No one is perfect, so no relationship will be perfect. / Pixabay Relationships are hard work. There seem to be more reasons for relationship failure than for success. However, there are many successful relationships, so making them work is quite possible. No one is perfect, so no relationship will be perfect.
One of the most important things to do in a relationship is to recognize relationship killers and correct them before they get out of control. When both people in a relationship are willing to contribute, success is inevitable.
Don't wait for an invitation
This rule applies exclusively to representatives of the fairer sex. And even then, not in all cases. If a girl likes a self-confident and purposeful macho man, of course, you shouldn’t impose yourself on him and almost force him into a date. This will be perceived by him as completely opposite. This type of man is accustomed to making decisions on his own and deciding whether he needs a relationship with this or that lady or not.
This advice applies to timid and unconfident boys and men. Even if they sincerely sympathize with the girl, they often cannot decide to take the first step forward and invite her on a banal first date.
Even science has proven that a woman is more sensitive on an intuitive level. Therefore, it is almost impossible for her not to notice that someone likes her. This is where you need to help your timid partner a little. It is to help, and not “put under pressure” your persistence, “riding” like on a multi-ton truck. Each situation is purely individual. Perhaps you need to “shoot” your eyes a little, flirt. When the chosen one understands that his feelings are mutual, it will be easier for him to take the first step.
Focus on responsiveness2
Here you can also return to the theme of brutal and self-confident guys. Oddly enough, this is the type that women like most. On the one hand, they can be understood. Being next to a representative of the male half of humanity exuding strength and power, you really feel like you are behind a stone wall. But the line between this stone wall and a cage with suffocating bars is subsequently very thin.
The whole point here is that men of this type are most often authoritarian and being around them is far from being as easy as it might seem at first glance. Their narcissistic nature sometimes simply does not allow them to notice the opinions of others, including the girl they love. So, in order to subsequently avoid such phrases addressed to you as “none of your business”, “shut up” or “what do you even mean”, you need to check “macho” in advance. How? It's very easy to do.
First of all, you should pay attention to his attitude towards people from the service staff - waiters in cafes and restaurants, taxi drivers, hotel maids. If he treats them as second-class people, then sooner or later the same fate will befall the lady of his heart, no matter how beloved she was at the beginning.
How not to scare a guy3
Strange as it may seem, this applies to both strong and brutal men and their more timid “countrymen.” The trick here is that a man and a woman perceive communication, and even more so sex, radically differently. And many girls, not having time to start a relationship with a guy, almost immediately begin to consider him almost their husband.
But men, on the contrary, neither after the first dates (even if they were successful), nor after the first sex, do not consider themselves obliged to the girl or attached to her. In their understanding, they continue to be free and independent.
This is where lies the main mistake of girls who, after the first few meetings, begin to plan out loud their future life - buying a new apartment, planning a wedding celebration and choosing a name for their first-born.
For most guys, the reaction to such an “offensive” will definitely be negative. Not wanting to lose their own freedom, they will simply try to end the relationship as soon as possible, without waiting for them to be “constrained.” Therefore, dear ladies, if you do not want to ruin your relationship with a guy, do not force things and let him decide for himself that you are his beloved and unique one.
In addition to how to attract, you also need to retain
It's true. The seduction process is just the beginning. After the couple starts dating, problems begin. It may turn out that, in reality, the person is not what his partner imagined him to be, or that the characters of the guy and the girl are very different. A lot of relationships fall apart at the very beginning, so you need to work and take care to make the love last longer. In order to start a long-term relationship with a guy, you need to adhere to some rules. One of them is to make compromises.
It is clear that few people like to make concessions, but if you value your relationship, compromise is one of the main supporting factors in a long relationship. But this does not mean that the same person must always give in, nor does it mean that because of the desires of the partner, the other must give up his life principles. In this case, such a relationship cannot be called love; they are more like a sacrifice.
In addition, it is very important that people know how to find a common language. This also applies to resolving conflicts and disputes. Resolving problems in a timely manner can protect relationships from breaking. Important: ignoring a problem is not a solution. You can run away from unwanted conversations for a very long time, but this does not mean that it will not take place or that the situation will resolve on its own.
The main problem of modern relationships between a man and a woman is that today people prefer separation rather than trying to fix everything.
They stopped valuing their relationship. Of course, getting hung up on one person who wants nothing to do with you is not a very wise thing to do. But it’s never too late to try to start over again if there is mutual desire or to discuss the problem that has arisen. In some situations, all that is required is to listen to your partner and understand what exactly does not suit him. It is possible that you have similar complaints or comments about him. Don't give up and just forget all the good moments spent together. Leave a comment:
Excessive availability4
There are times when a girl is madly in love with a guy. It is then that most of the fairer sex make their main mistake - they completely dissolve in their beloved. It would seem that there is nothing surprising in this - he reciprocated, invited him on a date, which means you can completely reveal your cards (feelings) to him. Of course, to some extent it is possible, no one tells you to remain such a Snow Queen - cold and unapproachable.
