunction)

Popularly, a similar phenomenon associated with the lack of the necessary erection for sexual intercourse is called impotence. The problem is typical for men of all ages and causes uncertainty in their capabilities and instability of their psycho-emotional state.

Once having suffered a fiasco in intimacy, a man begins to experience fear of upcoming sex, which he begins to think of as an exam for sexual viability. The increasing nervous tension only aggravates the situation.

As a rule, men try to keep their weakness a secret, not relying on the possibilities of modern medicine. As a result, they often miss valuable time and do not receive timely medical care. In fact, erectile dysfunction can be successfully treated, and in 9 out of 10 cases there is an excellent result.

Considering that this problem in sex is not an independent disease, but is associated either with a person’s mental state or with an underlying disease, it is necessary to begin therapy by searching for the causes.

Among the reasons that determine this condition are:

• psychogenic causes:
• depression
• stress
• fear
• anxiety
• reasons based on organic disorders:
• atherosclerosis
• hypertension
• diabetes
• hormonal disorders
• renal failure
• pathology of the broncho-pulmonary system

Why is a girl bad in bed?i

In 90% of cases, very bad sex is the woman’s fault. Why? There are many reasons for this:

1. The girl’s boyfriend is her first man, and she still doesn’t understand at all what needs to be done and how to do it correctly.
2. The woman is shy and cannot loosen up.
3. The girl has complexes (overweight, afraid of ruining her makeup, etc.) that prevent her from being relaxed in bed.
4. Not a comfortable environment that does not allow you to relax and enjoy yourself.
5. The girl is not “warmed up” before the act, so she is lazy in bed.
6. Fatigue after a working day.
7. The girl has no interest in sex in general (this also happens - it’s a natural feature).

Everything described above greatly affects the quality of sex. Having sex in a relationship has a high value, and many guys, not receiving one hundred percent satisfaction, go “to the left,” believing that this is the way out. But that's not true. One has only to think about what will happen if a loved one finds out about the betrayal! Of course, in most cases this becomes the reason for the breakup of the couple. Do you, dear men, need such an outcome? If not, start working on saving your sex life.

What men suffering from erectile dysfunction should not do4

Often men, in order to hide an existing problem with potency, start taking Viagra and similar drugs. However, it should be noted that this should not be done without medical advice, since this drug group significantly affects the condition of the prostate and can lead to disruption of its function.

You shouldn’t change women in the hope that if it didn’t work out with one, it will work out with the other. You need to talk frankly with your partner, talk about your problems, discuss what steps should be taken first. If you are dear to your woman, she will treat your sexual failures with understanding and will not stay away from them.

Alcohol is also not a solution. It will only distract you from bad thoughts. It will not increase potency in any way. And frequent use can lead to alcohol addiction.

If you have problems with sex, you should understand once and for all that you need to solve them only with your partner. The support of a loved one will be that unbreakable wall behind which you can hide not only from sexual problems.