But under no circumstances should you bend the stick in the other direction. If you completely dissolve in a man, you will soon become completely uninteresting to him. Many women, having fallen in love, begin with the zeal of an excellent student, Komsomol member, activist to study all areas of his interests, regardless of which particular aspect of his life they relate to - work or hobbies.
It ends up that during meetings the conversation revolves solely around him and his interests - football, hockey, chess, equestrian sports, changes in the brokerage exchange or breeding Madagascar cockroaches - does not matter. The only important thing is that by talking only about topics that are interesting to him and at the same time repeating every few words about how much you love him, how unique and incomparable he is, you can achieve the exact opposite result and completely kill all feelings for yourself.
Every man always remains a hunter-conqueror at heart. Therefore, the “victim who surrendered without a fight” is not interesting to him. If a woman lacks mystery and understatement, she becomes like a read book. So why not go to the library and find a new, unread volume for yourself.
About disappointment
So, before us there are two - he and she. At the very beginning of their relationship, they idealize each other and think that such an idyll will last forever, the fire of their passion will never go out. But some time passes. Everything begins to seem a little different to them. Some even feel like they have been deceived. He and she are not so ideally suited to each other, which is associated with the discovery of those habits and characteristics that were invisible in the early stages of the couple’s relationship. The rose-colored glasses begin to fall off and young people realize that their life will not necessarily look like a fairy tale.
The very understanding that they, like many other couples, will have to face difficulties, with the fact of fading feelings, causes a strong reaction from young people. Very often you can hear: “But we are not like that... Everything will be different for us.” However, the reality is that absolutely everyone faces similar phenomena.
Few young people are ready to give up on what is happening and not even try to save their relationships with each other. However, if one of the partners demonstrates obvious indifference and disregard for the other, then the question of maintaining the relationship becomes especially acute. Many people doubt whether it is necessary to do anything at all in such a situation? Maybe it would be better to just break up?
But before you take any steps, stop and think. Understand your own feelings, try to understand what led you and your partner to such a situation. After all, determining the cause is 50% solving the problem.
It is important that both partners understand that something is wrong in their relationship. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to correct the current situation.
Let's decide what reasons lead to a cooling of feelings in a couple's relationship.
Cold touchy5
Here the situation is radically opposite to the previous one. Many girls, fearing to appear too approachable, begin to portray themselves as an impregnable rock. But, as they say, everything is good in moderation, and in this matter the main thing is not to overdo it.
No one says to agree to a date the first time, and even more so, immediately after the first date they rush to his bed at breakneck speed. But it’s also not worth “marinating” a guy for weeks or even months, since then his thoughts will follow completely logical paths. In one case, he may think that he is not at all interested in you, and try to switch to another object for courtship.
In another case, even worse, they may mentally accuse you of having a non-traditional sexual orientation. Yes exactly. Guys also have a rich imagination and they can easily “invent” your loving glance in the direction of the neighbor next door. So, when starting a relationship with a guy, try to adhere to the “golden mean” rule
Don't be intimidated by responsibilities6
Of course, every woman needs a strong and caring man's shoulder. This is especially true for those representatives of the fairer sex who, having already been burned once, were left to raise a child alone. It is they who, having just started a relationship with a guy, often begin from the first days to impose a bunch of responsibilities on him and shift the solution to their numerous personal problems.
Few men will take such a brain attack normally. In the modern world, completely different priorities have been established and no one values weak, amorphous, weak-willed women anymore. A modern woman should be able to solve her problems on her own. This applies to everyday issues, conflicts at work and quarrels with annoying neighbors. And even if she cannot hang a shelf in the bathroom or fix the faucet on her own, she should at least call a specialist, and not sit and wait until her new loved one turns into a jack of all trades.
If the relationship with this girl is important to him, he himself will pay attention to her everyday and business problems and take upon himself the solution to some of them. Note - only parts of them. You should not expect him to turn into a kind of “good fairy” who fulfills all wishes.
The process of restoring intimacy in a relationship
- Understanding against irritation or operation "Slippers"
After a while, when the attraction subsides, we are not ready to make even tiny compromises for the sake of the other. The laws of the wild savannah suddenly begin to rule at home, and we act only for the sake of our “want”. Knowledge of system-vector psychology allows you to feel the priorities of another as your own and build a strong bridge of understanding between loving people.
For example, a man with an anal vector is angry and offended that his slippers are always thrown somewhere. And to his woman with the skin vector this seems annoyingly stupid: “He’s boring again! Why should I indulge his whims?!”
Who is right, who is wrong? With knowledge of the characteristics of vectors, it is clear that the man is not deliberately looking for a reason to find fault. It is actually extremely important to him that everything is in its place. This is how his psyche works. A person with an anal vector feels good only when everything is smooth - both in the head and in the apartment. He was created to guard the cave, and not to go hunting. But in the modern world, you have to stomp around the metropolis with legs that are not adapted for this, which quickly get tired. It is difficult for such a person to twist and turn. He returns home in the hope of peace, with dreams of comfort, but even then they came to an agreement! The slippers were hidden under the sofa again!
For a girl with skin who rushes about work and life with ease, thoughts about her husband’s slippers simply do not arise. She doesn't think it's important. But when there is an understanding that a seemingly trivial household detail is important for a loved one, then it is not difficult to carry it out and relieve unnecessary stress from both.
Each vector contains such “slippers.” Moments that will evoke pleasant emotions or especially irritate them due to the desires inherent in us by nature. For one it is an unturned light, for another it is an unclosed tube of paste. The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan will help you understand such features. Imagine what kind of relationships can be built if you have an accurate coordinate system of “what is good and what is bad” for both!
- Emotion is a unit of measurement of warmth in a relationship
After several years, and sometimes even months, of a relationship, people feel that they are moving away, but do not know how to stop this process. Fatigue, everyday issues, irritation do not in any way contribute to rapprochement.
“System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan defines the connecting thread that connects a couple into an indestructible unit. A couple can be strong only if they build an emotional connection. Does this mean declaring your love ten times a day? Not at all, or rather, this is not enough.
An emotional connection is when two people become very special to each other. When only with this person can you be absolutely frank, when only he wants to tell what is happening in the soul, when only for him the pearls of sensory experiences are kept.
Do not limit his communication7
It is completely in vain that a large number of lovely ladies, immediately after they begin a relationship with a guy, begin to consider him almost their property. This concept also includes the fact that a man should spend absolutely all his free time exclusively with her, his beloved.
Not at all, because you entered into an equal relationship, and did not get a puppy. In the second case, you are the owner, and the dog must obey all your orders without complaint. A man, even if he is in love with you, remains a free and self-sufficient person.
That is why, under no circumstances should one limit his communication with friends or work colleagues. “Granted” freedom will in no way alienate your chosen one from you. On the contrary, an intelligent man will appreciate your action, and after spending time with friends he will rush to you, his beloved.
An additional argument in favor of the fact that a man needs to periodically spend time in a purely male group is the fact that you yourself are not at all opposed to sitting in the company of girlfriends, washing someone’s bones and gossiping about your own boyfriends. So why is your man worse?
“Friendship” with his habits8
Here it is worth returning to the fact that in a relationship both partners remain independent individuals with their own independent and already fully formed characters. Therefore, it is very stupid to expect that after such an unrivaled you has entered into a relationship with a guy, he will immediately change his usual lifestyle for this.
No, darlings, this will never happen. No matter how much he loves you, his habits, ingrained in him, will remain with him forever. And it doesn’t matter what exactly we’re talking about. He can slurp while eating, leave dirty dishes on the table, like boiled capelin for breakfast, emitting an incredible stench throughout the entire apartment, leave dirty socks near the sofa or walk into the bedroom in street shoes - he cannot be changed.
If you are initially irritated by something that your chosen one is used to and you are not ready to come to terms with it, do not delay and end the relationship without allowing yourself time to finally get used to it. This is especially true when your man has harmful habits - alcohol, smoking or, even worse, drugs. There are no options here at all.
Relationship with a guy
If you have problems in relationships with guys and you don’t know how to solve them, it is recommended that you read this article and also leave your comments.
How to improve your relationship with a guy you like and make him fall in love with you, he is younger, older
Let him feel like a protector, a necessary, interesting interlocutor. Flirt, let him feel like a man next to you.
Regardless of age, all men want to be listened to carefully, listen to their opinions and increase their self-esteem.
How to improve a relationship with a guy at the initial stage at a distance, advice from a psychologist
Communicate as much as possible on various topics; there should be openness in communication.
Discuss how your day went, what you like, or tell each other stories from childhood.
How to revive a relationship with a guy if it has cooled down, is on the verge, after a strong quarrel, a long breakup, has begun to deteriorate, is strained
Care and attention will help you improve your relationship after a conflict. Show him how much you love him and value him. Talk about the future while remembering fun moments from the past. Do not remember the reason for the quarrel, do not look for flaws.
How to restore a relationship with a guy if he lives with someone else and doesn’t want it, at school
There is no need to restore with someone who does not need it. If you make it worse, he will end up despising you. Don't meddle in his life, better take care of yours.
It won't be difficult to restore relationships at school. You shouldn’t try with all your might to do this, let him think that everything worked out according to his wishes.
By the way, during some holiday, you can arrange for the two of you to participate in some kind of scene, you should have one goal.
The relationship with the guy became like with a friend, it dragged on, reached a dead end, what should I do?
There should be a mystery in a girl so that a man would be interested in solving it. Intrigue, flirt, flirt. Of course, over time, any relationship may become less stormy than at the beginning of the novel. But you can always add some “zest” to the relationship if you wish.
Relationships with a guy from Korea, Africa, Nigeria, Arab, Dagestani, Turk rules of behavior
In Korea, a guy can have relationships with other women before marriage, but a girl cannot. In Korea, guys grow up very late; before university they don’t communicate with the opposite sex at all, because there is not enough time.
Men from Africa and Nigeria are very cheerful and friendly. They honor their roots and their parents, who mean a lot to them. Respect his opinion and his family. Arabs love modest girls in public and the complete opposite in private.
Dagestanis and Turks, guys with hot blood. For them, only patriarchy is recognized. We'll have to convert to Islam. In the east, men love submissive women who do not have a strong opinion, but are completely submissive to their husbands. You need to be prepared that the wife’s place in such a family is in the kitchen.
Relationships with a guy are developing too quickly and do not bring happiness, they only bring pain, they go in circles
It is better to break off such relationships in time; it is unlikely that anything will change after a while. If you don’t have the strength to put an end to it, then try to break up for a while. Reevaluate and analyze your behavior. Let the break be “working on mistakes.”
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- Evgeniya:
06/08/2017 at 12:59It is possible to restore and heal relationships without spiritual torment and worries. Healers can completely normalize relationships without consequences. With this healing method, the impact occurs at the energetic level both on the relationship itself and on the cause of its violation. A path is opened for understanding and progress in current and future relationships. Interpersonal connections are cleared of problems and all negative connections between people are eliminated.
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Control of emotions9
A very important component is that the relationship with a guy is long-lasting and develops into true mutual love. You should not confuse your loved one with a kind of lightning rod or, especially, with a whipping boy. No, no one is saying that you can’t cry into his vest or get angry behind his back at the boss - the satrap (and even then it’s better not to do this on the first dates).
Here we are talking about the fact that if you are in a bad mood, you should under no circumstances take your emotions out on the guy. And it doesn’t matter what exactly caused your breakdown - a scandal at home or at work, critical days or the death of your beloved hamster. If you feel out of sorts, it is best to gather your strength and simply refuse the date, coming up with some good reason for this. It is much better for you not to see each other once than, having seen each other, to immediately quarrel. And another outcome of such a meeting is inevitable; not a single guy will be able to listen to your hysterical scandals. Especially if he personally is not guilty of anything to you.
How to add bright colors to your relationship with a guy
Every girl should know how to diversify her relationship with a guy. This also applies to the intimate part of the union. Therefore, it is necessary to introduce new sensations into it and try to surprise your loved one more often. To do this, you can follow the following tips:
Don't exaggerate10
When starting a relationship, many of us really want to seem better than we really are. This is where the catch lies - sooner or later, the truth will come out anyway. And, no matter what exactly you lied about - the dimensions of the apartment, the presence of a car (yacht, dacha, Arabian horse in the stable of the family castle), awarded yourself a scientific degree in physics, or the presence of a black belt in karate, the time will come when the secret will become apparent .
And in this case, it is unlikely that at least one guy will forgive his girlfriend for such a lie - separation is inevitable. Yes, in principle, if you look at the situation from the other side, you are unlikely to really like a relationship in which they will love you not for who you are, but for your exaggerations
The most important thing11
Of course, there is a huge amount of advice on how to establish and strengthen a relationship with a guy - friends, relatives, work colleagues, printed publications, opinions of psychologists or the Internet. But, nowhere can you find the one that is ideal for you. All relationships are purely individual and you must, as it were, “feel” your chosen one.
By the way, many couples who have lived together for many years, recalling their initial relationship, say that they seemed to feel their companion, his mood, thoughts, emotions. In their opinion, this is what made their relationship ideal, and their love mutual.
Why is it so important to surprise a guy?
Most psychologists will confirm that a sense of surprise greatly strengthens relationships in a couple. This emotion brings a pleasant novelty to ordinary days. Being surprised by a new side of your loved one or his unusual action, increased interest and even passion are played out. This is why so many books and magazines have been written on the topic of how to diversify your relationship with a guy by surprising him with an unexpected surprise.
